


To Those Who Wait

by Saklani



Series: Ties that Bind [2]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Prison
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-28
Updated: 2014-11-24
Packaged: 2018-01-17 07:40:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 158,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1379431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saklani/pseuds/Saklani
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A year may not seem a very long time, but for Khan and Jim, it is nearly unbearable, as they must wait out Khan's prison sentence before they can be together again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Locked Away

The maximum security prison where Khan is held reminds him very much of the gulag one of his fellow augments ran in outer Siberia. Fortunately, without the weather or the truly inhumane conditions. Still, he finds himself in a small, single-person cell, guarded at all times by members of some of the larger and stronger species of the Federation. Not that he could not find a way to escape, should he wish. After all, he freed himself of the gulag and rid the world of that particular augment, didn't he?

Still, the conditions are not pleasant, nor is the Starfleet psychologist whom he speaks to everyday. She is a Betazoid, and thus, a mindreader, something which truly creeps out the very private Khan. And her low-modulated, uninflected tones nearly drive him up the wall, so that he finds himself talking to her in equally unresponsive ways. She asks all kinds of questions that he doesn't want to answer and by the end of the first week, he begins to despair of ever getting out of this place and back to his James.

He misses James. It's an ache throughout him that he cannot every soothe. He felt the same way when separated from his family, as if his body were hollow and half-lifeless. That makes sleeping near impossible and eating about the same. But he makes the effort because, well, James. In a year, he wants to be allowed on the Enterprise, even as nothing more than a lapdog, just so he can be near James again. 

It's all he has left and what gets him through the days.

It's not been an easy week for Jim, either. The minute he found out Starfleet was putting Khan in a maximum security prison instead of the minimum security one they promised, he spends every waking hour trying to get Khan transfered, to no avail. 

It breaks his heart. It's not what he told Khan would happen, and he can only imagine his lover is freaking out in that very controlled way of his.

For his disrespect of authority, Jim gets another month tacked onto his probationary period. Ten months on New Vulcan, taking out the trash and bringing back milk and eggs. Not literally, but close enough. It's going to drive him up the wall. The only benefit is that Spock and Bones have both volunteered to go with him. And Sulu. And Uhura. And Scotty and Chekov.

He loves his crew. He really, really does. They don't like sitting on their asses on Earth and they'd rather go where Jim goes than get assigned to some random ship and some random captain. 

Still, he won't see them for another ten days, which is when he's scheduled to ship out. It's not a lot of time.

Thankfully, he's managed to arrange some visiting time with Khan. It was about the only thing the Admiralty would concede to, so Jim latched onto it and took the first available opportunity to go.

"Wow, orange is so not your color," Jim quips when he's brought in front of Khan's cell, clear wall  
separating them, just like it did back on the Enterprise. It seems like he's just making friendly conversation, but the guards can't see the way Jim smiles at him, warm and familiar.

Khan stands and just refrains from running to the barrier and pressing himself against it, longing for James' touch. "Captain Kirk," he says, voice warm despite the formality, "it is kind of you to visit me here. This is not quite what I was promised, but somehow, very familiar." He offers a brief quirking of his own mouth.

"Yeah, I know. Sorry about that." Jim grimaces a little, but his smile turns friendly and charming as he looks to the guards. "You guys seriously gonna stand there and stare at me the whole time? I know this place is maximum security, but... you're kinda weirding me out, to be honest."

It's probably Jim's reputation, moreso than his rank, that earns the respect of the guards. He's saved the Federation twice, and his father was well-known and respected, too. They don't have any reason to distrust him, so they let Jim know that if Khan tries anything, he should just yell for them and they'll come running.

Jim thanks them and gives them a wave as they turn to wander a little further down the hall. 

"That's better, don't you think?"

"Indeed," Khan says with his touch of dry humor. "However, I'm afraid it's only temporary. Your Starfleet does not trust me." He allows his feelings for James to shine in his eyes, knowing his lover will see and understand. "And how, Captain, do you fare?"

"They will in time." Jim steps forward to lean against the wall and looks over at the expandable ring that creates a temporary opening in the barrier. He wants to just open it right up and crawl through it to join his lover, but... that would be a bad idea, for many reasons. "Me? Been kind of a shit week, to be honest. Seems like yours was worse. How's therapy?"

Khan angles himself to get the best view of James, drinking him in. "Unbearable. The counselor is...Betazoid. The idea of someone in my mind." He shuts his eyes for a moment to stave off the shudder. "And she wishes me to speak about my family. About their deaths. And I- struggle not to smash my way through the wall to get her to cease. Their deaths are my personal failures. I cannot just share that."

Jim frowns a little, sympathetic to his lover's plight. He knows this is hard. He's undergone therapy before, too, right after Tarsus. He didn't want to talk about any of it, either. "You have to." He almost calls him 'baby', but remembers that someone might be listening in. "They're trying to figure you out, trying to tell if you're still dangerous. I know you don't want to, but you have to. And who knows? Maybe talking about it will help somehow." 

Khan scowls darkly and says, "I am not their lab rat." He turns in that dramatic fashion and makes a circuit of his small cell. "I feel as if they wish me to fail. As if they want to leave me in here for good and all."

"They're not going to leave you in here forever. A year. Just a year." Jim resists the urge to splay his hand against the barrier, wanting to calm Khan somehow, but it's useless. He can't touch him. "And you're not a lab rat. You're in therapy. Feels the same, but is fundamentally different."

"I can barely fathom myself the darkness that is the death of the last links I had to my old life," Khan says. "The death of the seventy-two people I did terrible things to try and save. Why should anyone else be allowed to pry into things I do not wish myself to touch?" He runs a hand through his hair and sighs softly. "It would be easier to tell you."

"I know it would. I'll call as often as I can, but... I'm shipping out in ten days. I'll be gone for ten months after that." Not a fun prospect in any measure of the word. 

Khan swallows bile and fear at the words. Ten months, almost the full year, without James even being able to visit him in this near sterile way. His bitter side, so deep and cold now, whispers softly that this is the last time he shall see his James in person again. Ten months, on a ship full of more suitable companions, how long will it be before one of them claims James' attentions? Khan is not a catch, with his dark moods, dangerous tempers and haughty arrogance. He is well aware of this, that James deserves better. Deserves light and laughter and all the things that are beyond him.

"Where are they sending you?" he asks, forcing his voice to be calm and unwavering. "Will you have your crew to join you?"

"New Vulcan. At least they didn't change their minds about that. I won't be far, so we can video call without too much lag. Bones and Spock are coming with me. Guess they figured I'd find some way to get in trouble on my own." Jim smiles a little, hoping that this is at least some good news that will cheer Khan up.

"I am glad they will accompany you," Khan says sincerely. "What ship will you use? I believe you told me the Enterprise would not be ready yet for several months."

"Yeah, they're still fixing her. I'm taking a smaller vessel, but it's more meant for hauling cargo, which is what we'll be doing. It's the USS Halverson. ...Not sure if that's a play on 'haul', or what, but it seems like it'll get us there and back in one piece." 

"And are you looking forward to being a captain again, even if you are not on your gray lady?" Khan asks, wanting to see more of James' smiles. He has a photographic memory. He will keep those in mind for whenever he gets low.

That does bring a smile to Jim's lips. "Yeah. Already getting landsick down here. Not sure how I survived it for 25 years." 

"You were made for the adventure of space," Khan agrees softly, looking at James' expression and feeling a warming in his own chest. "What have you been doing since our arrival back on Earth?"

Jim grimaces, somewhat sheepish. "Fighting with the Admiralty," he admits.

Khan tilts his head and says, "About this," with a gesture to the cell. "They intend to keep me here for the year." At least, his insides whisper treacherously. 

"Yeah, about this. They didn't like my tone. S'why I got ten months instead of nine." Jim sighs a little, feeling useless for being unable to help Khan in this regard. 

"You should not have been punished," Khan says, angry for James. "They lied to you." He looks around the cell, barren except for the bed, a chair and small table and a few PADDs. At least the refresher was private. He turns back to James. "Have they changed anything else about the terms of my sentence?"

"Not as far as I know, and believe me, I did some digging. I'll keep at them, though. I'll see if they'll downgrade you to a minimum security cell after you've had therapy for a bit. Maybe I can get your therapist to recommend the transfer. I got her contact information already." Jim doesn't really like talking to therapists. He thinks maybe she'll see right through him and find out his relationship with Khan, but it's easier to hide things through a comm line than it is face-to-face. 

Khan shudders at the mention of the therapy and says, "The therapist will need to be satisfied with my progress before she will ever recommend anything positive. And I am not an easy patient." He looks tired suddenly, the straightness of spine and shoulders slumping a little. "I have so little left that is mine. Must I give all of it away?"

Jim looks at him affectionately but pointedly, as if to say, _I'm still yours_. "It's still your decision. I'm only telling you what I'll be doing on my end. I won't force you into anything, so it'll be up to you to figure out what you want to do."

Khan catches the look and feels momentarily chastised. He has chosen his bed after all... "You will have a ship and missions soon," he says. "I hope you will not neglect to inform me of them. That will be a form of entertainment."

"I'll keep you posted. It's not like I'll have much else to do in the evenings." Jim knows Spock will handle all the paperwork related to the cargo, and although Bones will probably insist on spending more than one night drinking with him and complaining about Vulcans, there will still be more than enough time to call Khan. 

"I shall look forward to it," Khan says. "And when I am permitted, I will also send you information about my own progress. I hope that I shall be allowed outside again eventually."

"You will. Just gotta show that you're not crazy. I know you're not crazy, so that shouldn't be too hard, right?" Jim smiles. 

Crazy...Khan is not so sure he is not crazy. He is certainly unstable. Deception is a skill to be treasured, but not when directed at one's self. Honesty is the only way there "I hope they agree with your diagnosis. Perhaps you can ask my doctor?"

"I'm sure I'll be having lengthy conversations with her soon enough," Jim snorts. "And I'd better not hear about you dropping your pants and screaming for gummy worms, or something equally weird."

Khan does not know what to make of the last comment and stares blankly at James. Sometimes, the human is truly nonsensical. "I shall try not to act in any fashion so bizarre," he says finally, voice flat and unamused. 

Jim flashes him a grin, trying to get Khan to smile a little. "Well, you never know. If you really are crazy..."

"I do not think it would manifest in such a way," Khan says and changes the topic bluntly. "Did you keep the giant gummy worm?"

"Oh! I almost forgot." Jim pulls a little bag out of his pocket and drags the opening closer so he can put the bag through. It's a small assortment of candies with peanuts in them. Things Khan couldn't eat with Jim around. "Figured you deserved a treat for being good. And yeah, Noonie's fine," he tacks on with a smirk. 

"These are allowed me?" Khan asks, taking the bag when the portal on his side opens. He looks at the candies and feels a sharp pang, something deep and painful. "Thank you, Captain." He doesn't even flinch at the name Noonie, though part of him is not very amused.

"Yep. They screened them for razor blades already," Jim chirps, pleased that Khan has allowed him to name the worm with such a silly moniker. "I told them having chocolate might make your demeanor nicer."

Khan scowls at the idea that he is to be placated by sweets, but tucks them away in his bed, as if they were priceless. "I will try not to eat them too quickly. The food here is...bland."

Jim can see that the guards are starting to edge closer again and he's fairly sure that his time here has almost run out, so he pushes away from the barrier and slides the opening away once more. "Take care of yourself, okay? It looks like I have to go. I'll come visit again as soon as they'll let me."

Khan glances at the approaching guards and broaches a topic he had been hesitant to ask. "Captain...my family, did you find their remains? And make sure they were laid to rest?" He lowers his eyes, pain in his voice and stance. He had not even been able to say goodbye to them.

Jim licks at his lower lip and shakes his head. "Still working on that. I promise, I'll find them before I have to go. Question is, though... Where would they want to be buried? I don't know if I'm the guy to pick the right spot." 

Khan considers for a moment and then says, "Do you believe you could have their remains cremated and spread in the ocean? I would most prefer that, knowing they were out of reach of anyone and at peace."

"Yeah," Jim says softly as the guards arrive. "I can do that." He regrets that he can't say goodbye to Khan the way he wants to. All he can say is, "Take care. I'll see you again." 

"Fare thee well, Captain," Khan says with utter formality, but his voice is already tinged with loneliness.

Jim gives him a quick smile before he turns to let the guards escort him out.


	2. Second Visit

It was a long flight, but Jim feels accomplished. 

He'd traced the bodies all the way back to London, hidden away in a surviving bunker beneath the Kelvin Memorial Archive, rotting inside their cryotubes. It really wasn't the honorable deaths they'd deserved. The only consolation is that they'd most likely been euthanized in their sleep and never knew what happened. Most likely. 

Jim, Bones, and Spock had cremated them all, as promised, and then scattered them out in the ocean. Jim had even spoken a few words, something he thought Khan might like . Then, the three of them went home. 

He'd literally gotten off the shuttle thirty minutes ago.

The exhaustion is worth it, Jim decides, as he wanders into the prison's visitation room in search of Khan. The warden had refused a private visit on this occasion and scheduled them for a more traditional mode of visitation, a very old-fashioned one. There's more than a few prisoners and guests, but his lover stands out at the far end of the room, waiting with multiple, ill-at-ease-looking guards. Jim gives him a quick wave and then plunks himself down at one of the vacant seats.

Khan is not fond of this method of visiting, a room packed full of other prisoners and their 'guests.' Still, he will at least get to be somewhat close to James this time, this last time before his lover leaves for space and the unknown.

He sees James enter and heads for the table, once the guard indicates he may. He is striving to be a model prisoner, despite the gall to his nature, and refuses to let this be any different.

"Captain Kirk," he almost purrs, taking a seat across from him. "You look well, if tired. Have your preparations for your mission been taxing?" He examines his lover with that intense gaze, trying to read from his face and body posture everything possible

"I was in England," Jim replies. "Figured a visit to the ocean would put me at ease." He knows Khan will interpret that correctly, saying what he needs to say without giving too much away. He kept his promise, and it also explains why he looks so tired.

Khan misses a breath, voice catching in his throat, as he asks, "Then you did as we discussed? I cannot express my thanks enough. Was it- were they too awful?"

Jim shakes his head and smiles, care shining through fatigue. It wasn't a pleasant trip, but he's glad to have helped Khan, he truly is. "It's finished. You don't have to worry about that anymore." 

Khan murmurs so only James can hear, "I cannot express my thanks enough for what you have done for my family, James. You allowed them some final dignity that Marcus and his minion stole from them."

"You don't have to thank me for it. I'd have done it, anyway. They deserved to be put to rest." Jim doesn't want to be thanked for doing something any normal person with a conscience would have done. It says something sad about the world's state of affairs. "So, has Dr. Fi'ala succumbed to your charms yet?"

Khan sighs and shakes his head once, saying, "I've been telling her about my family...or trying to. I find it hard to say anything about them. But I am attempting to do as you ask and she wishes, despite my own reluctance."

"Good. That helps everybody, even though it's hard. Airing it out is the only way to get rid of that anger. Trust me, I know." Not that Jim follows his own advice. He still doesn't talk about Tarsus or his childhood or anything, really.

Khan snorts at the words and says, "I have not found that it helps much. Perhaps if I were talking to you. But with her, I cannot even indulge in that pretense. She could tell." He blows out a harsh breath.

Jim gives him an apologetic look. "I can't make them change your therapist. I'm pretty sure they picked her because she's Betazoid."

"Yes, she has indicated that her duty is double, to rehabilitate me, as well as ensure my sincerity," Khan says. "You have not had a lot of luck with my sentence."

"One year. After that, my promise still holds." Jim's still set on getting Khan out if everything goes to hell. He won't leave him to rot in prison. 

"I believe you," Khan says and offers the nearest to a smile he can manage in the moment. "I told her why I kidnapped you...about you being family because of the blood."

"Yeah?" Jim looks up, intrigued. "What'd she have to say about that?"

"She does not understand," Khan says with a frown. "The way I view family is a concept she cannot grasp. She is trying to make me believe all of it was wrong."

"Doesn't sound like she's a very good therapist," Jim grumbles. "What's wrong with your definition of family?" 

"Well, the blood bond and my being able to sense it on you," Khan says. "That's not something anyone else, besides you, might understand."

"It's not _that_ hard to understand." Jim says. "She'll come around eventually. Doubt she'd have gotten her therapist's license if she was unable to accept different cultures' points of view." 

"I am not sure how I am viewed on a cultural scale," Khan says. "In most ways, I am a human, but in some, I am...different. And not necessarily better." He says the last in a low voice.

"Even within humans, there's so many cultures that it's impossible to count. Pretty sure there's still cannibalism in some parts of Earth, so it's not like you're the worst thing out there. Besides, you're not that bad." Jim smiles, secretive. "Easy on the eyes, at least."

Khan snorts dismissively, though his chest warms a little. "Will I hear from you in space? I am allowed to send a message a week, so I shall try to find enough to write you in that span."

"'Course you'll hear from me. Like I'd forget to check in on you. You're a troublemaker. I can't leave you without supervision for long." Jim likes the idea of getting letters from Khan. Those will brighten his otherwise boring week, to be sure. "Vid calls. Then I can be certain you're not hatching dastardly plans."

Khan says, "If you say that much louder, it will be recorded in evidence against me, Captain. If my only supporter thinks I may turn."

"Yes, I think you may be plotting to assassinate Noonie. I'll have to keep a close eye on you." Jim squints one eye and mock-glowers at Khan with the other. 

han makes a face and says, "If I could make that thing disappear while locked in a cell on Earth, I would truly be a magician...and a happy man."

"What? What's wrong with it? I like it. It's got expressive eyes and a winning personality," Jim teases. 

"I hope it has not begun to talk to you," Khan says with affected concern for James' mental health.

"It sings me lullabies and professes its love for me constantly," the blond replies seriously. 

"I will definitely deal with it when I am free of here," Khan says, "as that is not healthy behavior."

"Noonie will have died long before then. He's so tasty, I just can't resist a nibble here and there." 

"That's...disturbing," Khan says with a frown. "If you meant to ingest said object, you should have named it Marcusie."

Jim leans in close and raises his eyebrows. "Jealous?"

"The opposite," Khan says. "I believe the proper words are grossed out." He speaks the last in his most haughty tone.

Jim laughs, though he's sure to keep his tone quiet so he doesn't attract attention. "Bet you'd prefer I eat your worm."

"No good can come of that analogy," Khan says with a disgusted face. "But you are helping me in suppressing any more physical needs."

"You're welcome," Jim cheerily counters, not put off by the disgust at all. He is a master of idiocy, after all. 

Khan wrinkles his nose and says, "As always, I never know how conversation with you will trend. You shall ever be a puzzle. A vexing one at times."

"Keeps things entertaining, though, doesn't it? Nothing worse than talking to someone boring." Jim figures it's a compliment. 

"You are never dull, Captain," Khan assures. "You never have been." He tilts his head and asks, "When do you leave?"

"Two days. Got to get settled onto the ship tomorrow, though. Make sure systems are all ready for Tuesday." On one hand, Jim doesn't want to go, but on the other, he's happy to be with his crew again. Still, things would have been better if Khan were there with him.

"You must have lots to do in preparation, Captain," Khan says. "Even on a ship that's not as large or fine as the Enterprise. I shall miss our conversations, Captain. You are good company."

"It's not like I'm going to have difficult, time-consuming tasks. I'll probably have lots of free time once we ship out." That's the part Jim dreads most. The boring, monotonous tasks, the feelings of not doing anything actually useful. 

"You'll be in space, free amongst the stars," Khan says. "That must surely be worth a great deal to you." 

"It is, yeah. Would rather have my own ship, though. Gonna be a long year." Long more for lack of Khan than anything else, though. 

"She is a pretty ship," Khan agrees, not unwilling to be fair about it. The Enterprise was a lovely ship and worthy of his James. "Is the ship you will be flying ugly?" 

"Looks like a three-legged sloth by comparison," Jim says. 

Khan huffs the barest laugh at James' obvious disgruntlement. "You'll have your own lady back soon." 

"That, and more." Jim lets the faintest smile show through. "Then things will be perfect." 

"Are you looking forward to working on the Enterprise?" At least that's a safe topic of conversation. Hell, it's probably an expected one. 

"I am, as long as you can find work fit for me," Khan says with a faked haughty air. "I am not certain, Captain, that you can."

"You'd be surprised, the shit we can encounter out there. Might not be slavers, but there's plenty other things out there. Lots of it man-eating. Always watch out for the things with tentacles. Those are the worst," Jim says.

Khan's eyebrows rose, and he says, "Somehow, I believe you may have some experiences of your own with these deadly tentacles?"

"On more than one occasion, yeah." Delta Vega was one. There have been a few others since. "I'm sure you'll have a few close encounters of your own." 

"I shall be content to look after you," Khan says. "And somehow, I think you shall need much looking after."

"You did a pretty good job so far. Saved my life plenty of times. Pretty sure I'd be lucky to have you watching my back." Sure, Jim's done okay with Bones and Spock, but he trusts Khan to have the strength, skill, and will to do everything necessary. 

"And we were courting danger," Khan agrees softly. "I will do my best for you, Captain, to earn my freedom."

"Good. I'm glad to hear that. You've got a lot of potential. We could do lots of good things together." What Jim means to say is that he loves Khan and that they'll make a great team. 

"I can only hope at this time that your Starfleet comes to agree," Khan says. "I will do my best to convince them, while I am stuck here."

"You can always vent your frustrations through prose," Jim lightly teases. "Just write it all down and make that your weekly letter. Might be kind of cathartic." 

"Will they not monitor my writings?" Khan asks. "I would not wish to be caught up because I lashed out in letter form."

"I'm pretty sure your therapist would think that was far better than channeling it through physical means like you have in the past." 

Khan looks at him in askance, wondering why he brought that up now. "Perhaps," he says stiffly.

"Don't get like that," Jim replies, a little softer. "I'm saying it could be a good thing. Better than bottling it up."

"The therapist recommended a feelings journal," Khan says with real affront. 

Jim outright laughs at that. "Write a feelings letter to me, instead. Maybe it'll be more bearable?"

"Perhaps," Khan says. "Though I am not unwilling to try, if that is your wish."

"That's what your therapist wants, right?"

Khan scowls deeply, but nods once. He does not wish to share his feelings in any manner, but if James requests that he do so, he will. 

"It's either that or you share them with her." Jim figures this is probably the lesser of two evils.

"I suspect that I shall have to do both before the end of this year," Khan says grumpily. "But I shall, if that is what it takes."

"By the end of the year, it won't be so hard, I don't think." 

"I have not found it to be so, but will hold out the illogical hope, Captain."

"Hope is sort of illogical by nature, don't you think? Doesn't mean it's a bad thing. I promise it'll get easier. Just hang in there. You'll be alright. One year and then I can walk you out of here and you can join me on the Enterprise." Jim knows he'll be dreaming about that for the next 51 weeks. It'll haunt him and drive him crazy and make him count down the seconds. 

"A year seems interminable in this moment, Captain, especially faced with a blank cell and talk of emotions with a counselor," Khan says. "I may only hope there is something worth collecting at the end of that time."

"There is," Jim affirms, tone reassuring. He'll be right there, waiting. Khan can come collect him, and Jim will give him everything he's got. 

"I meant for you to collect for your ship, Captain," Khan says. " I know the value of what I shall have."

"Pretty sure it's gonna go both ways, so don't worry about that. I'm not." 

Khan manages a gentle smile for James, a thanks for the scold. "I shall try not to worry about things beyond my control, Captain. But if you don't write, I shall."

"Vid calls, like I said. Gotta keep an eye on you, right?" the blond asks with a wink. 

"To maintain my mental well-being," Khan says without any irony. It is true. Without some contact with James, he will lose himself.

"Yep. Did kinda spend a bunch of time saving each other's asses. Tends to become habit after a while." And maybe other things became habit, too. Like wanting Khan's body pressed against his in the night, keeping him warm and safe. Sleeping is going to be hard for the first while. 

"That was an interesting time," Khan concedes. "I learned many things about myself that I do not believe a feelings journal could ever teach me."

Jim snorts at the mention of the journal. They could have at least given it a better name, because honestly, if you start a 'feelings journal', you immediately lose your Man Card and pretty much revoke any right to ever earn it back. He won't say that to Khan's face, though. "It's difficult to know yourself completely. Just when you think you've got it all figured out, you go and learn something new." 

"I know I shall not be myself again until this term is over," Khan says. "And I know a piece of myself was forever lost when my family was taken from me."

"I know. I'm sorry about that. I hope it aches a little less now than it did before." Jim can't fix the past. The only thing he's been able to do is scatter their remains in the ocean, and he hopes that will bring Khan some closure. 

"I should like to see where sometime," Khan says softly, "but am a bit gladdened to know they are at rest now." He hangs his head for a moment. "We were not a religious people, but I find myself wishing now that there were some next realm for them."

"That's a promise, then. Once you're free, we'll go see them. How about that?" Jim thinks that'd make a perfect date. They've never actually been on one, so... Might be good?

"I should like that very much," Khan says with raw honesty that his counselor will never see. 

"Good." Jim opens his mouth to say more, but looks up when a buzzer sounds. "Time flies, huh?"

Khan tries not to show how much it pains him that he shall not see James again for months. But the ache must be clear in his eyes. He does not hide well from his lover anymore, as he hasn't really wanted to in a long time. "Find many adventures on your journey," he says, knowing that is what James will want.

"I'm sure I will. Always do." God, how Jim longs to lean over and kiss Khan, slide his tongue past the Augment's lips and taste him. But that's not going to happen, and although his Captain facade is firmly in place, he's still sure Khan can read him just as easily as he reads Khan. "I'll see you soon," he says and then stands, steps away from the table and heads for the door with the rest of the visitors. 

Khan stands and forces his spine straight, head held high. He pulls once more around him the cloak of the emperor he will never be again, as it's preferable to being a whining, miserable wreck, simpering after James. He doesn't look back as he strolls calmly to his cell, but his neck aches from the strain.


	3. Clandestine Call

It's a couple weeks before Jim actually has a spare moment. They're running him harder than he thought they would. Between getting the cargo on and off, there's also been reports, calls with the Admiralty, calls with the Vulcans, then physical meetings with the Vulcans, a lot of Spock playing Ambassador (both Spocks in the same room is interesting), and Bones grumbling about everything. Oh, and Scotty complaining that the ship is a piece of shit. 

Eventually, though, Jim flops down tiredly in the chair in his office and does what he's been longing to do for 13 days: call Khan. So he does, and the administrator kindly informs him that she'll patch his call through to the appropriate cell. 

Thirteen days without any word from James drags Khan's mind to dark, lonely places, though he knows in the logical parts of himself that there are multitudes of reasons that the captain of a Federation vessel may not have time to spend calling his incarcerated lover. He tries to fill some of the void by writing to James every day, though he can only send him one missive every week. The end result is a very long letter, full of the most mundane of details about Khan's regimented and monotonous existence.

He attempts the 'feelings' journal prescribed by the counselor and finds himself writing a message to each of his family members, recollecting shared triumphs and tragedies and fervently apologizing for his own shortcomings. He refuses to share his writings, but there is something freeing about it. As he fills each page (his counselor being the old-fashioned sort), he can almost hear each one's voice again, see them one last time. He refuses to cry, not when so many eyes are also watching, but he mourns just the same.

On the fourteenth day, he has just started his journaling exercise, when the comm beeps. He is at the machine in a millisecond, opening the message and seeing, "James." There is relief in his voice, but he realizes instantly his mistake and course corrects. "Captain Kirk. It is good to hear from you."

Jim grins broadly and taps his screen as if indicating something. "I put on a scrambler. All Starfleet'll get on their end is static, at least for now. So as long as there's not somebody standing over your shoulder, you can call me whatever you want." And then, just to demonstrate, Jim blows him a kiss. "Baby," he lilts, "I missed you." 

Khan smiles in a mixture of relief, joy and sheer pride that this impossible man is his. "I have missed you as well, my James. Time passes interminably slow here. But how is your crew and ship? Does the mission go well?"

"Surprisingly busy," the blond replies with an exasperated huff. "I figure they're trying to drown me in paperwork and save themselves the trouble of having to keep an eye on me. It should quiet down now, though. We've got this run's cargo dropped off, so the rest should be a matter of routine now that we've got all the wrinkles ironed out."

"Your trip was to New Vulcan," Khan says. "I confess, James, that I should like to speak with them sometime, as they are survivors of a great loss." He makes a face suddenly. "That counselor is warping my mind."

Jim laughs and then smiles at him. "No, that's good! Compassion. Very good. I read your letters, by the way. I'm proud of you." Jim is so very glad that Khan has written to him. The letters are long and Jim can feel Khan's grief in them, but also knows it must be at least somewhat cathartic and that is very much worth it.

"Proud of me?" Khan asks, even though the smile warms him. "I see little for you to take pride in, considering I have been doing nothing except languishing in a cell. But I am glad the letters arrived safely."

Jim leans back in his chair, propping one leg up on the other. "Yeah, I know they only let you send one a week. That's okay. I'm glad you send them at all."

Khan's face morphs into distress, and he says, "It has been over a month that I have been in this place, but feels a great deal longer. I would dearly love to rip down these walls just for a breath of fresh air. They do, at least, allow me to get some exercise now, if walking and running in circles around a blank room can be deemed beneficial. When I attempted to run through some of the exercises I used to do, the guards rushed in with phasers drawn and set very high indeed,"

"You know," Jim says, contemplative, "I think your therapist can be your friend on that matter. You should tell her you feel cagey, that you need to be allowed to exercise more. She should be able to help you out with this, make some recommendations. It's for the good of your mental health, after all." 

"I do not trust her," Khan says. "She has superiors she reports to and for what ends, I am not sure. I will not ask her for favors."

"It's better than not asking her and then getting frustrated and pent-up. She'll pick up on that and report that to her superiors, instead. I don't see how that's better."

"How does admitting to her that I get violent if not allowed my opportunities to vent benefit me?" Khan asks, obviously hurt that James doubts his ability to control himself.

"No, what?" Jim just looks confused for a moment. "Why would you tell her you get violent? Tell her you feel anxious, or something. That's a lot better than violent." 

"Anxious and cagey will merely be read as the same thing," Khan says. "I was threatening no one when I attempted to run through my exercises, yet it was interpreted as a threat.

"Noonien," Jim says, low and comforting, "they don't understand you. They're going to be paranoid. You need to talk to Dr. Fi'ala and let her know why you need that exercise. Some species are more physically active than others. You fit into that category, and there's no reason for them to penalize you for it." 

"You trust this woman a great deal," Khan says, voice dark and not exactly kind. "Why is that?"

Jim furrows his brows. "It's not that. I just know that if you're going to have an ally in there, it'll be her, but right now, she doesn't know you, doesn't know what you need or how you work." 

"She is not my ally," Khan says, "but I will attempt to speak of the matter without making her think me overly violent. I am trying the journal she requested I write."

"How's that going?" the blond asks curiously. "You've written some entries?"

"I was not sure what to do at first," Khan says. "Writing does not come naturally to me, as other things do. But eventually, I found myself penning a letter to the closest member of my family. An apology of sorts, that I will never get to tell him otherwise."

Jim smiles, even if it's a little sad. That feelings journal isn't gonna be easy. "I'm glad you were able to get that out. Did it help?

"Perhaps," Khan admits. "It allows me to say farewell to each of them...to let go of what will never be." He swallows a lump in his throat. "I am not sure I like it."

Jim strokes the side of his monitor, wanting to be there to touch Khan. "It's hard, but it'll feel better later, once the ache fades a little." 

"You always hold out hope to me, my James. I find it still, as I did from the beginning, irresistible," Khan says and reaches out his hand to his own monitor, as well.

"All part of my charm," Jim replies with a wink. "Once you get on the Enterprise, I'll take care of all of your frustrations. I promise. I'll make them all go away." 

"I already dream about those days to come," Khan admits. "You may need at least a week of leave where you do not set foot outside your quarters. Possibly even your bed...or the floor."

"I'll keep that in mind. I'm sure we'll have a week's shoreleave before we have to head out, so we can just make sure to use that to its fullest?" Jim is definitely looking forward to that. It's just not as satisfying having to use his hand. 

"I shall hold to that thought to get me through the long nights," Khan says, who abstains completely due to the constant guards. There is no pleasure in his hand, anyway, not after James' warmth and willingness.

"Guess there's no real privacy there, huh?" Jim sympathizes. He's been in that situation before, unable to get off for long periods of time. It sucks. "Maybe... maybe I'll have a little treat for you next time, then." 

"A treat?" Khan asks, worried about what the other man might do. He's unpredictable and not always in a good way. "What do you have in mind?"

"You don't want one?" the blond asks, feigning hurt.

"I do not want to do anything that might risk either of our deals," Khan says. "I can wait a year, James. I have gone without for far, far longer."

"It'll be fine. Don't worry about it." Jim gives him a thumbs-up, as if that will somehow get rid of Khan's concerns. 

"You are my ridiculous, Captain," Khan says, "but I would still prefer to wait. I am not sure I want to find release while I am cooped up here." 

Jim looks a little disappointed for a moment, but masks it over with a smile. "Okay. If that's what you want, we'll wait." 

Khan notices the disappointment and frowns at the screen, too. "You are certain that no harm will come of this?"

"It's not gonna matter, if you're not gonna enjoy it, so it's okay. We'll wait. It'll probably be better if we wait, anyway." Jim waves his hand to dismiss the issue. "Hey, you know, Vulcans apparently make fantastic chai. You want me to ship some to you?"

"James," Khan says, obviously pained by the idea that he's hurt his lover. Also, he's afraid that he may lose James, if he isn't willing to be more than an occasional voice and image on a screen. 

"What? Like I said, it's okay." Jim widens his smile a little. He's okay with waiting...kind of. He wants to have a little intimacy with Khan, but what would be the point if Khan couldn't get off on it?

"I know that is not true," Khan says softly, "but I will continue with the fiction, if you want. I am not sure I am allowed gifts, but I would not be unwilling to try some Vulcan chai. They do have a way with spices."

Jim decides to leave the subject of sex alone. "I'll send some. They shouldn't have any issues with that. It's just chai. Plus, it's good for relaxing, right?"

"I do like warm tea," Khan says softly. "And chai reminds me of home. Though, I have never tried the Vulcan version. Did Commander Spock recommend it?"

"He did, actually. We somehow got talking about drinks, and I said you seemed to like chai, so he said I might want to get you some authentic Vulcan chai while I'm here." Jim feels a little accomplished. "I think this means he doesn't hate you." 

"I believe his friendship with you may have allowed him to soften toward me a little bit," Khan says. "I shall do my best to earn more of his trust with time. All of your family's trust. And since they are your family...they are also mine."

"Thanks. I appreciate that. I know that, in time, we'll make a great team, all of us working together." That thought makes Jim's body warm with happiness a little. He's so eager to get to that point.

" I will do my best, James, for you," Khan promises softly. "When I get out of here." He deliberately uses the when, knowing it will please James. "But a good word with those angriest with me may be useful."

"If it helps, I don't think Bones hates you, either. A lot of their anger comes from, uh-" Jim licks at his lower lip "-you know." Jim's death. He and Bones still have a hard time talking about that, and Spock generally changes the topic, or only discusses it in very logical, clinical terms. "But I'm okay now, so that helps."

"He loves you," Khan says. "They both do. I understand that now." His eyes follow James' tongue and then he looks a little uncertain. "Are you well? truly?"

"I'm alive, right? That's kinda the important bit, don't you think?" Jim doesn't really know if he's okay. It's been an issue that's been pushed to the back burner for a long time now, and he doesn't think there's much point in bringing it up. Probably, he should have had some kind of therapy. He's still waiting for Bones to force him into it, but maybe Bones needs therapy, too. 

"That's the most important thing," Khan says, "but I still have nightmares about Marcus and the death of my family. The therapist has forced me to talk about it." He sneers a little at the screen.

Jim huffs quietly, amused. "I don't blame her. It's good that you do, even if you don't like it." 

"Then how come you cannot even speak of your issues, my James?" Khan asks. "You will not even say the word, but you ask me to relive the worst moments of my life over and over."

"You've got a therapist who's there to help you and talk you through your issues. That's something. Make use of it." Jim's therapist is just as broken up about the issue as he is. It makes things a little difficult. 

Khan frowns and says, "You have all of Starfleet at your disposal, James. You could find help, if you wanted."

"I've got one doctor that I trust and he's got more issues than I do. I'm fine." 

Khan sighs and lowers his head a little, frustrated by James' answer. He will not trust anyone except his 'Bones,' but wants Khan to just tell the unknown Betazoid counselor everything. "As you say," he answers, unable to do anything from this far away.

"Just- just work with it, okay? It's all we've got." Jim has the benefit of not being mandated by Starfleet to see a counselor. He does feel bad that Khan has to expose himself like this, but Jim knows Starfleet is expecting Khan to clam up and doom himself. That needs to be avoided. 

"I am doing my best," Khan says, "if only to earn my freedom in the end. And though I know I am not trained and would be a very strange choice, I am happy to listen to anything you would tell me."

The blond smiles a little, knowing Khan absolutely means that. "I might take you up on that sometime, but not right now. I'm pretty sure we haven't got all night. I know I'm going to get a message sooner or later asking what's going on with this comm channel." 

"Whenever you are ready, James, I will be willing," Khan says. "How long do you have?"

Jim looks at the chronometer and does some quick calculations. "We've probably got another few minutes. Not much longer. I'll have to cut the signal before they figure out it's not a glitch." 

"When shall we be able to speak again, my James?" Khan asks. "I do not like the thought of being without you for such a protracted amount of time again."

"I'll be in meetings tomorrow, and the day after that, I'll be visiting Ambassador Spock, but the day after, I'll probably have time. So, in three days? In theory. Might have time tomorrow. Depends on the Vulcans. They can be wordy." 

"I'll be awaiting your call," Khan says. "Do you enjoy visiting with the Vulcans? There is an older one whom you care for, is there not?"

"Yeah, there is," Jim openly admits with a smile. "Spock. He's the one who melded with me on Delta Vega and helped get me back on the Enterprise. We've kept in touch, mostly because I'm an idiot when it comes to deal with Vulcans and I needed his advice in working some things out with the other Spock." 

"He is a good friend?" Khan asks, wanting James to have as many as possible.

"Yeah, I'd say so. He's helped me with a lot of stuff, though he still won't give me spoilers," Jim grouses. 

"Spoilers?" Khan asks. "Are not things very different now?" He pauses and looks curious. "Did you meet me then in that other universe?"

"Apparently. There was a Secret Spock Meeting and spoilers were exchanged. I wasn't invited." Jim shrugs a little. 

"A secret Spock meeting," Khan says with a wrinkled nose. "That sounds unpleasant."

"I dunno. Is it sex or masturbation?" Jim immediately regrets that as soon as he says it, nose wrinkling much like Khan's. "Scratch that." 

Khan makes a slight gagging noise and asks, "Why must you say things like that? Now, I shall no longer have pleasant memories of this conversation."

"I don't consider it a good day until I make someone puke in their mouth a little," the blond chirps, though he does feel bad that his unintended victim is Khan. 

"I am sure you accomplish that multiple times an hour," Khan says. "If only by crooning Noonie at a three foot gummy worm."

"He's only two feet now," Jim laments.

"I just threw up a little more," Khan says, face scrunching up further. "Why are you killing him off at such a great rate?"

"Needed the energy. Moving cargo around in 46 degrees is really hard work. And anyway, don't give me that-- Actually... He kind of was six feet when I bought him, so... maybe..." The look on Jim's face gives away both scientific intrigue and mild horror that he's eaten four feet of giant gummy worm thus far.

Khan echoes the expression and says, "You should attempt to at least leave me with a pleasant thought to finish this conversation."

"I came really hard last night, thinking of you?" Jim tries, thinking that might help. 

Khan chuckles softly and says, "Now I wish to ask you for details. Were they vivid?"

The blond grins, firmly back in comfortable territory. "Mm, very vivid. I remember exactly how it feels to have you filling me up." 

"Just remembered, right?" Khan asks. "Or did you use aids?"

"Lube and fingers. Didn't exactly pack one of the dildos with me. Probably should have, now that I think about it, but hindsight is 20/20. It's not like there's a sex shop on New Vulcan." Though, if there were, Jim's not sure he would want to know what was in it, but would still go out of sheer curiosity. 

Khan shivers a little at the implication of James' words and rumbles approvingly. "I want to be there with you enough that I can taste it." He swallows and says, "But you have definitely made the end of this discussion more pleasant."

"Good. At least I succeeded in something." Jim sighs a little, the thought of Khan being there making his blood run a little hot. He wants to feel his lover's hands on him again. "Well, I think I'm gonna go have a little me time after this. I'll talk to you again in a couple days. Love you." 

"Try not to be late this time, my James," Khan counters and touches the screen in farewell. "I shall miss you."

"I'll do my very best." The blond smiles a little. "Gonna miss you too, baby. Kirk out." Then the vid screen goes black.

Jim disables the scrambler and heads for the bed, stripping his clothes off on the way. He really, really wishes he'd brought a dildo. 

Khan stares at the blank monitor for a long time and then moves slowly to his bunk, feeling lonelier than ever.


	4. Incident

They work in eight-hour shifts, as they always have, but now there's two sets of them: one for the ship and one for the ground. The one on the ship is a skeleton crew. The majority of the crew, including Kirk, is on ground rotation.

It's working out fairly well. Every shift gets three hours on the ground, two hour break to recover from the heat, and then another three hours of work. Inevitably, though, there's some crewmember who's a little too enthusiastic about his work and skips his break. It probably wouldn't be a problem if the standard temperature on New Vulcan weren't several degrees above comfort zone for humans. Heat exhaustion sets in too easily here.

The Incident happens to coincide with a day that they're all working with volatile materials. The resulting explosion injures six. Two Vulcans, four humans. Jim is one of them. 

The news is reported back to Starfleet, and somehow, a journalist gets his hands on it and sensationalizes it. The headline reads: Hero Captain Seriously Injured in Explosion. 

Khan has been calmer since James managed to find a way to contact him on a regular basis. He continues his journal, does his best with the counselor (though he never, ever trusts her) and remains on good behavior. Until he hears, in the low mumbles of two guards who are never quite far enough out or range, that Captain Kirk has been injured on New Vulcan, heroically saving lives. And then he cannot pretend not to know what they're saying, especially when their conversation ends without details. He asks for and then demands some sort of news from them, from his counselor, from anyone who might know, but they all refuse, rebuking him for trying to break the rules about information from the outside. 

He waits for a call from his James, needing to hear his voice, to know he is well. And nothing comes. Nothing.

His mood turns from worry to anger, as the others continue to stonewall and admonish him. He begins to plan his escape, even knowing it will cost him everything because his hard fought for calm is gone, replaced by the darkness of fear and despair. If James is dead, then there is nothing left for him anyway. And knowing he is alive and well is worth any cost.

But Khan doesn't have to resort to drastic measures because two days after the accident, there's a comm waiting for him. From Jim. One of the coded, scrambled ones, fortunately, for neither of them will be in any mood for hiding. 

"Hey," Jim greets, smile tired. He's in a bed in Sickbay, cut and bruised and his left eyebrow has been singed off, but otherwise, he's in one piece. And apparently heavily drugged, if his slur is any indication. 

"James," Khan says and wishes he could claw through the viewer and to his lover's location. His eyes look over everything he can see, desperately trying to determine the extent of James' injuries. "How are you? They will not tell me. I cannot learn anything. I was ready to escape and discover what happened to you." 

"No, hey, don't escape. That'd be bad, okay? I'm fine." Jim holds up his arm to show Khan his IV. "A little doped up, but fine. All good. Aaaaaall good." Okay, maybe a bit more than a "little" doped up. "Jus' a minor 'splosion, s'all."

Khan growls and fists both hands, angry and scared still. "I should have been there. You're always getting yourself into trouble, and how can I prevent you from getting hurt, getting killed, when I am in here?" He keeps himself from yelling by the barest margin, head hung and breath forced.

"It's okay. It's _okay_. This is why I have Spock and Bones, right? 'Sides, I barely got 'sploded. Tiny bit. Not a big deal," Jim slurs, squirming to try to get comfortable, which only makes the nurses plead with him to stop moving around and let his ribs heal properly. 

Khan hears the nurse and barks, "Be still, James! You must not harm yourself further!" He shakes a little and glances once over his shoulder, hoping not to have attracted the notice of the guards, relieved to find that the damper is working. 

Jim sighs and flops back into the bed, pouting a little. "Ev'rybody's yellin' at me today." 

"You fool. We all just want you to be well," Khan says, eyeballing a pretty nurse as she fusses at James. He barely refrains from growling that James is his and then frowns instead. "Should they know you are calling me?"

"S'fine. Bones said I should call 'cause you might be worried, or somethin'. I said you were completely capable of handling yourself, but then BAM, here you are, on the comm. I don't even know what happened." Poor Jim. Or, perhaps, lucky Jim. He's on the good stuff and loving it. 

Khan says, "Perhaps I should have taken Bones for a lover, instead of you, since he seems more concerned for my welfare. Of course, I am not handling it well."

"Nuh," Jim protests. "Only I'm allowed to call him Bones. He'll punch you if you call him that." There's a short pause after where Jim furrows his brows, trying to collect his thoughts. "That's not fair. I was gonna call."

Khan sighs, knowing that James cannot be held accountable when he is obviously high. "And so you did," he says, breathing out a long sigh. "And so you did. I wish to ask you what happened, but you seem in little shape to tell me."

"Heat stroke," Jim says seriously. "S'not a good thing to have when dealin' with explosive things. Seems like Anders forgot that 'n' he skipped his break. Made a wrong move of some sort and set the stuff off. All I heard was a 'get down', so I pushed the Vulcans down to keep 'em safe. I think. Bones says I got hit by debris. S'why my ribs are sore." Jim rubs at his face where his eyebrow used to be. "I look so funny right now, seriously. It's like... you don't even know what's wrong with me when yer lookin' at me." He laughs a little, so amused by this thought.

"You are my careless hero," Khan says and glances over his face, at the missing eyebrow. "I do not even notice, my James. As long as you are alive and will survive, I am satisfied. But do, please, try to avoid trouble while I cannot be there with you. These were supposed to be...milk runs."

"They are milk runs, but accidents happen. Not gonna stop just 'cause I'd like 'em to. You don't gotta worry so much, though. I c'n take care of myself." Jim looks over at someone outside of the range of the camera. "Uh. Mostly."

Jim laughs a little. "Yeah, well, Bones has some sort of club started for people who think I'm incompetent when it comes to self-... self-whatever it's called when you're supposed to be watchin' yer own back." 

"I really will end up liking this doctor of yours, if only because he speaks sense to you," Khan says. "But I will not call him Bones, I promise."

"Good!" Jim says, happy by the news. "You two should be best friends. That'd be awesome." 

"Best friends...somehow I doubt this," Khan says with a slight wrinkle of his nose. "But I shall endeavor to get along with him, as I promised. I will also partner with him to keep you well."

The blond snorts out another laugh. "Partner with him. Yes." Jim snickers quietly, entertained more than he should be. Who knows what his drugged-out brain is conjuring up?

"I do not believe I enjoy you when you are dopey in this fashion," Khan says, but there is warmth in his tone. He's grateful for James' health and willing to overlook almost anything for it.

"I'm _adorable_ ," Jim counters indignantly.

"You're delusional," Khan counters, but then adds in his own low, velvety purr, "And adorable."

That elicits a smile. "Glad we agree," Jim says and then yawns, eyes sliding closed for a moment. 

Khan says, "Please, James, get some rest now. My fears are assuaged, and I can relax now until I hear from you again." 

"You were really worried, huh? How'd you even know? It just happened."

"That was two days ago, Captain," another voice cuts in.

"Spock, what. Come on, man. Was not." Jim lifts his head to stare off past the PADD. 

"It was indeed. Your accident was 53.4 hours ago."

"Wow, okay." Jim focuses his attention back on Khan. "Never mind." 

Khan's spine stiffens at the unpleasant voice, the man who cannot lie. "James, does Commander Spock know you are contacting me now?"

"What? No. Well, he does now. I don't think he wants to say 'hi'." 

"Wonderful," Khan deadpans. "Sign off for now, Captain, and try not to get into anymore trouble for awhile."

Jim furrows his brows, confused by the sudden change in demeanor. "Why? It hasn't even been--" 

Jim disappears from view as the PADD gets snatched away from him, and there's a disgruntled squawking noise as the blond undoubtedly tries to reclaim it. 

"Your time's up, infant. If you weren't recovering from injury already, I'd smack you upside your head, you damn child. Get to sleep. Don't make me inject you with something else." That particular drawl can only belong to McCoy, although the PADD picks up a spectacular view of the ceiling. 

Khan signs off without another word and then slowly stands, entire demeanor more relaxed than he has been in days. He lays down on the cot and shuts his eyes, falling asleep easily and finding nothing but darkness.


	5. Rage and Disappointment

Khan does well for the next few weeks, with James recovering and everything proceeding as normal with his own sentence. He has found a new center for the moment, content in merely knowing James is alive and well. Until his counselor changes tactics with him and begins to ask questions about his family members. She calls some of them, particularly his closest friends, by name. He holds his temper as long as he can, but after repeated days, he snaps and rages at her. He holds back at physical violence, but almost crosses the line more than once. By the time the red haze clears, there are as many guards in the room as can fit.

The counselor looks at him coolly and says, "Well, that won't look too good in my report, now will it, Mr. Singh? I fear a great many people will be disappointed in you."

Jim is definitely disappointed, though through that, he's still worried, which is why, the night he gets the report, he sends through a call to Khan with the scrambler in full effect. Despite the anger he feels at Khan jeopardizing their position like this, the first thing he asks is: "Are you okay?"

Khan shakes his head, fringe over his forehead, like he has not bothered to keep up his appearances. "I am not, my James. As I believe you know. She is not my friend, nor even an impartial judge of my actions. She deliberately provoked me and used the names of my friends to do it." He snarls and turns away for a second, before looking back at James. "You know my rage. How hard to control my violence it was, when she taunted me with their loss."

Jim sighs, shoulders slumping as he closes his eyes and rubs at the bridge of his nose. "You can't let her get to you, Khan. You can't let your anger take control. The minute you do, you screw us both over. And even if Starfleet decided not to extend your sentence, I can't let you on the Enterprise if you can't keep your temper in check. You get that, right?"

Khan pulls back at the words, hurt by their treachery. "You have called to chastise me," he says coldly. "You fear me still. How foolish I was to believe in your Starfleet...in you."

"Don't be ridiculous." Jim shakes his head. "I don't fear you. I'm concerned one of my crew might say something you don't like and you'll scare the absolute shit out of them."

"My family is the way to my heart, Captain. You know this. As did Marcus and now, this creature who is supposed to be helping with my rehabilitation. I am willing to speak as far as I can, but none have the right to tear at the wounds of my heart."

"I know, and she's a bitch for digging at it. No matter what, though, you have to keep calm. You have to. There's no 'but's about this, Noonien," Jim says firmly, looking straight at him. "Keep your temper in check. For me. Please." 

"It is not so easy," Khan says, "especially when you are not near me anymore. I have nothing to hold on to but promises I am uncertain will even be kept. How may I bear my soul, my weakness and pain to one who is trying to destroy me?"

Jim thinks for a bit, and then he seems to decide something. "I'm gonna send something to you that might help, so just hang in there for a couple more days, okay?" 

"I will try, my Captain," Khan says quietly. "I shall even swallow what little is left of my pride and attempt an apology to the counselor that even the guards may hear. I do not know that it will avail me of anything, but I am willing to try."

Jim smiles and kisses his index finger, which he then presses to the screen. "I think that'd go over well. Apologizing is a hard thing to do."

"You should not have threatened me," Khan says, not feeling very generous at the moment. "If you decided I was not fit for the Enterprise, then I would be fit for nothing at all."

"For God's sake, I didn't threaten you. I pointed out a very real issue," Jim replies, right back to frowning again.

"Yes, so you did," Khan agrees, cold again. "You pointed out that you still don't trust me. And then denied it. But you don't." He shivers as a terrifying cold spreads throughout him. "If you truly fear that I might harm your crew, then you are right not to take me with you. But if that be your decision, I ask you to tell me at once, when you have made it."

Jim's right back to rubbing at the bridge of his nose. "No, I'm telling you why you have to cool your temper. You already know that if things don't work out, I'm going to come get you and we're going to leave. You know that, so it's not a threat. It's incentive to try harder, if nothing else."

Khan still finds it hard to believe that James could give up his Gray Lady and family and knows he would hate himself if his lover ever did. Still, there is some amount of warmth to be taken from those words, so he wraps that around his doubting heart as tight as he can. "You have my promise then."

"Okay, good. Now, that issue out of the way, did you get the tea I sent?" Jim asks, moving onto a lighter subject. He doesn't want this call to be all about bad things.

They withheld it for the moment," Khan says, "though I was told of its arrival. Thank you for being thoughtful." He is still displeased, but the politeness is an attempt.

"Hopefully they give that to you soon. Sounds like you could use some of it," Jim replies. He's honestly not expecting Khan to be happy with him right now, but he said what needed to be said. 

"I do not know," Khan says. "Given my recent...outburst, it may be some time before I am allowed even the smallest of considerations again. I am just glad we figured out how to do this."

"To talk without restrictions? Yeah. Not sure I could have gone a year with only professional conversations. Probably would have driven both of us crazy."

"I would have made do, but yes, the lack of the personal would have been difficult. And it's already difficult," Khan says. "I am glad you are skilled at these kinds of shenanigans. Though they are a little more serious now."

"My particular skillset comes in handy sometimes," Jim admits. "Can't keep this particular one up for too long, though. I'll have to figure out different frequencies to keep them from figuring it out." 

"I am sure you will keep them chasing their own tails in circles," Khan says, warmth creeping back into his voice now. He understands the risks James takes to call him like this. "And I shall enjoy every moment."

"For as long as it takes, yeah. Though, we've made it through a good chunk already, right? Amazing how time flies." Though, it seems to crawl most of the time. Some weeks seem like months. 

"A good chunk is a relative term," Khan says, "since more than half my time still remains. Too long for the continued picking of holes in my defenses."

"You'll make it. I know you will." Jim smiles at him, once again overcome by the urge to touch. Khan could probably use some serious hug time. 

"That is certainly my aim," Khan says, "though I have calculated a dozen...two dozen ways I could escape this prison, were I so inclined. Sometimes, that is all I have to keep my mind occupied."

"If it comes down to that and they try to screw you over, do it. Escape. I'll come get you, I promise. It's easier to think that you're in there voluntarily, isn't it? But I still think you can make it."

"I do not like having no control, so I at least think about some of the ways in which I could have control," Khan says. "It is still better than my life under Marcus."

"Anything's better than that. Kinda setting the bar low, don't you think?" Jim picks up his PADD, taking it with him over to his bed and flopping down comfortably, groaning as his back cracks. "Could really use one of your massages right about now."

Khan makes a face and says, "For the sake of your health, I would not object to having a professional take care of that. Even if I will feel jealous. Make sure it is someone already married happily."

"I'll ask Bones!" Jim quips, grinning broadly. He's sure Khan's going to kill him for that suggestion. 

"He is not happily married," Khan says. "And is he trained for that kind of work? Being a general doctor does not make him qualified."

"It's not like there's a professional masseuse on this ship." Jim taps at his lower lip. "Pretty sure Bones' knowledge of anatomy would make him great at massages, though."

Khan glares a little, knowing what he is doing, and then says, "If he keeps you well, then I shall accept him. I know he is not interested in you sexually."

"Pretty sure he's straight." The blond looks doubtful for a moment, eyes squinting as he thinks. "Probably."

"As long as he does not want you, he can be the most sexually active male in Starfleet," Khan growls. "But you are mine."

"Can't wait for you to come back and claim this ass as yours," Jim purrs, definitely liking it when Khan gets possessive. 

"Do not tempt so," Khan growls, eyes flicking all over James' body. "I have control still of my body, but we were together long enough that I yearn."

"You know, if you really need to rub one out, it wouldn't be that weird. Nobody expects people to go for so long without masturbating." Jim squirms, slipping out of his undershirt and tunic. "I wouldn't mind being your wank material." 

"James," Khan hisses, completely perturbed, "I do not wish to pleasure myself in these circumstances. I believe we already discussed this. Though, I am not adverse your allowing me to watch you..."

"Yeah? What's the point, though? Watching me and not doing anything yourself?" Jim doesn't really get the appeal in that. 

"Well, you are fun to watch," Khan says, "and I enjoy your enjoyment."

Jim smiles. "Next time, then. I'll call you and we can have a little fun." 

"That is a deal," Khan agrees solemnly. "I am sorry you called this time for less than happy reasons."

"Somebody's gotta keep you in line, right? Don't worry about it." Jim rolls his shoulders. 

Khan scowls a little and says, "As usual, you choose such lovely words for our relationship."

"That's part of loving you, baby, keeping an eye on you," Jim replies easily.

"I do not mind having your eyes on my, depending on the purpose of them," Khan replies with an equally dry tone.

Jim's easy smile blossoms into a grin. "I can't have my eyes on you all the time?"

Not unless we can get this to work out," Khan says, "which I suppose is another reason I must try to get along." The words are said with a hint of distaste.

Jim tips his head in acknowledgement. "We'll both just have to try our best, and if I don't get any more crazy reports from Starfleet by my next call, you'll get that reward." 

"I am not a fan of blackmail," Khan observes dryly, yet with a bit of an edge.

"It's not blackmail. It's a reward system. Blackmail doesn't have rewards, just lack of punishment."

"Oh, I see, so withholding you affections is not blackmail," Khan says, but now there was teasing.

"It'd be blackmail if I said I was gonna sent pictures of your naked ass to Bones if you didn't do what I wanted you to," Jim teases right back. 

Khan raises his eyebrows and says, "I fail to see how that is unpleasant for anyone but your friend."

Jim outright laughs, knowing Khan is so, so right. "So, what, you'd be okay with Bones getting a full view of your glorious rear end?"

"He is a doctor, he has seen many a rear end, though not, perhaps, in the pornographic sense you mean," Khan says. "Sending it to your Vulcan might be of more alarm...to both of us."

"I wouldn't do that to Spock. That'd be terrible," Jim says with a grimace.

"I am sure your Bones would enjoy the idea that he is an all right candidate for such a prank, while the Vulcan is not," Khan says. "I shall tell him so one day."

"Oh, yeah, thanks. I'll be hearing about that one, for sure." Jim knows Bones would definitely not like the thought of being forced to look at Khan's rump. 

Khan digs up a ruthless smile and then says, "I look forward to the yelling. I shall save it for sometime...appropriate."

"Okay, see that? That right there? That is blackmail."

Khan affects innocence. "How is that blackmail, Captain? I have not asked you for anything to prevent me from doing it."

"Are you going to?" Jim asks, deadpan.

"No, I do believe that I will hold on to this until is becomes useful," Khan purrs, all smug as a cat with the canary. 

"So it's just plain cruelty, then," Jim notes, eyebrows raised.

"I believe you would call it a joke, Captain," Khan says and then smirks at James.

"Pff, I bet you really will tell him. Oh well," Jim sighs. "Always knew I would die young."

Khan frowns at the idea and then growls a little. "That is not a joke for my ears."

Jim lifts his hands in surrender. "Well, I'm not gonna die young if you're here, right?" 

"That is another reason for my cooperation," Khan agrees with a moue of grumpiness. "Fine, I shall tell the counselor all she wishes to know and far more than she deserves. Are you happy?"

"What? I didn't even -- how the hell did that come back up all of a sudden?" Sometimes, Khan's sudden change of moods catch Jim by surprise. Actually, most of the time. 

"Your safety is worth more than anything else, and you rightly pointed out that my place at your side will keep you safe. Therefore, I cannot let anything prevent my returning there," Khan says.

"Safe or not, I just want you here. That's my priority." Jim's never been one much concerned for his own safety.

"Yes, I am grateful for that, my James," Khan rumbles, voice warm and rich as the finest wine now. "I will strive for that moment again, though it will not be easy."

"The best things never are," Jim says, even though he knows it's cliche. "I'll make it worth your while. That much, I can guarantee." 

Khan snorts at the line, but says, "You will have to do nothing more than get me out of here to make it worth my while. Everything else is extra."

"Oh, well, then. Yes, sir. I'll get you out and let you be on your way," Jim jokes. 

Khan scowls at him again and says, "I am a man who expects the extra. And your jokes are terrible."

"So demanding. Good thing I'm willing to oblige."

"Oh yes, you are a prince among men," Khan says, knowing James will puff and enjoy that comment.

"Thought that was you?"

"I am a god amongst men," Khan counters, all sly amusement now.

"If we're talking about sex, I won't argue with you," Jim replies, smug despite being the one to pay the compliment.

"Your skills are nothing to be sneered at in that realm," Khan returns with equal parts compliment and amusement.

"I haven't got your stamina or strength, though. Not even close."

"Well, nobody's perfect...except an augment," Khan teases and then relaxes completely, happy in the moment.

Jim smiles warmly at him. "Yeah... I'm in agreement with you there." The look he gives him is pure affection, full of the honesty of Jim's regard for his lover. 

Khan feels his one expression soften in response, naturally tuned to James. He feels remotely sappy and stupid, but that doesn't matter because it's James. Nobody else sees or knows, so who cares? "Thank you," he says, sincere and almost throaty,

Jim's content to just bask in Khan's happiness for a moment, but it's interrupted by a beeping noise. "Ah, that's my cue that I should shut this down before we get in trouble. Next call though, gonna be fun!"

"I shall do my part," Khan promises. "Until next time, my James."

"Love you," Jim says quietly before he turns off the connection and rolls over onto his back, already missing the sound of Khan's voice.


	6. Point of Views

Uhura marches up to Jim at the end of a long alpha shift and says, "I'd like to speak to you privately, Captain." And oh, she could put Khan to shame with the dripping contempt put in to that word. 

Well. Jim knows this isn't going to be a fun conversation. Nonetheless, he tips his head in an indication for her to follow him off the turbolift. He leads her down the hallway to his quarters, gestures for her to head inside, and then he shuts the door behind her. 

"I'm guessing you want permission to speak freely, so I'm gonna pre-emptively give it to you." Jim has a feeling he'll probably regret that. Very few things would piss Uhura off to this extent. Jim can narrow the list down to one thing at this particular moment, and that isn't a conversation he wanted to have just yet. 

"Thank you, Sir," Uhura snipes and then folds her arms. "Spock is a terrible liar, being a Vulcan, so when I finally asked him what was going on with you and Khan, he told me everything. And I sincerely hope that I misunderstood him, Captain. Or that you were telling him some kind of twisted joke."

Jim's expression is nothing sort of "are you fucking kidding me, Spock?" but what actually comes out of his mouth is a somewhat calm, "I suppose that depends on what he told you."

"You want Khan to join the Enterprise after he serves his sentence on Earth," Uhura says. "You want to ask the man who was responsible for the deaths of 74 of the crew to serve on the ship! How could you even think of it?"

"For one, it's an order from Starfleet. Two, yes, I vouched for him, because I was out there for months with Khan and we saved thousands of lives. Thousands. From slavers. He's got every capability of being just like any of the rest of us, but somebody came along and held his family hostage."

Jim takes a breath and rubs at the back of his neck, softening his tone slightly. "What would you do if someone kidnapped Spock and then told you he was dead? Imagine that pain times 72. What would your reaction be?"

"Not to smash a starship into a city full of innocent people!" Uhura yells. "Not to fire on a nearly defenseless ship also full of people not responsible for those deaths! Captain, he killed you. He made Spock cry and then go into a blood rage. Maybe you've seen something in him that you like, but nobody else has. How can you do this to the crew, Captain, force them to work with that murderer?"

"I'm not going to force anyone to do anything," Jim replies, holding her gaze, keeping his voice level despite Uhura's raised tones. "I know nobody's going to like this, and I know none of you are going to understand. At least, not until you've met Khan off the battlefield. He did what he did out of desperation. I'm not saying it's right, and neither is Starfleet. Hell, Khan doesn't even think it was right.

"But here's a man who went through intense mental and emotional trauma, not once, not twice, but three times at the hands of Starfleet. A predecessor of Starfleet is what made him exactly what he is in the first place. So, yeah, Khan has to atone for his crimes, but so does Starfleet. They shouldn't get off scot-free for letting a man like Marcus torture Khan and then murder 72 defenseless people."

Jim takes a breath, knowing he's gone on a bit of a rant. "It's the right thing to do, Uhura. I don't expect you to agree because you haven't seen any other side of him but the one that went insane when his family was threatened. That's why I'm not forcing you, or anyone else, to accept this. I will sign whatever transfer papers you submit. Hell, I'll recommend you for whatever post you want, with absolutely glowing commendations. God knows you deserve it. But I'm asking you, as your friend and captain, to trust me on this. Trust me that this is the right thing to do." 

Uhura bristles and says, "I am not defending Marcus anymore than you are. I know what he did to Khan was wrong. And maybe you're even right that he deserves another chance...but it's not like he was a stellar character under his own direction, either. And if he has to have a second chance, why not give it somewhere more appropriate? He could aid in the rebuilding of San Francisco. That's got a long way to go still. Or perhaps he could help on New Vulcan? The Vulcans could cope with his strength and maybe even help him tamp down on the rages. Why are you foisting him on us?"

JIm knows she has a valid point, valid concerns, valid fucking everything. "It's not so much that he can't help elsewhere, as the fact that on the Enterprise, I can keep an eye on him. Right now, I'm the only person in the whole Federation that he trusts. He has to learn to trust us just as much as we have to learn to trust him. Or at least tolerate him. It's not going to be an easy battle, and putting him in the middle of San Francisco, amid civilians who hate him, with nobody he knows and nobody who knows him, that's a disaster waiting to happen. It can't work anywhere but here." 

Uhura shivers and says with a choked tone, "I saw you die, Captain. I saw Spock lose himself to rage and sorrow. And I shot that bastard over and over and wished I could have set the phaser to kill for what he did. And only the fact that his blood might save you kept me from doing it. I have never taken a life, Captain, but I wanted to take his."

"Multiply that anger by 72 and add childhood psychological conditioning towards violence. This hasn't been easy on anybody, but we can try to make amends. I'm not going to let Starfleet sentence him to life imprisonment or death. That's not taking responsibility for what they did. They made him; I have to try to set that right because I know nobody else is going to." Jim tries for a small smile. "Don't think Bones and Spock haven't both tried to yell sense into me already." 

Uhura glares at him for a long moment and then says, "I don't know if I can serve with him, Sir. The Enterprise means everything to me, and you're going to drive me off of her."

Jim's smile fades, but he nods in understanding. "You're an amazing officer, Uhura, and you've been a great friend. I'd be in your debt forever if you decided to stay, but if you can't bring yourself to do it, I understand. Really. If I were in your shoes, I'm not sure I'd want to stick around, either. I promise, there will be no hard feelings." 

"Except on my part," Uhura says fiercely. "I know you have a nice, logical argument all ready for everyone who questions you, but frankly, it's like you're fucking over your entire crew for the sake of one person. If you really want to take Khan with you, maybe you should transfer to a different ship, instead."

That cuts deeply at Jim, and he's sure, observant as she is, that Uhura catches the hurt that flickers across his face before he can throw his Captain Facade firmly back in place. "You'd make a good First Officer, you know that?"

"Don't try to sweet talk me, Captain," Uhura snaps. "I don't think it's too much to ask that you consider a different posting, instead of making the rest of the Enterprise's crew do so. Spock would be an excellent Captain."

Ouch. 

"Your opinion is noted, Lieutenant. Dismissed." Jim knows he's not going to win this argument. All he can do is end it and hope that Uhura calms down once she's had some time to consider things. 

"Yes, Sir," Uhura spits and turns on one elegant heel, tossing her hair in that perfectly contemptuous way she has.

After she's gone, Jim moves over to his bed and sits on the edge of it, burying his face in his hands and taking a deep breath. Maybe Uhura has a point. Maybe he should just leave on his own ship with Khan. Maybe he's absolutely wrong to do this to his crew, to try to make people understand when they hate Khan so strongly. 

Maybe it's wrong to make Khan go through a year of rehabilitation just to be at the mercy of people who won't give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe Jim's the one in the wrong here and his idealism is blinding him. 

Bones and Spock are only supporting him because they're his best friends. Starfleet is only allowing this because Jim practically blackmailed them into it. It would be easier on everybody if he just quietly took Khan and left. 

"Fuck," he whimpers to himself, quivering slightly under the weight of his doubts. 

He'd planned to contact Khan, planned on giving him that good time like he'd promised, but he can't do that now, not in the mood he's in, so he just kicks his boots off and curls under the blankets, hoping a nap will quiet some of the voices in his head.  
~~~~~~~

Bones shows up at Jim's quarters a few hours after normal dinnertime, bearing a tray of his favorites (however unhealthy they were, it was the only way to make the damned infant eat) and a bottle of the good stuff. Bourbon. He rings the chime and calls, "Don't make me break in, Jim!"

Aw, hell. Jim pokes his head up from under the blankets, eyes practically glued shut and hair sticking up all over. Somehow, he manages to make it to the door without tripping over his own feet, rubbing at his face to get rid of the last of the sleep as he opens the door. "Okay, Jesus, no need to kick down the doo-- ooh. Pizza."

Bones rolls his eyes and carries the tray to a table, setting it down. "Sit your ass in the chair and eat. And tell me what's the matter with you."

"Who says there's something the matter with me?" Jim asks, but sits down anyway, already reaching over to pick up a slice. He knows he probably looks like hell.

"Because you have been working like a madman to reconnect to your crew since you got this boat, including eating every meal in the Mess," Bones says. "And suddenly, today, you just don't show up for dinner. Not like there's any emergency going on. And interestingly, I know you didn't talk to Khan...so, something else is up." He gives him a stern look, but his eyes are soft and worried.

Jim lets out a deep breath and drags his hand over his face. "Uhura came to talk to me today," he says, figuring Bones will be able to fill in the rest. 

"Spock can't keep secrets from her," Bones says. "So, she gave you an earful, huh? What did she say?" He opens the bottle and pours them each a finger.

Jim gulps down that drink and takes another bite of pizza before he looks at Bones again. "Long story short, that I was being selfish and shouldn't burden the Enterprise crew with this. She said it'd be better for everyone if I made Spock captain and left for another ship with Khan." 

Bones frowns until his frown has frowns, makes a note to give Uhura a piece of his own mind and then puts a hand on Jim's right shoulder. "So, it's a good thing I brought the bottle, cause it's time to have a talk we're long overdo on. Not that it's your fault, even though I know you've been avoiding it from the minute you woke up. We need to talk about the fact that you died."

Jim gives Bones a look. "Jesus, really? You want to talk about that right now?" God, he's so not in the mood for that, even with alcohol. 

"No, I don't ever want to talk about it, let alone think about it," Bones says. "Anymore than you do. But Jim, everything leads back to it, including Uhura losing her shit with you today. You went into that damn warp core and put it back into alignment and fucking died. You were in a body bag, nothing more than a lump of meat-" His voice chokes up completely, and he huffs a breath that's more a sob than anything. "Fuck." He pours himself another shot, adding more to Jim's glass, too.

Jim drinks down everything Bones gives him, trying not to let his friend's obvious distress make his own throat tighten. "Yeah, but I'm fine. I did what I had to do and I got lucky. What else is there to say?"

"That we all didn't just get to hit the damned reset button on our emotions cause you were lucky and managed not to make death permanent," Bones says, steel underlying his tone. "And Khan was the one responsible for all of us being gutted like that. Khan. We can't just put that genie back in the bottle, either."

"I don't know what to do about that, Bones. I don't think there's anything I can do about that. How the hell do I fix the fact that I died?" Jim knows what it did to people. He's never seen Spock cry like that. And then there's the fact that he was kidnapped right after...

"You can't fix it, but you can't just act like it doesn't matter, either," Bones says. "And you have to stop pretending it didn't mean anything to you, either.

"It didn't. I'm fine," Jim tries, not really expecting Bones to believe him. He still remembers exactly how scared he'd been right at that moment, when he knew for certain there was no way to escape death like he always had.

"Godfuckingdammit, Jim!" Bones snaps. "Fine. You know how I felt? I felt like someone had torn out my fucking heart, made a scrambled egg out of it and shoved it back in my chest. I wanted to crawl into the nearest black hole and never crawl out again. I wanted to make the binge I went on after Joss left me look like a mere bump in the road and not an attempt to die of alcohol poisoning. I felt like I'd lost my best friend... cause I had! You asshole, don't tell me you're fucking fine. If nothing else, you better damned well feel upset that we were all upset."

Jim lowers his head and stares at his desk for a long while before he finally says, "I'm sorry." It's quiet, dejected. Jim knows he had to do it to save his crew, but somehow, he feels like he did something wrong. 

"Fuck, no, don't you damned well apologize," Bones says. "I'm so proud of you, I could pop with it. I brag as much about you as I do about Joanna, and that's no little bit. You're a goddamn hero. You gave your life for all of us. And we'll never be able to thank you like you deserve. But it did fuck us all up a bit."

Jim shakes his head a little, rubbing awkwardly at the back of his neck. "I'm not a hero. I'd never been so fucking scared in my whole life. I didn't want to die. I kept thinking that, when I died, it'd be sudden, that I'd be fighting, not cowering on the floor of a decontamination chamber." 

"You were fighting," Bones says. "You were fighting for the lives of everyone on the ship. And that's more than enough. It was all right to be scared. Why, Jim, why were you willing to admit it then and not now?"

Jim looks at everything except Bones. "That I was scared? Because whatever pride I had flew out the window when I could feel my body shutting down. I'm supposed to be the captain. I'm not supposed to be scared." 

"That's the stupidest thing you've ever said, and you've said some whoppers," Bones counters. "Now, don't deny it. Nobody faces death lightly. Nobody. If you weren't scared, you wouldn't be human. You wouldn't be you. And then I wouldn't have my best friend. And I already know that would be intolerable. You gotta know, Jim, as long as you're around and you'll let me, I'm going with you."

"What?" That last bit stuns Jim into temporary silence as his head whips back around and he stares at the doctor. "Bones, what? You can't come with me if I have to leave with Khan. What about your future? Your career? What about Jo?"

"I'm sorry, are we breaking Khan out of jail now?" Bones asks. "But even if we are, yeah, not getting rid of me again, Jim. You'll find a way to let me visit."

Jim's brows furrow, and he frowns deeply. He doesn't even know what to say to that. It always amazes him how loyal Bones is, and he's absolutely sure he doesn't deserve it, so he gets out of his chair and skirts around the desk so he can wrap the doctor in a tight, needy cling.

Bones wraps his arms just as tightly around his friend and clings like a limpet. "Yeah, that's exactly right, you infant. Whatever you decide, I'm with you. Even if that means Khan, too. I may be mad at him, but you love him, and I'll find a way to make it work."

"Thanks, Bones," Jim chokes out, voice failing him. He never wants to have to put Bones through that. He knows it would be hard on him, would ruin everything he's worked for in Starfleet. 

It takes a bit, but he eventually lets go. He doesn't really feel better about having died, but that's not gonna be a one-day fix. At least it's actually been discussed, and that's an important first step. 

Bones only lets him go so far and says, "Uhura was affected as much as anyone, you know. She actually was there when you died. She saw Spock lose his control. I've never seen her so rattled. You know she's all about her composure. When she and Spock brought Khan back...she hated him, Jim. She still does. And learning that from Spock, well, it's not the best way. Maybe you should tell the others. Personal like. Explain to them all about what you and Khan have been through together. What he does mean to you."

Jim leans against the desk and digs his toe into the floor. He can't blame Uhura for being mad at him. He doesn't think for a minute that she was unaffected by his death. He knows he saw her at least once in the few times he was conscious at the hospital before he was kidnapped. But, still... "You want me to tell them I'm in love with him?"

"At least that you're his friend," Bones says, "and explain why, as much as you can. Let them see that you don't hold it against him. Give them a chance to hear why, from you. They can decide for themselves what they want to do, but I'll bet you almost all of them stick by you. Maybe they won't be Khan's pals from the first day, but maybe they won't be his enemies, either."

"I hope you're right, Bones. I don't know how well I'd do if--" Jim shakes his head. He doesn't want to just leave everybody and escape with Khan. He's a social creature. The Enterprise is his home and her crew is his family.

"Have you talked to Khan about everything, too?" Bones asks. "If he loves you as much as you say, I'm sure he's pretty twitchy about everything that happened between you."

"Why the hell would I want to talk to him about my death?" Jim's had enough nerve-wracking conversations today. He just wants to curl up and sleep for a week.

"You are the most stubborn person I ever met," Bones says, "except for Khan himself. Because you can't just hide things and expect them to be all right. Things happen, like Uhura blowing her top at you. You really think she won't be ashamed of herself later? For telling you to leave the Enterprise, when she knows how much that ship means to you?"

"She's got a valid point, though. I am kind of being a selfish dick," Jim admits, rubbing at his arm. 

"I think that's debatable. You're going to the mat for someone you love," Bones says. "Kinda proves to me he must be worth something."

"I just want him to be okay, no matter what happens." Jim turns away, grabs another slice of pizza, and heads to perch on his bed again, really not needing Bones to study his face too intently right now.

Bones smiles faintly and pours himself another finger of bourbon, knocking it back. "That's kind of a textbook definition of love, isn't it? Wanting someone else's welfare above and beyond everything else." He looks over at Jim and surveys his friend carefully. "He's sitting in prison for you, after all."

Jim ducks his head again. "I know. I _know_. And if I can't at least convince the bridge crew that he deserves a chance, it's going to be for nothing." 

"I just meant that he does seem to love you, too," Bones says slowly. "You are worth it to him. And that speaks to his own ability to be more than what the rest of us thought." He glances at the alcohol and thinks he really has an appalling high tolerance for it if he can still talk like this.

"I'm glad you think so. At least somebody does." Jim bites back into his pizza, knowing he really does have to eat something. Stress and not eating are a recipe for making himself sick, and he doesn't want to do that. 

"Jim, you have to give them time," Bones says, wanting to move to sit by his friend, but knowing to give him room for the moment. "And you need to talk to them, each individually. Same way you did with Spock and I. If they see how much Khan means to you, how much you believe in him, they'll be more willing to give him a chance, too."

Jim takes a breath and nods slightly. "I know. And I will talk to them. Things have just been so busy that I haven't really had a chance. Guess I'm running out of time, now that Uhura knows." 

"Well, you should have known Spock was never going to be to keep it from her," Bones says mournfully. "Vulcans can't lie and all that."

"Yeah, it was kind of inevitable," Jim grumbles. Well, it's one way to kick his ass into action.

"Start with Scotty or Chekov," Bones advises. "The two of them love you. And Scotty was there, too, you know, when you died... he's got kind of strong feelings about Khan, too."

"Yeah. I'll probably start with Scotty. I'm betting he'll be pretty damn strongly opinionated. Not that he isn't normally." Jim sighs.

"But he also is pretty much a one captain man," Bones reminds him. "And he'll listen to you. Ask him to break out his booze and tell him everything. Let him talk to you, too, about all the stuff you hate."

"Alcohol always puts him in a good mood," Jim jokes, though it's not quite as light as it could be. He's still feeling the weight of his doubts. 

"And talking about the Enterprise," Bones says. "So, you can always steer the conversation that way, too." He sees how Jim's shoulders still droop and moves finally to throw an arm over them. "Is he worth the risk?"

"Of course he is. I'm just not sure _I_ am." Jim looks up at his friend and then grabs the back of Bones' shirt to tug him down onto the bed beside him. 

Bones sits down and stares at him. "What the hell are you talking about, Jim? What aren't you worth?"

The risk he's taking. His whole life hinges on this working. He's going through with this for me." 

"Aw, kid," Bones says and tucks him in close. "He wouldn't be doing it, if he didn't think it was worth it. I doubt that jail could hold him for more than a day, if he wanted to break out for real. Nothing could hold him back now."

Jim leans against him, biting at the inside of his lip. "It's hard, being away from him after we spent so much time constantly together."

"It's been hard watching you reach for someone who's not there," Bones admits. "I never thought I'd see the day, but you really do have the look of someone who's gotten used to having a significant other."

"I miss him. Just talking through the comm isn't really doing it," Jim replies, pushing more against Bones for the moral support. 

"There's always transwarp," Bones says, mostly joking, but if his best friend needed to get to Khan that bad, he'd do whatever it took to get him there.

"Yeah, not sure that'd go over so well with Starfleet." Jim just wishes he hadn't been given such a long sentence, but supposes that's part of the test.

"Does it help to talk to him?" Bones asks. "Can you tell him anything?"

"It helps a little, but, uh..." Jim shifts, a little uncomfortable. "Talking really wasn't our main mode of communication." 

Bones makes a face and says, "You can't build a relationship on sex, kid, no matter what you think."

"Don't be an asshole. It's not like that." Jim gives him a look. 

"Then, what is it like?" Bones asks, wanting to know from a mixture of curiosity and desire to support Jim.

Jim thinks for a bit, shifting again. It's weird to have this conversation. "It's just a good way to show how we feel, okay? I mean, I know I'm complete shit at actually talking about that kind of thing. It doesn't mean that's all there is." 

"Does he talk?" Bones asks, thinking with Khan that he could see it go either way. The man has a damned near hypnotic way of speaking, and his words were all well chosen, when he spoke to them before. But with a lover, with Jim...

"He's way better at it than I am," the blond replies, thinking of how easily Khan says he loves him, how easily he voices his affection, even just the way Khan calls him 'my James'. 

Bones sneaks a glance at Jim's face and then asks, without it exactly being a question, "And you like how he speaks to you, don't you?"

God, Bones does have a way of saying things that make Jim feel like a teenager. "Yeah... I do." 

"Then maybe you can call him and just ask him to talk to you?" Bones asks. "I know that hearing from Jo always makes me feel better, even though I'd prefer to get to see her."

Jim licks at his lip and thinks for a moment. "Maybe I'll try that." He'll feel like an idiot, but maybe it really will help.

"And then you'll pull that damned effective James T. Kirk charisma out from where you hide it and persuade everyone that having Khan on the Enterprise is the best damned idea ever," Bones says with complete conviction.

The blond smiles a little. He has to admit that he does feel a little better when Bones says it like that. "They'll all be lining up to dance with him by the time I'm done." 

"You'll have to beat them off with sticks," Bones assures him. "Cept for me, cause I don't poach on my best friend's territory. I'm a gentleman."

Jim snorts. "I think Khan's more worried about you poaching from him," he replies with a laugh. 

"Me?" Bones demands, completely floored. And then his face turns red. "What did you tell him?"

"Khan said I could only get a massage if I picked somebody who was married. I said I'd ask you, and he said he'd allow that 'cause you're not interested and jokingly said I was pretty sure you're straight," Jim admits, a little cheeky.

Bones rolls his eyes and says, "I'm a doctor, infant, and I actually have been trained to give therapeutic massage. And I am straight. And your best friend, who knows better."

"Hey, I wasn't the one impugning your doctor skills." Then there's a pause as Jim registers the information. "Wait, does this mean you'll give me a massage?" 

"Do you need one for health reasons?" Bones demands, looking Jim over for signs of injury or pain. Damn infant never tells him anything.

"I'm kinda stiff. But, hey, if you don't feel like it, that's totally okay." Honestly, Jim's muscles have been stiff ever since that explosion, and it constantly feels like there's something a little out of alignment in his back. 

"You idiot," Bones says with affection. "Come on, let's go to Sickbay, and I'll give you a real massage. All right?"

"Oh, romantic," Jim teases. "Booze and pizza, then a massage? You really do know how to treat a girl." 

Bones snorts and flicks Jim's right ear, but is glad to see his spirits somewhat improved. "Come on, finish up your dinner and then I'll get rid of that stress. After, you can call Khan and make it a real good night."

"Okay. Thanks, Bones." The blond wraps one arm around Bones' shoulders in return and gives him a squeeze. "I'll meet you down in Sickbay in... ten?"

"Nope, I'm sitting here until you finish eating and then dragging you down to Sickbay myself. Understand me, infant?" Bones gives Jim his own one-armed hug.

"Wow. Alright, then." Jim's amused grin wipes away the last of his worries, and he stuffs the remaining quarter of his slice of pizza into his mouth, just because he knows it'll bother the brunet. 

There is the Jim Bones wants to see, but he can't let on. So, he makes a disgruntled noise, grabs Jim by the arm and starts dragging him to the door. "All right, you're done; let's go."

"Bu' 'm s'ill h'ng'y!" the blond whines, nearly tripping over his own feet as his friend tugs him away. 

"You want to eat more?" Bones demands, looking into Jim's face with clear challenge in his eyes.

Shit, Jim thinks. This is definitely a trap. So, he vigorously shakes his head, eyes a little wide.

"Oh, so now you don't," Bone says. "You don't want anymore of the pizza I so thoughtfully brought for you."

"Ff-." Somehow, Jim ended up falling for the trap, anyway. He swallows his pizza and then tugs away so he can go collect up two more slices, already stuffing the better part of one into his mouth before he returns. He raises his eyebrows in a silent question of 'Better?'

Bones laughs softly at Jim and nods. "Let's go then. The sooner you get your massage, the sooner you can call Khan."

Bones gets a happy noise of agreement in return and Jim follows along willingly, finishing off his food on the way and licking the sauce off his fingers. "I didn't know you had actual training in massage therapy." 

"The things you don't know about my, Jimboy, could fill even that genius mind," Bones says with a slight smirk. "Now, shut up and come on. Time's a wastin'."


	7. Night Cap

By the time Jim makes it back to his quarters, he's a happy mess of blond goo and he flops into his bed, head lolling to the side. He's barely got the will to move after Bones put everything back into alignment and loosened his muscles up. The man is a miracle worker. 

Still, Jim wants to call Khan, so he drags his PADD over and connects to the prison, getting redirected to Khan's cell almost immediately. There's no video this time. Instead, Jim's routed it through to an earpiece while he waits for the call to connect. 

Khan answers the unexpected comm and says, "Captain, this is an unexpected pleasure," in a soft, near-whisper. He puts feeling into the phrase, as these calls are the best part of his life right now. 

"Hey, baby," Jim greets, to let Khan know the signal is encrypted once more. Jim's actually kind of surprised that Starfleet hasn't called him about that, but it's entirely possible that they're really not that concerned about it. New Vulcan has actually been having some communication issues with Earth, conveniently enough, but Jim knows if he keeps doing this too often, there will be questions.  
Still, he needs it tonight.

"My James," Khan purrs, affirming their relationship, as soon as he has confirmation that he may. "Are you well? I did not know you planned to call so soon, but am delighted, as always."

"I needed to hear your voice," Jim says, eyes sliding closed. There's a quiet mumble from his side where he pulls the earpiece away so he can order the lights off, but then it's back on again and Jim's senses are filled with nothing more than Khan. "Tell me you love me." 

Khan does not hesitate, though his heart constricts a little at the request. "I love you, my James. If I should lose you, it would my very life to me. Never doubt it." He makes every word a gift with tone, inflection and truth.

Jim's throat tightens, but his heart beats a little faster, too. It feels good to hear it put so plainly and honestly. "I love you, too. It was a shit day, so I needed to hear it. Got amassage from Bones, though," he says, a small smile in his tone. "Pizza, too. That helped."

"Do you wish to tell me about it?" Khan asks, knowing that his lover often found it hard to talk. He feels gratitude toward the human doctor and decides to make sure the man knows the strength of that. Khan will protect this Bones for his friendship and devotion to James. 

"It's okay. Bones talked some sense into me. Besides, just hearing your voice helps." Jim tucks a pillow under his head and works his way out of his clothes before tugging the blankets up and over his head. "Sorry about the lack of video. I know it's probably ungodly late there. Thank God for being a captain, right?"

"It is late here," Khan agrees, "but I hardly keep a normal man's time, do I? I am awake at many hours and asleep at few. I much prefer this to sleep anyway. Your voice is a balm to me, as much as I hope mine is to you."

"It is. I'm lying here naked in the dark under the blankets. Your voice is my everything right now." 

"Indeed," Khan rumbles, drawing out the word in an intimate way. "And why are you naked, my James?"

"Clothes felt like such a burden," Jim replies, a little huskier than intended. He'd taken off his clothes simply for comfort's sake, but now that Khan's purring at him like that, Jim can't help but think about other uses for nakedness. 

"Yes, you deserve to be free of all burdens," Khan murmurs. "Especially when you are wrapped in the velvet darkness of night, away from prying eyes and demanding voices. You can be free of all cares and do whatever you wish. What do you wish, my James?"

"I just want to be close to you again," Jim whispers, a little pained. He misses Khan's touch so keenly right now. 

Khan hushes him with a soft noise, not liking the pain and wanting to soothe it away. "I will be. It will be as you have described. Together, on your lady. Working together by day and sharing your captain's bed all night. I will wrap you close as long as you desire."

Jim listens intently to Khan's voice, pretending it's coming from beside him rather than quadrillions of kilometers away. He pretends he can feel Khan's breath on his neck, Khan's hand on his hip. "I really want that. I'll do whatever it takes." 

"I believe you. And I believe in you," Khan affirms, knowing his James often needs those words, too. He wishes he knew more of whom has wounded his lover, but that is for another time. "You will make it so, if only by the force of your will."

Having Khan believe in him is important to Jim. It's soothing to his nerves and helps him steel his resolve. He will succeed, for the both of them. But for now, he wants his little fantasy. "Tell me what you're going to do to me the next time we're alone together."

"In those first moments, where I know that finally it is you and I without the rest of the universe to intrude, I will indulge my desire to just hold you close," Khan confesses, willing to share this weakness with his James. "I may take off every inch of your clothes and mine, but that will only be because I will not want anything between us. I will bundle us in a cocoon of your bedclothes and press my face into your nape, where you scent most strongly of home and safety, and wish never to be torn from there again."

Jim bundles the blankets a little tighter around himself, remembering the warmth of Khan's body and the way it feels when pressed against his own. "Will you mark me again?" he asks, barely audible. 

"Yes," Khan says, firm and with more than a hint of desire. "I wish to do that immediately, if I am permitted." 

"I'd be more than happy if you bent me over, and sunk your teeth and cock into me at the same time." Jim lets his palm brush over his groin, letting out a quiet huff of air. 

"Oh, you are not satisfied with romance then?" Khan rumbles, amused and a little disappointed. "You wish me to...talk dirty to you?"

"That's not it." Jim shakes his head, even if Khan can't see. He can pick up on that slight tone of disappointment. "Ignore me. I'm a little pent up." 

"I will never ignore you, my James," Khan assures softly. "What do you have need of from me? I want to give to you whatever it is you need."

"The only thing I need is your voice. You're doing good just by talking to me." Jim really doesn't want Khan to get the wrong idea. He didn't call him just for comsex. He really didn't. 

"Your voice is a comfort to me, as well," Khan says, wanting to give back to his lover. "I am warmer for it in my ear, reminding me that there is much to look forward to. And I will reclaim your body, as much as your heart. I do wish that."

Jim smiles a little. "You're not gonna need to reclaim anything. It'll still be yours the next time I see you." 

Khan hums contentment at this answer, but says, "Perhaps I did choose the wrong word. Relearn is more precise. I will touch and caress and explore each part of you, until there is no inch left that does not tingle from my explorations."

Jim squirms happily at that thought, letting his hand slide down his inner thigh. "I'll let you do whatever you want to me, baby." 

"I wish you to want it too," Khan says. "I want every touch to be a joy for you, something longed for and desired. Nothing given just because I alone desire it. I need you, my James."

Jim furrows his brows a little. Why would Khan ever think it was one-sided? "I know. I need you, too. It's lonely over here, even with Bones and Spock. It's not the same." 

Khan makes a noise of discontent and says, "I do not wish you to be lonely. If others can soothe that ache for you..." He doesn't really want James to take advantage, but his lover should not be alone.

"No, I'm not gonna sleep with someone here. That doesn't feel fair to either of us." Even with Khan's permission, it would still feel like cheating. Jim knows how possessive Khan is and that permission would only be given reluctantly. 

"I do not like the thought of you with anyone," Khan says, softly grateful for the answer. "But you are a social creature, my James. This separation is not good for you. And I will make it up as well as I can when I return. Your nape will feel so good and right under my teeth, as I mark you in a way that will never be allowed to fade again."

"The separation isn't good for you, either. It'll be worth it, though. Especially if I manage not to be a whore." It's not easy for Jim, though. It was such a sudden shift from regular sex to no sex at all. His hormones don't really know what to do with themselves.

"You are not a whore," Khan says fiercely, willing to defend James even from himself. "You simply enjoy the companionship of others. Not everyone is as adverse to company as I."

"I'm a whore for you," Jim says simply. 

"No," Khan denies again, even more vehemently this time. "You are my lover. My family. That we desire each other as deeply as we do does not make either of us...whores."

"Okay, okay," Jim acquiesces, not willing to argue about something that wasn't really said with any kind of intent to insult anybody. "You're too classy to be a whore, anyway."

"I have been a whore," Khan answers, voice low and wounded. "I know what that means."

"I'm sorry." Jim bites his lip, cursing himself for his stupidity. "You know I don't think any less of you for anything they forced you to do, right? No matter what it was."

Khan makes a noise of understanding and says, "You use the word differently than I, but the idea of you thinking even slightly unwell of yourself is a pain to me. My desire to be with you physically is deep indeed, but does not surpass how I wish merely to just be in your presence again. That is more important to me."

It amazes Jim sometimes how Khan is so... pure. Jim's a filthy, potty-mouthed, immature sinner by comparison. "Really wish I could go over there and hug you right now." Because of Khan's sentimentality, but also because Jim brought up painful memories that he didn't mean to. 

He knows they "trained" Khan in sex. It didn't seem to bother his lover much, so Jim never really dwelled on it, but he didn't realize that Khan thought of himself as a whore because of it. Maybe not currently, but at one point in time. 

Jim really is terrible at being a good boyfriend. 

Khan would never think of it as being pure, but knows well the difference between the purely physical and what he has with James. And he sees no reason to hide it from James; in fact, he wants his lover to understand how truly he is desired. That is something he has always sensed James lacked and filling that void is something he considers a duty, as well as a pleasure.

But that's all very difficult to convey via comm only.

"I wish you might, as well. This cell chafes me. But we shall make up for it in the end."

"We will. We're a third of the way through." There's shuffling and strange noises as Jim adjusts himself, rolling onto his side and tugging a spare pillow down so he can cling onto it. "That's not too bad."

It is...a start," Khan agrees. "The counselor has not stopped her relentless pursuit to make me angry again. I am weary of her, James. I am weary of being forced to relive the deaths of those I held most dear."

"I'll talk to her," Jim promises. He doesn't like the thought of this women tormenting Khan. There's no reason for it. That's not why she's there. She's supposed to be there to help, and Jim will thoroughly remind her of that. 

"I am grateful," Khan says, the truth of that magnified many times over in his voice, "but I fear she is not the ally you sought for me. I wish very much now that there was someone in this wretched place that I could trust." 

"I'll get it sorted. Don't worry about it." At least now there's a clear goal, a clear way for Jim to help Khan, so that serves to ease some of his tension. As long as there's something specific he can do, he doesn't feel so useless.

"My worries center around you," Khan assures him, "and I look forward to seeing the results of you getting things sorted." Whatever else might be said of James, he seldom does this as expected. Khan truly cannot predict what he may do in this regard. "Are you feeling better, my James?"

Jim's back to smiling again. "Yeah, actually. You tend to have that effect on me. Not sure what it is. Maybe love," he teases.

"That is my fondest hope," Khan says, answering James' teasing with sincerity, as he often does. "But I am glad to have been of assistance, even across these many miles."

"You're good at this. Maybe you should have been a psychologist, instead," Jim muses, starting to feel a little bit sleepy. Sex doesn't seem to be on the agenda, but falling asleep to the sound Khan's voice would be just as good.

Khan laughs at the idea, low and truly amused. "I would be terrible, despite all my claims to be better at everything. My patients would flee from my office for their lives, terrified by my truly deplorable bedside manner."

"You can't be any worse than Bones, and he has psych training," Jim says with a quiet laugh of his own. "The whole ship lives in fear of him and his hypos." 

"He is unique," Khan agrees. "A good friend for you. I...respect him."

"Yeah?" Jim asks, pleased by the news. The more his friends are able to get along, the happier he'll be. 

"Yes," Khan answers. "He was never anything but straightforward with me and protected my family when it was in his power to do so."

"Good! That's good to hear." One best friend down, one best friend to go, although Jim thinks the idea of Spock and Khan being good friends is... probably unrealistic. Still, he'll hope. "Bones's a great guy," he says, words starting to slur a little with sleepiness.

"As are you, my James," Khan says, lowering his voice in hypnotic velvet. "As well as a man who is in need of rest. Close your eyes and listen to my voice. Will you do that, James?"

"Have been," Jim murmurs. "Pretty sure that's the whole problem. When you wanna, your voice is like a sedative. Did you get trained in that, too, or were you just born with it? I swear, you have the sexiest voice I have ever heard, 'n' it's not just bias talking." There's a tiny pause. "I should just shut up 'n' let you do your thing."

Khan chuckles softly and continues in the same tone, "I am glad you find my voice so, my James. It is reserved for you alone now, this tone and the feelings behind it. I wish for you to drift into sleep, knowing that I am yours alone and that in my dreams, I am curled around you, protecting and basking in your presence."

"For some reason, that really makes me feel like we have to go to the beach sometime." The thought of being sprawled on white, warm sands with Khan is incredibly inviting. It's a nice little fantasy that he can sink into. 

Khan laughs again, softer than ever, but just as real. "Your mind is impossible to predict, my James, but I have never been to a beach merely to visit. I will do so happily with you."

"Mm, yeah. We definitely have to go to one sometime. We'll find a nice planet for shore leave and slink off on our own for a while." Jim smiles to himself, tightening his grip on the pillow. "We can bring stuff for a picnic."

"Carefully chosen so you may eat them safely," Khan agrees softly. "I do long for the taste of strawberries. And fresh peaches. The sweet juice that dribbles down your face, so I may clean it off."

"Ask Bones about peaches. He knows how to pick the best ones. S'one of the benefits of being from Georgia, I think? Other than a pretty awesome accent." Jim lets out a heavy, lazy breath, words coming a little slower and quieter. "I like yours better, though." 

"You best prefer mine, for I intend to use it to lull you to sleep and also to arouse you to wakefulness many, many times," Khan says. "But now, rest, James. Sleep and be easy."

"Definitely easy for you, baby," Jim replies, feeling clever. God, he should just sleep and prevent further stupidity. He yawns, burying his face against the pillow. "You'll turn off the call if I start snoring, right?"

"Have you not arranged your pillows to prevent that event?" Khan asks, not saying he might find the sounds soothing. He, too, had trouble finding rest.

"Just me in here. Why would I?" Nope, Jim's going to keep clinging to his pillow that most definitely isn't Khan but will have to suffice anyway.

"I am there with you now," Khan says. "Can you not hear me, my James? Feel my presence, as if I were curled round and near? I can hear you. Sense you."

"Right here," the blond mumbles, more and more muffled by the pillow the closer he gets to sleep. "Love you." 

"And I you, my James," Khan murmurs. "Now sleep and feel me close." He hums softly, the oldest of lullabies, something lost long ago, except that he was alive to remember it again. 

With that constant humming, Khan's voice in his ear, Jim drifts off quickly, dreaming of sunshine and ocean and making love on the beach.


	8. Chapter 8

Khan appreciates the new counselor, a not quite elderly human, serious, but seemingly fair. He appeared one day and announced himself as the replacement for the Betazoid, since that particular doctor-patient relationship was not working out. His questions are not fun, but they don't trigger Khan's anger, either, so the tradeoff seems fair. 

Khan knows James must be responsible for the change and wishes for a call, so he may thank his lover. He feels more likely to succeed right now and that hope makes him a little lighter, a little less lonely.

But the calls remain essential.

It's a few days before Jim can call again, and this time, he doesn't put the scrambler in place. He can't afford to do that every time, so he decides to let Starfleet have their tiny win. 

"Khan," Jim says with a small nod as the call finally gets patched through. "Thought I'd check in on how things are going. Did you get the gift?" Shortly after the last call, Jim shipped off a priority package to Earth: a pair of black, standard-issue Starfleet boxers. Seemingly ordinary, and in most respects they are, except for the fact that Jim was sure to wear them during a quick wank before he sent them off. He's pretty sure they thoroughly smell like him. Khan will understand the purpose of them, though the security guards will simply think they're a practical gift. If slightly bizarre.

"I have been allowed both of your gifts," Khan says with a smile. "I thank you, Captain, for them both. Your latest did cause some strange comments, however. Few prisoners are gifted with undergarments. They did not know what to make of such a gift." His smile makes it clear that he understands. The briefs are beneath his pillow, the scent a bit more distracting than soothing, but the intent is appreciated.

"You're welcome. I don't imagine the boxers you get there are particularly comfortable. Figured you'd appreciate some of the more basic luxuries." It's as good an excuse as any. Jim's just happy Khan got them. The tea, too. It ought to make life a little easier. "Other than that, how are things going?"

"They are better," Khan says, "as perhaps the more recent reports on my rehabilitation indicate. I presume you are responsible for my new counselor and would like to thank you, Captain. I believe progress can be made now."

"Good. That's the most important thing. I'm going to need you in top shape when you get here." Not that Jim is a hundred percent sure yet that the crew will accept him. He's working on it, though. Progress has been made. 

Khan snorts and says, "Top shape, indeed, Captain. To make up for your own lack?"

Jim snorts, but he smirks anyway, amused. "Hey, now. You won't be able to talk to me like that when you're on my ship."

"I shall be the model of Starfleet decorum...like you," Khan agrees, flashing a true smile. He is much more relaxed now, not trusting, no, never, but not on edge as before.

"Yes. Follow my lead and you'll do just fine," the blond jokes, picking up on Khan's improved mood. It's good to know that the recent changes have had a positive effect and that at least things on that side are going better. It lessens some of Jim's worry and eases his own stress levels. 

"I am not fully comfortable yet, but there have been no deliberate provocations so far," Khan says, studying James' face intently, as he always did when they were on a call. "I wondered if you might be interested in reading the first journal I wrote...the one on my crew."

Jim's eyebrows raise, but he keeps his voice fairly neutral, filled with scientific, rather than personal, interest. He knows Khan will see through the lie. "I'd like that very much."

"It took me somewhat longer than 72 days to write," Khan says. "Considerably more, indeed. Some of the entries were difficult. But the counselor feels they should be shared. I am not sure I agree, but I do not mind if you see them...Captain."

"It spreads their legacy." Jim smiles a little. "If they were anything like you, I think they'd want to be remembered by as many people as possible." 

Khan considers this and then shakes his head a few times, expression sad and a long-way off. "We are remembered, but as monsters. Peace I think would be preferable. To be the forgotten dust, like most people."

"I don't think you're a monster," Jim immediately replies, disliking the hurt in Khan's tone. 

"You are a kind man, Captain," Khan says, which is as close to saying 'I love you' as he can get. "However, I have read the history books, and there are few that delve much into the complicated issues of augments. But the winners write the histories."

"Nothing saying you can't write a book of your own to set the record straight, you know." Actually, Jim thinks that might be good therapy in and of itself, in addition to offering another viewpoint on the current, undoubtedly biased account of history. 

Khan makes a strangely complicated noise, but shakes his head firmly. "The past is dead, except for me. When I am gone, the augments can truly be forgotten. Let humanity have their victory. They have done well by it in the end."

Jim sets his chin on his hand and looks at Khan for a long moment. "Okay." It's not Jim's place to argue the point. Khan is the last surviving member of his people, so he's the only one with any right to make this decision. 

Khan offers a weak smile, more an approximation than anything else. "I thank you for the thought. Perhaps I will add some things to Starfleet's history, just so they may know more of the truth."

"Better to know the truth than it is to be blinded by lies." Not that Jim really thinks history will ever truly be corrected, but at least some people can be enlightened. 

"Yes, I have learned that the hard way," Khan agrees. "But enough of this depressive discussion. What news from your journeys, Captain?"

His trials with talking to Scotty and Chekov aren't really something to be discussed on an open line. Jim wouldn't be able to share without crossing over into something that might compromise them, so he simply shakes his head. "Nothing much to report. Lots of filling in forms and working down in the heat. New Vulcan is damn hot, as you might have imagined. I'm getting a tan line." 

"You are still there?" Khan asks. "I thought you would at least be moving back and forth between places more often." He tilts his head, wishing they did not have to be so damned formal Something in James' tone is off, and he cannot ask.

"We're making a trip to Earth next week. Part of our orders, though, are to help with a lot of the unloading and construction. And, basically, with whatever else the Vulcans ask us to. We're at their disposal." It truly is a penance of sorts, although the Vulcans are grateful to him for bringing back many of their loved ones. 

"At least I've had plenty of opportunities for tea with Spock," Jim adds. 

"The other Spock?" Khan asks. "The one from a place never to be?" He wishes to meet this other Spock, especially after his encounter with James' First Officer. "Of what do you speak, Captain, over these teas?" He wonders if this other Spock knows the truth of them.

Jim nods at the first question, and then he says, "Everything." It's said with a casual shrug, not wanting to seem suspicious. 'Everything' has a lot of connotations, though. Jim feels he can share as much with the older Spock as he can with the younger Spock, and probably even more. The older one isn't as quick to judge and he's more sympathetic. It's kind of comforting. 

"I hope he is a sympathetic ear, Captain," Khan says, asking without asking if that Spock approves of them. Or at least, does not try to persuade James to give him over. He will settle for that at this juncture.

"He's a good friend. I can trust him," the blond replies as a way to assuage Khan's fears. Sure, the older Spock informed him of all the reasons why this might be a bad idea, but once he understood that Jim was adamant, he'd given up on trying to persuade him otherwise and instead focused on giving him advice on how to cope with the potential difficulties. 

"Then that is well," Khan says, feeling somewhat more contented. James has a loyal family, strange though they may be. Khan's ability to ever fit in is dubious, but they will support their Captain anyway.

"Though, I mostly let him have the tea. I'm usually too overheated for anything other than water. I don't know how Vulcans do it," Jim says with a laugh. 

"They are, after all, built for a desert setting, Captain, while you were raised somewhere vastly different," Khan says. "Still, I find much of their cuisine quite bland."

"They can't taste much, you know," Jim muses. "Sense of smell isn't very good, so it affects how much they can taste."

"They make up for it with their hearing and sight," Khan says. "But they are not blessed with senses that are all heightened, as I am."

"Can you taste better? I guess if your smell is heightened, that makes sense." Jim nods a little, pondering on this. Does that mean Khan can taste everything in Jim's come? That's embarrassing.

"Yes, I have a very well developed sense of taste, along with everything else," Khan says. "Why would you not think that, Captain?"

"I just said I did think that. It's just not something I would've focused on, that's all." 

Khan sighs and stretches, saying, "I fear prison food is even more bland than it would be otherwise. There are times when being augmented is not an advantage."

"Sorry. I know it can be terrible, but if it makes you feel any better, replicated food on Starfleet ships isn't that great, either." Jim will just have to ship Khan some goodies when he goes to visit Earth.

"It gives me great comfort to know the food will not be improving," Khan says dryly. "Thank you, Captain."

"At least you'll know I'm not feasting while you're suffering?"

"I would prefer if you were," Khan says. "I would have something to look forward to." He lowers his eyelids. "Something more, I should say. I do not wish to imply that I do not long for the day when I may leave this place."

"Hey, you'll still get to sample plenty of exotic foods while we're off exploring. That's part of the fun." At least, it is when you're not plagued by allergies up the wazoo.

"I am humbly grateful, Captain, that you will allow me such a privilege," Khan says, teasing in his tone.

"You'll be my tester to make sure nothing is poisoned," Jim retorts with a smirk. 

"I can easily feast on that which would kill you," Khan remarks with an equal smirk.

"Good. So you're perfect for the job. You're hired."

"You will have to consult with my current employers first," Khan says with a roll of his eyes toward the front of his cell. "They are rather picky about what I may do."

"I will soon enough. Don't worry about that." Jim covers his mouth to hide a yawn. It kind of sucks that he has to make these calls so late. "Just gotta be patient."

Khan sighs a little at the sign of James' tiredness, feeling completely awake himself. "Shall you call again, Captain?"

"Don't I always? 'Course I'll call again," Jim replies with a smile. 

Khan returns the smile with one of his own, genuine, if not large. "I like the reassurance, Captain. When one is alone and near friendless, the small things are what matters."

"You'll get more friends eventually. The Enterprise's crew are great people. I think you'll like them."

"Until such time, Captain, I have but you," Khan says. "I am thankful. I do not know if I tell you that enough."

"You don't have to. I know." 

"Do you?" Khan asks, voice falling an octave into something much more intimate, all they can manage on an open channel.

Jim smile brightens. "Yeah. I do." He wants to say more, but he can't. Maybe the next call.

"That is all I can ask for then...unless you can persuade Starfleet to allow me a few more books," Khan says. "I have gone through all of the ones I have multiple times."

"If you're satisfied with digital ones, I can get you a library of something like 2500 books." He knows Spock has a massive book collection on his PADD. That wouldn't be hard to pack onto a storage chip and ship to Khan. With Spock's permission, of course. 

"That would give me more to do, though I prefer actual books to those on computer," Khan says. "I understand the advantage, of course, but the aesthetics are not as pleasing."

"I know, but I can't send you that many books in paper version," Jim laments. "You'll have to live with digital and then when you get a more permanent posting on the Enterprise, you can collect as many books as you want." 

"I doubt that," Khan says. "The Enterprise is not that large."

"Excuse you," Jim says with an offended gasp. "Don't insult my lady." 

"I did not, Captain," Khan assures him. "An entire palace was not enough for all the books I collected once. I hope they were preserved."

"I'd have liked to peruse your collection. I bet you had all the classics."

"I did," Khan says with a mournful expression, "and many rare books, as well. All cultures and languages and ages. It was the largest library ever assembled."

"Wow. Sounds like a hell of a sight. I'm sorry you lost that." Jim thinks that's a damn shame, but there's probably no way to track where those books went. 

"I merely hope the books were not destroyed, but distributed," Khan says.

Jim thinks for a bit and bobs his head in a sleepy nod. "Pretty sure the days of book burning were finished with by then, so I bet they were put into some library or museum somewhere."

"There was great anger at augments, so I am not sure how our residences were treated at our overthrow," Khan says, but shakes off the thoughts with a shrug. "Digital will suffice."

"Okay. I'll get right on that. Should be there in a few days," the blond replies and then rubs at his eye. "I don't want to, but I should get to bed."

"Yes, rest, Captain," Khan says. "You never know what adventure may await tomorrow, given your history."

"Hey, it's not that bad..." But it is, and Jim knows it. 

Khan snorts and says, "You are a trouble magnet, Captain. Everyone knows that."

Jim makes an indignant noise. "Not everyone. The new recruits are clueless." 

Khan lifts an eyebrow and says, "The way your Starfleet trumpets your name all over the planet, I call your lie."

"Shut up. Don't badmouth your captain," Jim retorts. 

"Badmouth?" Khan retorts. "Is that what I am doing, Captain?" He mocks the last word, but playfully, not at all in the sneering way he once did.

"You know perfectly well what I'm doing. Now stop distracting me. I gotta go sleep or I won't be able to get up in the morning," Jim chides. 

"You are the one who can end the call with a button, Captain," Khan says, but there is true amusement in his eyes. "Rest well. I look forward to our next call."

"Same to you." Jim almost calls him 'baby', but stops in the nick of time. "Good night." He finally disconnects the call and crawls into his bed, comforted by having talked to Khan.


	9. A Slip of the Tongue

Khan is actually asleep when the comm sounds and wakes at once, moving quickly to answer. He has not heard from James in several days and worries about his lover. Though he knows James is unlikely to be in danger on New Vulcan, he nonetheless dislikes when days go by without word. He activates the screen and smiles when James' face appears, though he looks worn around the edges. "Captain?" he asks, testing if the scrambler is on.

"Baby," Jim greets, sounding a little ragged, too. Working in the heat really drains his energy, and he refuses to work a minute less than any of his crew. Bones has given him shit a few times already for working double shifts. He knows he shouldn't be using the scrambler, but he really needs to unwind. Khan's his best way of doing that. 

"My James," Khan purrs at him and looks him over carefully, making sure his lover can see the concern in his eyes. "How are you? You look more than a little worn."

"47-degree daytime temperatures'll do that to a guy." Jim sets the PADD against the headboard of his bead and flops down on his belly, tucking his pillow under his chin. "How about you? How have you been?"

"Why is the captain working in the heat?" Khan asks. "Especially to his own detriment. You should take better care of yourself, my James." He touches the screen lightly, a gesture that cannot be mistaken for anything other than affection for the person on the other side.

Jim touches his fingers to his own screen, longing for that connection. It's so lonely here without him, and he's sure Khan feels the same. "Limited crew, lots of cargo. Bones has been busy dealing with heat stroke and Spock is reconnecting with his heritage, I think. He's been visiting his father. Can't say I blame him."

"You are trying to become another one of your Bones' patients," Khan scolds softly. "Do try at least not to wear yourself out so much. I hate to see you so like a lobster. Can you not at least remember to wear your sunblock?"

"It gives me hives," Jim says ruefully. "It's alright. He's giving me some fortified water thing." He reaches off to the side and grabs a bottle to show to Khan. "Gotta drink it all before I go to bed."

"I wish I were there with you," Khan says softly. "I could take on the job of many of your crew...if you would allow. And make sure you do not wear yourself out." 

"Of course I'd allow it." The blond grins a little, but it's not got quite as much pep to it, even though he's still happy. "Maybe if you were all tuckered out and I still had energy, it'd even the playing field in the bedroom." 

Khan snorts in a way that clearly says James is dreaming. "I look forward to you trying. It shall be great fun." He trails his fingers down the screen and drops that hand to his lap. 

"Don't underestimate me." Jim squirms his way under the blankets and then peers at Khan from under them. "I might surprise you."

"You never cease to surprise me," Khan says and watches him hide under the covers. "Is there something I can do for you James?" 

"A massage. Bones is good, but I want your hands on me," the blond whines, giving Khan a pleading look even though he knows there's nothing the Augment can do about it. 

Khan hates not being able to help his James and says, "As soon as we are together again, my James. Is there nothing I can do for you now?"

Jim thinks about that. They're both tired and there's limited time and he still feels kinda stupid about the last time he hinted at doing... other things, so he shifts a little, hesitating. "Just talking to you is good."

"Things are going better now, I believe," Khan says. "I find it easier to talk to this new counselor, though not a simple task. He is more sympathetic somehow, but not unprofessional. And he does not demand things of me."

"Dr. Boyce is a good man. And his brownies are to die for," Jim says with a smile, legitimately happy that Khan's getting along with his new counselor. He figured Boyce would be a good fit and likely the only person with the endless patience needed to deal with someone like Khan. 

"You do know him," Khan says and smiles in a way that lights his ice eyes. "Thank you, James. I knew somehow that his presence was more than just a request for someone new."

"He was Pike's CMO, but I don't think he blames you directly for that. I talked with him for a long time before I decided he could do this without bias." 

"He is more of your family?" Khan asks softly. "I should speak to him of that day...but perhaps not until I am sure he won't realize that you told me about him."

"Boyce is a big boy. I'm sure he could handle it, and it'll be easier to bring it up by talking about me first before you segue into what happened. I think he misses all the times I used to break into his office and steal his baked goods. I swear he left them in there because he knew I'd eat them. Always made them allergy-safe." Jim has such fond memories of Boyce, even if he didn't serve with the man. Pike had made the introductions and Jim had decided he liked the guy and stuck on like a stubborn barnacle. 

"You do enjoy referring to people as large children," Khan observes, liking his doctor the more for treating his James with kindness. He knows his lover did not know a lot of it before Starfleet. "I would not mind a brownie, though I have never had one. Anything to break the monotony of prison food."

"Mostly 'cause they are," Jim replies, though he has no illusions about his own level of maturity. "Maybe he'll give you a batch of brownies as a parting gift when you're free. I know I'm gonna beg for one." 

"He will give them to you without the begging," Khan says, not wanting James to beg anyone for anything, even brownies.

"What if I get more if I beg? It's the better option." Jim's already starting to drool at the memory of those brownies. 

"I did not know that chocolate was also worth that much to you," Khan says. "Are his brownies truly that magical?"

"Yes, and they don't even have drugs in them," comes the immediate reply. 

"Brownies with drugs in them," Khan says and nods slowly. "I remember reading of that in history. I did not know it was still a practiced custom."

"Please, any time you get a lot of kids in their teens and early twenties in one place, there's going to be drugs." Jim laughs.

"And I am certain you took your share," Khan says, disapproval in the words. He does not like the idea of James messing himself up that way. Any way.

"A few. Not as much as some." The blond shrugs a little, not thinking it's that big of a deal. He never took anything that would affect his academic life, but every once in a while he'd get offered a hit of something in conjunction with sex and he'd take it. 

"Indeed," Khan says. "You shall never take anything knowingly again." He cannot help the order. He will not see James endangered in any way.

Jim doesn't take well to orders and his instinctive reaction is to narrow his eyes. "I can make my own decisions about that." 

Khan hisses his annoyance and says, "You can be a damn hypocrite, Captain."

"I don't need to be ordered not to take drugs that would fuck up my system. I'm not stupid," Jim growls right back. 

"You already confessed that you have taken them," Khan says, not at all placated. 

"A few times, and it was never anything addictive." Jim rolls his eyes. Khan must think he's a complete idiot.

Khan snarls once down the line and says, "Oh, of course, as your judgement has always been so impeccable." 

The blond visibly bristles at that. "Pretty damn sure it's better than yours."

"Since I fell in love with you, you may have a point," Khan sneers right back.

Jim stares at him, expression blanking out. "Wow, we're going there, are we? Fine. Fuck you, too." He shuts off the comm without another word, knocks his PADD off the bed and onto the floor, and pulls the blankets further over his head. Sleep isn't going to come easy tonight, that's for sure. 

Khan stares at the blank screen for a long moment and then makes an angry noise, directed mostly at himself. He barely refrains from smashing in the machine, but moves away instead, curling up in the corner. He buries his head in his knees and just sits there until morning.


	10. Chatter

It's two weeks before Jim calls again, and it's not even entirely of his own volition. They'd just shipped back into space from a day-long cargo pickup at Earth, and when that passed without Jim escaping to go see Khan, Bones knew there were issues. 

So, long story short, the doctor practically locked Jim in his room with threats of unpleasant vaccinations if he didn't resolve whatever the hell issue with Khan had been making him more miserable than his ex-wife, Jocelyn, for the past two weeks. 

After his last disastrous conversation with James, Khan falls into a dark mood that he cannot find escape from. Dr. Boyce continues to visit and remains kind, an ear that Khan is grateful for. He is the only thing that keeps life from becoming unbearable, as Khan reluctantly comes to regard him as a friend.

James does not call. Khan wishes not to apologize by cold, written letter, but day after day goes by without any word. And when Dr. Boyce mentions that the Enterprise is docked at Earth, Khan's despair turns to cold fury. He cannot apologize to James when the man will not even give him a chance. Well, the chance has passed. He has yearned desperately to see James again when he returned to Earth, but the man let the opportunity go by without even a word. 

When the comm sounds, Khan rises slowly from his position in the corner of his cell to answer. "Captain," he says neutrally, as Kirk's face appears on the other screen. "I trust you are well."

"Khan," Jim says, even though he's turned on the scrambler again. There's too much risk of the tension between them making them say things not fit for Starfleet's ears. He wants to ask if Khan got the package he sent while he was on Earth -- candies and those books he promised -- but his pride refuses to let him admit that he even sent such a thing. So, instead, simply says, "Well as I can be."

Khan sits down and assumes a completely innocuous position, giving nothing away. "Did something go wrong during your trip to Earth? I would have thought the visit would have done you and your crew well." 

Jim shrugs. "Wasn't much time for anything other than getting the cargo. We weren't there for shore leave."

"A shame," Khan says. "Your Starfleet should treat you better. How long will you be at New Vulcan this time? Please take care of yourself on this trip...if I am permitted to request that of you." 

"A month," Jim replies, trying to keep the frown off his face. "Bones has already given me shit about working too hard, so..." He trails off, leaving it at that, though it's implied that Khan is therefore relieved of that particular duty.

"He is a good friend," Khan says, refusing to show that he is stung by the dismissal. "I am glad he is there to look after you." 

"It was one of my less-stupid decisions to let him come along," Jim says, tone clipped, but then he sighs. "How's it going with Boyce?"

"Dr. Boyce is a good man," Khan says, "and under other circumstances, would have made a good friend. As it is, he is a good doctor. I do not know if he believes I am a good patient. He does not tell me such things. Nonetheless, I am hoping he at least does not recommend permanent solitary confinement." 

Jim shakes his head, knowing Boyce wouldn't do that, not even to Khan. "Solitary confinement isn't a therapy."

Khan sighs and says, "Captain, as grateful as I am for a chance to talk to someone who is not Dr. Boyce and myself, if you wish to cease these calls, you merely have to say so."

The blond tamps down his urge to bristle once more. "And why the hell would I do that?"

"It has been two weeks, Captain," Khan says, "without a word. Our argument was unfortunate, yes, and I regret the foolishness that prompted it. And for days, I would have been willing to beg your forgiveness." He snorts softly at his own foolishness. "But days turned to weeks turned to your visiting Earth without even the pretense of wishing to see me. Whatever misguided sense of honor leads you to contact me now, I merely want you to be free of. I will not beg for what is not there."

"Hey, you're the one that said it was a mistake to fall in love with me," Jim spits out, unable to keep his anger in check. "So, yeah, I'm gonna be pissed off at you. The fuck did you think would happen?"

"That you would be angry for a few days and then at least allow me the opportunity to apologize," Khan says with quiet patience. "I cannot contact you, as you know." 

"Bullshit. You could have sent me a letter, and you know it. Even if it were nothing else except 'I'm sorry', that would have been good enough. So, 'scuse me that it took a while for me to calm down." Jim glares at the Augment, and that irritatingly calm face just makes Jim that much more annoyed. 

"A letter," Khan says and then scrapes a hand through his hair, tidying what is already neat. "Very well. I am sorry, as I said before. I spoke in anger, as is my wont. It was cruel and untrue." He resents quietly that he bears the brunt of this, as he always seems to with James. 

Jim regards him quietly for a while, then lets out a slow breath, deciding to accept the apology. "Okay. And I'm sorry I didn't come visit you. I didn't want to start a fight where anyone could see. I did get you some things, though. Sounds like you didn't get them yet."

Khan inclines his head in quiet acceptance of the words, if not feeling the truth behind them. In that, perhaps, they were equal at the moment. "Thank you. I did miss your visit. Perhaps some other time." He manages a slight smile at the thought of receiving a package, anything to break up the boredom of his life. "I fear the prison system is still slow in that regard. I hope you kept a list of what I am supposed to get to ensure nothing was removed."

"One is the chip of books I promised. The others are a surprise." Jim does sort of feel like an ass now for not going to see Khan, but it's true that he didn't want to cause a scene where Starfleet might pick up on it. 

"Thank you, Captain," Khan says with true gratitude now. "I have been hoping for the reading material. As much as real books would be nice, the sheer volume on a chip will help the hours pass more swiftly." 

"You don't have to call me 'captain' right now," Jim says, not wanting the formality. It makes the distance between them seem that much wider.

Khan hesitates and then says, "I grow weary of this cell. Dr. Boyce is still looking to get permission for me to use the outdoor facilities. Starfleet is not that will to trust me as of yet. I am not sure how I might convince them I will not try and escape at this time. I will just have to continue waiting." He huffs an unamused laugh. 

"If anybody can get you permission, it's Boyce. He's well-respected, and he's got a way with people." Jim really does hope that Khan gets out of his cell. Having some space to roam would do him good. 

Here, Khan might make a joke about the doctor's magic brownies, a way to diffuse some of the tension between them. If he trusted that it would do so. On the thin, uncertain ice that he is, Khan merely nods once and says, "And I must attempt to cultivate even more patience." Ugh, this conversation is wearing on him, nothing like the relief he is used to finding from their calls. 

Jim's not really liking the overall tone of the conversation any more than Khan is. It doesn't really make him want to turn this call into a long one. "Everybody could stand to have a little more patience. Except maybe Boyce."

But maybe now is not the time for patience. Khan opens his mouth to say Captain, but stops himself. Instead, he finds a deep breath and his softest tone, the one of velvet and honey and deep, bone weariness. "Why did you call me?"

Jim licks at his lower lip and then bites it, flicking his eyes downward. "Bones got sick of me being a miserable ass."

And oh, it hurts to hear that Khan would have gone on alone without the interference of Dr. McCoy. Still- "I do not wish you to be miserable. If I am the one making you miserable...well, I would like to cease at that."

"Just... don't order me around like I don't know what I'm doing." Jim hates that. It's one thing he can't tolerate and has never been able to tolerate. He's fiercely independent and having people treat him like he's too stupid to make his own decisions grates on his nerves like nothing else. "Trust me."

Khan fights back everything in him that wants to roar back at James in incandescent fury. Trust him? What else is he doing, sitting here in jail, alone and unwanted in a world that is cold and unfamiliar? All of his instincts, his deepest sense of self and self-respect, all of those things he has sacrificed for the chance that he may be allowed (allowed, the fucking gall of it) quasi-freedom on the Enterprise to be with James. He has put all his trust in James and Starfleet for that one flicker of happiness in a place he does not belong. The unbelievable hypocrisy of the man! 

And what of it? What if in a moment of frankly stupid worry over some of his lover's actions, Khan had bitten off a demand of him? Jim could have said 'sure' and then blown it off. It's not like Khan could do anything about it, trapped here. 

But what's the point? Another fight? More weeks of silence that make time drag even more than usual. Khan knows when he's beaten. 

"No, of course not," Khan says. "I will not make that mistake again."

Jim wants a different kind of trust. He knows Khan trusts him to come back for him like he promised, but wants Khan to trust that Jim at least knows enough to not completely fuck himself over with some stupid decision like taking an addictive substance. It doesn't speak well of Khan's opinion of him if the Augment thinks he needs to order Jim not to do it. 

But apologies have been made, so he supposes it doesn't matter any more. 

Still Khan's tone makes it sound like Jim's asked him to gut himself and wave his innards around in the hallway, so the blond closes his eyes, seeking some patience of his own. 

"You know, you make me happy a lot more than you make me miserable."

"That is ever my intention," Khan says quietly. "That you feel the need to reassure me of that point is not very encouraging. But I appreciate the words, just the same." 

"We'll work through this, just like we work through everything else," Jim replies, leaning back in his chair. 

Khan shrugs off the words internally, unconvinced by them. "I honestly did not mean offense; I am guilty only of worrying stupidly about you." And more fool he.

"I know, baby," the blond says softly. "I should've just taken your worry for what it was."

Khan asks, "I am your baby still?" uncertain in a way that pains him.

"Yeah, you are," Jim affirms with a nod of his head. 

Since there is nothing else to hang on to in this future, Khan finds himself willing to try and accept that, as dubious as he is about the truth of it. "I am glad. And I do worry. Especially when I am so far from you." 

Jim smiles a little. "I'm halfway through this probation. I should have a month near the end of your sentence where I'll be able to visit. That's not so long away, right? I'll be just fine until then." 

"It's a long way off still," Khan says, "but I will try to have patience. And faith." His mouth wavers into a slight frown. "I do not have much in the way of faith."

Guess I'll just have to make sure I prove your skepticism wrong whenever possible, then." Jim scratches at the slight stubble on his chin. "Shouldn't be too hard."

Khan makes a disgruntled noise that may remind Jim of his best friend. "Shall I hear from you more often then?"

Jim nods again. "Yeah. I'll call again once we arrive at New Vulcan."

"You do not have to go now, do you?" Khan asks.

"No, I don't. I can stay and talk for a bit longer. My bedtime isn't for another twenty minutes." 

"Bedtime?" Khan asks with a small smile. "Are you keeping to a curfew? That is unlike you."

Jim smirks a little. "I'm keeping the spirit of the curfew. Bones says I need more sleep, but he's always saying that, so to make him happy, I'm pretending I'm asleep by 2300." 

"Then you can continue to speak to me," Khan concludes and touches the screen. "If you wish."

"I do wish." The blond touches his screen in return, kicking himself now for not taking the risk and visiting when he had the chance. 

Khan shuts his eyes, clear relief on his features. "I have missed you. I have dreamed of these conversations, that is how much I rely on them now." His mouth quirks slightly. "Perhaps I will be better when I have seen the sun again. The sky. I miss them, too."

"You can have some of my sun. I've been getting entirely too much of it lately," Jim quips. 

Khan cringes back internally from the way James pushes away serious topics and bites back the urge to snarl at him for how well he obviously can't take care of himself. Instead, he offers the blandness smile and says, "If you can persuade the sun to shine through these walls, I will happily indulge in some." He leans back and composes himself to indulge in some meaningless chatter...but even that is so, so much better than the alternative.


	11. BFF

Bones rings at James' door about an hour before his shift, knowing the captain prefers to get up at the last possible minute. He seldom eats any breakfast, so at least this way, Bones'll get him fed for once. He rings again and then enters his override, opening the door to the captain 's quarters. "Rise and shine, sleepyhead!"

"Unnnnnngh," comes the groan from under Jim's pillow, strands of blond hair poking out. "M'naked. Go away."

"Nothing I haven't seen before, kid," Bones says with a snort. "Now get your ass out of bed and wash up for the day. We're going to talk. So, don't make me pull the covers off you and dump cold water on your head." 

There's another groan, but Jim finally tugs the covers aside and drags himself sluggishly out of the bed, not at all caring what kind of a view Bones gets. Won't be the first or last time. 

He stumbles for the bathroom with a giant yawn, and shortly after, there's the sound of the shower running. There might even be singing. Something about peaches. Unfortunately, Jim's even more tone deaf when he's still not quite awake. 

The shower doesn't last long, and once Jim's dried off and brushed his teeth, he comes back out of the bathroom, still completely naked, and heads for his closet. "I'm guessin' you don't want to talk about the weather." 

Bones sets the breakfast out as Jim washes, smiling a little at the howls from the shower. They mean his friend is happy, and he can think of only one reason for that. He has made up with his lover, his Khan. And as strange a thought as that one is, Bones cannot deny the results. 

"You called Khan. Talked to him. Made up," Bones says. 

"Wow, that's creepy," Jim replies as he sits down and pops the corner of a piece of toast into his mouth. 

"You were yowling in the shower," Bones says with a smirk. "I remember what that means." He sits across from Jim and takes a gulp of his coffee. "Everything well again?" 

"Shut up. It was musical genius," Jim chides, but then he smiles. "Yeah. We fixed things. I think..."

Bones grins back, unable to help it, always finding Jim's happiness catching. "Yeah, I guess I did. Is it a long term fix, Jim? Will you two be able to avoid fighting in the future, you think?"

Jim shrugs a little. "Nobody avoids fighting, Bones. We'll be good for a while, and we'll butt heads again and then we'll make up. Hopefully there won't be any more fighting until I can actually see him again." And really, he isn't completely sure about the current situation. Khan never did call him James...not once in all their conversation. And it'd never strayed beyond the mundane...but he isn't ready to admit that to Bones. And he honestly does feel better about everything.

"Yeah, normal amounts of fighting are expected. Maybe even a little extra, given who you two are, but try to keep it to that, huh? You being miserable for two weeks was not pleasant for anyone. But now, you look better than ever."

"Pretty sure you still had me beat in the crabbiness department," Jim teases, stuffing more food into his mouth. Last night was definitely the best sleep he'd had in a while.

"Oh no," Bones says with a firm shake of his head. "You had Chekov cowering the other day, over a simple error. Nobody snaps at Pavel." 

"I'll make it up to him," the blond assures. He does feel bad about that. Chekov never deserves to be yelled at.

"I know you will," Bones says, "and he knows it, too. He's a good kid. He understands that you've been having a rough time of it lately. You told him about Khan?"

Jim nods. "He took it pretty well, actually." Not that it's particularly surprising. Chekov's a ridiculously tolerant kid. 

"I think he might be a good person to start Khan off with in terms of someone for him to interact with," Bones says. "Pavel is good-hearted, soft spoken and a genius. He'll be someone easy for Khan to be around, not demanding or harsh."

Jim ponders on that for a bit. "That's an idea, yeah. S'long as we take it slow, he'll eventually fit in. He's got Spock's sense of humor, Scotty's brilliance with engines, and your grumpiness." 

Bones gives Jim the evil eye and pulls a hypospray out of what appears to be thin air. "You've been neglecting yourself for a few weeks. It's time for a few more vitamin shots."

"Holy shit," Jim backs up so fast, he nearly knocks his chair over. He holds his hands up in a submissive gesture. "No. No, that's okay."

"Want to revise your previous statement, junior?" Bones asks, hypospray still at the ready.

"You're only proving how cranky you are, you know that, right?" Jim keeps his guard up, knowing how fast Bones can move with those needles when he wants to. 

"Get your ass back in this chair and eat your damn breakfast," Bones says and makes the hypospray disappear again. He shovels in some of his oatmeal, which is well flavored with honey. Jim has been allowed pancakes and two eggs, and Bones pushes forward a small platter and opens it to reveal bacon. 

"Ooh, bacon!" That lures Jim back to his seat in record time, and he sits down, reaching right away to stuff one of those tasty strips into his mouth. 

Bones knows Jim all right and watches him eat for a second. "I'm not sure he'll ever fit in, but I think he can at least not disturb the crew. They're liable to be upset at first, but if we can ease Khan and them into it, this may all work out." He waits until Jim is contentedly chewing on his bacon, all relaxed, and then reaches out and gives him a hypospray of vitamins to the neck.

"STOP IT!" Jim rubs at his neck and twists to give Bones a glare. At least the attack serves to distract him from the depressing thought of Khan never fitting in.

"You needed it," Bones says, unimpressed by the yell. He pushed the bacon closer to Jim, a peace offering. "I've been reading Dr. Boyce's reports. Khan is getting better or at least, he's opened up some and hasn't had any attacks of violence for awhile. Even when he was fighting with you, he never lashed out at anyone. He's not well by any means, but the violence seems contained. And that's a good thing."

"It's not like he's unable to control himself," Jim grumbles, automatically coming to Khan's aid. He dislikes it when people talk about the man as if he's some beast that's all feral instinct with no capability for rational thought. 

Bones cannot stop another smile. "Jesus, the way you love him. I never loved Jocelyn that much. And I loved her plenty." He sips more coffee, looking happier than he ever does in the morning.

Jim palms his hand over his face to conceal his blush and then digs into his pancakes. "Shut up. You're making it sound like a chick flick." 

"Don't be such a prejudiced ass," Bones chides lightly. "I try to compliment his progress, and you snap right to his defense for a perceived insult. I didn't say that he was incapable of controlling himself. He just didn't bother before; he does now. It means there's something important enough to change his behavior for. And that's all you, Jimmy."

Jim chews his pancake as he rubs at the back of his neck, slightly embarrassed. He's glad that Khan's changed for the better, but he's not sure he should be taking credit for that. There had to be some will on Khan's part to make the change in the first place. "All I did was give him a chance."

"And your friendship and then more," Bones says, "and when you give something, kid, you don't skimp. I don't think he's doing better than he would have if they'd let you stay with him, though." 

"All I can hope is that being away from me means that he'll be better able to control himself if I'm not right there with him. I can't watch him all the time, and I shouldn't have to, either." Though, that's more to make Jim feel better about the whole thing. He has to believe there's some benefit to this. And he doesn't want to be Khan's babysitter.

Bones smiles and says, "Well, there is something to that, I suppose. You may both come of this stronger and sure that what you've got is real. After a year of not even being able to touch each other."

"I still can't believe those assholes put him in a maximum security prison. It's absolutely unnecessary." Jim's pancake is getting chewed a little more angrily than is needed.

Bones sighs and says, "They shouldn't have pulled a fast one on that. Not that I was surprised. Still, it was daring Khan's anger, too, and that's just stupid."

The blond sighs, still feeling a little frustrated and helpless. "I seriously thought about breaking him out of there when I found out." 

Bones makes a face and says, "Well, I'm glad you didn't, if only because I don't want to spend my life on the lam."

Jim looks up at his friend, still completely bewildered that he managed to find somebody as unwaveringly loyal as Bones, and then manage to hold onto them. "You're too good to me, you know that?"

"Yeah, but you're stuck with me, kid," Bones says. "Who else would make sure you look after yourself? And Khan, too." He heaves a put upon sigh.

"You don't have to worry about Khan. He can take care of himself when he's not moping like a big child," Jim counters with a small smile. The thought of Bones looking after Khan is highly entertaining.

Bones arches the infamous eyebrow and asks, "Khan mopes like a big kid? And what causes him to do that?" He can't really picture the truly terrifying augment pouting like a child.

"Me, mostly. Or, more accurately, absence of me." 

Bones wrinkles his nose and says, "Well, that's a thing. One way to feed your ego, which doesn't need feeding. Sulk when he can't have you."

Jim snorts. "It's got nothing to do with my ego. Not everything does. Not everything."

"That he pouts when you're not around doesn't make you swell up a little with pride?" Bones asks and eyes him. "You've always liked it when you caught the attention of the hottest people around and like it or not, I admit Khan is pretty well built." 

"He's fucking glorious," Jim admits, trying his absolute best not to grin like a madman. He fails. 

Bones pales a little and says, "Glorious. I take it that's not a reference to just what one can see fully clothed."

"God, no, and if you ever want a threesome, I'll put in a good word for you." Jim's grin turns absolutely mischievous and it takes all he's got not to laugh.

Bones frowns a little and says, "That better be a joke, Jimbo. Khan's not the type who shares."

"You'll get one look at his ass and forget all about that," Jim says seriously, and it is truly a goddamn miracle that he's not cackling maniacally.

Another hypospray magically appears in Bones' hand, and he waves it about menacingly. But he's glad to see his best friend looking happy and willing to joke about Khan. "What did you say?"

"That I bet you'd totally bat for both teams," the blond fearlessly replies, but he's definitely ready to flee at any moment.

Bones grits his teeth and says, "Not between the two of you, infant."

"Between? Oh, Bones, you kinky bastard."

"Well, that's what you mean, all right," Bones says, "and that's what I won't give you." He makes a face at Jim and then says more seriously, "You shouldn't joke about that kind of thing with Khan." 

Jim waves his hand dismissively. "I know. His sense of humor is even more dour than yours. I told you, he's like Spock." 

Bones looks doubtful, but lets it go for the moment. "There's a terrifying thought. Two of them on the Enterprise with me." 

"Please, you secretly like Spock. Admit it." Jim knows Bones loves the arguments he has with Spock. They're probably therapeutic, or something.

"Just don't rat me out to Uhura, all right?" Bones jokes with a real smile for his best friend. 

"She already knows. It's Uhura. She knows everything." Jim supposes that's what happens when she's the master of communications and speaks a million languages.

"How are things between the two of you?" Bones asks, not sure if things have eased any sine Uhura tore Jim a new one.

Jim stuffs his last piece of bacon into his mouth and then pushes the tray away. "Better. Not perfect, but getting there. She did feel bad about basically telling me to leave." 

"Did you talk to her about Khan?" Bones asks, wondering if that might have eased the air between them. "Tell her everything about the two of you?"

"It's gonna take a few tries, Bones. She's a stubborn woman, but not impossible." Standing up, Jim takes his tray and stuffs it into the receptacle. "I gotta get up to the bridge. Don't you have physicals to run, or something?"

"I've always got things to do," Bones growls with a scowl at Jim. He walks up to deposit his tray in the recycler and casually gives Jim the second hypospray, right to the neck.

"SON OF A--- REALLY!?" Jim gives Bones a shove to get him on his way and scowls right back at him. "Fucking sadist, that's what you are. Get to work, asshole." 

"It'll be much easier, now that I know your day will start off healthy for once," Bones says with an easy grin, not really minding the swearing and pushing. That was just the way it was to take care of Jim. "You going to call Khan again soon?"

"You're like my mom. Go!" Jim gives him more shoves of encouragement into the hall. Of course, Bones is nothing like Winona. She never really played an active parenting role.

Bones just smacks him lightly on the back of the head and makes his way out. "Fine, don't tell me, but you better not turn into a sulking brat again, infant."

"Oh my God, go!!" Jim laughs and lets the door close behind Bones so he can have a second just to himself. Bones sure can be bossy sometimes, but Jim wouldn't change him for the world. He makes sure he's got his tunic on and that it's not inside out or backwards, or stained with anything, and then he marches on out, headed for the bridge.


	12. A Visit With Spock

Later that night, Jim finds himself back on New Vulcan, standing in front of a simple earthen house with intricate Vulcan symbols etched on the front. Jim's sure they say something, maybe a marker for who lives here or some Vulcan phrase, but he can't read their language, which is really a shame. It's kind of nice looking. Every time he comes here, he ends up staring at those markings, trying to decipher them, and although it would be incredibly easy just to ask, he hasn't done that yet. He won't do that this time, either. Instead, he just knocks on the door and waits. 

Spock the elder rises slowly from his reading and heads for the door, hoping for Jim to be at the door. This version of James T. Kirk is so very different from his own, but so very much the same. He has led a very different life, too, without a father, very little of a mother, and Tarsus IV wrapped on top of that. He's vulnerable in ways Spock hates to see, but strong in ways it took his Kirk years to be. 

When he opens the door to find Jim waiting there, his face twitches into as close to a smile as he gets. "My friend. It is good to see you. Do come in."

"Hey. Sorry for the sudden visit. Figured you probably wouldn't mind." Jim catches the not-smile for what it is and flashes one of his own. He's getting better at reading Vulcans (or maybe just Spocks). Stepping inside, he gives the elder Spock a pat on the shoulder as he passes and heads for the living room to make himself comfortable. It's not the first time he's been here, after all.

"I am always glad to see you, Jim. You are welcome anytime. Would you like some refreshments?" Spock asks, shifting his robes a little as he follows the other man into his home. 

"Water would be great, thanks." Jim still can't handle the heat here. Anything other than cold water absolutely kills him. Though, he knows now that the sun has gone down, it'll start cooling off dramatically. 

"None of the fruit you had last time?" Spock asks, pouring the water for his guest and some tea for himself. "It is quite refreshing, and you are looking rather warm." He fetches a dish without waiting for an answer, the fruit neatly sliced for his friend.

"Ooh, okay. You've convinced me." Jim actually forgot about that fruit. For being Vulcan fare (or, rather, New Vulcan fare) and for Vulcans not having great tasting ability, this fruit, whatever it is, is actually pretty awesome. Not quite on par with apples, but close. "Thanks," he says as the fruit is put down, immediately grabs a slice and pops it into his mouth with a happy noise. 

Spock refrains from a smile, though there is a noticeable lightening of his features. "What brings you here, my friend? Not that I am not always glad for your company." He sits with an elegant grace, considering his age.

"I haven't stopped by in a few weeks, so I thought I'd come visit. Figured maybe you'd missed me a little," Jim quips, drinking some of his water before popping in another piece of fruit. 

"I always am gratified by your presence," Spock says with a hint of his own regality, but soft around the edges. "And welcome you for any visit." He sips his tea and looks at Jim with great tranquility, happy to wait him out.

"Even Bones isn't as patient with me as you are. I really don't know how you do it." Somehow, Jim's gotten incredibly lucky with his friends. It was never like that before he entered Starfleet, but here, he's built a family. 

"Long years of practice," Spock says with another sip of tea. "But I suspect you do not give Dr. McCoy enough credit." He takes one of the slices of fruit for himself, still waiting.

"I give him lots of credit, he just deserves even more." Even if Spock's face is perfectly neutral (even to the happy side), Jim can tell he's waiting for something. Jim thinks he knows what that is, too, so he figures maybe he should get to it. "I, um. Figured maybe I should actually, you know.... fill you in on some details." 

Spock tilts his head to the side a little, looking impassive, but open to anything Jim wishes to say. "I am always here for whatever you wish to say, Jim, but there is nothing you must tell me. However, I am...curious as to the details of your relationship with Khan. In a pure way, of course. Logically, that is what you wish to discuss." 

Jim grunts, not entirely surprised by the guess but still somewhat unnerved by the way Spock seems to mindread. He shifts a little, nervous and trying to hide it, but failing. "Khan and I are... involved. Dating." Might as well be blunt, right? Even if he was in a rough patch with the augment.

Spock raises an eyebrow and says, "Fascinating. That would not have occurred to me as a possibility. May I ask how this connection was made?" 

Oh. Well. That was easier than Jim expected. This is why he likes the older Spock. He's so mellow. "He saved my life a lot of times while we were out there. And, somehow.... I don't know. Things clicked."

"Did he not kidnap you first and endanger your life?" Spock asks, unable to imagine how things could have 'clicked.' "I find it difficult to imagine anyone getting close to Khan," he admits. "This version perhaps even more than the one I knew."

"It took a while," Jim admits. "I was so, so pissed at him at first, but then I got to know him and I realized he was in the same place I was before I got into Starfleet; nothing better to do with my life, so all I could do was get into trouble. It was either that or kill myself." 

Spock's mouth turns down at the edges, and he says with great fondness, "I have no doubt, Jim, that your situations were vastly different. You may have gotten into trouble, but they were not the same kinds of trouble as Khan committed. I am grateful that you are passed feelings of suicide." He looks intensely at Jim, eyes shining softly.

"Me too. Wasn't a great time in my life, but Pike gave me a chance. I saw the way Khan went after those pirates, so I decided to give him a chance."

"You are a good man, Jim Kirk," Spock says, "no matter where I meet you." He folds his hands in his lap. 'This separation must be hard for you."

Jim's brows furrow, and he nods a little. "It is, yeah. It was just him and me for months." 

Spock nods and says, "I understand he is to be released in a year. That was your doing, I presume. I know well how a determined Jim Kirk can influence others to accomplish his designs. Even Starfleet admirals. Do you have plans for after his release?"

Jim fidgets a little but then straightens his spine, trying to seem confident. "He's going to serve the rest of his probation on board the Enterprise." 

Spock notes the uncertainty and looks for the logical causes. "And your crew, Jim, are they taking the news well? I know what this Spock did for you, after your-" he pauses, the word hard even for him, with Jim well and strong in front of him "-your death. He must be of strong opinion about the situation." 

"I've been talking to them about it. It's rough, but it's going. Spock understands, though. Bones, too. The others are slowly coming around. It'll be easier once they actually meet Khan, I think." Jim's trying to be as optimistic as he can, but right now, it's hard. "If we even get that far."

"Do you have a reason to think otherwise?" Spock asks.

"He's angry with me," Jim admits. "We had a stupid fight, and even though we kinda made up...well, he hasn't been the same. We haven't been the same. Not as warm..."

Spock steeples his fingers and places them against his mouth for a moment, clearly thinking this through. "Your mission keeps you here for some time," he says. "I would be able to visit Khan with your regards, should you wish it." 

"Wait, like... go to Earth and visit him?" Jim asks, eyebrows raising. Spock can't seriously be suggesting that. 

"I find that the opportunity to speak with this universe's Khan is something I don't want to pass up," Spock says. "Especially since you desire to tie his future to yours." He slips a piece of fruit in his mouth.

"You really are keen on looking out for me, huh?" Jim asks, tone fond. "Yeah, if you want to visit him, by all means. Think you could take him a couple of these fruits? I think he'd like 'em. Maybe." 

Spock's face lightens a little, and he looks at Jim with his own deep fondness. Having the younger Jim here is rather like having his Captain's son to look after. He had never known the Captain's real son well, but this somehow seemed like making it up to him. "If there are other things you wish to send, I will take them with me. Provided they are allowed." 

"It's not like I'm gonna send you there with explosives and a straightrazor," Jim replies with a laugh. "And as long as you don't start giving him the 'if you're going to date my daughter' speech, everything should be fine." 

"I do not know to what you refer," Spock says with an inate dignity, but humor around the edges. "Making Mr. Singh understand that you have friends is not illogical. However, I would also like to offer him an olive branch of my own."

"You can't bullshit me on that, Spock. I've already figured out that you like to pretend you don't know just so we can look like idiots trying to explain why humans say what we say." Jim grins at the Vulcan and gestures at him with his glass. "I'm on to you. But anyway, what olive branch?" 

"That I am not an unfriendly ear," Spock says, urging more fruit at Jim. "Nor unsympathetic to Khan's situation. Being alone and out of place is something I am not unfamiliar with."

Jim's not one to pass up free food, especially when it tastes good, so he'll eat anything Spock pushes at him. Unless it's identifiably a green vegetable. "Pretty sure he's still pissed at the other you for sticking his fingers in Khan's brain during their fight. Didn't exactly leave a good impression, you know? He's still a little traumatized from that." 

Spock's expression turns grave and sad, in a way no other Vulcan would ever show. "What Spock did was a gross perversion of our abilities and against all of Surak's teachings. However, I understand why he lashed out against Khan in such a way. If the meld happened as it must have, Mr. Singh is experiencing some unpleasant residual sensations."

"Like when you melded with me on Delta Vega, except worse. He's feeling all that anger?" Shit, no wonder Khan's still reeling. "Is there some way to, I don't know, undo it?"

"Far worse," Spock says. "The other Spock was attempting to forcefully pull things from Khan's mind and that causes pain, a violation of his deepest, most private thoughts and feelings. Imagine having someone force himself into those places you most wanted to hide from everyone." He considers the last question and says, "If he allows it, I can meld with him and heal most of the damage Spock caused." 

"I'll talk to him about it when I call him next," Jim agrees, although he's not sure if Khan will allow it. Maybe if Jim asks nicely... All he wants is for his lover to be okay.

He wants to be mad at his Spock for doing that to Khan, but he can't. He knows why Spock did it, and the hatred he must have felt for Khan at the time. Desperate times, desperate measures, as they say.

"Please do extend my wish to see him, if he will allow it," Spock says, "even if he should refuse the meld. The conversation would still be of interest, hopefully to us both." He looks down at his hands. "I feel that some of Spock's actions are my fault. What I told him of our Khan and how he was defeated." He considers a moment and then says, "And of course, I will act as your Ambassador."

Jim gives him a grateful smile and asks, "What did you tell him, by the way? I never really had a chance to find out." What with being dead and all, Jim adds silently simply by shifting in his seat. It's always an unpleasant subject and he probably won't ever get used to it. 

Spock says, "Khan's strongest guiding force was always his love for his family. In my universe, he married a Starfleet officer from the Enterprise, Marla McGivers. He loved her very much, and when she died, he blamed Captain Kirk. And went to any lengths for revenge. Logically, this Khan would have the same blind spot for his family. That's how Spock decided to use the torpedoes against him."

"What?" That's definitely a surprise. "The other Khan was married to a Starfleet officer?" Huh. That's not something Jim would have ever guessed, even if he'd gone so far as to assume that maybe, maybe things had gone the same way there as they had here. Marriage is just so... scary. 

"She was the most important thing in his life," Spock says quietly. "He loved her quite dearly. I saw that even in the little time I saw the two of them together, before Captain Kirk gave Khan a planet to colonize." He tilts his head and admits, "I am most curious to see if that love for you is the same. If it is, I will believe that he will remain by your side through everything." 

Jim can't help the slight flush to his cheeks. The thought of Khan being there for him, no matter what, makes him a little happy. "I hope so. Not sure I deserve that, but one day, maybe I will."

Spock looks at him seriously and sincerely and says, "There is no man worthier. The lucky man is Mr. Singh." 

Jim smiles, a little uncertain but glad for the reassurance. "Thanks, Spock." He stuffs more fruit into his mouth as a distraction for the sudden awkwardness that usually comes with being honest about his emotions. 

"My Captain and I found each other very late in his life," Spock says. "I admit I first thought you and this Spock might be able to share the same thing much earlier. However, I cannot be disappointed to see you care for someone so much, even though that someone is Khan. And if he loves you as much as I believe he does, given the other man I knew, then I will be happy for that."

"'Found each other'?" Jim asks, suddenly very confused and thinking he must be misunderstanding things again. There's no way Spock's telling him he and the other Kirk were together, right? Right. That's just not logical, or whatever. Jim's as far from logical as he can get without actually being insane, and he's pretty sure it drives his Spock up the wall. 

Spock's mouth quirks at the sides again. "You do not misunderstand me, Jim. My only regret was that we found each other so late. We were together for a few years before he vanished on the maiden voyage of the USS Enterprise-B."

Jim's mouth drops open. He's speechless. Completely speechless. What do you say when the older version of one of your best friends tells you he was in love with another version of you? 

"I did not mean to startle you, Jim," Spock says, slightly amused by the response. "Nor would I in any way wish to influence your choices now. That is why I never told you before. You have found someone you are happy with, despite the difficulties."

"But Spock seems so... so straight." It's not that Jim has anything against Vulcans who want to be gay -- that would be like the pot calling the kettle black at this stage -- but it just seems to out-of-place, given Spock's character and his current relationship with Uhura. 

"He may be," Spock says, though the idea of his current self with Uhura is still very curious to him, something he has meditated on before. "And his relationship with Lieutenant Uhura may be satisfactory." 

"He seems happy. I mean, as happy as he'll show, anyway. Has he talked to you about it at all?" Jim can't help but be somewhat amused by the idea of gossiping about Spock with Spock. 

"He and I speak but infrequently," Spock says. "We both find the situation somewhat...disconcerting. I speak with much more often with you. I believe we both prefer it that way, that most of my communication is through you."

Jim thinks that over a little. "I guess that would be kind of odd, talking to yourself. At least you'll talk to me. I'd be a little sad if you didn't."

"And I would regret not speaking with you," Spock says. "Your friendship is a balm to me in this unfamiliar place. My father is as strange to me here as he was in my own life. Though I can be of great use here on New Vulcan, and that is a comfort to me."

"I know I've said this before, but I'm sorry you got stuck here." Though, apparently there isn't a Kirk waiting for Spock back in his own dimension. He wants to ask about the disappearance, but knows he shouldn't, knows Spock won't tell him even if he does. Jim can only imagine how much that must hurt. 

"As I am sorry for all of evil that happened since that time," Spock says, "but I wish to do what good I may now that I am here. If my visit to Mr. Singh is not too unwelcome, I will extend an offer of friendship to him."

The blond smiles warmly at him and reaches over to briefly set his hand on Spock's knee. "Thank you. I really appreciate that, and although Khan will probably be a stubborn bastard to start, he'll appreciate it, too."

"I am not unused to stubborn men," Spock says with a fond look at Jim. "Nor to Khan Noonien Singh. And I, unlike perhaps some others we may name, do not have a temper to speak of."

"Really? No temper, huh?" Jim eyes him skeptically, but it's more teasing than anything. "None at all?"

Spock just maintains his passive expression and raises an eyebrow at the young human. "Would you remain for dinner, Jim? I was contemplating eating alone, but find company most satisfying."

"Of course you're not gonna answer the question, but yeah, I'd love to stay for dinner. As long as it's not plomeek soup. No offense, but it's really not my thing." To Jim, it just tastes bitter. 

"I believe something sweet is more to your taste," Spock says, "and have made a butternut squash soup that should suffice. My mother was fond of it and made it frequently in my youth."

"...You somehow knew I was going to turn up, didn't you, you sneaky bastard?" There's nothing accusatory there, just fond exasperation. It wouldn't really surprise him if Spock had somehow figured it out beforehand. 

"I am also fond of the soup," Spock says, "which may be sweetened to your taste with brown sugar. That I keep for my irregular human guests."

"You get other human guests?" Jim asks, suddenly curious. 

"New Vulcan needs all the help that the Federation can afford, and I find that I miss human company when none is available. I have offered my home to Starfleet officers who are helping us rebuild," Spock says and stands to move to the kitchen. "Please do follow me, Jim."

"Aw, so you're just a big softie. You and Bones have more in common than he'll ever admit." Jim plucks one more fruit piece from the bowl before he gets up and follows after Spock. "I've never had butternut squash soup before."

Spock freezes and asks, "Have you been tested for allergies to butternut squash? I would not have your Dr. McCoy angry at me. The doctor has many fine qualities, but his temper is well renowned."

Jim whines a little, which basically means that, no, he hasn't been tested, but he's been promised dinner and it's not fair to deprive him just because he might be allergic to the bowl it's in. 

Spock sighs and asks, "Are you carrying your hypospray, in case of attack?" 

"Yes?" It's a lie, and Jim knows Spock will know it, so he just ends up pouting. 

"Jim," Spock says with light admonishment and then proceeds back in to his living room. He heads for a small, antique bureau and rummages for a moment, before pulling out a small case. "You are most fortunate that I am prepared."

"My savior! I could kiss you." Jim grins so broadly, happy that Spock knows him so well. "S'a good thing, 'cause I was looking forward to trying your soup."

Spock takes out two of the hyposprays and gravely hands one to Jim. "Your lack of care for your own safety has always been a great puzzlement to me."

"Come on, odds are I'm gonna be just fine." Jim tucks the hypospray into his back pocket and gives the Vulcan a disarming smile. "And I always have friends like you around to watch out for me."

"If your odds are the same as my Jim's, that is one of the more blatant falsehoods to ever pass through your lips," Spock says and returns to the kitchen, still carrying a hypospray.

"Don't be like that," Jim whines. "I'm not gonna die any time soon. At least, not again." It's really an unappealing prospect, so Jim's sort of keen on avoiding it if at all possible. 

Spock's Jim did not pout or moan as much as this version, but Spock finds it rather amusing and more than a touch endearing. "Whining hurts my ears," he lies easily.

"Yeah, and I'm sure that's why you hate me so much," the blond counters cheekily, smile once again in place. 

"Indeed," Spock says seriously. "I always found my regard for you most illogical." He goes to the soup on his small stove and begins to ladle some out for each of them. "Come try the soup now, before we sit down."

"I know how to test for allergies, you know," Jim says, slightly indignant. He does know, but it's not as if he always follows the precautions. He takes a spoon, dips the very tip of it into the soup, licks it off, and waits. 

Spock relaxes after a moment and then asks, "How is the flavor? Would you care for some brown sugar in your soup?"

Jim considers for a moment, rolling the flavor on his tongue, and then he nods. "Guess I'm not sweet enough already," he say with a wink. "Yeah, a bit, please."

"I am not sure Mr. Singh would be pleased to find out you were flirting with me," Spock says with true amusement, even as he puts some brown sugar into Jim's bowl.

"What, I can't ogle the hot guys a little while Khan's away?" the blond teases. He's still so very intrigued by the idea that Spock and he were ever together, at any point. It seems like such a far-fetched thing that it almost can't be real. He thanks him for the soup and takes his bowl to go sit at the kitchen table. "Though, in honesty, he encouraged me to, uh. Get out a little. I haven't."

Spock raises that eyebrow and asks, "And do you think he would not be hurt if you decided to accept that offer?" And then in a moment of true devilry, for all that it was probably true, he adds, "And I would not say no." He takes a spooful of soup with perfect self-possession.

Jim shakes his head. "Wasn't planning on making or accepting any kind of offer. It's just not the same as it used to be. I used to be okay with the random one-night stands. Not anymore. The thought of that sort of thing just isn't appealing." He shrugs a little and then eats a mouthful of soup. His eyebrows raise and he looks a little surprised, but that's a good thing, since he starts eating his soup eagerly. 

Spock's expression veers its very slight way to content again, satisfied in Jim's love for Khan and his response to the soup. He eats much more sedately, though he says, "And you would not hurt Khan in such a way."

"No, I wouldn't." The blond smiles a little, tongue sticking out just a bit in that troublesome way of his. "Doesn't mean I won't ogle, though." 

"I am sure nothing in any universe can change that about James T. Kirk," Spock says. "I admit to find that rather a relief."

Jim laughs and leans back in his chair, giving Spock a genuine, crinkle-eyed smile. "Bit of a man- and lady-killer, was he?" he asks, trying to figure out a little more about his alternate self. 

"Until his relationship with me, Jim was solely involved with females," Spock says. "Though there was some question of gender assignment in a few species, they at least tend toward the more feminine traits. One of the more fascinating aspects of our physical relationship for Jim was learning to enjoy the male anatomy on an intimate level."

"Huh." Jim's absolutely fascinated. It's like listening to a textbook written about himself. "How did the two of you get started?"

Spock frowns a little and then says, "In my universe, it was I who died as a result of Khan's plans. And it took a great deal longer for my resurrection and full recovery. When I was recovering, Jim took to spending more time with me even than before. And after peace was made with the Klingon Empire, we were to be retired for good and all. That did not sit well with Jim, and he asked me to join him in his own brand of adventuring. I could not refuse him, and eventually, that adventuring led to the full exploration of our friendship. You do not know how much that meant and still means to me. How much I still do love and miss him."

Jim listens quietly the whole time, spooning in the occasional mouthful of soup, and then he's silent a while longer. He's not entirely sure what to say. There are so many questions about Spock's death and how he came back and about the retirement and how old they must have been, and what sort of adventures they went on and what happened in the end. He knows he can't ask them all, though. He licks at his lower lip and looks up at Spock, feeling a little sad for him. "If you ever get too lonely, you just give me a call, okay? I'll pick up." 

"As I have said, you are a comfort to me," Spock says, "and I wish for your happiness. That is why I will also show my support for Khan and hope that he will accept it in the spirit intended."

"He will. I'll kick his ass if he doesn't," Jim replies, breaking the serious mood with humor as he usually does. Too much in the way of emotionally serious makes him a little uncomfortable. 

"Yes, I am certain of that," Spock says, used to Jim Kirks shying like the plague away from the serious when it has to do with them. This one no less than his own Captain. He will not push. "And how then are your crew, Captain?"

Jim sets his empty soup bowl to the side and rubs his hand over his face, a sure sign that it's a topic he's a little stressed about. "There's not much more to say on it, really. They're having a bit of a tough time with it, but they're coping. They'll come around. Uhura was especially pissed, as you can imagine."

That was not what Spock meant, but he is pleased to listen to what Jim needs to say. "If Mr. Singh loves you as I believe he does, he will make them believe purely through his actions as a member of your crew and toward you. I will be more certain of this after I have spoken to him, of course."

"Just try not to gossip about me too much," Jim grouses, knowing he'll probably wind up being the main topic of conversation anyway.

"Vulcans do not gossip," Spock says imperiously as Khan might. "Nor would I expect Mr. Singh to engage in such."

Jim smirks. "HAH, I call your bluff and raise you one complete bullshit." 

Spock raises his eyebrow and says, "If I were human, I believe my response would be...go to Hell." He pauses for dramatic effect. "If I were human."

The blond laughs again, delighted by Spock's more blunt sense of humor. Plus, hearing a Vulcan say that is absolutely priceless. "Wish I'd recorded that." 

"A tragedy that you are not that well prepared," Spock agrees and then asks, "Would you care for more soup?" This Jim could use a little more feeding.

"Butternut squash is technically good for me, right? So, Bones can't be mad at me for eating it?" Honestly, Jim's not sure how, but he's sure Bones would find out if he gorged himself on sweets while he was down here. 

"It actually is a vegetable, unlike pizza," Spock says.

"Shut up," Jim squawks. "Pizza is better than a vegetable. It's a brilliant balance of all four food groups. What more could you want?"

Spock serves him more soup and places it in front of him. "Eat your soup, Captain." He sits back down and pours them both more tea. 

"You're lucky it's good soup," Jim replies, sucking at his soup almost sulkily. Spock somehow won that argument. He doesn't know how or why, but it just happened and he's a little envious of that kind of skill. 

"I have indeed been most fortunate in that regard," Spock agrees, amused and this time hiding it completely. This Jim is so young, so vulnerable without even knowing it. He thinks that perhaps it will take someone as ruthlessly willful and strong as Khan to protect him and give him his head at the same time. And someone like Jim to allow Khan both his freedom and keep him from harming others simultaneously. He wants to see them together, interacting, knowing he will find their relationship fascinating.

Jim feels better by the time he's downed that soup again and rubs at his belly, happy and full. Spock is definitely good at this soup thing. "You're gonna get me used to home cooking and the food on the ship is going to taste like cardboard all over again." 

"In time, the food should improve," Spock says. "I confess that is one area in which I am tempted to speed up the process." He rises and carries the bowls to the sink. "Would you care for anything else? A light fruit souffle perhaps?"

"I'm gonna go back to the ship ten pounds heavier and it's gonna be all your fault. If Bones bitches at me, I'm gonna point him in your direction, just so you know," Jim warns, thinking that's only fair. 

"Dr. McCoy will thank me for feeding you a healthy meal you actually enjoy and are not allergic to," Spock says and takes a small plate of fruit souffle from out of his small cooler. This he has also made by hand from his own gardens. 

"Oh, wow, did you make that, too?" Jim follows Spock into the kitchen so he can get a closer look at the thing. "Is this a recent talent, or something you've known for a long time?"

"I cultivated it over my lifetime," Spock says and urges him to sit again. "This is a simple dish, but one that is quite pleasant. And made of things you should not be allergic to. Please, enjoy."

Jim scampers back to his seat, a little excited to get to eat that souffle. It looks so delicious, and Jim does have a fondness for desserts. Maybe too much fondness, especially without Khan around to help him work it off. "I'm gonna start hinting to the other you that he'd be good at cooking." 

As soon as the souffle is set in front if him, Jim picks up a portion with his fork and pops it into his mouth, chewing away happily. "It's delicious!"

Spock sits across from Jim with his own dessert and shovels a small piece in his mouth. He says, "Thank you, Jim. I am glad you approve. Would you care to spend the night?"

Jim blinks at Spock, fork still stuck in his mouth. That wasn't a request he was expecting, but it's not like he has any reason to say 'no'. It's not like he'll be in the same bed as Spock, and it wouldn't be weird for an ambassador to host him for a night. He pulls his fork out and finishes chewing. "Fair warning: I snore." 

"Logically, that is a trait I believed you might share with my Jim," Spock says. "He always needed a certain position to cease."

Jim laughs and then scratches at the back of his head, slightly embarrassed, too. "I won't blame you if I wake up folded into a pretzel."

"I found the noises a comfort, however illogical that may be," Spock says. "A reminder of Jim's closeness and life."

"Was it hard for you to sleep after he disappeared?" Jim asks, even knowing it might be insensitive. He wonders if Khan has the same issue with the quietness at night. Then again, he's not sure how Khan sleeps with him snoring, anyway.

"I did not sleep for many days, as we tried to determine what happened to him," Spock says. "And afterward, yes, I had become used to not being alone anymore. In one of our rare conversations, my father confessed that he also found it so after the death of my mother."

"I'm sorry. That probably wasn't a fair question." Jim understands the difficulty of sleeping alone. He'd gotten used to Khan's presence, warm at his back, that his bed always feels cold without him. 

Spock nods and says, "I still miss him, Jim, but it is an old pain, worn more easy with time. Do you miss Khan's presence?"

Jim pops a piece of souffle into his mouth and then nods. "A lot. I'm not sure how much of it has to do with the fact that we were alone and practically never apart for months." 

"If after a year apart you still miss his presence, the signs for your relationship are good," Spock says. 

"I call him as often as I can. It's still not enough. I feel like even if I had a heated blanket, the bed would still be freezing." Jim sighs quietly. Even talking about it is making the loneliness come back.

"Your separation is but a few months from ending," Spock says, "provided all goes well. Can you not visit him at least once more before then, as well?"

"There'll be one more shipment of goods to pick up. They're scheduled to finish quality testing in three weeks, so we'll be heading to Earth then." Jim shifts a little uncomfortably, shame already coloring his cheeks. "I was kind of a dick the last time I was there...cause of the fight." 

Spock raises that eyebrow and says, "Then you can make it up to him when you visit next. Would you like me to speak with Starfleet Judicial and see if I can persuade them to allow you a more...personal visit?"

"I can't risk them knowing." That's one of Jim's greatest concerns: somebody untrustworthy finding out that he and Khan are more than just business contacts and that his hopes for them will fall apart. "If word gets out, this whole plan is screwed." 

"Ah yes, forgive me," Spock says softly. "That is a cruelty to you both. Now, finish you dessert, Jim, and I'll get your room made up for you."

"Okay. Thanks." Oh, how Jim wishes he could have a personal visit with Khan. If they were out in the open, and it was an accepted thing, then he wouldn't have any problem getting a conjugal visit. It'll be hard enough when they're on the Enterprise, never mind when Khan's in prison. 

So, Jim finishes his treat and then goes to put the dishes in the wash while Spock readies the room. Then, he ventures to find the Vulcan. "I've been good. Ate every last bit." 

Spock nods to him with his amazing gravitas and says, "I am gratified you enjoyed the food so much, Jim. Would you care for a game of 3d chess?" 

"You know you'll wipe the floor with me, right?" The only way Jim wins against his own Spock in 3D Chess is either by luck or by cheating. He's getting better slowly, but sitting in one spot that long just has never been his thing. 

Spock says, "I could teach you the Vulcan game of kal-toh, which is a game of strategy and logic. You might find it interesting."

"Oh, awesome, another game for you to kick my ass in," Jim quips with a smile, but he agrees anyway. "Sure. Let's do it." 

Spock goes to a lovely, hand-carved, antique cabinet and fetches what looks like a mass of jumbled metal rods. He places it on a table and takes a seat on one side. "The object of the game is to make a perfect sphere from these metal rods, moving them one at a time."

Jim looks at the rods, a little perplexed as to how they can turn into a perfect sphere. "You got a picture of what a finished one is supposed to look like?"

Spock nods and says, "Indeed." He opens a picture on his personal PADD to show Jim what the finished product should be. 

"Oh, okay. I think I got it." Jim leans forward to peer at the picture, studying it. "So, what, the trick is for it not to fall to pieces in the process?"

"And for the sphere to end up this perfect," Spock says and offers his version of a smile to Jim. "Would you like to try?"

Jim picks up one of the sticks and looks at it, trying to figure out how they hook together. He thinks it might have something to do with magnetism. Maybe. Curious, he sets one down to start forming the base of the sphere. "So... do we take turns, then?"

"Yes. In this case, we shall work together to build the sphere," Spock says, "if the game appeals to you. I thought it might be a change from chess."

"Thank you for attempting to preserve my dignity," Jim teases good-humoredly, and he finally takes a seat in the other chair. "Your turn, then, and I apologize in advance for how many tries this might take." 

Spock bows his head and says, "In this game, the attempt means as much as the success. And I will always enjoy anytime when we may strategize together. Our minds always did work well in concert."

"With the other me," Jim gently reminds him. He doesn't want Spock to expect him to be this other person and be disappointed when he just doesn't live up to the hype. 

"You may be different, Jim, but your minds are not so different," Spock says. "After all, you both cheated in the same way on the Kobayshi Maru."

Jim's not convinced, but nudges Spock's knee under the table. "We'll see. It's your turn."

Spock considers his move and then carefully changes a rod to a new place. "There. Now, it's your turn, Jim." He does not nudge back.

Jim's not as thoughtful about his moves. He's more interested in just figuring out how things work first, so he tries to build that inner sphere he remembers seeing in the picture.

Spock moves the pieces with Jim, enjoying the way they slowly work together to build the sphere. And it does take shape, as effortlessly as everything they ever did together. In fact, it was quite fast for anyone playing kal-toh.

"Huh," Jim says when he lays in the last piece and leans back in his chair to just look at it for a moment. "Usually things like this fall apart at least three times." 

"Jim, solving this puzzle on the first try and so fast is almost illogical," Spock says and looks proudly at the young man.

"Okay, that might actually be my specialty." Jim smiles and pokes at their handiwork a little. "It's pretty sturdy now, isn't it?"

"It is the sphere as it was meant to be built, Jim," Spock says. "I shall display it on a shelf, as a complete kal-toh is a matter of pride in a Vulcan household."

"Like a trophy, huh?" Jim's still slightly amazed that they put it together at all, but he supposes a lot of it has to do with the way Spock seems to play to Jim's strengths rather than trying to force logic and structure onto him. It's refreshing.

"As you say," Spock says and carries the completed sphere to set on a prominent shelf, where everyone can see. "Now, the hour is quite late. Would you care for a nightcap?"

"...You have alcohol?" Jim squints at him, like he's not sure whether Spock's pulling his leg or not. 

"I often have human guests," Spock reminds him, "and my Jim often enjoyed a small libation prior to retiring for the night. It was not illogical to assume you might feel the same."

"Hey, it puts me to sleep faster." Jim stands up and stretches, feeling the way his limbs pop. It's cool now that night has fully set in and the thought of a nightcap and blankets is inviting. 

Though, he has thought of one thing: "You're not gonna mind if I sleep in my boxers, right? Don't wanna come out of here doing the walk of shame tomorrow morning." He knows the Vulcans wouldn't assume anything odd if Jim came out with his uniform rumpled all to hell, but his crew? They'd tease him for ages. 

Spock pours Jim a small amount of fancy rum, something his Jim had developed a taste for, but he imagined this Jim had not experienced yet. "I have sleeping clothes, if you would prefer. My Jim slept in the altogether."

Jim takes the drink gratefully, but not so gratefully when Spock says that just as he's swallowing. He coughs and sputters, and then looks at the Vulcan for a moment. "Guess that means I don't have anything you haven't already seen, then." 

"The captain was never what one could describe as a shy man," Spock says, taking a sip of his own rum. "I caught him in any number of what others would consider embarrassing situations long before we were on intimate terms."

Jim's pretty sure he knows exactly what sort of embarrassing situations those are, and that he'll undoubtedly have the same happen with his own Spock, which he's not looking forward to because it will probably mean traumatizing the poor Vulcan. 

He laughs a little to himself at the mental image of Spock's face upon walking in on him and Khan having sex. Or, rather, it's the complete lack of expression that makes it comedic gold. He takes another sip of the rum, actually getting to enjoy the flavor this time, and he looks down at it, swilling it around in his glass. "This is pretty good." 

"Indeed," Spock agrees and sips again. "Considering your relationship with your Spock, I might recommend not allowing him to see you in a similar state."

"I'm really not planning on it, but he has bad timing and I have a terrible habit of losing my clothing in ways that are absolutely not my fault," Jim replies with a small grin. 

"Perhaps I shall speak privately with Mr. Singh about your habits," Spock muses.

Jim laughs. "Pff. Never mind that. Have you seen what happens to me on away missions? I get attacked by the ice beasts with tentacle-tongues that try to eat me. That kind of clothing damage can't be stopped." 

"Those things you will always be forgiven," Spock says with the slightest crinkling by his eyes. "Of course, you always led with your chin."

The captain smiles right back at him and then settles his fists on his hips. "Let's see these pajamas of yours. Maybe they'll survive the night." 

"I will ensure your uniform is laundered tonight, if you wish, as well," Spock says and moves to fetch the pajamas. He has a pair in Jim's size and a style he won't find objectionable. 

Jim nods. "If you wouldn't mind?" It'd be nice to have fresh clothes to wear. Once Spock returns with the pajamas, Jim takes them to go change. They're soft and simple, just the way Jim likes it, and he's surprise that they fit perfectly well, too. It's kinda creepy, actually, like he's wearing his dead twin's clothes. Oh well. He brings his uniform back out for Spock, still tugging down one corner of his top to cover his abdomen. "Thanks." 

Spock nods and takes the uniform, smoothing it over with one hand. "Sleep well, Jim. Thank you for brightening an old man's day."

"It goes both ways." The blond reaches out and pats Spock on the shoulder before he heads for the bedroom. He'll clean himself up a bit before he crawls under the blankets and sprawls out. That nightcap definitely helped. Jim's out like a light in less than five minutes and snoring loudly.


	13. Reconcilation

Time eases all wounds, so they say. And Khan finds that is quite true. Especially when James continues to call, to talk, to soothe away the pain between them. And if the name does not come back quickly or simply, perhaps that is not so strange either. But come back it does.

And then there is Ambassador Spock. He is an unexpected presence...but it turns out, he represents James' interests as well as he represents his people. Perhaps because he views James as one of his people. His persistence eases some of the tightness in Khan's chest as much as James' words do. 

It's been three weeks since Jim's visit with Spock. Getting permission for the old Vulcan's visit from Khan had been...interesting. But he relents in the end and ends up enjoying the time for the most part. So far as to look forward to the next. 

Until today, when the ambassador throws him a decidedly unexpected turn.

Jim, too, has been enjoying the calls between himself and Khan, as well as the way his lover has been affected by Ambassador Spock. He wants to know how each visit goes, only partly for his own amusement, so he gives Khan a call after each one. Today, as soon as his shift allows, he calls, turns on the scrambler, and waits for him to answer. He's not even trying to hide his grin. 

Khan answers almost instantly, expecting James' call, and just stares into the his lover's face, speechless. His expression resembles that of someone who was just treated to some shocking experience not adequately prepared for, though he had only allowed that to show when James appeared. He's managed to keep a normal expression until then. "You," he said in a near growl.

Jim can't keep it in any more. When he sees Khan looking like a cow looks at an oncoming train, he bursts out laughing hard enough that he nearly falls off of his bed. "Oh my God, your face!"

Khan's face turns unimpressed as James laughs at his expense. "You did not tell me the other Spock would be as he is," he says. "Your own Vulcan was not enough?"

"Wait, what?" Jim straightens out and wipes the tears from his eyes, struggling to get his breathing back to normal. "What do you mean? Older, or funnier, or what?"

"He knew intimate details of you," Khan hisses, face tight and eyes narrow. "He went so far as to recommend certain techniques that you would enjoy." 

"Whoa." Jim's eyes go a little wide and he stares at Khan. "Are you serious? Spock had sex tips? For you?"

Khan snarls low in the back of his throat and says, "He did not explain exactly how he knew these things, though he enjoyed the whole experience." His expression morphs for a moment into quiet speculation. "It was disconcerting to see a Vulcan openly showing his amusement."

The blond is right back to laughing. It seems like Spock the Elder has left quite an impression, though Jim will definitely have to ask him about those sex techniques. He still thinks maybe Khan is bullshitting him about that. "He's definitely different from my Spock, but he makes damn good soup, I'll say that much." 

Khan's expression goes back to frightening, and he says, "Perhaps you would care to explain what that means. How does he know so much of you and you of him?"

"I've visited him a few times on New Vulcan. You know that. I already told you." Oh, Jim finds this just too amusing. Khan's downright adorable when he gets all growly and possessive. 

Khan shivers a little in anger at the implication, but does not vent anything else. He gave James permission to explore with others and the older Spock is preferable to most. After all, he obviously cares for James. 

"We didn't have sex, if that's what you're thinking," Jim finally assures, not wanting to tease too much. He knows Khan tends towards taking things very pessimistically.

Khan looks at him with quiet disbelief, but then his eyes light with understanding. "The other you. He was the other you's lover." He frowns and says, "That is very strange."

"Now you're getting it, baby," the blond replies with a smile, crow's feet at the corners of his eyes. "Yeah, he was. He told me about it when I spent the night there a few weeks ago." 

Khan's expression eases into something fond, eyes warm now for his James. "James," he purrs, voice velvet and honey, a response to being called 'baby.' He missed the sweet words when they were gone from their conversations. "His talk of you made me miss you more. Am I as good at showing you that I care as he is?"

"When you say my name like that? Even better." When Khan says it like that, Jim thinks his name could be Chadwick and it would still be sexy. 

Khan touches the screen and says, "He was teasing me then. A Vulcan, teasing. I am not sure what to think. But now that I know he is not competition, I continue to like him. He is much more civilized than your Vulcan, if not more direct."

"He's had more time to get used to being both human and Vulcan," Jim says, figuring that's probably a large part of the difference between the two. "That, and I had longer to rub off on him."

"You are a terrible influence," Khan says, but his voice continues to be sugared and full of promises for later. "However, he will be a formidable ally, if that is what he proves to be."

Jim's grinning away, happy that things are working out so well. "You made a friend!" This is a first, and hopefully this means good things for Khan making friends with the crew. "Also, I told him not to give you the 'rules for dating my teenage daughter' speech."

Khan raises an eyebrow in a dead imitation of the Spocks and says, "It would be illogical to presume, Captain, that he is my friend after so few interactions." Even his voice is near a perfect ringer for the older Spock. 

"Oh, wow, you guys were probably giving each other Vulcan handjobs in the shower," Jim teases mischievously. 

Khan's makes a moue of disgust and says, "Your sense of humor grows worse the longer we are apart."

"Come on, it was clever! Vulcans, you know!" Jim holds up his fingers and wiggles them. "Sensitive hands! ...No?" He pouts a little.

Pouting always warms Khan a little, though he snorts, even as his expression eases into affection again. "Yes, James, though Spock was not so informal as to offer any touches of that sort."

"I might have to kill him if he did," Jim replies seriously.

Khan rumbles low in his throat and chest in approval of James' jealous streak, eyes lit with warmth. "I would never," he promises and affirms. "With anyone."

The blond smirks a little. "Good, because you'll be getting another surprise soon, and I wouldn't want it to be tarnished by jealousy over an old Vulcan with too much time on his hands." 

"A surprise I will enjoy?" Khan asks, not always trusting James' surprises. 

"I'll cry if you don't," Jim replies solemnly.

"I do not like to see you sad," Khan says with equal seriousness, but feels a surge of excited interest at this promised surprise. "So, I shall attempt to be adequately happy."

"Good, then that's settled. So, about that sex advice Spock gave you.... What was it?" Jim is so, so curious.

Mischief spreads through Khan's demeanor, and he rumbles, "I believe I may save that for some surprises of my own."

"Oh, please do. Surprise me," Jim purrs right back, definitely anticipating what Khan has in store for them once they're finally alone together. God, that's going to be some good sex, Jim just knows it. 

"When finally I can have my hands on you again, James, you had best set aside an entire week of personal time. Possibly, two, as you'll need the second for recovery," Khan says, promise in his tone and demeanor. He is predatory, lust permeating his pores. 

"Fuck," Jim breathes, already instinctively sprawling out on the bed for him. "I'm so looking forward to that. A few more months and I'll be riding your cock like my life depends on it." 

"If you have enough strength for riding after I spend the first few days pounding into you," Khan says. "You best be keeping up your strength." 

That makes a shiver run down the length of Jim's body and settle into the base of his spine. "Don't need much energy to give you a fantastic blowjob, at least." 

"Mmm, I am not sure which I shall want to start with," Khan says, flicking his tongue over his lips. "But whatever you do, do not wear anything you are particularly fond of for our first night together. It will not survive."

Jim snorts out a laugh and licks at his lower lip. "Old sweatpants and a t-shirt. Got it."

Khan hums under his breath and says, "I was hoping you might choose something a little less...sexless. But nonetheless available for destruction." His eyes flick up and down James' body and then he huffs out a frustrated breath. "Months is a long time."

"I'm not breaking out the nurse outfit and high heels," Jim teases, but before he can say anything else, his door chime sounds. "Shit. Sorry. I gotta go, but I'll see you again soon, okay?"

Khan's frustration turns to anger at being interrupted, though it's not directed at James. "Not soon enough, my James. I continue to feel empty without you."

"I know, baby. I love you. Good night." The blond blows a kiss at the screen before he ends the call and goes to join that meeting he forgot about. Damn Vulcans.


	14. Surprise!!

Khan paces the small, private room that the guards had brought him to and then left him in. There was just the one entrance, a few sparse furnishings (including, to his bewilderment, a well made bed), no windows and stranger still, no surveillance equipment. He had decided this was some sort of test of his promise not to escape, even though it made very little sense. But the entire activity seems nonsensical to Khan so far. In fact, it reminds him of James somehow. 

Or maybe that's Khan's Jim-sense tingling, since that's exactly who walks through the door a few minutes later, smiling away with his arms held out to the sides. "Surprise!"

He has to thank the elder Spock for this later. And Boyce. He has no idea how the hell the two of them did it, but this little tete-a-tete has been arranged with their blessings. Of course, it's under the guise of Khan and his soon-to-be Captain getting to know each other without a cell wall in front of them. Then again, Jim plans on getting to know Khan very well. 

Khan twitches once and glances all over the room quickly in a last check for any prying eyes, before he rushes forward, lifts James off his feet, pins him to the wall and seals their mouths together with a growl of possession. He forgets any possible complications of their location and situation, needing to be as close as possible to his James. His James.

 _That's one way to say 'hello',_ Jim thinks, but it's certainly not a complaint. He moans into that kiss, lifting his legs to wrap them around Khan's hips and hold their bodies flush together. He sucks and nips at his lover's lips until he needs to pull back for air. "I know I promised the nurse outfit, but the corset didn't pass the metal detector," Jim breathlessly teases. 

"Tell me you are here for what I believe you are here for," Khan rumbles, biting down James' throat from jawline to shoulder. "Tell me I can throw you on the bed in the corner and have you until you scream for mercy."

"Screaming might attract attention," Jim moans, "but the rest of it sounds fucking fantastic." He's already getting hard just from being near Khan and his hands are roaming under the Augment's prison-orange shirt. 

"Remove your clothing, James, before I shred them into little strips of cloth," Khan says and eases him to the ground. He steps back and begins peeling off the orange jumpsuit, tossing it carelessly aside. He is already hard and eager, trembling with the strain of keeping his hands off James for these extra seconds. "My James."

Jim gets to work as soon as he's set down, tugging off his Starfleet shirt and tunic, followed by his boots and socks and pants, and finally his boxers. "All yours, baby," Jim says as he saunters towards the bed invitingly, making sure Khan gets a good view of his backside. 

"You best have something slick to ease the way," Khan says, advancing on James with a deliberate stalk. Every muscle moves with coordinated grace, carrying him to the one place he wants to go, the one person he needs.

"There'll be lube in one of those drawers somewhere," Jim says, pointing to the small stand beside the bed. "This is where married people get to have sex, after all. There's probably condoms and stuff, too." He then sprawls himself out on the bed, palming at his cock and eyeing Khan hungrily. 

"We do not need the latter," Khan says and smacks James' hand away from his cock, before crawling right on top of him. He ruts against him, mingling their scents and just getting to know the feel of James' skin against his own again. And then he sits up and strokes James from stem to stern, large hands covering every inch of his body. 

Jim whines at the friction of their erections rubbing against each other and he pushes upward with his hips, trying to get more. "I missed you so much," he whimpers, pulling Khan down so he can kiss him. "It's been too fucking long since I last got to touch you." 

Khan growls his loud agreement into James' mouth, before pressing in with his tongue to claim. He does not stay long, though, distracted by the rest of the warm body beneath him. His lips, teeth and tongue begin a catalogue of the curves and straights, soft skin, salty tang. They stray wildly, seeking out every inch, but latch on to a nipple when one comes into reach, sucking with demanding force.

Jim cries out as loudly as he dares, spreading his legs in wanton invitation for Khan to do even more. "Fuck, that feels good." Everything is so intense, especially after months of having only his own hands to touch him. Everywhere Khan touches leaves a little trail of fire and Jim writhes, needing even more. 

Khan flutters his tongue over the little peak, as it reaches full strain and then bites, not hard, but enough to send sparks. He switches to the other side then, repeating the entire experience for James. And then his mouth finds the spot right over James' heart, kissing with a deep tenderness.

Jim's chest is already heaving, overwhelmed by the simple fact of Khan being right here, with him, touching him. His lover is always so attentive, kissing and sucking in ways that make Jim feel like he's being worshipped. "I love you." 

Khan's head lifts, hair in his eyes, and he smiles, genuine and content. "I love you, my James. So much I fear I am dreaming and shall soon wake, alone and bereft." He trails the fingers of his left hand from James' sternum to the curls of his groins, tangling them there lightly.

"If so, then we're both dreaming, and I'd rather not wake up at all," Jim replies, cock giving an interested twitch as Khan's hand grows near. "Please? I need you. It's been way too long." 

Khan strokes James' cock with an infinite care and nods once, not wanting to leave his lover needing. He releases him to lean over and opens the little bedside stand, making a face at the quantities of cheap lubricant and condoms inside. He chooses the least offensive and sits back on his heels, looking over James with pure, unadulterated need. "No condom." 

"It's not exactly like we can leave evidence, is it?" There's not much other choice but for Jim to deal with having a squicky hind end when he walks out of here. He can't risk leaving dirty tissues and used condoms in the trash, or trying to smuggle them out. 

Khan scowls and says, "I want to mark you so badly. Your neck is bare and empty." He rolls down on top of James like the tide and nuzzles at his nape, teeth scraping over the skin. "It's wrong to be so naked."

"Then fix it," Jim murmurs, tipping his head to the side and exposing his neck. "Just keep it below the collar." 

"Defeats the purpose," Khan laments and presses a kiss to the spot, pulling back. He tears open the lube, making another face. "This is not the quality I am used to. You deserve better." He dribbles it all over his fingers and then smears it teasingly between James' cheeks, scraping the little ring.

"Doesn't matter. I'd do this dry if there weren't any at all. I just want to feel you inside me." Jim spreads his legs as wide as he can, twitching a little at the slight scrape. He's had nothing but his own fingers so he's tight and unprepared for a girth as large as Khan, but he knows his lover will take the time to prep him properly. 

"No, I would not allow myself to hurt you that way," Khan murmurs, plucking a pillow for the bed and tucking it under James' hips. He continues to tease, just smearing lubricant over the outside of James' entrance. He waits for the signal from his lover's body to press inside. His other hand smoothes over James' strong abdomen, caressing the area in broad strokes.

Khan knows just what to do to get Jim relax, and in less than a minute, the blond has practically melted into the bed. His muscles are loose and he's definitely ready for more. "Mm, after you fuck me senseless, I want a massage." 

Khan snorts and carefully inserts a single finger to the knuckle inside of James in the same breath. "I think you are spoiled," he says, stroking in and out with that first digit, just making sure James' passage is used to having something internal again.

Jim keens a little when Khan finally starts to fill him up and clenches around his finger greedily, as if his body is trying to pull it in further. "Fuck," he pants out, body quickly switching gears from relaxed to aroused. "How am I spoiled?"

"James," Khan warns, as his finger still inside the greedy body. He eases down and licks the head of James' erection, before sucking in the first inch. His mouth does not do anything else, though, waiting for James again.

"You fucking tease," Jim accuses, bucking up into Khan's mouth as he tries to force him to take more in. "Evil little incubus." 

Khan pulls off and looks incensed, though it is all for show. "Who do you call little?" he demands, shoving his finger in all the way.

"Ah, fuck!" Jim arches up, head tipping back as he lets out a pleasured cry. "More!" Khan might be an incubus, but Jim's an outright whore. 

"Hush," Khan cautions and leans down to swallow James' cries with a slick tongue and mouth. Simultaneous, his finger curls over the slight bump inside James and presses against it over and over and over.

Jim whimpers into that kiss, wanting to swear and moan and cry out, but it's all being swallowed up. Each pass of Khan's finger over his prostate makes sharp little spikes of intense pleasure lance into his spine, and it's too much and not enough all at once. 

Khan removes his finger and retrieves the lubricant, slathering the slick on two this time. "Will two be enough?" he wonders into James' mouth, allowing him a split second to breathe. That's all he gives those, kissing and intruding into his body in the next breath. He presses deep, fingers tight together to ease their way.

"No," Jim replies honestly. He knows Khan will understand why. It's further proof that he hadn't taken advantage of Khan's permission for a little infidelity. He's tight around those fingers, but relaxes to accommodate them, pushing his hips down to force them further inside. 

Khan gentles his movements, allowing James to move at his own speed. The idea that he will need extra preparation is a pleasant one, building his confidence that James truly is his, with no strings. He kisses more affectionately now, sharing the pleasure more equally and not overwhelming his lover. 

The blond quivers a little, but it's a good thing. He fucks himself on Khan's fingers, rolling his hips in a slow, languid pace. He slides one hand into Khan's hair, gripping at the thick strands and deepening that kiss, tangling their tongues together in the same, unhurried vein.

Khan purrs low and deep as their mouths tangle sweetly, and his fingers spread wide, twisting and opening the tight muscle. He is strong, and muscles stretch easily under that power, but he makes sure James feels only pleasure. The grip on his hair keeps his head still, not that he minds with James kissing him.

"Another," Jim breathes between kisses, wanting to move things along. It doesn't matter if there's a slight burn already, he just wants to get to the point where Khan can be inside him. "Please." 

"You are demanding, James," Khan says, pleased by the eagerness. "But always so sweet about it." He spends another few moments opening him up, before removing his hand and reaching for even more of the slick. "Three now." He feels James' entrance give a little and freezes, fearing he's torn him. "Hurt?" he asks, concern and apology in his voice.

Jim only grimaces slightly before he pushes down on Khan's fingers again. "No. Keep going. I'm fine." He's pretty sure he hasn't torn anything. There's definitely a burn and an uncomfortable stretch, but he can handle it. It'll ease up soon enough and then it will all be worth it. He just needs to bear with it a little while longer. 

Khan murmurs sweet nothings in regret and dots James' face with loving kisses, before allowing his fingers to slip deeper. He takes his time again, careful with each inch he opens James up further. "You are fine, my James. So fine."

The blond keeps himself as relaxed and loose as he can, letting Khan's ministrations do the work of opening him up slowly, a bit at a time. The burn lessens with each minute that passes, and Jim distracts himself by massaging small circles into Khan's scalp. "Says the man who's practically a god."

Khan likes that praise and lets James know by way of tender kisses all over his face. He does not see himself that way anymore, but that James thinks so well of him is very pleasant indeed. He removes his fingers and asks, "Do you feel ready, my James?"

Jim likes those kisses, but whines when he's suddenly empty again. "Yes. Just go slow. You're so thick." Compared to Khan's size, a regular dildo just wouldn't satisfy him. 

Khan drags his discarded shirt off the floor and uses it to prop James up an extra inch or so, underneath the pillow. He spreads lubricant on himself with impatience, designed to be thorough, but uninspiring. James' body will finish him sooner than he likes anyway. "Are you certain?" He eases himself into position, a very slight tremble to his limbs displaying his eagerness.

"How about we not torture either of us any longer than necessary?" Jim replies, reaching up to grab Khan's shoulders. He presses his feet into the mattress, balancing himself and bracing, ready to be penetrated. "Come on, baby." 

Khan's head falls forward to press his forehead to James'. He presses slowly inside James, not taking more than his body was ready to give. A low groan escapes from deep in his throat, forced out from his soul. "James." 

"Noonien," Jim purrs right back, eyes falling closed as he focuses on the sensation of his lover slowly filling him up. It's a feeling he's been missing for months, and now that he has it, he feels whole again. 

Khan feels the same, the link between them strong again, joined as they are by flesh and the spirit. He stills as he finds there are no more inches he can go, disappointed that he cannot be closer. "Call me that again," he says.

Once his lover's fully seated, Jim tightens around him, holding him in so he can savor that feeling a while longer. "Noonien. Noonien," Jim says, almost reverently. 

"Yes. Yes, that's right, my James," Khan croons and keeps himself completely still, allowing himself to enjoy their coupling, too. He initiates some gentle kissing, tasting and enjoying the touches. "I'm here. With you. At last."

It's just as well. Jim needs time to adjust to his girth, so he ties them together by locking his legs around his lover's hips. He sucks on Khan's tongue, re-memorizing the man's flavor, and he only pulls away again when he remembers that he needs to breathe. "I'm sorry I didn't come see you last time." 

Khan shakes his head and says, "I was cruel to you. You had a right to be angry." He brushes kisses over his face- forehead, nose, cheeks, eyebrows, ears- and then back to his mouth again. "I missed you." 

"I was being childish," Jim admits, gripping the back of Khan's neck gently to hold him still so he can just press their foreheads together and enjoy the closeness. 

Khan lifts his hands to cup James' cheeks and stroke them, touching his lips softly now and then. He breathes the same air and wishes they could stay this way, entwined and bound forever. "Doesn't matter. We are together now."

"We've only got ninety minutes," Jim laments, but he understands that time beyond that would have been suspicious, so they'll just have to make do with what they've got. "Move?"

Khan sighs sadly at the time limit, knowing it'll never be enough. He thrusts lazily for the first few minutes, but then picks up the pace. His body flexes and bends naturally with each press in and out of James, even as he cradles his lover to keep him from moving on the mattress too much. 

Jim lets out his own sigh, but it's one of satisfaction when Khan finally starts moving. That minor friction is just enough to graze against his prostate and wake his cock back up, and when Khan starts pounding into him harder, Jim can't hold back his moans. This is what he's been dreaming of for months. 

Khan shushes him with kisses, when he thinks James might be getting too loud. He wishes he didn't need to dampen the sounds, since they work both to inflame him and stroke his ego. "Soft, my James," he murmurs. "I don't want any unexpected company because they're afraid I'm breaking you." 

Though, isn't it the danger of getting caught that makes it a little bit kinky? Jim thinks so. Not that he'd ever want them to get caught, but the danger is there. He bites at Khan's lower lip and tugs it between his teeth playfully, almost a punishment for shushing him. "I don't break that easily." 

"I know that," Khan says with an evil smile, "but the guards wouldn't." He cants his hips to press directly into James' prostate for several sharp thrusts, wanting to give him an extra reason to make noise. And to enjoy himself.

"Fuck!" Jim hisses as loud as he dares, and all the ensuing cries are muffled by his teeth sinking into the back of his hand. He unlocks his grip on Khan's hips, planting his feet against the mattress instead, lifting his ass a little and forcing Khan in deeper. He's so fucking hard now that the temptation to stroke himself is almost too much to resist. 

Khan slows again, teasing now with painstaking movements that nearly lift James off the bed. He lowers himself enough to allow James' cock to rub over the perfect washboard of his abdomen, another deliberate tease.

Jim can barely stand it. He's caught between whimpering and shouting, writhing underneath him as he tries to turn those teases into something more. "Fucking incubus," he accuses, reaching down to grab onto Khan's ass, squeezing hard. "Stop teasing." 

"Incubus," Khan echoes. "Is that what I am, my James? A creature designed to live off of sex with you? Mmmm. I could do that. Drag it out as long as possible. Make your whole body need release and refuse to give it to you." 

"It's supposed to be love, not torture," Jim reminds him, giving his ass another firm squeeze. "You're supposed to make me feel good, not make my cock fall off."

Khan laughs softly and says, "Yes, that would be cruel of me. But if I am an incubus, as you say, I would not care for that." He picks up the pace again, moving hard and fast now. "Fortunately for you," he says between moves, "I am merely a man in love."

Jim can't resist anymore. He reaches between them to grasp his cock firmly and stroke in time with Khan's thrusts. He knows he won't last long, but he knew he wouldn't anyway. It's been so long since he last had proper sex that his stamina has been shot to hell. "Fuck, Noonien. That's good! Just a little harder, baby." 

Khan growls and reaches between them to grab James' hand and move it away from his cock, fingers intwining. "You really need the extra help to come, when I am inside you and we have not been together for so long? I am insulted."

"Prove me wrong, then," Jim dares playfully, squeezing his fingers around Khan's and squeezing his ass around Khan's cock at the same time. He knows he doesn't need the extra, not when Khan fucks him like he's trying to break the bed. 

"I will, if you stop being so damned impatient," Khan sneers with pure, dripping lust and charisma. He pins both of James hands above his head and angles his hips to take the most pleasurable and deepest strokes possible. "You will come for me." 

"Oh my God," Jim whimpers, so turned on by Khan dominating him like this. He spreads his legs like a whore, arching his back and trembling from the constant barrage against his prostate. His cock aches, he's so hard, and just when he thinks he can't possibly take any more, Khan makes him come hard enough to put spots in his vision. 

Khan loves the whimper out of James' mouth and fucks him through his climax, spreading the seed everywhere as James just keeps spilling. He pauses when James stops, letting him shudder beneath him for a few moments, before picking up speed again. 

Jim uses that break to try to catch his breath and relaxes completely when his lover starts moving once more, waiting for his nerves to reset. He knows Khan can keep going and is more than happy to let him, but needs a minute or so to let his world stop spinning and put his spine back together. 

"Are you well, my James?" Khan asks softly, taking his pleasure now in deep, even strokes. "You're so good. So warm and tight. Love every minute with you." 

"Mm, yeah. I'm good. Really good." Jim reaches up to grasp at Khan's shoulders, stroking along the smooth skin, feeling strong muscle underneath. "Just take what you need, baby." 

Khan nibbles at his neck and under his chin, before sealing their mouths lightly. He trails gentle fingers down his sides and then eases himself out of James' body. He spreads his knees on either side of James' narrow hips and takes himself in hand, stroking hard and fast. In a fast moment, he shoots all over James' chest and abdomen, spreading it thoroughly around. "Yes, you're really good." 

"Oh, you sneaky bastard," Jim says as soon as he realizes what Khan is doing, and then he laughs, really not minding the mess as much as he should. "Look at me now. I'm filthy." 

"Filthy, yes," Khan purrs, low and rumbly. He leans down and presses his lips over one nipple and then the other. Then he eases himself on his elbows and begins to clean up the mess, the mingled spill from them both. 

Jim enjoys the ministrations, lazily watching Khan clean up both of their messes and wondering how the hell the man manages to look so sexy all the damn time. It should be illegal. It's probably some sort of magic, though. That's the only plausible explanation. 

Khan enjoys the act, taking in all of the evidence of their pleasure, so that James does not have to leave filthy. A bit of dishevelment around the edges may not be preventable, but he won't be otherwise marked. "My lovely James," he rumbles, getting the last traces. "We still taste delicious, too."

Jim grins a little, looking somewhat mischievous. "I have to admit, I kinda like it when you come all over me, especially if you're going to clean it up afterwards like you're licking off chocolate mousse." 

"Normally, I will let it stay and let it mark you as mine," Khan says, "but for now, I shall make an exception." He shares their flavors with a long kiss, tongue going deep into James' mouth. "We have but a little time left."

Jim licks all the flavor off of Khan's tongue and then sucks on it a little more for good measure. "Just lie with me for a while, then? I don't want to waste any of the time we have." 

"Shall we get dressed, so as not to be surprised?" Khan asks, shifting to curl around James, tucking him to his chest. "I would not wish to put you in jeopardy." A few minutes earlier, he would have just ripped apart whoever dared interrupt. But that is something James will never know.

"You're probably right," Jim laments. "We should get dressed and tidy this bed up so it doesn't look like we were fucking like rabbits." 

"Not rabbits," Khan says. "Sex-starved wolves." He nips James' lower lip and drags his teeth over it. "I would like to be locked to you physically for hours."

"Probably a good thing you can't actually knot me, huh? I'd have to buy a harness to hook us together so you could walk around with your cock lodged in my ass," Jim replies with a laugh. 

Khan snorts and rolls his eyes, feeling lighter than he has in months. He fetches his clothes and pulls them on quickly, before grabbing his captain's and slowly helping him back into them. "You always say the most charming things."

"I know. I have a silver tongue." Jim squirms back into his boxers and pants, and lifts his arms so Khan can help him get his shirt and tunic back on. "I should be a poet."

"Well, you have the degenerate part of it down," Khan says and tugs James' tunic roughly over his head, making a mess of his hair.

Jim automatically tries to smooth his hair back down, but there's no denying that it's seen better days. It's just a good thing he tends to look better the more mussed he is. "No more than you." 

"I'm perfectly fine with that." Khan says and tugs James back to the mattress to curl around again. "Mine."

"Yours. Completely and totally." Jim hooks right around him again, tangling their legs together and sliding his arms around Khan's waist. 

"We have but ten minutes," Khan says. "I shall be better for this time we have had, my James. Although perhaps I would have spent more just holding you close."

"Only a few months until we can be together again, though." Those few months might seem a little longer because of this, but it will be worth it in the end. "You'll still have to show me whatever tricks Spock told you about." 

Khan makes a soft noise under his breath and nuzzles James tenderly. "I will show you many things, my James. And be glad for them."

"I'm already looking forward to it," Jim murmurs, trying not to pay attention to the time ticking by. It always seems to go by so quickly when you don't want it to. 

"When shall you call again?" Khan asks, knowing for awhile he can be content with only their normal messaging. He owes the older Spock for this and wonders what the price will be. Worth it, no matter.

"I'll call as soon as I can after we leave Earth. Should be Wednesday night, I think." The blond buries his nose against Khan's neck, wanting to remember what his lover smells like after he's left here, and he just closes his eyes and breathes.

"I shall await that moment eagerly, my James, as always I do," Khan says. "If you speak with the elder Spock, please to convey my sincere best wishes. I owe him...and should like to know him better."

"I'm glad to hear that. It'd make me happy if the two of you were friends." Jim nibbles at Khan's neck and then down along his collarbone. "I think he'll be a good influence on you." 

Khan makes a face and says, "Don't get carried away. I do not intend to let anyone influence me...aside from you." He rumbles contentedly at the nibbles and then returns the favor, before sinking his teeth in below the collar line, taking Jim up on his offer.

"Well, you never know what you could learn from--" Jim cuts himself off with a deep groan as Khan bites him. That will serve as a nice reminder of their time together. 

Khan growls deeper at the groan and then lifts his head to licks at the spot tenderly. "My James," he says. "What should I learn?"

"All the sex tips he'll give you," Jim says with a gentle tease, biting lightly at Khan's jaw. 

"Oh yes. I definitely need help learning to please you." Khan scrapes his teeth playfully over Jim's jaw. 

"Hey, if Spock decided he had sex tips to give me on you, I'd take 'em," the blond retorts with a quiet laugh. 

"If he does, I'd question his sanity," Khan grumbles and sucks at his left earlobe, humming under his breath. 

Jim whines a little, clinging to his lover. "I wish we had time to have sex again." 

"I'm not the one who set the reasonable time limit," Khan growls. "I believe that was you." He presses a wet kiss to his neck, up and down the length.

"No, that was him. You really think I'd think ninety minutes was enough?" Jim tips his neck to make sure Khan has maximum access, tugging at his tunic to keep it out of the way. 

"Oh," Khan murmurs and seals his mouth to another section of Jim's neck, beneath the collar. He makes a darker mark there, sucking fiercely and using teeth.

That makes Jim practically purr, arching up against him, unable to hide the way he's growing hard again. "Fucking tease."

Khan calculates and says, "About five minutes left. Hmmm." He moves quickly and yanks down James' pants and briefs, exposing him to the air. Like a cobra, he darts forward and swallows all of that lovely cock down. He sucks and sucks and sucks and tries to bring James off as fast and explosive as possible.

 _Oh, holy mother of God._ Jim arches up, biting into his hand again to keep from crying out too loudly when he's suddenly swallowed whole. 

Khan knows exactly what he's doing, sucking Jim in all the right ways to drive the blond crazy with pleasure, and well before those five minutes are up, Jim is once again lying in a panting heap, spine having turned to dust sometime during his orgasm.

Khan swallows everything and then puts James back to right, before curling around him again, purring smugly. He loves how well he can give his lover pleasure and revels for the moment in that ability, before kissing him gently in farewell. "The guards will be here in a minute. We should act official."

"Can't. Brain gone. Words hard." Jim lets his hands drift to Khan's hips, stroking over them affectionately. He does understand that their time is almost gone, though, and he lets that kiss linger. "You're going to have to let me up." 

Khan lifts him up, carries him to the table and chairs they've supposedly been using the whole time. He sets James down, before quickly making the bed army neat (like it was before) and taking the other seat. "It's good of you, Captain, to take such a kind interest in me," he says formally, but with a low hint of a purr.

Jim tries not to chuckle as Khan carries him, but has to admit, it's nice having a boyfriend that can lift him so easily. He falls easily into the act, as they've done so many times before on their monitored calls. "Like I said, if you're going to be on my crew, I need to get to know you better." And there's definitely an innuendo in there. 

"As you say, Captain," Khan says, as the door opens behind them. He stands without needing to be asked. "I am certain we will get to work together well." He turns to go with the guards, refusing to look back. 

Jim stands up when Khan leaves, watching him as he disappears from sight. Even though he knows he'll be seeing him again in a couple of days, the distance between them will be vast. It's difficult not to look slightly disappointed.


	15. Prison Break

It's been five weeks, give or take, since Jim visited Khan on Earth. Things have been good, although it's hard remembering that night they shared and being unable to touch his lover again. 

Still, the clock is ticking down on how much time is left until they can be together again. Two months, three weeks. And Jim should be back on Earth with a month to spare, hopefully. 

So, he's in fairly good spirits when he heads down to New Vulcan to visit Spock, and he's even humming a little to himself when he knocks on the Vulcan's door. 

Spock opens the door with a much sterner face than he usually greets Jim with. "Jim," he says, "I am glad to welcome you. Please come in. I fear I have some news which may not be as welcome." 

That's not what Jim was expecting and it makes him frown. "What happened?" He thinks maybe there was an accident on New Vulcan somewhere, so he steps inside and closes the door behind himself. "Are you alright?" That's his main worry. 

"I am well, Jim. Your concern, however, is edifying." Spock moves to pour his guest some tea. "Please, Jim, sit and have some tea. I will tell you what little I know."

"Nobody died, right?" That's Jim's next concern. He hates getting bad news that's not just spit out right away. He sits down and sips a little at the tea, but he's not particularly interested in it. 

"I do not know," Spock says. "There was a breakout attempt at the prison where Khan is being held. The situation was still not resolved when last I received an update. Dr. Boyce calls me when there is pertinent news." 

"What?!" Jim asks, alarmed. "Is Khan okay?! Was he involved?@" Shit, this is really not good. Jim just hopes that Khan didn't try anything drastic. The Augment hadn't seemed particularly distressed when they'd last talked, so Jim likes to think that means good things. 

"I do not know, Jim," Spock admits. "Dr. Boyce assured me he would call as soon as he heard more." He steeples his fingers together. "I do not believe there is any reason to think Khan would attempt escape at this juncture. Do you?"

Jim's frown deepens, but he shakes his head. "He didn't say anything about it or hint at it. He seemed alright with things. You know, looking forward to getting out."

"And he would tell you if he was planning an escape?" Spock asks, somehow knowing that he would. "Or speak of anything that was troubling him?"

"Yeah. At least, I think he would. I'm pretty damn sure he wouldn't try to escape unless something happened." Like thinking Jim was dead, but there'd been no accidents on his end lately. 

Spock nods and says, "I concur, Jim. However, I cannot logically think of many other prisoners who might so successfully orchestrate an attempt to escape a Starfleet maximum security prison." 

"Still, we can't assume it's him. So, that was all the information you got? Nothing else?" 

"Assumption is illogical," Spock says. "However, several large explosions have been reported in the same cell block where Khan is being held." 

Jim wants to get up and pace around, but he's trying to keep calm here. Khan is fine. **Khan is fine.**

....Nope. 

"I need to go make some calls," Jim says and stands up. He needs to find out what the hell is going on. 

Spock raises an eyebrow and says, "We can call Dr. Boyce again, if you wish. Who else will you call, Jim? We must wait until the situation has been resolved, one way or another."

The blond knows Spock is right, but it's hard waiting... He sinks back into the chair and toys with his cup of tea. "He said he would update you when he had more information, right?"

"Of course," Spock says. "You are free to wait here until we hear from him. I know waiting has never been easy for you." He offers a comforting squeeze to Jim's right shoulder, a move born of years of learning to be comfortable with the gesture.

"Thanks. I just hope he calls soon. Waiting sucks." Jim's already bouncing his knee impatiently, and he's got nothing better to do than sip at his tea, so that's what he'll do. 

"I would offer you some alternative ways to spend the time, if I thought they might be productive," Spock says. He then gestures toward his computer. "Illogical it may be, but I know you must try to get through to someone and determine what has happened. You may use my console to do so."

There's no way Jim will pass up that offer, so he immediately zips over to the computer. "You really do know me well." He opens up the comm system and dials the number he normally uses to connect with the jail, but no one answers. It redirects to the automated system that simply says that all of their operators are busy. Jim hangs up when it starts listing their calling hours for visitors. A call to Boyce doesn't get an answer, either, and that worries Jim even more. He has to remind himself that hearing nothing is not the same as proof that something did happen to Khan. 

Spock sets a mug of hot cocoa, along with some of the fruit slices Jim likes, next to the human and says, "A check of the news may be of some logical use at this time. Starfleet cannot hide that something has gone on." 

Jim's already pulling up the news feeds as Spock says that, and he absently takes a sip of the hot chocolate. It's a lot better than the tea, and he actually takes another sip before he sets it down again. "They can actually put a stop on some of the information going out if they think it will incite panic. Like, you know, Khan escaping." 

"It is possible," Spock concedes. "However, they may have some relevant information. And Starfleet Command may have issued a formal statement by this time."

Jim skims over headlines, checking the content inside to see if anything relates to Khan. "It's all so vague. Just mentioned 'an inmate'. No names. God, I hate that." 

Spock nods and asks, "Do they mention any casualties?" 

"Not that I can see, but that could have been left out, too." It just makes Jim more antsy and he's right back to bouncing his knee up and down. 

Spock nods and says, "Then there is nothing logical left to do except wait, as difficult as that may be. I recommend you find an activity to become involved in, and I will comm you as soon as Dr. Boyce reaches me."

"Bones usually gets mad at me when I bury myself in work, and you're recommending it, huh?" Jim's not complaining, nor does he disagree. He probably should go find something to do instead of waiting.

"The alternative is to spend the day watching you pace my domicile and rant," Spock says with the weary wisdom of one who witnessed said event many times. 

"I'm not half as bad as Bones," Jim says in meager self-defense. He knows he can go off on rants sometimes. "Can't say I can't take a hint, though. I'm going, I'm going." He stands up, finishes the last of his hot chocolate, steals a couple of the fruit slices, and heads for the door. "I'll see you later."  
~~~~~~~~~~~

The beep of the comm rouses Spock from his meditations, and he hurries over to the console. When Dr. Boyce's face appears on the screen, he sends a quick summons to Jim, half-sorry to disturb his rest, but glad also that news has arrived.

Jim had returned after nightfall the previous day, even more agitated by the lack of news. All Spock could offer was some updates from the official news and a nutricious dinner. After that, he did his best to keep his friend occupied until the early hours of the morning, still without word. By the time Jim finally headed to the guest room to try and sleep, the first beams of dawn were lighting the windows.

But here, at last, was Dr. Boyce, looking tired and rough around the edges, but also pleased.

"It is gratifying to hear from you, Dr. Boyce," Spock says. "Captain Kirk is most eager for any news you may have."

Dr. Boyce's face split into a smile, and he says, "I can do one better, Mr. Spock, though perhaps we should wait for Captain Kirk."

"Indeed," Spock says and presses a button on the console to alert his guest.

The alert to his computer wakes Jim with a start. He's groggy and exhausted, but anxious to find out what's going on. He stumbles out of his bedroom and off to find Spock, shirt half-on and pants barely zipped up, feet sockless and hair a complete mess. 

"Spock?" he asks, trying to locate him, but he can hear the talking so he heads in that direction, poking his head into the room. As soon as he sees who's on the comm, though, he rushes over. "Boyce! What happened? Is Khan okay?" 

Dr. Boyce smiles at Jim and says, "How about he tells you for himself?"

Khan moves into view as Dr. Boyce leaves, ragged around the edges, with a large burn still marring most of the right side of his face, but eyes warm and expression calm. "Captain, it is good to see you."

Jim's eyes go a little wide at the injury and it takes a lot of willpower to resist reaching out to touch the screen. "What happened? Are you alright?" He's so glad to see Khan, but to see him injured is difficult. It makes Jim's chest feel tight and his gut coil uncomfortably. 

"I will soon be well, Captain," Khan assures him. "A number of Marcus' closest associates, aided by a few of the guards and with other outside assistance, attempted to break out of the prison." 

"They may even have succeeded, had not their goals also included killing Mr. Singh," Dr. Boyce says from the background. "He put down the escape attempt, though several wings of the building were severely damaged and one part collapsed completely."

Holy shit, Jim thinks, though he doesn't say that out loud, if only for the sake of the elderly. He wants to hurt people for trying to kill Khan, but he knows he has to keep his reaction in check. He hasn't told Boyce their little secret, and he's not going to. He likes the man and trusts him, but the fewer people that know, the better. 

"I'm glad to hear that you're alright, Khan, and it's good to know that you kept dangerous people from getting back out on the streets. Thank you for that." How very diplomatic and completely not what he actually wants to say, which runs more along the lines of, _I love you. Please don't die on me._

Khan's mouth goes flat and his eyes darken into their old icy pools. "I would have helped in any case, Captain, but it did not do any harm when I realized they were Marcus' minions. I recognized several of them immediately."

Dr. Boyce says, "Due to Mr. Singh's intervention, casualties were kept much lower than they would have been otherwise and none of the parties who attempted to escape were successful. He even rescued a few of the escapees when one of their bombs exploded early and took half a wall down on them. It's when he was burned."

Khan glances over at Dr. Boyce, hoping the man will not elaborate further on the extent of his injuries. He does not want James riled when he cannot do anything.

Jim takes the information fairly well, except for that last piece. Likely, it's only Spock that will notice how his hand clenches on the back of the chair he's leaning over. "How badly were you burned?" He needs to know. He's pretty damn sure it's not just Khan's face. If he was in an explosion, there would definitely be more than that. 

"I will be well, Captain," Khan repeats again, leaning in a little toward the screen.

"Over seventy percent of the his body received third-degree burns," Dr. Boyce says. "It's one of the reasons we have not been able to contact you until now. There was a lot of emergency medical work to be done to many inmates and guards, as well as administrative staff. And then I waited until Mr. Singh was well enough to call you himself."

Jim is trying very valiantly not to freak out, but his brows still furrow and he frowns a little. "That's a bad burn." Jim would know. He's been in explosions. "How are you healing up, Khan?" Fuck, Jim wants to be over there right now, caring for him and holding him and just making sure he's alright. Being on another planet entirely is killing him. 

Now that he knows some of the truth, Khan feels it is best not to lie about how he's doing. "There is still some pain, Captain, now that the moment is long past. I do not even remember being burned exactly, as I was focused on other things. But it is bearable. Well you know that I have a high pain tolerance."

Dr. Boyce says, "I'm sure you know by now that Khan's physiology resists a lot of our drugs, so that we had trouble keeping him under during surgery or treating his pain now."

Khan tries not to grind his teeth, as the kindly doctor makes everything worse. He is a good man, but does not know how much James will fret.

As much as he appreciates Boyce's honesty, it makes him that much more uncomfortable knowing that Khan's in pain, and that he's undergone surgery, and Jim wasn't there by his side when it happened. He feels so fucking useless. 

"Please make sure you pass on anything you discover about his medical care to Doctor McCoy," Jim replies, tone as level as possible, although both Spock and Khan's delicate hearing might pick up the faint tremble. "Khan, I truly hope you get well soon. You did well. I'll be glad to have you serving on board my ship." 

"If there is any good that might be said to come from this, Captain," Khan says, "it is that Starfleet officials have been...warmer to me this day."

"Don't speak so obtusely, Khan," Dr. Boyce scolds. "They are more than grateful. I will work in all ways I can to ensure that this means Mr. Singh is released into your hands on the very first moment he is due for parole. I think at last Starfleet Command is ready to comply."

That news does manage to make Jim smile a little, although some of it has to do with Khan getting scolded for being obtuse. He definitely is. "That's great. I should be back on Earth in a month and a half and I can start making preparations then." 

Khan's eyes tell James clearly that a month and a half without him is far too long. Can he not make an emergency trip over to see his wounded Khan? But his mouth says with little inflection, "I am eager, Captain, to be released into your custody. Today was the most change of scenery I have had in over eight months, but I can scarcely say I enjoyed any of it."

Jim's already planning an emergency trip, Khan, don't you worry. "I can't say I blame you. I'm glad to see you're well and that your recovery will be swift. You'd better get back to resting, though. You still look a little haggard."

That, and Jim wants to get on a shuttle headed for Earth right now. 

Khan blinks at James, a little hurt that he seems to be rushing him off the call. He had looked forward to this since the day started so badly. "I am well enough, Captain."

Jim looks at Khan, hoping the Augment will catch the worry, will catch that he wants to get over there and hold him instead of talking to him on a stupid screen. "Okay. Just don't over-exert yourself." 

Khan reads his eyes with skill born of practice and then nods slowly. "Very well, Captain, if you truly wish me to rest, I shall head back to my temporary lodgings. They have me under very tight guard still." He barely refrains from a roll of the eyes, something he picked up from James.

"No doubt. You need protection right now because you're injured. Would put a detail on you myself, if I could," Jim says with a smile, trying to reassure Khan that everything will be alright. 

"They tried to kill me," Khan says and his complete lack of being impressed rings in every word. In fact, he is clearly taken aback by that kind of stupidity. "They might have escaped."

"Well, we thrive on people making stupid mistakes like that and underestimating us, don't we?" Jim kind of relies on that, actually. 

Khan growls under his breath and says, "I am not sure my current status is thriving." He glances over at Dr. Boyce and adds, "But I owe my thanks to the Starfleet Medical staff. They did treat me well."

You're alive, and you did a fantastic job. I can't ask for more than that from any member of my crew." Jim looks over at Boyce and gives him a smile. "Thank you. I owe you one." 

"Our pleasure, Captain," Dr. Boyce says. "We'll continue to take good care of him. Speaking of which, Khan, Captain Kirk is right, you need more rest."

Khan looks like he swallowed a lemon. He huffs like a small child at Dr. Boyce and says, "I am a fully grown augment. I am well aware of my own limitations and have nowhere near reached them."

Jim has to bite his lip to keep from grinning at Khan's petulant attitude. It helps to reassure him that Khan really will be alright. "We don't want you to reach your limits before you rest," he points out. "The more you sleep, the faster you'll heal." 

Khan turns the grumpy look on James, but says, "Very well, if I am to be pressed on all sides. I am glad to have spoken with you, Captain, if only briefly."

"I'm sure we'll speak more soon, Khan. Get some rest." And Jim does mean very soon. He doesn't care what it takes, he's shipping his ass back to Earth for a day or two. 

Khan nods once and says, "As you wish, Captain. I shall speak with you soon." He reaches out and turns off the communication with a hand that obviously shakes and is rather well, gruesome. 

The screen goes black between them.

Spock puts a hand on Jim's shoulder and squeezes. "It would seem most logical now that we both have faith in this Khan Noonien Singh."

Nope. That view of Khan's hand clinches it for Jim. "Thanks for the hospitality, Spock," he says as he heads for the door, straightening his shirt and ensuring his pants are all the way fastened. He slips into his boots and checks that his communicator is on his belt. It doesn't matter that it's God-awful o'clock in the morning, Jim's going to go get a shuttle. 

"Captain," Spock says, trailing after him, "it is only logical to assume that you mean to race back to Earth and see Khan. Perhaps I may assist you."

"Spock," Jim says as he turns around. "You've done so much for me already. I can't ask any more." He doesn't want to be a burden on anybody, especially somebody he's already indebted to. 

"So, you would not have use for a small personal transport and a chance to see Mr. Singh alone?" Spock asks with one of his half smiles.

"....You are seriously my most favorite person right now." Jim doesn't even know what else to say. 

"My counterpart's father, Sarek, owns a small transport vessel. I will contact him while you go to the spaceport and then contact Dr. Boyce and Starfleet Command while you are on your way to Earth. Mr. Singh is owed at least this much, as you are...Jim."

"Thank you, Spock. I owe you. Really. You ever need anything, you let me know, okay?" And then Jim's out the door and jogging towards the port.


	16. Another Visit

Khan prepares for another boring, lonely night in his current quarters near the prison's Sickbay. Dr. Boyce used his medical authority, with the agreement of the prison's own top physician, to secure Khan the private room, with security confined to outside. He is still unsure as to when he will be moved back to the main prison, especially with the cell block that was his current home a mass of rubble.

His injuries are healing well, though they are still discolored and unpleasant. Especially so right now, as they itch something terrible with the new skin growth. His fingers twitch toward them often and only his tremendous force of will keeps him from tearing them open again with eager fingernails. Still, he wears only a loose pair of sleep pants and no shirt or socks, eager to keep his sensitive new skin from any irritation.

The door opens in the dark and a figure slips in, careful and quiet, and then the door closes again, shutting out the light from the hallway. 

"You awake?" comes a voice, whispered, but unmistakably belonging to Jim. It took him nearly 26 hours to travel here, and when he arrived, it was nearly two in the morning San Francisco time. That didn't stop him. He made his way into the prison and into Khan's private room, silent as he could. 

Khan slides out of bed with all his augmented speed and into James, forgetting his injuries in his delight. He seals their mouths together, knowing there are no others present and the room is free of surveillance, thanks to Dr. Boyce. His arms wrap tight around James' waist, as he simply drinks him in, tongue hot and demanding. "My James," he whispers, when he finally allows the other man a breath. "My clever, clever James." He does not allow for an answer, but kisses him again, beginning to back toward the bed.

"Hi--" Jim can't even get the rest of his greeting out before he's smothered with kisses and returning them just as eagerly. He's happy to see Khan again, and maybe this event is a blessing in disguise. Yes, Khan's injured, but Jim gets to see him in person again. 

He feels Khan pushing him back toward the bed and goes with it, mostly because he doesn't want to resist and accidentally end up hurting him. He doesn't know the extent of Khan's injuries, only that he's still healing and he needs to be gentle with him. 

Khan frees his mouth again, eager to explore James' face with soft kisses, humming softly to himself. "Tell me, my clever Captain, how you have managed this? And how long do I have you for this time?" He presses his face into the join of shoulder and neck and inhales his scent, family and love and home and his.

"Ambassador Spock helped. Dr. Boyce, too. I'm seriously going to owe those two Christmas cards." Jim catches Khan's face gently in his hands and pulls him up for a tender, sweet kiss. "Lights, forty percent," he orders, blinking a little as the room lights up dimly. "Let me have a look at you, baby." He doesn't really want to see the injuries, but needs to know how bad things are. 

Khan steps back to allow James to see, knowing he looks worse than he feels. A few of the worst burns remain hideous, marring skin in large patches on his chest and shoulders. His hands have largely healed, though they are somewhat discolored, but steady now. His face still bears faint marks, but they look more like bruises. His back is a mess, having taking the brunt of the explosion and later, having been used to help prop up and move large pieces of fallen building off trapped people. His legs are covered, save his feet, which look well enough.

"I am not easy on the eyes," Khan says softly, "but I assure you, James, I am in little pain. And all of that is forgotten with you here. We owe Dr. Boyce and Mr. Spock much more than cards."

Jim's quiet as he looks over Khan, but his distress is obvious. He can't help but think about what might have happened. Burns like that aren't far from fatal...even for an augment. He steps forward to close the distance between them, wraps Khan in a hug, mindful of his wounds, and quivers slightly at the thought of losing him. It makes his chest ache and his voice tight. "You can't ever die on me. You're not allowed."

"I am notoriously difficult to kill, as well you may remember," Khan soothes, pressing a kiss to his crown and wrapping his own arms around James. "However, I promise to try my best to stay with you always." He basks for a moment in the knowledge of how much he is valued and then tips James' head up for another tender kiss. "Come to bed with me?"

Jim takes a few deep breaths to calm himself again and then he nods. "Okay. Come on, then." He takes Khan's hand with such care, like he's afraid he'll break it if he squeezes too hard, and leads his lover back to the bed. "You sure there's room for two?" Not that they couldn't make room. 

"If we are as close as I wish us to be, then the room is plentiful," Khan purrs and climbs easily on the bed, scooting over to make room for his lover. "Do you wish to touch?" He knows that may make it easier for James to believe that his will survive and heal fully. He beckons with his better hand, fingers curling invitingly to get James to join him.

Jim strips out of his tops and kicks off his boots, climbing into the bed with Khan, careful not to elbow or knee him. "I always want to touch," he says, but he's so, so very careful when he ghosts his fingers over the discolored skin of Khan's side, still red and angry. Jim's own side aches a little in empathy. 

Khan shivers at little as those fingers touch his damaged skin and uses his left hand to trace James' face and neck with his own tender care. "You rushed all this way to see that I was truly healing? I would not lie to you about such a thing, my James. I would not hurt you like that." He caresses the shell of his ear. "I thought of nothing except you when the walls of my cell suddenly collapsed around me and the world went to a red Hell."

Jim closes his eyes and tucks himself against Khan, just feeling that he's there and alive and in one piece, and that he really will be fine. "I didn't want to leave you all alone out here, knowing you were hurting." He shivers a little more when Khan talks about the collapse, spikes of anxiety at hearing how close things truly had been. 

Khan folds himself around James, offering comfort and love, while soaking up his presence. "I cannot express how well it is to see you, hold you, my James. There is nothing for it in all the known universe, and I would venture in all the universe, however vast and unknowable." He nuzzles into his soft hair, breathing in even more deeply. "How I love you."

"You're a sap," Jim says with a smile. "But I love you, too. So much." He presses kisses to Khan's collarbone, careful of seared skin, and runs his fingers in featherlight touches along Khan's back, tracing the wounds. "I didn't answer your question earlier: I've got two days. Special treat for your good behavior and to build positive relations to further your rehabilitation. Or something." 

Khan laughs softly and says, "The elder Spock is a most devious and well-spoken person. It is unwise to underestimate his cunning, for I do believe he could sweet talk the birds from the trees." He makes a soft noise as the venturing fingers encounter the worst of his wounds on his back and shifts slightly away. "Forgive me, that is not a nice place for your touch. It is not quite...dry."

"I'm sorry." Jim immediately draws his hand away and kisses at Khan's jaw in apology. He'll keeps his hands to himself for now if he's not entirely sure where is safe to touch. He doesn't want to cause any pain. "I can, um... I can ask Boyce if I can help with your care tomorrow." 

Khan tilts his head and says, "You are more than kind, my James. I would very much prefer your touch to that of an impersonal and nervous medical staffperson." He catches James' hands, balling them in his own, and kisses each knuckle. "You did not hurt me. That spot is simply...disgusting." He makes a face.

"I don't care if it's gross. That doesn't bother me." Jim's seen oozing and pus-filled wounds, and getting a little slimy is far from his list of firsts. "I just want you to be okay. Whatever you want me to do, however I can help, just tell me and consider it done." 

"I should like very much to be allowed to just kiss you for a long while," Khan purrs, tracing James' plush mouth with one finger. "I fear I am not up for much more than that, but it would give me immense pleasure." He pauses and says, "The right side is easiest for me to lie on right know. My posterior is a bit... crispy."

That admission makes Jim cringe and his brows furrow. "Okay. We'll just stay like this, then." He shifts just enough to bring himself level with Khan and he leans in, pressing their lips together, and licks at Khan's lower lip to encourage him to open his mouth. 

Khan touches his chest with gentle fingers and refuses to deepen the kiss for the moment, wanting the more sweet touches. "You may not be able to touch me freely, my James, but please allow me to have you."

Right now, Jim would give Khan the moon if he asked for it, so he rolls over just enough to expose himself to the air, and Khan's sight. "Do whatever you want to me. I'm yours. All yours, in every way." 

Khan moves to rub his cheek against the length and breadth of James' torso, absorbing his scent and laying claim with his own. "Thank you, my James. You are a salve to me more than any medicine."

The blond smiles and reaches down, combing through Khan's hair carefully with his fingers. "I love you, baby. It doesn't matter if you end up with scars. I want you to know that, okay? It won't change anything." 

"That I could ever have ended up your baby," Khan murmurs into his warm abdomen and kisses with utmost tenderness, before practically fucking his bellybutton with a playful tongue.

"N-no!" Jim laughs and squirms a little, careful not to jostle Khan too much. "Stop that, you harlot!"

"Harlot?" Khan demands in delight, raising his head to look at James with one of his softest smiles, eyes crinkled at the corners. He lowers his head again to make the most out of that response.

Jim squeals quietly, trying not to let it tickle him, but failing. He really wishes he weren't quite so sensitive sometimes. "Evil!" He swats gently at his lover. 

"Quite," Khan says contentedly and then moves to make it up to him by locating a nipple to suck. He uses his oral talents more to Jim's pleasure there, even as he reached out to provide the other nipple with adequate attention via pinching, rolling, tugging fingers.

Jim makes a pleased sound and watches the Augment, smiling contentedly. "Are you trying to make me moan loud enough to let the guards know we're up to terrible things?" 

Khan approximates a wounded sigh and releases both nipples. "Killjoy," he announces and then settles his head over James' breastbone, shutting his eyes. "Thank you."

The blond runs his hands over whatever undamaged skin he can find. "Nothing to thank me for. I'm here for selfish reasons." 

"Tell me?" Khan asks quietly, reaching up to stroke James' blond hair. "I should like to hear them."

Jim licks at his lower lip, smile fading to a small frown. "I couldn't stand the thought of you being injured, staying in a hospital all alone, strangers tending to you." Jim hates hospitals. The only doctor he's ever trusted to operate on him is Bones. The thought of Khan potentially being scared and alone in some Starfleet hospital wing is unbearable. 

Khan's eyelids lower to half-mast, and he says, "That is the least selfish thing I have ever heard. The idea of my distress upset you, so you came to offer whatever comfort you might. I am indeed fortunate in my lover."

"You'd do the same for me," Jim says, absolutely sure of that. 

"I would," Khan says, "though I would be tempted to carry you off." He cups James' cheek and rubs a thumb over the soft skin. "Even against your protests."

"It's gonna be hard to leave here again," Jim admits. He turns his face to press his cheek against Khan's hand.

"There will still be too much time that I will be trapped inside walls," Khan says. "Though at least they will be different walls. That was one way to change the scenery."

"We just have to hang on a little more," Jim tries to assure him, taking Khan's hand so he can kiss the palm of it. "We'll be alright."

"I shall be all right, perhaps, but I will not be happy," Khan grumbles, curling his hand. "However. whatever else, perhaps this incident will soften the hearts of some admirals."

"I agree. I think we can use this to our advantage. Maybe I can even convince them to get you out a little early, offer to keep an eye on you personally until the Enterprise is ready to ship out." Jim smiles at that thought, hopeful that they could spend some quality time together.

"James, as much as I love your enthusiasm, let us not get too far ahead of ourselves," Khan says, though the idea also delights him. "Let us at least be sure of their intent to let me out at all."

The blond presses his finger against the tip of Khan's nose. "And don't be pessimistic. Can't have it if I don't ask for it, right?" 

"You are right," Khan agrees, "but I would first make certain of my release to you at the agreed upon time. After, speak of early." He moves to nip at the finger.

"I will. Trust me, I will." Jim tugs his finger away at the last second and then grins a little. "I can be persuasive."

"Well, I know," Khan says with his own smile. He reaches down to cup the bulge of James' groin, rubbing slowly. "I can be, as well."

"Oh, God." Jim whimpers a little. He can't resist Khan's touch, but it'll be torture to keep quiet. 

"You will allow me the pleasure, James?" Khan asks, squeezing the same spot. "Allow me to bring you off with my hand. I do so love to watch, even if I cannot reciprocate at the moment."

"You're already starting to make me hard and now you ask for permission? That practically counts as blackmail." Still, Jim's already unbuckling his belt and tugging it out of the way. 

Khan turns it up a little more and says in his most pathetic tone, "I am injured, my James."

"Be careful, or I'll think you're too injured to do anything," Jim warns. 

Khan purrs, "I can always watch." His eyes flicker over every part of James, devouring him by gaze alone.

"You want me to jerk myself off for you?" Jim asks. It's an offer, not an accusation. 

Khan licks his lips and nods once. "Please. But take your time. Show me everything."

"If someone walks in and I get caught with my pants down, I'm blaming everything on you," Jim teases, as he unzips his pants and wriggles out of them, taking his boxers off simultaneously. 

"My ears are unbroken," Khan reminds him, "and the view is mine." He will not tolerate letting anyone else see, if he can avoid it.

"Fair enough," Jim concedes with a smile, letting his hand trail down his abdomen, curling teasingly in his pubic hairs before moving further down to palm at his cock. 

Khan settles as comfortably as possible to watch his James with half-lidded contentment. This will suit his needs very well, especially since he cannot give James other satisfaction. "You are made so beautifully everywhere."

"It'll be even better when you're around to keep me in shape." Jim moans quietly as he uses his thumb and index finger to play with the head of his cock, slowly working it to life. 

"I see nothing in need of improvement," Khan counters. "All others pale in comparison, such that I do not even see them anymore." He reaches down to lightly tease the same spots James caresses. 

"You sure? That one guard posted outside your room is pretty damn attractive," Jim muses, though his breath hitches as he rubs a little circle against his frenulum. 

"Troublemaker," Khan growls and removes his hand. He rests his chin on James and watches avidly. "Have you done this alone on other nights, wishing we might be together?"

When I get too lonely, yeah. Mostly, I pretend that you're fucking me." Jim fists his cock now, stroking from base to tip firmly but slowly, getting a little harder with each pull. 

"My James should never have to be lonely," Khan murmurs and caresses his right cheek tenderly. "And when I am returned to you, never shall be."

The blond smiles and nuzzles against his lover. "Good." He rocks his hips up into his hand and his free hand moves down to cup his balls, squeezing them gently. He tries to make sure Khan has a good view of everything, and his moans are just loud enough for Khan to hear. 

Not touching isn't as much fun, but James is beautiful, and his pleasure makes Khan happy. He rumbles that contentment in the half-feral way of his, a way of sharing his delight with James. He watches him play with his balls and says, "I still plan to test how many times you can come before that lovely sack is empty."

"Is this before or after you show me Spock's sex tricks?" Jim breathes out a groan and ventures a little further down with his hand, rubbing at his perineum. He'll just keep stroking himself slowly from base to tip, working out the occasional bead of pre-come to smear it back down along his shaft until it's slick and he can stroke himself a little faster.

Khan rests a hand on James' and rubs little circles, as he watches his lover with warm eyes. "I can show you while I work you dry," he rumbles. "It will help me ensure that you come over and over again until you're spent." 

"Just so long as I don't get marked as unfit for duty after," Jim replies, though coherent sentences are getting more difficult. He's fully hard now, rocking up into his hand with rhythmic rolls of his hips. Having Khan right here, that amazing voice right in his ear, is making it tough for Jim to keep things slow. 

Khan snorts and then purrs, "Easy, James, easy. I don't want you to speed through this. You're so lovely in pleasure, cock hard and dripping between your hands. But you will slow down for me, won't you?" He's practically silky now, voice at its lowest pitch. "Let me enjoy every bit of you, James. Please." 

Jim whines a little, but lowers his hips back to the bed. "You just want to watch me torture myself, don't you, you sadist?"

Khan presses a kiss to James warm, soft skin and then makes a little love to the same spot with his mouth. "I do enjoy watching you." He trails his tender fingers up to James' mouth, stroking the lips. "Do you wish to finish yourself now, my James?"

Jim mewls at the magic Khan works on his skin and lets his head loll to the side, exposing his neck. "I can... I can hold on a little longer." He wants to, for Khan's sake, so he strokes a little slower and slides his other hand down to rub at his entrance, instead. 

"Please, James," Khan pleads, soft and low. "Please put your fingers inside yourself. Deep and slow. Press in until your lovely body swallows all of them."

"Well, when you ask so nicely..." Jim slicks his finger with his own pre-come and presses it back against his entrance, slowly working it inside one knuckle at a time.

Khan wishes so much that he could join James, but right now, he's still not quite enough himself. His wounds are still too disgusting to force on his lover, but he can touch and watch, and that will have to suffice. "Are you wishing that were me, my James, pressing warmly inside you and claiming that beautiful ass?"

"Always do," Jim moans, wriggling his finger inside himself before starting to work the second one in. "Your cock always feels good. So much better than my fingers." 

"James," Khan growls. "I want you so much. I want to be inside you. My James." He makes a disgruntled noise and bites down on the nearest spot. 

"Ah, fuck," Jim groans, pushing his fingers in deeper at the encouragement. He rubs against his prostate a little, whimpering at the sparks of pleasure, and strokes his thumb over the tip of his cock. "Noonien!"

"Yes, all right, my James," Khan murmurs. "Come now. Show me how good you feel. Please." 

Finally, Jim has that permission he desperately craves and fucks himself hard with his fingers, pushing them in as deep as they'll go and hitting his prostate every time. He strokes himself at the same frantic pace and slams his head back into the pillow as he comes, spurting all across his abdomen and biting back his whorish moan. 

"Oh, why must you hold back so much," Khan growls under his breath, grumpy about the fact that they had to be so quiet. He leans in to begin cleaning the soft skin.

Jim takes deep breaths, trying to calm his body back down, but that tongue on him feels nice against sensitive skin. "Because you're supposed to be asleep and I'm not supposed to be jerking off in your bed." 

Khan enjoys the salty tang of James and tugs him closer to make sure he can get every bit. If he cannot claim his lover's body, he will at least clean up and get to explore his passion that way. "Thank you," he breathes.

Jim smiles and lets out a deep sigh now that his body is starting to cool down a bit. "Me? I should be thanking you. I'm the one who got to come." 

"I enjoyed myself thoroughly, as well," Khan assures him, busy still nuzzling and kissing his lover. "And your company alone makes me feel better."

"That's what I'm here for." Jim rolls over so he can press himself against Khan, wrapping around him as much as he dares without touching anything too raw. "I just want you to be okay."

Khan cradles James to his chest and dots kisses over his face and neck, before fastening his mouth gently to the skin and sucking. He strokes his front and then slides his hands to cup his ass tenderly. 

Jim feels like a cat on a warm windowsill right now, being petted and stroked and loved, completely comfortable and as near to purring as a human can get. "You sure do know how to dote on me."

"I love you," Khan says in that completely calm way he has of speaking the words now, "and this is just one way I like to show it." He nuzzles into soft hair and kisses his crown again.

"Love you, too, baby. Lots." Jim tucks himself in against his lover and closes his eyes. "It was a long trip here. Mind if I sleep a little?" 

"I may find a little sleep myself if you do," Khan says, "and I can use some more rest." He presses in with his own sigh of contentment.

"Good. Sleep." Jim kisses lightly at Khan's jaw before he settles in and lets his breathing fall deep and even. It's not long before he's asleep.


	17. Little Beasts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, we went to the awwwww. We couldn't help it...

Khan wakes up later than he normally would, still healing wounds requiring him to rest. He finds James sleeping in his arms and kisses his crown tenderly, trying not to disturb him. Still, his wounds twinged uncomfortably and made him shift a little. He is used to pain, but these itch and pull in a way he is not familiar with. And soon, he will need to roust James from bed anyway, since the nurse will come with treatment for his burns. 

Jim wakes up slowly, tired from his middle-of-the-night panic and subsequent day-long trip back to Earth. Shuttle lag can be a bitch. "Is it time to get up?" he asks groggily. 

"I'm afraid the nurse shall be here soon with the salve for my burns," Khan says and tilts James' face up for a kiss. "Good morning, my James."

Jim gives him a quick peck and smiles. "G'mornin', handsome." He sits up and looks around, remembering where he is. "Right. Nurse. Guess that means I should get dressed."

Khan strokes down James' chest with the knuckles of his good hand and then says, "As much as I wish you didn't need to, I fear she will not understand, since you are apparently only my captain and nothing more."

"A safety measure for us both," Jim replies, though he frowns a little. He crawls out of the bed reluctantly, pulls his clothing on, boots and all, and cracks his neck. "I'll pretend I slept in the chair." 

"The way your body creaks, you may as well have," Khan says with a frown. "If I am released to your custody, I will make sure you treat yourself better. And give you massages to ease your pains and keep you from sounding like the Tin Man." 

Jim laughs a little and smiles. "Yeah? I miss your massages. I probably could have asked Spock for one, but he's getting old, you know? I don't want to find out after that he has arthritis, or something." His own Spock is totally out of the question. 

"You would not ask another for what is shared between us," Khan says with a grumpy scowl, even as he eases himself out of the bed. He grimaces slightly at the pull to his back, before there is a signal at the door. "Please wait a moment!" Khan calls and glances at James, shooing him toward the bathroom.

"No, I--" Jim sighs at the interruption and then skitters off to the bathroom, feeling suddenly like 'the other woman'. How awkward. 

Khan calls for the nurse to enter and then requests that she leave the salve for him to put on. They have a brief row, before she finally gives up in a huff. Then he calls, "Please come out, James."

"Am I gonna have to hide like that every time?" Jim asks as he steps out of his miniature solitary confinement. "It's not like they don't know I'm visiting." He looks at the salve Khan is holding and he tips his head to the side. "Is that what you're supposed to put on your burns?

"Yes, I asked the nurse to leave it, told her I could put it on myself," Khan says and then pauses. "I was hoping, my James, that you my help me. That is why I asked you to hide, so that I could make this request."

"Of course I'll help you. What do I have to do?" Jim reaches for the salve and peers at it, wondering if there are instructions on the jar. "Just a basic 'rub it in' sorta thing?"

"With a light touch," Khan says softly. "And with a strong stomach. Some of my body is not pretty. If you would prefer to allow the nurse to take care of the wounds, I will understand. They made me rather ill at first."

Jim snorts and gestures for Khan to make himself comfortable. "I hate it when people underestimate me," he replies as he unscrews the lid of the jar and sets it aside. "I had to stitch up my own cuts back before I had to join Starfleet. Couldn't exactly go to the hospital if something went wrong on one of my criminal escapades, even if I'd wanted to." 

Khan strips with quick efficiency and then heads for the bed, climbing on and lying on his front, allowing James to see the mess of back and legs and buttocks. "I did not mean to offend, my James," he vows.

Jim frowns a little at the damaged tissue, the skin mottled with angry shades of red. It really isn't pleasant to look at, but Jim's got a stronger stomach than to be put off by it. "I know. Don't worry about it." The blond dips his fingers into the jar, coating them with salve before he gently starts applying it to Khan's skin, starting with his upper thighs. 

Khan makes a soft sound, a cross between pain and pleasure, and then settles into the mattress. "Sometimes, I offend you unintended and you accuse me of thinking little of your abilities."

"How about you just worry about letting me know if something hurts too much, okay?" Jim slowly works his way up, rubbing the salve in with all the care in the world. He doesn't want to hurt Khan, and those wounds look pretty damn painful. 

"There is little that can be done, I'm afraid," Khan says with a hiss as James reaches his upper right thigh. "They are better than before. And your touch is always soothing."

Jim frowns a little more. "At least it doesn't look like anything's infected. Do they have you scheduled for time under the regenerator? 'Cause if not, they really should get you all bandaged up."

"I trust Dr. Boyce, James," Khan soothes. "I know I look a fright, but my natural abilities are quite well enough for healing my burns. They were bandaged at first, but that slowed the healing and caused me to itch even more intensely."

"I'm glad you trust him. He's a good doctor. Did you know he was the one who trained Bones when he was in the Academy?" Jim smiles a little, letting the chatter distract them away from the unpleasantness.

"So he told me," Khan says, amusement in his own tone. He grunts as James approaches his poor, abused ass. "That is not something I will hold against him, though."

Jim only hesitates marginally before he presses his ointment-coated fingers to his lover's rear. "I can't tell if you're insulting him or Bones."

Khan just grunts again at the touch and then says, "I suppose you'll never know, my James."

"So secretive," the blond chides as he works his way up. There are definitely some parts of Khan's skin here that are a little repulsive, but Jim says nothing about it and just smooths them over with cream as carefully as he can. 

Khan sighs and arches very slightly into the gentle touches, a low groan escaping him. "I am glad you have come now and not right after the accident. I was not a fit sight for any eyes and fear my behavior was somewhat...feral." 

"You know I like it when you're feral, baby," Jim soothes, moving to Khan's lower back. "You're hot when you're all growly."

"I was beyond pain by the time they found me, and only Dr. Boyce could keep me from attacking other people," Khan confesses. "You could have, though I would have reacted by wanting to protect you, too."

Jim can't help the smile, and he leans down, pressing a kiss to his lover's shoulder. "Nobody could blame you for being a little cagey."

"Cagey is not the word, my James, but we are fortunate Dr. Boyce is someone I have come to trust," Khan says and hisses as James finishes the area of his lower back. 

"Almost done. Hang in there." At least the majority of the burns are covered, though there are still some messy bits on Khan's upper back. "Meanwhile, you can think of what you want as a reward for lying still." 

"A reward?" Khan asks. "I believe you are the one who has earned that, my James. Your kindness means much to me." 

"Don't need a reward for helping you. I'd do it anyway." Jim's quick to finish with the burns on Khan's back, and then he lightly taps him on the shoulder. "If you want me to get your side, you're gonna have to roll over a little."

Khan nods and eases on his good side, reaching for James with one hand. "Come here, my James. I wish a kiss, if I may."

The blond smiles and obliges, leaning into press a soft kiss to his lover's lips. "You're so needy."

Khan catches his collar and pulls him in for a longer kiss, tongue gentle against James' lips, asking for entry. He pulls back for a moment to growl, "You best not leave me needy," before delving in again for more. 

Jim cups Khan's face, parting his lips to make way for the augment's tongue. While he wants to please him, he also wants to make sure he doesn't accidentally rub any of the ointment off, so he strokes Khan's cheek with his thumb as a gentle reminder that he needs to be careful.

Khan groans softly into the kiss, before releasing his mouth at the press of thumb. He scrapes his teeth over the lower lip and then says, "That is a sweet reward for me, my James, as I hope it is for you."

"Just being here is a reward." Jim gives him one more peck on the lips and smiles. "Now hold still while I finish up with you." He dips his fingers back into the ointment, smoothing it over Khan's hip and side, coating the ugly, red skin. 

"Yes, Captain," Khan purrs, a whole body rumble of delight. "Come on then, finish up with me, so I might start on you."

The blond laughs a little. "What are you planning to do to me?" He spreads the cream up the rest of Khan's side, and then he smears the remainer on Khan's cheek. "There."

Khan flinches a little from the touch to his face, a bit ashamed of his appearance. But then he eases himself up to reach for James and tugs him flat to bed, using his strength. "I believe you will enjoy it."

Jim grins a bit in response, wondering exactly what Khan has in mind. He doesn't fight the grip; he just shifts until he's comfortable and raises his eyebrows at his lover. "Oh no. What will I do?"

"Surrender," Khan growls and tugs him close for another kiss, letting this one linger. He eases up James' tunic and slides his fingers after, playing with the soft skin of his abdomen tenderly.

Jim lets out a quiet, submissive purr, completely willing to surrender to Khan. It's not really a loss, after all, when he gets love in return. He brushes his fingers through Khan's hair, gripping lightly at the base of his neck, and sighs contentedly. 

Khan rumbles his own deeper noise in answer, fingers still just exploring of their own free will. He takes his time mapping out the strong abdomen and up. He lingers in the center, spreading his digits and pressing his palm flat to cover as much skin as possible. One fingertip rubs just at the edge of the areola of James' left nipple. "I need this closeness," he murmurs. 

"Whatever you want, it's yours." Jim smiles up at him, feeling warmth spread through his whole body. Being intimate like this, even if it's not necessarily sexual, makes him happy, and that's something he never had before Khan came along. "Just don't abuse it. I'd find a way to give you the whole Alpha Quadrant if you asked." 

"I would do the same for you. If it were not within my power, I would make it so for your whim," Khan pledges and inches closer to suck at James' right earlobe, still touching him with aching tenderness.

The blond reaches down to set his hand on top of Khan's, idly tracing along the lines of bone and tendon. "Hey, I know I never really said this before, but... if you ever want to talk to me about anything that's bothering you, past or present, I'm here to listen, okay? Anything at all. What they did to you all those years ago, or what Marcus did, or even if you don't like the food you're getting. I'll listen." 

Khan nuzzles at James' hair, a little confused by the words, though they warmed him as well. "I know this. You have never implied any differently, my James. Would you like me to tell you?"

Jim turns his face into the nuzzling, biting gently at his lover's jaw. "I know, I just... wanted to make sure. Sometimes, I can seem like I don't care, and it's not true. So... yeah. If there's anything you wanna talk about, I'm all ears." 

"You shy from what is serious at times," Khan murmurs back, seeking out his mouth for the softest brush of lips, "but I have learned that this is only a way to hide your feelings. Not that you do not have them." He kisses James, reaching up to cup his cheek and hold him in place, while he steals the breath from his lungs.

"Mm," Jim moans quietly into the kiss, glad that Khan understands him so well. Jim has a hard time talking about serious things. He's always tried so hard to avoid it in the past. He could never tell his mother about how terrible Frank was, could never talk about his brother or the events of Tarsus IV, couldn't really talk about his father to anyone except Pike without getting pitying looks. He's been conditioned to bottle things up, keep them secret. He doesn't want Khan to have to do the same. Jim's careful when he wraps his fingers around the back of Khan's neck, stroking softly at the skin. This right here... This is good. 

"I do hope, my James," Khan whispers between their kisses, "that you know I would hear all of your troubles, as well. I would shoulder some of your burdens, as you have done for me."

"I do know that, baby. I do." The blond bites lightly at his lover's lower lip, and he smiles. 

Khan returns the smile and then sighs a little. "Dr. Boyce will come soon for my check-up and to go through our daily session. I am still displeased by them."

"I never liked therapy when I had to go through it, either," Jim replies, lifting his hand to run his finger down Khan's nose. "You're gonna have to let me up." 

"I do not wish to," Khan says with a petulant frown.

"I know." Jim kisses that pout. "Can't let them see us all snuggled up like this, though."

"As you say," Khan grumbles and lets him go, but not without a last kiss, one for the road, as it were. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Jim replies brightly, and then he crawls out of the bed, straightening his clothing to hide any traces of ill-advised cuddling. "I'm gonna wash my hands. They feel all greasy," he says, heading for the small bathroom. 

"That is an unkind thing to say after being close to me," Khan says, though there is genuine tease in his voice. Something for James alone.

"Not my fault you're all slick and dirty," Jim replies without missing a beat, and then he disappears to wash his hands. He comes back out a minute later, to the sound of knocking at the door. "Dammit." 

Khan has put back on his soft clothes, leaving his feet bare and somehow, vulnerable. "One moment, Dr. Boyce," he says and then moves in to kiss his James a farewell. "Thank you, James."

"You're welcome. Be good." Jim wants to pat him on the rump, but he knows it's tender there. "I'll see you later." 

"Soon, I hope, Captain," Khan says, opening the door. "Thank you for the visit."  
~~~~~~~~~~

Jim knows Khan will be busy for a while, and that there's no point in waiting in the room by himself. So, he takes the opportunity to head out and take care of a little errand that's been fluttering around in his head, just begging for a chance to come to fruition. Unfortunately, it also means he won't be in the room when Khan's done with his therapy and examination.

Khan's therapy is as excruciating as usual, but he does find Dr. Boyce kind, as well. When he returns, sore from the still healing wounds, and grumpy from the talking, he looks forward to nothing more than some peace and quiet. And hopefully, the return of James. His lover has promised him a few days.

Jim's a little later than he thought he'd be. He doesn't show up until an hour after Khan's therapy is finished, and then it takes another fifteen minutes to get through security again, with his little squirming bundles in tow. 

But then, finally, he opens the door to Khan's room and beams at him, holding up a wicker basket, covered by a soft, white blanket. "I have something for you." 

Khan looks at James and then at the basket, something in his expression going softer, as his enhanced senses pick up tiny heartbeats, a new scent, and scuffling sounds. "Something I am allowed to have?" he asks, trying not to sound too hopeful.

Something you're allowed to have," Jim confirms, and he comes over to the bed, carefully setting the basket down. "Go on." He nudges it a little closer to Khan.

Khan swallows, steps forward and then opens the wicker basket. His eyes soften even more, and he reaches in with gentle hands. He removes them to reveal a kitten in each, one orange male with bright green eyes and a smaller white female with blues eyes that match James'. He makes a soft noise of pleasure and cradles them to his chest, scratching each one behind the ears at the same time, making them rumble with pleasure. "Thank you."

"You look good together," Jim says warmly, happy that Khan is happy. He's felt so guilty about everything that's happened that he needed some way to make things better. Those kittens will do nicely and they'll keep Khan company in place of Jim. 

The blond tucks the blanket into the basket and makes a little nest of it. It'll serve as their bed. "You'll be provided with a litterbox for them and some toys. You're not the only inmate with cats." 

"Am I not?" Khan asks, somewhat abstracted. "They help with therapy and learning to care for others, no doubt." He places them on the bed and pets them until they practically fall over with the force of their purring. "This one is Jamie," he says, indicating the female. "And this one is Tiberius."

Jim laughs and reaches out to gently pet the furballs. "If you name them that, they'll be more than you can handle." 

Khan turns and reaches out to cup James' chin, tilting it up for a tender kiss. "I enjoy a challenge." He presses their foreheads together. "They will brighten my existence until I am free. And make for interesting additions to the Enterprise's crew."

"You're not gonna be the only crewmember with cats, either," Jim says between kisses. "But I'm going to get teased forever for having cats named after me." 

"Less than for being my lover," Khan purrs. "If you allow them to know, of course." He lifts Jamie and plays with her gently, smiling as her tiny paws bat at his fingers.

My main bridge crew know," Jim replies, watching Khan fondly. He looks so at ease with the kittens that Jim has no doubt he'll be absolutely fine. 

"And the rest of your crew?" Khan asks. "Will you tell them?" He tickles Jamie's belly, smiling as she bashes at him with her tiny back feet.

Jim shakes his head. "No. I can't risk that. I don't want word getting back to Starfleet that we're involved."

"Ah," Khan says, surprised by how much that hurts. It means hiding all the time. Sneaking around for a few moments of togetherness, bounded by endless days and nights of pretending. Better than nothing, perhaps, but only by the barest fraction. He comforts himself with the softness of Jamie's fur and then of Tiberius' as well. 

"I'm sorry," the blond says quietly. He knows it's not a pleasant concept. "Maybe when it doesn't seem like a conflict of interest, we can go public. Otherwise, there's a real risk Starfleet will separate us permanently." 

"Yes," Khan says quietly. "Forgive me. I had simply allowed foolish hopes to dim my intelligence." He climbs carefully on the bed, so he can set the kittens in his lap. James' career, crew and ship come first. Khan has always known that, encouraged it even. It is difficult sometimes, since James is all Khan has; at the same time it makes him willing to sacrifice for the other man.

"Noonien..." Jim frowns, stepping back to lean against the wall. This is the best compromise for them both. Jim won't do well out in space with just the two of them. Not in the long run. He'll get lonely, he'll miss his family, he'll miss his ship. At least this way, they can both get what they need. 

"I have never asked for you to give up your ship and crew, Captain," Khan says, using the title very deliberately. He smiles faintly as Tiberius falls over trying to catch his own tail. 

Jim comes back over to prop himself next to Khan. "We just have to wait. Eventually, we can reveal it, but not yet."

"Yes, Captain, someday." Khan doubts that they will ever truly be free to show the nature of their relationship in public, but does not share those thoughts. His freedoms will continue to be relative, but he will learn to accept what he has and what he will never have. Love is still enough- more than he ever thought possible.

Way to ruin the mood, Jim, the blond chastises himself. He's not really sure what to say, and he's trying not to play with the cats too much so that they bond mostly with Khan. They're meant to keep him company after all. So, that leaves Jim fidgeting. 

Khan reaches out and wraps a hand around the back of James' head, pulling him close and leaning down at the same time to kiss him sweetly. "James." He rests their foreheads together, trying to telegraph that he understands and will find a way to deal with the situation.

"I want you to be happy," Jim says in response, though he sounds a little forlorn, as if he's not really sure how to accomplish that. 

"Happiness is relative," Khan says softly. "I have caused so much unhappiness during my life, James, and had so little myself, that sometimes I am unsure I know what it is. But the feeling in my chest that comes from knowing you are on my side, that you desire me truly...that is good enough for me."

Jim pulls him in for another kiss, slow and lingering, and drags his tongue along Khan's teeth, just tasting. It's both apologetic and grateful. He is definitely on Khan's side, and he always will be. 

Khan strokes James' face and hair, hand gentle and loving. "But for you, James," he whispers, "I am worried. You deserve a lover you can celebrate openly, not hide in the shadows."

Jim blinks at him. "Why, just so I can hold hands and skip around the halls of the Enterprise? I'd rather have somebody waiting for me when I get off shift that'll quietly help me unwind." 

Khan nuzzles his cheek and answers, "You should have someone with whom you may do both. That is the least of what you deserve, my James." He kisses him again, tugging him as close as possible.

Screw this. Jim's just going to crawl right into Khan's lap. "I want you. I don't care what you say." 

Khan moves so that James may safely join him and the kittens on the bed, arms wrapping even tighter around them. "I love you, as well."

"I'm not hurting you, am I?" Jim knows he's not the lightest thing, and that Khan is still injured, but he wants this closeness.

Khan's pain tolerance is extremely high, so he kisses James in reassurance. "I am well. Better for having you and my new friends."

"It's really too bad I can't just pull my clothes off and sink down on your cock," Jim pouts. "Then I could prove how much I prefer you over anyone else." He really is so much better at actions. 

"That is not what proves it," Khan says, lifting a kitten to set gently on James' right shoulder. "You came here as soon as you could get away, when you discovered I had been hurt. You have brought me companions, as you know I am lonely when you cannot be here. That is what proves your feelings far more."

Jim looks over at Jamie, laughing when she bats at his nose. Kitty magic somehow makes him instantly feel a little better. "And then you went and turned them into hellions by giving them my names." 

"My hellions," Khan agrees. "As you are my James. Even if only we may know that."

"Us and the main bridge crew. Plus Bones and Scotty." At least there's some people who know. 

"You ruin the metaphor with your literalness," Khan scolds, but there is no force in the words. He presses a kiss to James' forehead, his nose, each cheek and then his lips.

Jim smiles a little at that, carefully plucking the kitten off his shoulder so he can snuggle her for a little. "Sorry. Pretty sure I picked that up from Spock."

"He is a terrible influence on you," Khan agrees gravely. "I am much better."

"Yes, you teach me how to be all sexy and growly and also how to have a sexy accent," the blond teases with a grin.

"You would sound stupid with my accent," Khan says, "and you cannot growl anymore than a puppy." He pauses and looks him over with an edge of hunger. "However, sexy is something you need not even my help to achieve."

"Oh, good to know I got at least one of the three," Jim replies, feigning hurt. "You sure I wouldn't be hotter with a British accent?" 

"You would not," Khan says, "nor do you require anything more. If you were more attractive, not even I could keep others from trying to take you from me at every turn."

Jim laughs a little and rubs their noses together playfully before once again being distracted by the other squirmy kitten trying to crawl between the two of them. "Like these two?" 

Khan glances at them, unsure of the meaning of James' question. "How can I do otherwise but like them?"

"No, I mean, like these two rascals trying to take me away from you," the blond clarifies, amused. 

Khan's nose wrinkles, and he says, "You sometimes suggest the most horrible things, and I must remind myself that you do not mean them."

"I think you think I'm more of a pervert than I actually am," Jim raises his eyebrows, trying to figure out what Khan is thinking. 

"I think you say things without actually considering them all the way through first," Khan says. "For example, I expressed my concern that your sexiness would cause people to try and steal you from me, and you countered that the kittens might try."

"To take my attention! They climbed all in our laps and demanded love and affection," Jim defends.

Khan snorts a disbelieving laugh and says, "That is not at all how it emerged. But I will allow you to show that kind of love and affection to our kittens."

"I'm into a lot of things, but bestiality isn't one of them, no matter what Uhura tells you," Jim grumbles, even as he snuggles Jamie closer. "Don't listen to Khan," he says to the cat. "He's a meanie." 

Khan strokes Tiberius' orange fur and says, "I begin to wish that your Uhura might think well enough of me to speak of these incidents, but fear she shall never desire to do more than shoot me again."

Jim grimaces a little. "She sure did give me hell when she first found out what was going on. Told me to get off my own ship. She's willful, that's for damn sure, but she's also sensible and we got things resolved. So, you never know. Maybe she'll be your source for all the gossip about me." 

Khan hates the grimace and dislikes Uhura for putting it there. "Is she is your ally, then I will be hers. Only then."

"She is. She's a good woman, and you'd better be nice to her, or she'll kick your ass." Jim looks fairly serious about that, too. Uhura is scary.

Khan says with primness, "I have no intent to hurt your crew, Captain, but were we to be matched again, only with the aid of multiple phaser blasts and a murderous Vulcan might I be stopped again." 

"I assume that situation will come around because Spock has become infected with some sort of sex pollen and has oddly taken a vigorous liking to my ass, and you will be defending my dignity," the blond replies without hesitation. 

"Dignity is an interesting choice of word," Khan says, favoring James with another kiss.

"I could have said 'virginity'," Jim teases, though he starts when there's another knock at the door. "Ah hell. Hold the babies, will you?"

Khan snorts, but sweeps the kittens to safety, making soft noises at them. 

Jim reluctantly crawls out of Khan's lap and goes to get the door, but he's delighted to see that it's the delivery of the kitten care package. He thanks the woman who delivered it and then he closes the door again, turning back around to Khan with a smile. "So, you've got a litter box, toys, bowls, food, and a bunch of other stuff." 

Carrying his new kittens carefully, Khan hops off the bed and moves to James' side. "Where shall they be set up then?"

"Might wanna put the litter in the bathroom. I have no idea how to train cats to poop in it, but I think they come with some built-in scent thing. I don't know." Jim crouches down to unload some of the contents, getting a little distracted by the mouse with jingles on it. 

Khan watches as James gets distracted by toys made for kittens and rolls his eyes. He pours litter in the box and shows the kittens the box, knowing their instincts will be enough to get them to use it, as long as they can reach it in time.

Jim is easily distracted, but eventually unpacks the rest of the box and then sets it off to the side, looking at the haul. "I think they're gonna like it." And even as he says that, Tiberius comes roaring over and slams his tiny body into one of the fuzzy balls. "Yep."

Khan laughs softly at the playful innocence of the kittens and sits down on the floor, a trifle gingerly, to watch them. And interact with Jamie, as she chases after an octopus on a stick, directed by the augment. "They will give me much happiness, my James."

"God, you're fucking cute when you play with them like that." Jim can't help it. Lookit him, all adorable and focused on the kitties. It's almost too much. 

Cute is not a word Khan has much heard associated with himself, and he gives James a long look. "Do you like my being cute?"

Jim smiles at him fondly, eyes crinkling at the corners. "Yeah. You look like you haven't got a care in the world." 

"They are good for me," Khan says softly, watching Jamie fall over in an aborted leap at the flying octopus. "They remind me that there is still happiness in the world."

"There's happiness all over. You just gotta know where to look," the blond replies, coming to kneel next to his lover. 

"Not as much in prison," Khan replies and reaches out with his free hand to pul Jim into a kiss. 

"There's happiness right here, isn't there?" Jim asks silkily, framing Khan's face and kissing him with all the love and affection he can pour into it. 

Khan manages the octopus with one hand, wraps the other around the back of James' head and kisses him with all the skill and feelings he can muster into the press of mouths. "All the happiness in my world."

Jim has to break the kiss for air. "I love you," he whispers against the shell of Khan's ear, sucking the earlobe in and biting at it. "No matter what happens, or how far apart we are, or how much we have to hide." 

"You have gotten good at saying it, my James," Khan whispers back. "I am proud of the man you are. I hope in some small way, I have helped you in that."

Jim makes an affirmative noise, biting at that tempting earlobe again. "I've changed a lot in the year I've known you. I thought I'd be single forever, and that was what I wanted." 

"And now you have a rather needy and demanding partner," Khan says with a smile and his own nip to James' smooth neck.

"Not as needy and demanding as I am," Jim answers with a smile, wishing Khan were healed so he could have his way with him. Jim has missed how he tastes. 

"We can quibble another day on that," Khan says with a smile and another soft kiss. "Play with our kittens."

"The way you say that, I feel like we suddenly have kids," Jim muses with a laugh and picks up a ball with a tuft of feathers on the end, teasing Tiberius with it.

"They are tiny, fragile and need our care," Khan says. "They will not be as complicated as human children, fortunately."

"That's good. I am so not ready for one kid, never mind two-OH MY GOD!" Jim startles when there's suddenly a kitten climbing up the back of his shirt. "You were supposed to be watching that one!"

"I am watching her traverse what is Mt. Everest to one so small," Khan says with satisfaction. "I commend your choice in kittens."

He may or may not be dangling her octopus just above James' shoulders.

"Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Claws. Ow. Claws. Ow," Jim whines, but doesn't move, for fear of knocking Jamie off. 

Khan laughs softly at James' childishness, but then gently extracts Jamie from his back. He sets her aside with care and then lifts the tunic. Leaning close, he dots tiny kisses to each place her claws might have scored.

Do I look like a pin cushion?" Jim queries poutily, trying to twist to get a glimpse of his back. 

Her claws were too tiny to even leave marks," Khan says, amusement clear. "Truly a ferocious beast to have attacked you." He reaches James' nape and lingers, before pressing a kiss there, worship and want.

"Truly ferocious. Wait until she's bigger and can attack from above," the blond replies, feigning fear. "Will you protect me?" 

"From enemies, always," Khan vows. "From our cats...never." He nips lightly at his spot and pulls away.

Jim shivers a little at the reminder of the mark he used to have. "Do you want to put it back?" he asks quietly. 

"Yes, you know I do," Khan murmurs, love and want in his tone.

"Then why don't you?" 

"Below the collar?" Khan asks, nuzzling even more, seeking the right spot.

Jim smiles, tipping his head forward and baring his nape. "Yes. I can't go back to work with a giant hickey visible."

"A mark that is hidden is only so satisfying," Khan sighs, but finds a place to press his mouth for a moment. "Do you want the mark?"

"Wouldn't ask if I didn't. But just think, if they're hidden, you can leave as many as you want," Jim replies coyly. 

Khan hums a little at the idea and lifts his head to press a tender kiss behind James' left ear, the sensitive spot a place he loves to find. "That does have its appeal."

Jim hums quietly, pleased by the kiss. "I miss having your mark to remind me, just like I miss having your cock fill me up at night. I miss how warm you are and how you smell. I miss listening to you whisper in my ear while I'm falling asleep." 

Khan groans low in his throat and tugs James into a backwards hug. "I miss them, too. All and more. I hate waking from dreams of them, for they are only dreams."

The blond leans against Khan's chest, turning just enough to bite at the Augment's jaw. "It's too bad you're so sore, or I'd have suggested a quickie in the bathroom." 

Khan snorts and says, "How romantic you are, my James. But if I were not injured, you would not have come and I could not now have kittens."

Jim can't help but gigglesnort at that. "It sounds like I knocked you up and Jamie and Tiberius came out." 

Khan latches on hard to a piece of James' nape below the collarline and sucks up dark, red mark. He uses a little more force than normal, a slight scold for the words.

Oh, but that just makes Jim moan and arch against him, begging for more. He likes it when Khan is rough with him. It's not really a punishment. 

Khan reaches around James and finds the impressive bulge of his crotch. He continues to suck at the mark, even as he rubs tormentingly over that spot, not hard enough to provide much more than a tease.

"Oh, you bastard," Jim mewls, wanting more of that touch, but it's also a little awkward because there's two pairs of huge kitten eyes watching him. 

Khan laughs softly and releases James completely. "Don't want to scald the young ones' sensibilities."

"Oh my god, it is like having kids," Jim laments, but then he's won over quickly enough by kitties crawling all over him. He flails dramatically and falls over onto the floor. "Help!"

Khan watches his lover play with the kittens with a soft smile, fond and content. "I think I will allow them free rein. They obviously have very good instincts." He watches Jamie attempt to unravel James' tunic with her tiny paws, while Tiberius bats at his fingers.

Jim's not too concerned about his tunic. He usually manages to rip it one way or another. He can always get a replacement. "Free reign? You keep doing things to encourage them to become tyrants." 

"Wrong kind of reign," Khan teases and lifts Tiberius, causing the kitten to squawk. He strokes the soft fur, until the kitten becomes a ball of purring happiness. 

"But that's what it'll evolve into. You'll let them climb all over you and-" Jim gets cut off by Jamie climbing on his face. "Pfft." Well, blowing her off isn't going to work. So much for her being made entirely of lint and fur. He picks her up and puts her back on his belly, instead. "I forget what I was saying." 

"They shall not climb all over me," Khan says and puts Tiberius on to James' chest again. "However, all over you is a very different matter."

"You just like watching me get completely trounced by furry monsters," Jim laments.

"Oh yes, monsters," Khan agrees with a sage nod. "They will be the end of you, James."

"I'll die, and then what will you do?" Jim asks, even as he chokes on a fluff of hair. 

"Retire alone somewhere to become a crazy cat person," Khan deadpans.

"You can't retire if you don't have a job," the blond notes casually. 

Khan just gives him a superior look and says, "I suppose you shall just have to refrain from being killed by kittens then."

Jim laughs. "That's the same look Spock gives me when he tells me my human ways are illogical and they make his brain hurt." 

"Well, you are a truly ridiculous creature, my James, and bound to hurt a Vulcan's perfect logic with that," Khan reasons.

"So you've said plenty of times. I think I'm perfectly normal." Jim grins a little, reaching for the octopus to distract the kittens and keep them from making nests in his shirt. 

"It is part of what I love about you," Khan says, "so I mention it without any insult. I am, perhaps, envious."

"Envious? Why? You can be ridiculous, too, sometimes. I like it when you decide to be silly with me." 

"It is not easy for me," Khan says. "I am trying to learn how to let go and just be...how to find the fun side of my nature."

"Pretty sure you're doing well enough with your kittens," Jim replies, happy for him. 

"It is easier with them, as it is with you, for I know I will not be mocked or thought less of for not maintaing an always serious face and demeanor," Khan says, which was as close as he would ever get to saying that James made him feel safe and taken care of. That was more than he could manage yet.

Jim thinks on that for a bit, absently stroking at the kittens' tails. "You sure? I think people would be happy to know you're not as scary as you like to make yourself out to be." 

"Make myself out to be," Khan says a little blankly, not liking the phrase. He is as he was made and pushed to be.

"Mm hmm. You come off as scary when you don't have to. You can smile, you can laugh. You're not a one-track album, you know?" Jim explains. 

"I do that with those I trust, a small number indeed," Khan points out. "And you are the main cause of most of my happiness, anyway. With others, there is as yet little reason for laughter."

"I know. I'm just saying it's not a bad thing if you do lighten up a little from time to time. I don't think people would mock you for it." 

"I shall try," Khan says and lifts Tiberius. "The kittens will provide an unthreatening source of conversation with others."

"Yeah, like how puppies let you pick up girls," Jim agrees, nodding. 

"Shall I try to pick up prison guards?" Khan asks with a hint of a sour note. He is not taken with the idea of James using cute animals to 'pick up' others.

The blond laughs and shrugs. "Hey, if one of 'em fancies you." 

Khan hisses in a way that makes both kittens arch and spit.

"Whoa. What's that for?" Jim blinks at him. 

"Bad joke," Khan says smoothly and soothes the kittens' fur and tempers. 

Jim sighs and pillows his hands behind his head. "I suppose it's a good thing you even realized I was joking." 

"Small steps," Khan agrees and reaches out to caress James' cheek. "I am trying."

Jim tilts his head to kiss Khan's palm. "I know. You're doing good."

"Your crew will be easier, I think," Khan says. "I know they all want what is good for your ship and you."

"They're a good crew," the blond agrees as he dances the little octopus around. "It'll work out."

Khan watches the octopus and the kittens chasing it around. He smiles and reaches out to just touch and enjoy the presence of his lover, his soon-to-be Captain. "I shall try to be a worthy crewmember."

"I already know you're gonna be saving my ass more often than not. Should earn you brownie points, if nothing else." Jim really should know better than to shake that octopus above his abdomen, but he really doesn't learn. He just keeps getting hopped on by hyperactive kitties. It's worth it. 

Jamie takes a flying leap and ends up hanging off of James' tunic, whacking at the octopus with a free paw.

"Kid, you're too small to be taking flying leaps like that," Jim gently scolds her, trying his best to imitate Bones' voice. He lifts her up and puts her on his belly, letting her catch one of the octopus' tentacles. 

Khan laughs softly at the whole thing, including the way Tiberius sulks at not getting the same attention. He lifts the kitten in his hands and provides what he wants. "Tiberius even has your pout."

"What are you talking about? I don't pout." Pout. 

Khan laughs again and says, "Of course not, my James. Never." He leans in and kisses that pout, kitten cradled between them.

Jim finally sits up again and looks over at the things he unpacked from the box. "Hey, you think we should feed them? I know nothing about caring for cats." 

"We can put out some of their kitten food," Khan agrees and sets Tiberius down. "I shall take care of them, James. I will not let anything ill happen."

"I was hoping you'd say that, 'cause I sure as shit shouldn't be in charge of anything this small and helpless." Jim's pretty sure somebody would call animal services on him. 

"You would do fine with them," Khan says with the same confidence James speaks of his release.

"I tried to keep a prairie dog once," Jim replies and shakes his head. "I think it got eaten by a mountain lion within a week."

"Somehow I do not believe these two things are as related as you think," Khan says with a great struggle to remain serious. "I do hope you are not planning to bring mountain lions on the Enterprise."

"I'm bringing you, aren't I?" The blond gives him a once-over.

Khan mock glares, before saying, "I promise to feast only on you, James."

"Mm, please do, as often as you want." Jim ushers the kittens out of his lap before he crawls over to the containers of food. His toes are being chased the whole way there, and he supposes it's a good thing he's protected by boots, or he really would be getting feasted on, in more literal terms.

Khan watches as James takes care of feeding the kittens after all, smiling as they dive into their soft food. Soft slurping noises follow, and Khan climbs to his feet slowly, heading for the bed. "James?"

"Hmm?" Jim asks, eyes still fixed on watching the kittens devour their food, and he idly wonders when the last time they ate was. Though, he supposes they're growing fast, so they're probably always hungry.

"Come here?" Khan invites, soft and hopeful.

Jim looks over and then smiles. "Sure." He stands up and makes his way over to the bed, lifting one knee onto it so he can lean in and kiss his lover. 

Khan cradles James' face with one hand and his back with the other, tugging him in for the kiss. "Let me make you feel good," he says, voice a low rumble.

"How could I ever say 'no' to that?" Jim smiles a little wider and crawls onto the bed the rest of the way, squeezing himself into the small space. 

Khan takes James completely in his arms and presses him back against the mattress. Being on top, he can keep off the burnt parts of his own flesh and concentrate on James' body at the same time. Win-win. "Thank you. I need to touch some more."


	18. A Visit Continued

Khan takes James completely in his arms and presses him back against the mattress. Being on top, he can keep off the burnt parts of his own flesh and concentrate on James' body at the same time. Win-win. "Thank you. I need to touch some more."

"You can touch as much as you want, baby. Whatever makes you happy makes me happy, too," Jim says, gazing up at him affectionately. 

Khan touches the area beside his eyes, basking in the light that shines from them. Love and happiness and nothing he has seen before James. He presses kisses to each corner and says, "I will send thank you cards to all of Marcus' former minions who attempted escape and survived, for allowing me to see you again."

Jim laughs quietly, pulling Khan in for another kiss. "Don't do that, Noonien. They might try it again. I don't want to see you hurt." 

Khan just makes a superior face and says, "Well, they should know better now than to be so stupid." His expression dissolves into a smile, and he rests his forehead against James'. "Besides, this is worth much more pain."

"I'd rather you had to endure too many cookies than pain," the blond replies, letting his eyes fall shut. "I don't like knowing you're hurting." 

Khan soothes his lover with more kisses, whispering soft apologies against his skin. He rucks up the golden tunic, tugging it off James and tossing it to the floor. And then there is delightful skin everywhere to savor, taste and lick and bite and suck. Hardness of collar and breastbone. Softness of skin and light hairs. Succulence of nipples that harden and soften and harden again under his demanding mouth. So much goodness to lose track of time with.

 _Oh, God._ Jim wishes he could moan as much as he wants to. Khan knows how to make him feel like he's being worshiped. It's almost overwhelming, all those touches everywhere, full of love and devotion and reverence. "Noonien," he purrs, although it trails off as a quiet whimper when a talented tongue once again attacks his nipple. 

"When we may be together on your gray lady, my James, will you again be able to give full voice to your pleasures?" Khan asks softly, kissing each nipple's tender peak. "I do miss how loud and free you are with showing how I make you feel."

"My quarters have excellent soundproofing," Jim replies, loving the idea of moaning like a whore for Khan. Khan's whore. He squirms a little, pants growing uncomfortably tight under his lover's ministrations. "We'll put it to the test." 

Khan smiles against his chest and makes love to the patch of skin over his heart. His movements then pull him up, away and down to remove boots, socks and pants. "We shall indeed. Most thoroughly. I can praise you then, as well, as loudly and erotically and long as I please. You deserve such words."

"Helps that your voice makes me hard, don't you think?" Jim teases lightly, but also breathlessly. Though, he does have to wonder: "Should we lock the door? This could be bad if someone walks in." 

Khan places a hand flat over James' groin and rubs in small circles. "If you insist," he purrs and moves off to the door. He glances quickly at the kittens, stuffed and curled up in their new bed, sleeping as only the very young can. He smiles once, locks out any intruders and then turns back toward his lover. "You are exquisite," he purrs, "spread out on the bed, awaiting my return to give you pleasure. To touch every part of your body and cause it to flame with need for more. And I will give you more. So much more, my lovely James."

"I have no idea how you manage to talk like that. I'd laugh at anybody else, but you just give me a raging hard-on. How?" Jim will never understand that, but he's not going to complain. He just spreads his legs invitingly, ushering Khan back over with a wiggle of his finger. 

"Laugh?" Khan asks, making a face. "I know I am not the most romantic of figures, but had hoped my words were a bit better than that." He does not stop though, moving to James' side and then climbing over him, pressing a kiss to his lips.

"I think it's because I know you mean them," Jim soothes, kissing Khan in return. "It's not just for show." 

"Perhaps I should not use my voice, if my words are so lacking," Khan says, and yes, there is a hint of a pout in his voice.

"No, baby. No. It's not that. They're not lacking, I'm just-- I never used to believe that anybody would say anything like that about me and mean it, you know? But then you came along." 

Khan rumbles satisfaction at that answer and says, "We have both been far down paths that were not well for ourselves, but perhaps, that was just so we might find each other on them."

"The road less traveled, huh?" Jim asks, running his hands along Khan's arms just for somewhere safe to touch. 

"Poetic," Khan approves with the single word. He hums consideration, as if trying to remember what he was up to and then smiles, placing a kiss to James' nose. "Ahh." He slides back down and puts a hand over the rather prominent bulge of groin again. "There we are."

"Only gettin' poetic because you're making my blood leave my brain in favor of my dick," Jim replies casually, watching him intently all the while. Even just that touch to his groin makes his cock twitch. 

"So, the only way to get you to wax romantic is to make you so aroused you cannot think," Khan says with a frown.

"Don't get your hopes up. I'm never gonna start reciting Shakespeare." 

"I would be disturbed if you did," Khan says with a snort and then eases down James' tight Starfleet issue pants. "I do so love regulation uniforms," he purrs, "especially getting you out of them."

"You'd love me in anything, except maybe drag," Jim teases, lifting his hips to help his lover undress him. He's definitely half-hard already.

"You keep mentioning that," Khan says. "I think you not-so-secretly want to try it." He grins wickedly and takes James in his better hand, stroking slowly.

Jim looks as if he thinks on that for a moment. "Haven't got the legs for it," is his final verdict, though it's punctuated by a low moan. 

"Liar," Khan murmurs and presses his lips to the warm skin of James' abdomen, moving his cock to rub over the stubble on his cheeks.

"Uhn," Jim groans, cock twitching in interest at the rough texture, like sandpaper and yet arousing at the same time. "Not lyin'..."

Khan chuckles and scratches his cheek even more against the warm, hardening length. "Do you like that, my James? Different, is it not?"

"I keep telling you that you're an incubus," Jim murmurs in response, panting a little. He figures Khan could seduce a Vulcan nun.

"Would you like that?" Khan asks and licks tantalizingly over the very tip of James' cock. "Would you let me feed off your sexual energy and pleasure? Give me your strength that way?"

"Ooooh, God, yes. I totally would." Jim pushes up into that teasing touch, seeking out more and whining when he can't quite get it. "I'd give you whatever you wanted." 

Khan rewards the promise by taking James into his warm, wet and very talented mouth and sucking for several long moments, trying to pull his brain out through his cock. But then he allows the perfect erection to slide free and moves lower to bite at his balls.

Jim's in heaven when Khan sucks him in like that, and he moans loudly before stifling himself with his hand. He sort of forgot he's not allowed to make noise, but there's another muffled, desperate moan when his lover bites at him like that, and Jim's whole body jerks in response. 

Khan noses even further back, bending James to his wants with strong hands. He locates the tantalizing bits just behind his balls and makes a mess of them with his tongue. The taste here is strong and as James as any spot he can find.

Right now, Khan could fold Jim in half, and he wouldn't mind. He's completely lost in the sensations that tongue is causing, shivers running all through his body as he struggles not to touch himself. The Augment has him so hard already that it's almost shameful. "Noonien," he whimpers around the bite marks he's left in his hand. "That feels good." 

When James calls him Noonien, there is naught for Khan to do but throw away all else and give James what he needs. He wraps a strong hand around James' cock, slithers his tongue even further in to the warmth of musky skin and tries to give his lover the double sensations of his life.

Jim can't keep still. He becomes a squirming mess, pushing back against Khan's tongue and then rutting up into his hand. He wishes so desperately right now that Khan could fuck him, but all he can do is imagine it, recalling the feeling of that thick cock filling him up. "Noonien!" he cries again, a little louder and needier, cock leaking all over his belly. He's getting close, and it makes his moans kick up an octave. 

Hmm, not enough. Khan hopes James stays in position without a helping hand, as he removes it and sticks it in his own mouth, making the fingers wet and slick. With little preamble, he finds James' entrance and rubs the fingers there for a moment, before shoving both of them in, deep and hard and perfectly angled.

The blond only manages to avoid crying out by biting once again into the meat of his hand, and he's pretty sure he tastes blood, but it doesn't matter. He's coming, hard and all over his abdomen, hips frantically fucking Khan's hand and pushing down onto those fingers inside him in turn, until his balls have nothing left to give and he goes limp, chest heaving. "Fuck..."

Khan makes sure the last of James' release spills, before releasing him and moving to stretch out beside him again. He presses a kiss to his forehead and murmurs, "Thank you, my James. You are, as ever, lovely."

"Am I still alive?" Jim asks, completely in a daze.

"Fortunately for me," Khan says, very pleased by the words. "Alive, well, and virile, as always."

Jim rolls over and presses his nose against Khan's neck and shuts his eyes, needing a few minutes for his brain to restart. 

Khan snuggles James close and shuts his own eyes, content to spend as long as his lover wants in this happy calm. He wishes for a little more time, enough, at least, for his wounds to fully heal. Their severity allows them to linger, though a day or two more would find them gone. But his James would be gone by then, too.

"I should get cleaned up," Jim finally murmurs, although he doesn't want to move. He's only just realizing now, too, exactly how much his hand aches.

"Yes," Khan says regretfully. "You need to be on your way soon. And I must wait a few more days before they decide where next to move me."

"Soon?" Jim asks. "I won't get kicked out until the morning after tomorrow. I got 48 hours, remember? And they're not gonna kick me out at 3AM."

"Still too soon," Khan says and reaches out to tug him into his arms, unmindful now of any hurts. He wants that sweetness, needs it in the moment. "My James."

"You know what amazes me?" Jim asks, smiling, but doesn't wait for an answer. "How it seems like I blink and you've managed to make all my clothes disappear." 

"You're better off free of them," Khan says with a wicked smile. "I shall wait for you in bed." He releases his lover and steps back, slowly removing his clothes.

"Mm'kay," the blond replies and heads on course for the shower. He doesn't spend long in there. Just enough to give himself a thorough cleaning and wash his hair, and then he dries himself off enough that he won't make the bed all damp. Though, he is careful when he opens the bathroom door, peeking out to make sure there are no nurses in the room. "You didn't take the opportunity to flirt with any of the staff?"

Khan snorts and says, "It has just been I and the kittens." He looks down at the two kittens curled up, still fast asleep. "Nobody will come until tomorrow morning, my James. Come to bed." 

"They don't check on you in the evening?" Jim asks as he crosses the room to crawl under the blanket. 

"Not unless I call for them now," Khan says. "I asked them not to as soon as Dr. Boyce said it was not strictly necessary. I am not a one for coddling, nor for giving up my privacy." 

"No, I definitely get that. You're just lucky Boyce isn't as nosy as Bones." Jim snuggles up to Khan as closely as he dares, mindful of soreness, and kisses at his lover's jaw. 

Khan sighs and tilts his head to ask for more kisses, savoring the touches he can receive. "Dr. Boyce understands me," he says and traces a hand down James' spine. "Your doctor will be trouble for me." 

"I'll keep him off you as much as I can. I'll get Boyce to talk to him, too." Jim leaves a little nip and then moves down to kiss at Khan's neck. "Hopefully Bones'll be too busy yelling at me to bother you."

"And what will he be yelling at you about?" Khan asks softly and kisses his forehead, as James moves down. He sighs contentedly at the kisses to his sensitive throat, tilting his head to let James know he wants more. 

"Probably the bruises I end up with everywhere, or some stupid decision I've made, or how I always end up tearing my shirt on every mission." Jim mouths at Khan's pulse point, sucking at the skin and then soothing it with his tongue. "He'll find something."

Khan groans, low and wanting, and says, "I don't want you covered in bruises or making stupid decisions or letting your shirt get torn so everyone can see what only I should see." He thumbs up the length of James' spine.

"Guess that just means you'll have to be there to keep an eye on me, right? I can't get into trouble if I'm under supervision," Jim suggests, smirking slightly. 

"Take me with you everywhere," Khan agrees and tugs James up into a kiss, deep and demanding. "I will make sure to take anything directed at you, so that you do not get yelled at or hurt." 

Jim tangles their tongues together, a bit of a war, but he can't go without oxygen for as long as Khan. "Can't let you take all the hits. I gotta learn from my mistakes." 

"Do you? Learn? You don't seem to," Khan says, though there is a teasing lilt in his voice. He latches on to James' throat, just under his chin and lightly sucks, not drawing up a mark, but enjoying the action.

Jim practically purrs at that, pretending Khan is marking him even if he knows he isn't. "I do sometimes, in very specific situations."

Khan rumbles back in response to the purr, always having loved the sound when his James makes it. He releases the spot on James' neck and then licks gently at the area. "And what might those be?" he asks.

"Like how I learned that people I thought were insane can turn out to be nice guys," the blond replies, a smile in his voice. 

Khan smiles and kisses James in a way that can only be called sweet. "I love you, as well, my James." He traces his fingers over the soft cheek and then nuzzles gently. "So very much."

Jim nips lightly at Khan's nose, the words making him happy. "So, you keep me from doing stupid things, and I'll keep you from being lonely."

"May we work that the other way around, as well?" Khan requests softly. "I should like to think that you are also made less lonely by me, and you will make sure to try and prevent any foolishness on my part."

"Deal," Jim replies. He doesn't think Khan makes anywhere near as many stupid decisions as Jim does, but he's willing to help wherever he can. 

"Are you less lonely, my James?" Khan asks, wanting to hear him say it. Needing it, as he does now.

"'Course I am." Jim nuzzles at his lover, rubbing their cheeks together. "Couldn't be lonely with such an affectionate boyfriend."

Khan hums contentment and snuggles into his lover. "Thank you, my James." He angles his head up again to ask for more attention.

"Needy," Jim mutters, but it's not an insult, and he gives in to Khan's silent demands, latching his mouth once more just under his lover's jawline, nipping and sucking at tender skin. 

"Yes, I intend to enjoy you while I have you," Khan says and reaches out stroke the back of Jim's neck and his upper back. "Please explore as you want."

"I don't wanna hurt you," Jim replies quietly, hand ghosting down to Khan's hip. He knows the skin is tender there, and it hurts him that he can't touch his lover the way he wants to. 

"I trust you," Khan murmurs, wishing he were not injured. "And I wish to be touched as much as I can stand. As much as you will dare."

"I wish you could heal faster." Jim wants to roll Khan onto his back, but he knows that would interfere with the salve, so he simply wiggles his way a little further down on the bed and presses kisses all along his lover's chest wherever he can reach. 

Khan sighs contentedly and arches his chest toward James, asking for more. "You know how well I heal, my James, so you comprehend the severity of the injuries I suffered." 

"I know. That's why it sucks that much more." The blond latches his mouth onto his lover's nipple and suckles gently while rubbing at it with his tongue. 

They are even stronger than usual, since the rest of him is out of order. He strokes James' hair and murmurs, "Please, harder, James. You cannot touch elsewhere, but I believe you can make me release this way."

Jim's definitely willing to try, even if he's not sure he'll be able to do it. Just so long as Khan enjoys it, nothing else matters. He bites at the tender nipple, rolling it between his teeth while his hand moves to pinch the other one.

Khan moves as much as he can with the sucking and pinching, pushing his body toward pleasure and release. "Yes, James, you are doing so good. You play my body so well. Love how you know me."

Jim thinks is so deliciously kinky when Khan' loses himself like this, and it always amazes him, too, just how sensitive his lover's nipples are. He switches sides, latching his mouth onto the neglected nipple and letting the wet one get a gust of cool air. That won't last long, though. Jim's fingers clamp onto it with renewed vigor, and while he sucks and nips at the other, this one gets scraped at teasingly with blunt fingernails. 

Khan's bites down on his cries, so they don't wake the whole compound, but in a few moments, his body gives a shiver, up and down, and he sighs once in fulfillment. Orgasm without the liquid release, since there is still damage there. "Mmm. That was lovely. Thank you, James." 

Jim smiles, pleased with himself and happy he was able to help. He comes back up to kiss his lover. "Any time, Noonien." 

Khan shuts his eyes and shivers at the name, before smiling at James. "You say my name with such kindness. It has been so long since any others have spoken it."

"It'll just be our thing, then," Jim replies, rubbing their noses together affectionately. It's a little sad that nobody else will call Khan that, but at the same time, that makes it special. 

"Yes, our thing," Khan agrees with a rumble and returns the affectionate nose rub, which he has learned to enjoy. "I only want to hear you say my real name anyway. 

"It's just such a sexy name to start with, I'm not sure I'd want anybody else saying it," Jim replies, only partly teasing. 

"Sexy?" Khan asks with a soft growl, having never been told that before. "Only to you. And only for you."

"Mm hmm. S'why I'm not gonna share it." Jim presses their foreheads together, but he starts a bit when there's suddenly something tugging on the sheets. "The hell?" All is soon revealed, though: Tiberius has woken up and is trying to get into the bed with them. 

Khan leans over the side and smiles at the tiny kitten trying to scale the bed like its Mt. Everest. "Your namesake is trying to live up to his moniker. Shall I help him?"

"Unless you want him shredding the sheets, it would probably be a good idea. If he's anything like me, he'll get up on this bed or die trying." Jim laughs.

Tiberius falls off with a little squeak, and Khan says, "Yes, he is very well trying."

And then Jamie approaches, all bristled fur and cuteness. She makes a small leap, hooks on and scales up in one go, practically preening when she gets to the top.

"Oh, man. Tiberius, are you gonna let her show you up like that?" Jim asks as he pets Jamie, rewarding her for her adventurousness. 

Tiberius mews in response and jumps up onto the sheets again, following in his sister's wake. He's got the heart, he just hasn't mastered the technique, so Jim reaches down and grabs the scruff of his neck lightly, helping him the rest of the way up. "There you go, buddy." 

"He is much like you, James," Khan says, picking up Jamie and cradling her, while stroking her sides and tummy. "He makes up for in courage what he lacks in brains. While his sister has both."

"Hey! The hell is that supposed to mean?" Jim asks, feigning offense. 

Khan laughs softly and leans in to kiss James and then the forehead of the tiny kitten he holds. "You are both also adorable, and I do not bandy that term about lightly."

"Shut yer face," Jim scolds, and he snuggles Tiberius close. "Don't listen to him. He's a meanie."

"A tormentor of all things fluffy, both man and beast," Khan intones and nips James' right ear. He turns back to Jamie and lavishes her with affection, until she's threatening to vibrate apart with purrs.

"You are. A complete menace to all beings that are totally not cute," Jim agrees. And suddenly, it's a war between who can make his kitten purr more. 

Khan enjoys the play between them, before he deftly scoops Tiberius out of James' hands and gives him Jamie. "Let us see now." He scritches behind Tiberius' ears, and the kitten mews for him happily.

"That one is mine!" Still, Jim's happy to pet Jamie, and he scratches at the base of her tail, watching her arch her back and knead her claws into the bed. 

"I would rather thing we both belong to them more than the other way around," Khan says, setting Tiberius down on the blanket. "So, shall they sleep with us?"

"You don't think we're gonna accidentally squish them? You know I can be a flailer in my sleep," Jim worries.

"They can sleep behind me," Khan says. "I will protect them from your flopping."

Jim makes a face. "Now I just sound like a fish."

"I'd love you even if you were," Khan says. "A merman." He smiles at the image and then lifts Tiberius up to James. The kitten promptly puts a paw on James' nose and squeaks.

"No. No, Ty. You have to roar. Like a lion. Rawwwwr. Like that." Jim rubs the kittens muzzle lightly, but all he gets is another squeak. "Pff."

"Actually, I think he sounds exactly like you," Khan says, as Tiberius makes another cute noise and wriggles. He pulls Tiberius back, sets him on his shoulder and then tugs James into a kiss. 

Tiberius rubs against them both, rumbling happily, and promptly rolls right off Khan's shoulder. Khan's hand shoots out and catches him, even though he doesn't break the kiss.

Jim laughs a little, even though he thinks he should probably be insulted. He is manly, dammit. Manly. Oh well. He nibbles at Khan's lower lip and then pulls back for a breath. "I'm not a kitten."

"You're my kitten, are you not?" Khan asks and tucks Tiberius safely with his sister. Only to have both felines promptly try and crawl between them.

"Mm, no. I'm your captain. Small difference," Jim corrects, mindful of the kitties pushing themselves in everywhere.

"Captain Kitten," Khan teases and moves to allow Tiberius and Jamie on his lap. He alternates petting them, so they are both content to flop where they are.

Well, if the kitties are gonna take up Khan's lap, Jim's going to sprawl out on the bed and take up the rest of the room, greedy cat that he apparently is.

"You are naughty," Khan scolds and leans down to find his mouth again, warm and willing. He groans a little in delight, slipping James tongue.

"Would you counter that I am?" Khan asks with an air of scandalization. That morphs into another smile and more kisses, long and leisurely, short and sweet and everything in between. 

"If the shoe fits," Jim replies bit by bit between kisses. Fuck, this is so lovey and domestic and everything Jim never thought he'd ever like, but here he is, happy just being close to his lover. 

"That is far too mundane an answer," Khan says disdainfully and bites his nose in retaliation for boringness. And then nuzzles it better instantly. "But you may be right."

"I haven't got your talented tongue or your accent. I'll sound stupid if I try to be all verbose about it." Jim scrunches his nose, trying to think of an example to prove his point. "Like, 'I would conclude you are the naughty one, given your penchant for insisting I am adorable and for removing your clothing without proper warning'. See? Doesn't work." 

Khan smiles and says, "You hide all those brains behind the ridiculous front, but I know not why. You're very, very clever and well spoken, when you choose." He tastes those lips again, tender and loving. "My James."

"It's better to be underestimated," Jim answers with a small shrug, trying to tug Khan to at least partially lie down on him.

Khan grumbles, but finds a way to move to protect the kittens, his wounds and give Jim what he wants. Good thing he's flexible. "By me?"

Jim chuckles. "No. You know I'm an idiot." 

"And brilliant," Khan says and dots little kisses over his face. "Such a lovely dichotomy of traits." He pets the kittens at the same time, smiling contentedly at the situation, the sheer contentedness he feels.

Jim carefully wraps his arm around Khan's waist, trying not to touch any raw areas. "It's going to be great to have you on the ship. I want to come back to you every night and have it be like this."

"Will you come to me, James?" Khan asks. "May I come to you sometimes? I would like again to sleep in a captain's bed, if only as his consort."

"You can come to me as often as you want, baby," the blond replies, smiling. Khan's cute when he asks for things like that. Just fucking adorable. "You'll be my lover, not my consort." But then there's a pause and Jim starts laughing. "I guess you could be my Khan-sort." God, he's an idiot and he's well aware of it, but he just can't help himself. 

Khan makes a face and then lays back on the pillows, sighing a little. "I suppose I deserved that one." He looks at the slumbering kittens, too tired to care about the lunatic giggling beside them.

"I'm sorry." Jim leans over and kisses him apologetically. "Love me?"

Khan wraps a hand over the back of James' head and deepens the kiss, stroking through the soft locks. "More than life."

Jim doesn't doubt that for a moment, either. "Love you, too," he says. It still amazes him a little that he can say that so easily now. 

Khan shivers slightly at the words, knowing James means them. "Sleep for awhile?" He gestures to the kittens. "They will not be moving for some time."

"Yeah. I'm sleepy, anyway." Jim wraps around Khan and the kittens as much as he can and he yawns a little. "G'night, Noonien."

"Sleep well, my James. Thank you for my kittens." Khan kisses his crown and then nuzzles in to stay.

"You're welcome," Jim manages to reply before sleepiness and love and comfort lure him into good dreams.


	19. And the Day After

Khan enjoys a long night being snuggled close to his lover and kittens. His fingers trail lazily over James' chest and then through the kittens' fur. He loves being able to touch as he likes, knowing his lover enjoys his attentions, even in sleep.

Jim has pleasant dreams of being curled up under an apple tree, on a sunny, warm California day, with Khan at his side. Though, Khan happens to be fuzzy, like the kittens, and Jim likes petting his fur. Eventually, he starts to wake up, fingers still rubbing lightly against Khan's side. "Mmmn," he hums, slowly opening his eyes. 

"It is early yet, my James," Khan whispers. "Were you having pleasant dreams?" He lightly traces his fingers over the perfect muscles of James' abdomen. 

"I dreamed you were fuzzy," Jim mumbles in reply, stretching out what limbs he can without disturbing anyone.

"Fuzzy," Khan deadpans and caresses each limb tenderly. "As usual, you make no sense."

"Yeah. Fuzzy like the kitties. I was snuggling you because you were so warm. We were under an apple tree out on a farm in California. It was really nice," he explains, smiling at the thought. 

"Sometime," Khan says. "Perhaps we can find such a place on one of the planets to be explored." He kisses the smile.

Jim just grins a little wider. "I'd like that. Maybe a nice shore leave where we can sneak off and have a little alone time."

"I will sneak wherever you wish," Khan promises and traces fingers tenderly up his side. "Whenever you wish. Especially as an excuse to be close to you."

"Like we are right now? I sleep really well when you're here." Jim used to sleep (mostly) just fine on his own, with the exception of the occasional nightmares. After having slept with Khan for so long, he craves being close to someone at night. 

"Like we are right now," Khan agrees and rests a hand, gentle, on his neck. "It is lonely without you here to be my company. But I believe the fuzzballs shall help."

Jim reaches up to take Khan's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "They'll snore less, at least," he admits.

"I do not mind that. Besides, the trick with the pillows works well to keep you from sounding like a buzzsaw of old," Khan says. "You temper down to purrs."

"...I purr in my sleep?" Jim sounds almost horrified by that particular revelation. 

"How is that not better than snoring?" Khan asks, confused by the mortification. "It's merely a reduced version of the snores, which then sound like purrs. I am rather fond of it, as you sound happy."

"Well, when you put it like that..." Jim laughs a little and is right back to smiling. "Though, it makes me wonder how long you've stayed up just to watch me sleep."

"I do not require sleep as you do, my James," Khan says and touches his nose with one finger, playful. "And I have enjoyed being at your side, while you sleep, listening to you breathe and purr."

"If I weren't dating you, that would be really, really creepy." Jim grins and nips at Khan's fingertip, feeling just as playful. 

Khan grumbles and says, "Were you not mine, I would not be so close to you. I should not wish you to find me disturbing." He flicks James' nose and mouth.

That's going to earn Khan more playful bites as Jim gently snaps after his fingers. "It's a good thing you're ridiculously attractive, then, isn't it?"

"Ah, cause that is all you see in me," Khan says with fake disapproval. "My looks are all that matter." He allows James to catch one of his fingers.

The blond sucks on it lightly, giving him finger fellatio. "Does it help that your ass is absolutely glorious?"

Khan hooks his finger and uses it to pull James up for a kiss, not quite as sweet as before. "No," he says and nips sharply, but not enough to do more than sting a bit.

"Mm," Jim grunts in response, licking the bitten spot, but not minding the minor pain. "What about if I said that it turns me on when you get all dominant?" 

Khan makes a face and then carefully removes the kittens from the bed, setting them on the ground despite their petulant mews. They head for their food, though, a nice substitute. Meanwhile, Khan shifts to straddle James, body strong over him, despite the last aches of his wounds. "I do not believe," he says in a dangerous tone, "that I find that sufficient answer."

That sudden change of attitude goes straight to Jim's cock, and it makes his whole body shudder with a delicious tremor. He looks up at Khan, lifting his chin defiantly. "It's the only answer you're gonna get," he replies, wanting to know what his lover will do.

Khan snarls and says, "If that is all I am to you, then I suppose you shall have to make do without it." He eyes James all over and then flips him to his stomach with a quick move.

Jim moans, trying to keep as quiet as he can, but the way Khan flips him over and pushes him back down into the mattress is well on its way to making Jim hard. And then there's the way Khan snarls... Fuck, it's menacing and yet all the best shivers run along Jim's skin. "Make do without what? Your beautiful face to brighten my day?" he purrs. 

"This," Khan says, pushing his down even more and then scraping his teeth over the nape of his neck, over his mark. "And everything that goes with this."

"Hnn, fuck," Jim whines, instinctively tipping his head to expose his neck to Khan. "No, please. I want it." 

"But not enough to confess that I'm anything more than a pretty face and ass to you," Khan snarls and loosens up a little. "You do not care."

"No, I do care. I do. I love you. Please, put the mark back," Jim begs, the game forgotten. He doesn't want to be stubborn. He just wants Khan to mark him again. 

Khan softens instantly and latches his teeth on to the nape of James' neck, below his collar. He sucks up his mark, rumbling contentedly as he does. Lifting his head, he nips softly at James' right ear and whispers, "I love you, as well, my James. So much." 

Jim should be ashamed at how quickly he gave in, but it doesn't matter. He moans quietly the whole time Khan sucks that mark onto his skin and ruts against the mattress, feeling fulfilled at a very basic level. It's like taking a breath and suddenly realizing there's been no air in the room up until now. "I missed having it there..."

Khan rolls and takes James with him, holding him in his arms, tight and close. He ignores any aches and pains associated with the wounds, wanting and needing his James. "I love you for so much, my James," he whispers. "Your looks are so unimportant in the scheme of how I love you."

Jim curls against him, clinging as tightly as he dares. "And you know I don't only like you because you're gorgeous, right?" 

"I do," Khan assures and kisses his ear sweetly. "Not that I object to the idea of you finding me gorgeous." He thumbs over his mark. "I did not mean to upset you."

"I know. I just wanted to make sure." Jim can feel the slight, wet burn at the back of his neck and it's comforting. That mark was something he had nearly constantly when he and Khan were together, and he hopes he'll be able to keep it up when they're on the ship, though maybe it'll have to move somewhere else... Mm, like the inside of his thigh. Yeah. That'd be good. 

"You should like me to tell you more often," Khan says. "Assure you of my devotion and affection. I am happy to do so as often as you require. Know that, my James, as you know the Enterprise is your lady."

Jim shakes his head. "It's nice to hear, but you don't have to go overboard. I just didn't want you to have any doubts that I'll still love you, even if you have scars." 

"It is not often, I admit, that I have been in this position," Khan says. "Marcus' minions really did make a mess in their escape attempt. It is a wonder the casualties were not even higher."

"It's because you're amazing," Jim says, stroking lightly at Khan's bicep. "Things would have been worse if you hadn't taken them out." 

Khan thanks his words with a kiss and says, "I am grateful to them for bringing me this time with you. Indeed, I am even grateful to Marcus for that."

"Don't thank him for anything. Thank Spock. The older one. He's been a lot of help with everything." Jim has to admit that friends in high places are useful, though he does swear that he'll pay Spock back someday. Somehow. 

"He is a most unique individual," Khan allows. "I prefer him to the younger one, even if you regard them both as friends." He nibbled at the curve of James' neck.

"My Spock'll get there some day. The older one has had time to reconcile a lot of things, and I've had a lot more time to rub off on him. So, give the younger one a break, yeah?" Jim requests with a quiet mewl at the end, brought on by that nibbling. 

"I am certain he will not give me the same, but I will not go out of my way to antagonize him," Khan says. "And I shall not easily take offense. Not so long as I know I will have you at the end of the day."

"Good. 'Cause you will," Jim assures, pleased that Khan is definitely willing to make an effort. He'll be ragging Spock about doing the same. "And don't worry, I'll give him shit if I catch him picking on you."

"Picking on me?" Khan asks with an actual smile. "I do believe that is beneath a Vulcan's dignity." 

Jim grins. "He has ways of doing it, believe me. He and Bones, they nag each other like a married couple."

"But they care for each other, in their own way, " Khan says. "Perhaps they will be more than friends eventually." He casts a sideways look at Jim, smirking slightly.

Jim nearly chokes on his own spit at that suggestion, spluttering a little. "Okay, that wasn't something I needed to picture, thanks." 

Khan chuckles lightly and says, "And here I believed that nothing fazed you in a sexual sense." He cups Jim's cheek and tugs him into a light kiss. "They would be an ideal couple."

"No," Jim whines. "Shh. Don't say it." He lightly bites at Khan's lip in retaliation. "You can't talk about them like that or I'll have nightmares."

"Yes, Captain," Khan promises, amused by the whine. He slides a hand down James' torso and spans it across his vulnerable midriff. "I would not wish to give you nightmares."

Jim pushes into the touch and sighs in relief. "Good. I really didn't want to start dreaming about the fight they'd have about who got to top."

"The good doctor, without question," Khan says with a smirk into the back of James' neck.

Okay, that actually makes Jim laugh. "Oh, God, you're probably right, that's the worst bit." 

Khan laughs with him, his rich laugh blending well with James' lighter one. He thanks him for that laughter, for the happiness he feels, with a kiss that speaks of everything James is to him. His fingers scratch lightly over James' abdomen, playful and arousing.

The blond groans quietly into the kiss, overwhelmed by the sudden display of affection, but responding to it as much as he possibly can. He kisses Khan back until he runs out of air and then he has to break away with a gasp. "Noonien," he purrs, well aware of the fingers making their way teasingly closer to sensitive areas. He wants to have a little fun, but at the same time, it's getting later in the morning. "What about your check-up?"

Khan grumbles and stills his hand from further exploration. "Yes, James, you are correct. May I continue once you are done?" He lightly kisses James' cheek, an almost platonic touch. 

Jim reaches to run his fingers through Khan's hair and rub comfortingly at his scalp. "Once Boyce has taken a look at you and I've put your cream on, then you can do whatever you want with me."

"Oh, so many things I want," Khan murmurs and then stretches, hissing slightly at the pull on his remaining burns. "I do believe you will see an improvement in my wounds even from last night. My system is finally catching up with them all."

"Good. I'm glad to hear it. The sooner you heal, the better. At least then the next time we're together, you'll be well enough for the really good stuff," Jim replies encouragingly. 

"Ah, back to sex being the only thing that matters," Khan teases, but his eyes shine with agreement. He also misses being intimate with his James very, very much. "We have a few months until I may join you on the Enterprise." 

"I've been a good boy," Jim says and nods his agreement with himself. "Haven't even flirted with anybody. Well, maybe a little with Spock the Elder," he adds impishly. 

Khan raises both eyebrows and asks, "And what does he think of your flirting, this elder Spock?"

"He asked me to marry him and become his bondmate," Jim says seriously, but it's so ridiculous, he's sure Khan will pick up that he's joking about the whole thing. 

Khan tilts his head and narrows his eyes, thinking for a moment. "Was he such for the other Kirk?"

Huh, Jim thinks. Should've seen that one coming. "Yeah, they were," he replies, seeing no reason to hide it from his lover. It's not like Spock's acted indecently toward him, or anything. 

"How hard it must be or him to see you now, his James, but not his James," Khan murmurs, pressing a kiss to his crown. He considers this a moment longer. "Yes, I respect him all the more for that."

"I think it makes him less lonely. Like how I make you less lonely. He seems to enjoy my company." It's easier for Jim to believe that he's a boon rather than a burden, though it has occurred to him that it might be difficult for that Spock to see his old lover in such a form. 

"Yes, I believe this. You are his friend. And he is seemingly content with that. I do not believe I could be content merely with that now. It would not ease my loneliness sufficiently." Khan offers an apologetic smile for James.

"Good thing I wouldn't ask that if you, then, right?" Jim turns his head to give him another kiss. "I should get dressed." 

"I should prepare for Dr. Boyce," Khan agrees with a sigh and crawls slowly out of the bed, detangling himself from his James. He leans in and kisses his cheeks, even as he heads for the fresher.

Jim lounges in the bed for a moment longer, soaking in the residual heat from his lover before he finally gets up and tracks down his wayward clothing. It's rumpled, but at least, given how little time he's actually spent in it, it doesn't smell too bad. 

Khan returns to dress and admires James openly from across the room. His eyes practically smolder, as he pauses his actions to just watch every movement of his captain. His James. "I am also not immune to your own beauty, James."

Jim smirks and turns to show his ass to Khan as he pulls his boxers up to cover it. "Sadly, all the best parts are hidden now." 

Khan crosses the room in several strides and says, "Your best features are never hidden and are always hidden." He cups James' face and kisses his forehead.

Jim's brows furrow, and he blinks at Khan. "That was cryptic." He has no idea what his lover is talking about. 

"Your eyes," Khan says, "which show me how you feel. And your heart, which carries that feeling and all your are." He nips at his nose and then his mouth.

Jim considers him for a moment and then kisses him back, smiling and amused. "You're a sap. I shouldn't still be surprised by this." 

"I am also deeply sensitive," Khan deadpans, "and have fallen in love with a man whose artistic sensibilities are rivaled by those of a sea slug."

That brings a bright grin to Jim's face. "Thanks! Some of those nudibranchs are pretty damn colorful."

"One cannot argue your colorfulness," Khan agrees with a smirk. 

"You're jealous," Jim surmises with a self-assured nod and settles his fists on his hips. The effect is somewhat diminished since he's still not wearing pants. 

"I might be, if you were not mine," Khan agrees and pushes James playfully against the wall to kiss thoroughly. "But you are, so I am well satisfied instead."

Jim pinches Khan's nipple through his shirt in equally-playful retaliation as he lets out a quiet moan. Khan's kisses always make his head swim a little. "Have a thing for sea slugs, do you?"

"That explains much of my attraction to you, I concede," Khan says, growling softly at the pinch. "I seem to be truly perverse."

"Hey, some people have a thing for tentacles," Jim says with a teasing shrug, as if he's not about to judge Khan for his weird kinks. 

"Disgusting," Khan say with a faux wrinkle of his nose. "I cannot stand such." He nuzzles James' forehead, grateful for this easiness between them, the ability to play.

"No? Then what about the slime? Is it the slime?" Jim's grin just grows a little more and he pinches Khan's nipple a little more firmly. 

"Well, you are a little slimy," Khan agrees. "Especially when you have gown without a shower for multiple days." 

"Oh, come on! It's not my fault if I've been kidnapped and they don't let me wash properly," he whines. 

Khan rubs his face in James' hair and says, "I did not day I minded. After all, you've got a pleasant scent for me." 

Jim relaxes a bit, flattening his palm against Khan's chest. "Liar. I could probably smelly like dead trout and rafflesia and you wouldn't tell me." 

Khan laughs and says, "If it might harm your ego... but I may remind you, my James, that I have more than once instructed you to wash. And not only for my pleasure."

"It doesn't count if you're the one who gets me all sweaty and dirty," Jim counters. "And you do that a lot."

"No, then you are not slimy...well-" Khan's smile twists into something completely wicked. He bites at James' jaw lightly and then sucks a little. "Sentiments best left unspoken."

Jim can't help but laugh a little. "Probably because you'd say them with that accent, and I'd crumple to my knees and vow to become your willing sex slave for the rest of eternity." 

"Are you not already willing?" Khan asks, soft and low. His fingers trail down James' side. "I have yet to use my voice alone to bring you climax. I look forward to that."

"If anyone could do it, it'd be you," Jim murmurs back, curling his fingers into Khan's shirt and pulling him even closer. "I should probably put on pants," he says reluctantly after a moment.

"We should both be presentable before Dr. Boyce arrives," Khan says with equal reluctance. "And before the kittens decide they are about to starve to death, even though they just polished off the remainder from last night." He glances across the room at two pairs of eager green eyes.

Jim follows the line of Khan's gaze and then snorts in amusement. "Great, they've already got the begging face down pat. Wonder who they learned that from?" He finally manages to separate himself from his lover so he can find his pants, and he tugs them on.

"You," Khan says with a smirk and moves to fill their bowls with kitten kibble. He crouches to stroke over each of their backs, smiling privately to himself. These tiny lives, something he would have overlooked, sneered at, in the past. But these little ones were family now, a gift from the one he held dearest. 

Jim shakes his head. "No, I bet it was from you. You had a pretty convincing begging face when you called me last time." Though, it's not the most pleasant memory. His heart still pounds in his chest when he thinks of how Khan could have been killed. 

"I am not sure the last time counts," Khan says with a look over his shoulder. "That was a unique circumstance...even for us."

"Good thing we both have friends in high places," Jim quips, trying to lighten the mood again. 

Khan raises his eyebrows at James and asks, "Are you counting yourself as a friend in a high place on my behalf?"

"No, I was talking about Boyce," Jim replies, amused. Even his ego isn't that big. 

"He is a good friend," Khan agrees. "I could use several more like him. The elder Spock is also a good friend." He pauses and looks down at his feet. "I would help the Vulcans someday to rebuild their home."

"I'm sure they'd appreciate that," Jim replies, a little proud of his lover for having such a selfless thought. "It'd make me happy, too." 

"I know what it is to have lost so much," Khan says. "To try and rebuild from near nothing. I would see them successful in their endeavor." 

The blond comes over to wrap Khan up in a tight hug. "I know, baby. I know." 

Surprised and deeply pleased with the gesture, Khan hugs him tight and gentle at the same time. He had thought James might try to lighten the mood, but instead, he offers this serious response, this caring response. He reminds Khan, as if he needs reminding, why he loves James. "Thank you. I did not mean to be so serious."

Jim can be serious when he needs to be. This was one of those times. He nuzzles up under his lover's chin and presses kisses along his neck. "That's okay. Don't worry about that. I don't mind." 

Khan rumbles a little under his breath and rubs his chin in to the soft hair of James' head. His breath hitches a little in his throat. "Sometimes, I cannot help but think of them..."

"Of course. They were your family." Jim holds him closer, trying to offer what support he can. It's not much, but he hopes it helps. 

"All of this. The incarceration. The therapy. These are minor in terms of punishment, my James, compared to the weight of knowing I failed them," Khan says softly.

"You did everything you could," Jim replies quietly, still just nuzzling at him. He wishes there were more he could do to erase his lover's pain. 

"And I still failed," Khan says tiredly and curls into him. "These are things I have barely been able to discuss with Dr. Boyce, but with you, I feel much easier talking to you." 

"S'what I'm here for." Jim strokes carefully along Khan's back, careful to avoid the sore spots he knows of. "We can talk about it as much as you want. I'll listen." 

"After Dr. Boyce's visit?" Khan asks. "While you tend my wounds? Or after?" He allows James to take more of his weight, content to do so.

"Any time you want, baby. Any time, now or in the future." Jim will hold him up, even if Khan slumps entirely against him. For once, Jim will be his support, will carry him through. Khan's done that for him many times already. 

Khan rests his head against James and shuts his eyes, allowing himself to be vulnerable and rely on someone else for a moment. The only person he had ever allowed himself to rely on. Dr. Boyce would be so proud. That makes him smile a little, as does the kittens nosing curiously at them and trying to find some attention.

Jim enjoys the closeness, even if it's brought on by less-than-ideal circumstances. It makes him happy that Khan trusts him with this. Though, it's nearly impossible to ignore the insistent prodding and quiet mewling. "Seems we have company."

Khan gently lifts the kittens and cradles them between himself and James. The kittens purr and rub against them both, before Jamie begins trying to groom James with her little tongue. That makes Khan laugh and relax, taking more of his own weight.

"Oh my God," Jim says, aghast, "I must be absolutely hideous if the cats are trying to help me." Still, he reaches up to stroke their fur and will let Jamie lick as much as she wants to. 

"She just wants her mother to be clean," Khan teases and watches as Jamie bunts her head against his chin. He keeps Tiberius tucked against himself, taking no little comfort from the small creature. 

"What? No. I'm the dad. You're raising them, you're the mom," Jim protests. He sure as hell isn't gonna get labeled as the mom without a fight. 

"Is there something wrong with being the one regarded as closest and most involved in care and protection?" Khan asks.

"You're the mom," Jim insists with a nod. He's not taking 'no' for an answer. 

"And yet, you are the one being groomed," Khan points out with a soft smile, as Jamie continues her devoted attentions to James' face.

"What's that got to do with anything? Doesn't mean you're not the mom." Jim's so very stubborn about this, but he still doesn't stop the licking. 

Khan just smirks at James, amused by his strange protestations, and says, "And here, I believed that all ridiculous notions of gender inequality were gone." 

"No, that's not even-- Don't be a dick." He sticks his tongue out at Khan. "I'd be a terrible mom. I'd drop my kids on their heads accidentally, or step on them when I'm not watching where I'm going, or take them to work and get them kidnapped by Gorn." 

"So, that makes you a better candidate for fatherhood?" Khan asks. "Perhaps I was thinking you thought too little of the wrong gender."

"I'm not good for any kind of parenthood." Jim shakes his head. 

Jamie mews and bunts against James' face, spreading her to scent to her   
family.

"She disagrees," Khan says with a smile.

"Your kid just headbutted me," Jim complains, but he's still grinning. He headbutts her back, but it's more like a light tap of his nose against hers. And it promptly gets licked. "GAH."

"Yes, you are terrible at this," Khan agrees, smile widening even more. He rubs his own cheek against Tiberius, which the kitten responds to by purring. "None of my people were ever parents. But I have always wanted a child. It was considered wrong for augments, but still..."

"Why was it considered wrong?" Jim asks, blinking in confusion. That doesn't make sense for him. They have superior genes, right? 

"Part of our training," Khan says. "And we were busy with other things, as well. As you know." He leans in and presses a kiss to his mouth. 

"Yeah, but... Why was it part of your training? I mean, once you guys were out there on your own, ruling countries and whatever, why couldn't you start families?" Jim presses. 

"The idea was not for augments to rule forever, but to tame mankind and end wars. When we died out, we'd leave chosen heirs to rule in our stead. Human ones. Many augments were incapable of even producing heirs...deliberately made to be infertile." 

"Ah..." Jim feels bad for them. How much would it suck to be unable to have kids, even if you wanted them? "I'm sorry."

Khan raises an eyebrow and asks teasingly, "Do I seem infertile to you?"

"Hey, never know. Some people can come, but there's no viable sperm." Jim bumps his forehead with Khan. "Not that it would matter either way 'cause I'm not about to grow a womb, so." 

"Technically, you are correct," Khan says, "but I am not one of the infertile. I was an earlier creation, and that was one thing imperfect at the time of my making."

"Good." It's kind of nice to know that if something happens to him, Khan does have a chance to find a nice girl and make a million babies and have a family. 

"Well, I have always thought so," Khan deadpans and then kisses James again. "But as you say, there is little use for it where you are concerned."

"I know," but Jim's tone conveys that he thinks there's always a possibility Khan might need it later. 

Khan just huffs a breath at James and then tugs him into a deeper kiss, freeing the kittens to play. "Don't be so stupid." 

"What?" he asks, innocent. "I just agreed with you, that's all." 

"Of course," Khan says and then rises, pulling James with him. "We have dallied far longer than is wise, my James."

"Yeah." Jim nods in agreement. "Go do your appointment thing. I'll be here when you get back." 

"Look after the kids while I am gone," Khan teases and heads for the door. He glances back at James, drinking him in for another moment, before heading out to see Dr. Boyce, his guards at his side instantly as escort. But at least there are no more bonds to embarrass him in front of his lover.


	20. Field Trip

While Khan's gone, Jim promptly lays himself out on the floor and rolls around with the kittens, letting them paw and tackle him to their hearts' content. They're so cute, Jim just can't resist. 

Though, after a while, they've all played themselves out and they curl up in a heap on the floor, Jim on the bottom and the kittens sleeping while sprawled across his side and hip. The snoring might be coming from all three of them. 

Khan returns, a little shaken, as he always is by his sessions, and finds his lover and two kittens asleep on the floor. Warmth spreads inside him, easing away the distress of his latest conversation with Dr. Boyce, and he moves silently over to his James. Without hesitation, he stretches out beside them and rests his head on one outstretched arm. His wounds protest the position, but he ignores their discomfort for the closeness of his family.

The kittens are far more perceptive than Jim is. Eventually, they realize there's someone else there and they wake up, trouncing all over Jim in their eagerness to go visit with the new person in hopes of petting. 

"It's like getting stomped on by pixies," Jim murmurs, one eye cracking open to look at Khan. "How was it?"

Khan allows the kittens to crawl all over him and strokes their soft sides and bellies. He turns his head to James, though, and meets his eyes. "Our official conversations are never pleasant. However, as you and I had spoken of a much more difficult subject this morning, I believe Dr. Boyce was pleased by my candor."

Jim smiles at that and reaches over to brush his thumb against his lover's lower lip. "That's good. I'm proud of you." 

Khan's eyes flutter shut at the praise, and he catches James' hand to press kisses to it. "It was your doing more than any others, my James." 

"No, I'm not gonna take the credit for that." Jim shakes his head. "You did that. That's your win, baby." 

Khan chuckles at that idea and then reaches out to pull James closer to him, tucking him to his side. "Thank you, my James. I realize I have gotten better at speaking of my emotions and situation to others. I am not sure yet how I feel of that."

Jim snuggles right up close, just as greedy for touch as the kittens that have been named after him. "It's a good thing. Means you can make friends." 

"I am not sure that is the same thing," Khan says with a wrinkle of his nose. He leans in to nip at Jim's mouth and nose and then hisses and rolls up. "Damn these things."

"Being able to open up means you'll--" Jim frowns when Khan winces like that and he sits up along with him. "Are you alright?" he asks, worry coloring his tone. 

"I leaned too long on my worst side," Khan confesses and frowns. "Even though they are near healed now, they can still be more painful than I would tell any outside of you. I am well used to pain, but not of this sort."

Jim kisses at his shoulder carefully. "You'll be healed up soon and then you won't have to worry about it anymore."

"I am anxious for that time." Khan turns a smile to James. "Although, I will then not have an excuse for you to tend to me. As I ask you to do now, if you will?"

"Of course I will." The blond kisses Khan's shoulder one more time, just to make sure he's thoroughly kissed things better. "Where's the ointment?"

"On the bedside table," Khan says, shooing kittens before him, as he moves to his feet. He sheds his clothing again, careful of damaged areas, and stretches out on the bed, letting James see all of him to best apply the ointment.

Jim gets up, too, and goes over to grab the ointment, twisting the jar open. "Hey, you're right. Your back is definitely looking better than it was." 

"Yes, I am finally getting new skin," Khan says, looking at the pink new layer. "And not resembling so much a charred piece of toast." He is still grateful James never saw him as he looked when first found.

The blond tenderly brushes his fingers over some of that sensitive pink skin, and then he dips them into the ointment and starts to spread it, carefully rubbing it in where the skin isn't quite as raw. "Really not something I want to picture..."

Khan sighs at the dually pleasant sensations of being healed and touched by his lover. "Nor see. I am sorry for mentioning it in such a way." 

"No, it's okay. It's something I'd better get used to. I can't let feelings get in the way of my better judgement when I'm Captain." Jim sighs a little, but already knew that issue before he decided he was going to bring Khan on the Enterprise. 

"I shall not hesitate, if ever you need order me into a dangerous situation," Khan says and looks at James. "Your ship and crew come first."

"I'm the one who needs to worry about not hesitating." Khan's not the one who might have to order his boyfriend into danger, after all. 

"I meant simply that I understand, my James. And I am far more resilient than most of your crew. Do you worry that you cannot do your duty with me there?" Khan asks.

"I'll do my duty," Jim says firmly. Question is whether or not he'll end up hating himself for it. Oh well. Thoughts for another time, maybe. He refocuses on covering Khan with cream. If Khan's going to be on the Enterprise, he's got to heal up, first. 

Khan reaches out and strokes James' cheek. "You command your friends. You will do well by me. I know this."

"I hope so." Jim smiles a little in response and then finishes up so he can put the lid back on the jar of cream. "There. Doing good. You can get up now." 

Khan lounges back and looks at James with half-lidded eyes. "And if I do not wish to?"

"Then you stay right there while I wash this gunk off my hand and try not to trip to my death on cats," Jim replies as he picks his way carefully to the bathroom. 

Khan smiles and calls, "Jamie. Tibierus." in a voice that he once would never have used. But sure enough, Jamie soon appears on the bed, having climbed up the spread, and Tiberius begins pathetic mewls below, still unable. Khan eases over and scoops him up, so that both kittens are on the bed with him. He pulls on his soft pants, breathing out a little as even they chafe tender skin.

Jim comes back shortly, marvelling at the kittens. "Are you seriously telling me they come when you call? Dude, you're the cat whisperer." 

Khan fixes his eyes on him and calls in a very different, but similarly enticing way, "James."

Yessir," the blond replies and bounds over, crawling his way into the bed despite all the obstacles.

"Do you think," Khan asks, once he has James and the kittens arranged satisfactorily, "that you might ask the good Dr. Boyce to allow me some time to wander the grounds with you today? I am still weak from wounds and with proper guards and you there, it may be allowable."

"Yeah. Sure thing, baby. Don't you worry about that." Jim smiles brightly at him, happy for something that he can actually help with. He has no doubt he'll be able to convince Boyce. 

"Perhaps we can even teach Jamie and Tiberius to walk on leashes," Khan says. "Then they will be allowed to explore more themselves."

Jim bites at his lip, trying to keep from laughing. "You want to put two mini-mes on leashes? Good luck, Noonien. I'll miss you." 

Khan laughs softly and says, "You underestimate me, my James. And I should like them to see the outdoors sometime."

"Fair enough. I'll ask around if there's any cat leashes here." Though, the thought of Khan walking the kittens is almost too cute to bear."

"I doubt they keep them handy," Khan says. "Perhaps you can send me a pair in a care package."

"I'll send some through before I have to ship back out, how about that?" 

"I would like that," Khan agrees. He looks at the kittens, contentedly sacked out with their humans and purring. "If they truly loathe the idea, I shall not force them."

"They'll get used to it. They'll be happy just to get outside." Jim presses a kiss to Khan's forehead and then starts to disentangle himself once more. "I'm gonna go talk to Boyce and see about getting you some freedom."

Khan sighs a little as James leaves so soon, but says, "Thank you. A day out in the fresh air will do me good. You know to stress the rehabilitation aspects." His voices hold more than a note of teasing.

"I'll tell him you're allergic to cement," Jim teases right back and then he heads out. 

The talk with Boyce goes well, as expected, even if the equally blue-eyed doctor is immune to Jim's charms. Most of them, anyway. Even if he does have an immunity to the blond's puppy eyes, he's always had a soft spot for Jim's boyish, cheerful demeanor. 

So, Jim comes back a little less than an hour later, looking rather smug. 

Khan has dressed fully by then and is reading a PADD, while two kittens sleep on him. He looks up when James returns and smiles, seeing victory. "May we go now?"

"Absolutely. The kids got food?" Jim asks, wanting to make sure he doesn't leave hungry babies behind. 

"There as some kitten crunchies in their bowls," Khan says, gently setting them on the bed and then getting up himself. "I do not see how you can possible worry about your parenting skills when you fuss so."

"Food is the easy part," Jim replies. "C'mon, baby. Get dressed and we'll go." He holds out his hand invitingly. 

Khan slides on his shirt and then a pair of socks and boots, before taking James' hand. "Lead on."

Jim kisses Khan's knuckles and keeps holding his hand until he opens the door. They can't exactly walk out, hand-in-hand, for all the world to see, but Jim stays close to him as he leads the way to the outside. 

Khan sighs as James releases him and notices the squadron of security guards, all at a discreet distance, keeping watch. He walks into the first patch of sunshine, stops and stretches like a cat, tall and proud, face turned up to the light.

"Feels good, doesn't it?" Jim turns towards the sun, too, closing his eyes and enjoying it. Even if he's been on Vulcan with it's burning-hot desert climate, there's still no star quite like Sol. 

"Always," Khan agrees and then eases back to just stand, content for a moment to just taste fresh air and feel the warmth of the true sun. "May we walk a little?"

"Sure. How about I let you lead the way?" Jim wants his lover to get free choice of where he goes, since this might not be a frequent thing for the next few months. 

"Is there anywhere we may not go?" Khan asks. "Or a place where we must stop?"

"Other than playing tag with the guards, we're good," Jim replies, looking around and flashing a disarming smile to the nearest guard. 

Khan smiles, too, and says, "I should like to walk near the bay, if we may. I have never really gotten to enjoy the scenery and I hear they are rebuilding Alcatraz."

"Are they? Sure, let's go take a look, then. After you!" Jim makes a grand, dramatic sweeping gesture and grins boyishly. 

Khan rolls his eyes at him in an imitation of Jim and then heads slowly for a trail that leads to the bay. He wishes he might hold James' hand, but contents himself with simply being near and enjoying the outdoors. "When I am well, perhaps I can help rebuild the island. It is still a very popular park. Was." His face tightens with a bit of regret. 

"When you're well, you'll be off with me, exploring the stars," Jim says with a wistful look. He really wants that day to come sooner, but patience has never been his strong suit. 

"I meant before then, as part of my rehabilitation," Khan says with a hopeful look at James. "I can bear being cooped up for a little while longer, but if there is some other way..." He stops and just breathes deeply. "This freedom reminds me of how stifled I have been, my James."

Jim takes a quick look around and then leans in to press a chaste kiss to Khan's lips. "I'll put in a good word for you. I'm sure they'd be happy to have the help."

"I once rebuilt a palace, but that was for my own use," Khan says, smiling at James for the kiss. "Perhaps it would be...instructive to do something for others."

"It'd be good for you, especially the teamwork." Those are skills Khan is going to need on Jim's ship, and Jim thinks it's a good idea to build them up a little beforehand. 

"Following orders?" Khan asks, walking down the path again. "Doing my share?" He brushes a hand over one of James' and says, "And do a very little to make up for what I have done." He pauses and looks back toward the city. "Even in my time, this city, San Francisco, was a place of history and myth. Despite all Marcus did and how he twisted your Starfleet, I can see how this city is the right place for its headquarters."

It makes Jim happy to hear Khan say that. It'll be nice if he starts forming attachments to Earth, even in small ways. It'll help make him feel like part of the community, and if he can help build it, even better. "This is a really good idea, baby. I'm glad you brought it up. I'll do everything I can to make sure it happens."

Khan affects a haughty look and says, "All of my ideas are good ones," but his posture relaxes a little, as only Jim ever sees.

"PFF," is Jim's only response. That, and an equally haughty raise of his eyebrow that would make Spock and Bones proud. 

"Come along, Captain, I should not like to stop now," Khan says.

"Yessir," Jim chirps and follows after him, looking out at the scenery. It's been a while since he's had the opportunity just to enjoy San Francisco. 

Khan turns toward the Golden Gate, feeling a strange relief that he hadn't rammed into the bridge with the Vengeance. He heads back to the trail and picks up the pace a little, wanting to get to the water.

"Should've brought my swimming trunks," Jim remarks casually as he walks along, but then he winces. "Sorry. I guess you can't swim right now." 

"The water is far too cold for swimming," Khan says, "and I would be a fearful sight for most people."

"Fuck them. Everybody can swim if they wanna." Jim nods stubbornly and glances out at the water. He doesn't really mind when it's cold. Still, now isn't the opportunity for swimming. 

"I mean dangerously cold, James. As in hypothermia inducing," Khan says. "Which is a good reason not to swim."

"Just means I'd have to bring blankets," Jim replies cheerily. Cold water weeds out the cowards!

"No wonder your Bones regrets ever letting you outside on your own," Khan says with another eyeroll.

That just makes Jim grin even more broadly. "It's called 'being vivacious'."

"It's called being a nitwit," Khan replies in his most bored tone, but there is a smirk at his lips. Still, he continues on the path, not wanting James to get too into his idea.

It's always a good idea to distract Jim when he goes off on potentially hazardous lines of thought. He stays for a moment to look out at the bay, and then he jogs to catch up with Khan. "I'm not a nitwit. I'm a genius."

"You hide it well," Khan says. "And on purpose." He looks over the restored wetlands and sandy dunes, covered in native plants. The area is one of the largest urban parks in the world, as it has been for hundreds of years. He feels somehow close to this place, which was here even when augments ruled.

"Mm hmm," Jim hums in agreement and takes in deep breaths of the fresh air. It's so much more humid than air on the Enterprise. Jim feels like he can smell everything. 

Khan laughs softly and companionably bumps his shoulder to James'. "Thank you, Captain, for persuading them to allow me this time. This place is...restorative."

"It's amazing what some sun and fresh air will do for you. Thought I was getting too much of it on Vulcan, but apparently not." Jim bumps Khan back and beams at him. "I'll have an awesome tan by the time I'm done working there." 

"You mean, you shall resemble a well-done lobster," Khan says with quiet amusement. "I would, as well, if not for my augmentation."

"Shut up. I can tan. I'm not Irish." Jim pokes lightly at Khan's cheek. "You wouldn't look good tanned, anyway."

"No, even I know that I would look foolish," Khan agrees. "My complexion is not made for tanning." He steps away from the poking fingers.

"Don't need it, anyway. You're gorgeous," Jim adds casually. 

"Your looks need no further enhancement, my James, as well you should know," Khan says, kneeling to lightly touch a delicate flower blooming in the sand. 

"Better not start comparing me to the flower," Jim teases, but crouches down to look at it, too. 

Khan tilts his head at James and says, "There are worse things to be compared to. Look how this flower grows out of the sand, strong and vibrant, despite the adversity of its environment. It reminds me very much of you."

Jim laughs, amused that Khan made the comparison anyway. "This flower's got it easy, are you kidding?" 

"Got it easy?" Khan asks with a snort. "Have you forgotten the way the fog howls through here? And have you noticed this is growing on sand...moving sand at that?"

"If it can grow on New Vulcan, I'll be impressed," Jim replies with a smile. 

Khan tosses sand at James and says, "Yes, those plants are also impressive, but New Vulcan has a higher soil nutrient concentration than this sand. And the weather here is equally harsh at times, if different."

"PFF!" Jim wipes at his face and eyes Khan. "You're lucky you're injured or I'd tackle you and make you eat that sand." 

"Of course you would," Khan says with a completely straight expression. "Come, James, we shall keep going."

"You're patronizing me, aren't you?" Jim snorts good-naturedly. "Don't underestimate me." 

Khan pauses and looks over his shoulder, eyes narrowed slightly. "I do not. You realize this." 

"I know. I know. I'm teasing. Don't look so serious." Jim nudges him lightly. 

"You don't like being underestimated," Khan says. "I won't chance you thinking that I am anything but proud of all you are." 

Jim takes another quick look around and then takes Khan's hand. "Don't worry about that. Let's just keep walking, okay?"

Khan squeezes his fingers lightly and then walks at James' side, feeling even more content than before. "Better than. All I want right now."

"Good. Don't wanna waste this outing worrying about silly things." Jim thinks that maybe he should learn to shut up for a few minutes and let Khan enjoy the scenery, so he'll try that for a bit and see how long it'll take before silence gets to him. 

Khan glances at him and nods once at James, before even more firmly tangling their fingers. He pulls him a little away from the water and toward the restored wetlands. He also retains his silence, taking a peek for the guards now and then to ensure their twined hands will not be spotted.

Jim figures as long as they walk close enough together, it won't look too suspicious, so he gives Khan's hand a squeeze and enjoys the warmth flowing into his fingers. Every once in a while, he opens his mouth, but then remembers that silence is sometimes a good thing, so he closes it again and just watches Khan, instead. 

Khan feels the faintest color rise in his cheeks, as James' eyes remain on him, instead of looking at the miraculous scenery. He wants very much to pull him behind a tree and kiss him stupid, but the other officers, no matter their distance, preclude that. Still, the fresh air and company makes him feel better than he has in months. And so, he keeps walking, until he reaches a bench with a perfect overlook of everything. There, he pauses to sit and waits for James to join him.

Jim is enjoying this walk in his own way. He enjoys Khan's enjoyment. He's sure that's what it is. He takes a seat next to his lover, rubbing their fingers together casually as he finally takes his gaze away and looks out at the view. 

Khan glances toward James and then the view and then leans back to look at his captain. "You are right, my James the best view is the one closest to me." 

Jim's smile is a little sheepish. "I was that obvious, huh? Sorry about that." 

"I was pleased by the attention," Khan says. "You made me blush. A singular accomplishment."

"It really looked good on you," Jim murmurs, tracing the lines of his lover's cheekbones with his eyes. 

Khan allows more blood to reach his cheeks, a faint blush again to touch his face. He also lowered his eyes and just for a moment, played coy and almost shy. 

"You'd better be careful. There's all kinds of nasty people who'd take advantage of a sweet thing like you," Jim drawls. 

Khan laughs low and says, "You wouldn't do that to me, Captain. I trust you." He flutters his eyelids.

"I know you do, baby, but I've got you to myself and we're all alone..." Jim teases, reaching out to run his fingers along Khan's jaw. Except they're not alone. Jim knows this. Any minute, someone could come to check on them. 

"I do wish that were true," Khan says, turning to kiss those teasing fingers. "This is a perfect spot for what used to be called necking."

"Yeah, I bet I know exactly what that is, too." Jim laughs, letting himself trace Khan's lips before he takes his hand back. "You ever do that? 'Necking'?" 

"Only with you," Khan says, "and not in the way it used to be done. In a place like this. With a view."

"One day. We'll get shore leave somewhere nice, find a nice view, and neck all you want," Jim promises with a confident smile. 

"I shall add it to the list of things we'll do together," Khan says. "It is a very long list. I look forward to trying to accomplish everything on it, while also adding to it exponentially."

"I'm pretty sure between you, Spock, and Bones, you'll make sure I live long enough to get everything on that list done." 

"Never," Khan swears, "for I will add two new things for every one we finish. And I hope you will do the same. We shall never grow weary of the other, so long as we both find new things we wish to do."

"Fucking sap." Still, Jim leans over and presses a kiss to the side of that pouty mouth. "That list is gonna be a mile long." 

Khan turns his face in to deepen the kiss for a moment, before pulling back again. "You have caused my sappiness." 

"I didn't do anything. You can't blame that on me," Jim replies, playfully defensive as he points his finger at Khan accusingly. "That was all you." 

Khan looks unimpressed and turns his gaze to the view again. "May we eat something at the Chrissy Field cafe? The guards say they have excellent sandwiches."

"That sounds great, actually. I'm pretty damn hungr--- Did I even eat anything yesterday?" Jim asks with a sudden blink as his stomach practically roars at him.

Khan snorts and climbs to his feet, reaching for James' again. "Then we should go immediately. Though I hate to lose the view."

Jim takes his hand long enough to stand up and then has to let go of it again. They're headed for populated areas and can't risk it. "Oh my God, why didn't you remind me to eat something?" he whines. Normally, Spock and Bones are right there, telling Jim to eat something when he gets distracted. Apparently, two people on the job just aren't enough. 

"I did," Khan says. "And you did. Apparently, it was not enough for you. I am not sure how it is that you survive."

"No idea." Jim shakes his head. "Let's just get to that sandwich shop before I starve to death." 

"I could carry you and run, but the guards might be frightened," Khan says, though he picks up speed down the trail toward the cafe. 

Jim's laugh could probably be heard all the way up on the bridge. "It'd be one hell of a sight."

Khan smiles in return and says, "Yes, it would be rather startling for those unused to it. And I would not quite be able to manage all my normal feats."

"Just another thing to add to the list for later, though I think we'll probably scratch that one off accidentally during a mission," Jim chirps, oddly pleased about that fact. 

Khan frowns and says, "That is not something to be delighted about. I am not looking forward to having to protect you all the time." But he really, really is.

"Bullshit," Jim calls, nearly skipping on ahead. "You'll love it." 

Khan catches him easily, feeling the guards hurrying to keep up (sort of). "I shall," he says. "Damn you."

That just makes Jim laugh more, a twinkle in his eye. "Now you know how the rest of my crew feels."

"Somehow, I doubt their feelings are quite the same as mine," Khan says, ignoring the slight twinge in his limbs. 

"Alright, alright, I'll give you that much. Not quite. Different kind of love," Jim acknowledges.

"I saw their respect for you from the first moment," Khan says, "even though I did not understand it then."

"Kinda went through a trial by fire. Builds strong bonds." Jim smiles a little, though the memory of all the loses along the way is bitter. "Anyway, s'that the place you were talking about?" he asks, pointing at a cafe down the road. 

"Indeed," Khan says, looking at the sign. "I shall enjoy food that is not from the Starfleet Penal System...and don't be juvenile."

"What?" Jim asks, as if offended. "I know how to behave myself." 

Khan gets ahead and opens the cafe door for James. "This is your treat, by the way."

Jim snorts. "It's not like you've got any money," he teases as he steps inside and heads for the counter. 

There's a slight clamor, which Jim thinks might possibly have been a squee from the girl behind the counter. Recognition. Not the first time Jim's gotten that particular response, and he flashes a bright, charming smile in her direction.

Not too charming, though. He doesn't want her to faint. 

Though, her enthusiasm ebbs a little and her eyes widen when her eyes flick over and see who Jim is with. This ought to be interesting. 

Khan's face has been featured in the news all over Terra after the clusterfuck that had been the end of the entire affair with Marcus and the Vengeance. He has not forgotten this, though over a year and a half of being gone- escaped with James and then locked away- well, he hoped for a little less gawking. 

His head rises, along with his spine, snapping into place to make him the ruler Khan, not the prisoner or lover of a Starfleet captain. He meets the girl's rude stare with a glare of his own, pleased when her gaze drops and she leads them timidly to a table. Still, he turns his eyes away, not wanted James to be too angry.

Jim takes it upon himself to ease the situation. He smiles a little more softly at her when she seats them, and he tips his head enough to look at her nametag. "Abby? That's a pretty name. Hey, Abby. I'm Jim. This is Khan. Pretty sure you knew that already though, hey?"

She nods at him shyly and Jim's eyes crinkle at the corners. "Wanna know a secret?" He leans in conspiratorially and lowers his voice a little, eyes flicking over to Khan. "He's not as scary as everybody says he is." He relaxes back into his chair and gives her a wink. "I promise."

Khan's expression at James is a step short of openly hostile, but then he blows out a harsh breath and says, "He generally keeps his promises. Even the most unlikely ones." He raises a menu to hide behind, suddenly thinking this idea has been a mistake. Though the lists of sandwiches makes his mouth water.

"I do," Jim agrees with a nod, but he really is starving, so he figures he'll get right onto business before Abby decides to flee. He doesn't even look at the menu. He knows what he wants. "I'll have a chicken club. Can you add bacon to that?" he asks, and he smiles when he gets a nod in response. "Awesome. Do that. And I'll have two of those amazing-looking cookies you've got on the front stand there. And a hot chocolate." 

Khan frowns as James orders swiftly, having not yet decided for himself. "I shall take some chai to start with," he says politely, "but am not yet ready to order."

Take your time," Abby replies quickly, skittering off to go fulfill their order thus far. 

Jim looks over at Khan, a little amused. "You tried to get all growly with her." 

"She was staring," Khan says. "Everyone is staring. I feel like some sort of circus act. The fire breathing dragon or the pickled punk." He sighs and returns to scanning the menu, trying to figure out what to eat.

"Acting like the fire-breathing dragon isn't gonna help, you know," Jim points out, though there's no malice in his tone. 

"I was extremely restrained," Khan says from behind the menu, still undecided, though he found himself trending toward the four-cheese grilled cheese sandwich with homemade house chips. "I didn't even leave."

"Gonna have to get used to people looking at you. Didn't lots of people look at you like that before?" Jim asks. He figures if Khan ruled a large part of the world, he'd have had to expect stares. 

"Yes, but at the time, I was a ruler, respected and feared," Khan says, "which made up for the hatred. Now, there's only hatred...even the fear is mostly gone." He looks around for a moment, at the eyes of the other patrons, most of them flicking over to him now and then. 

Jim bobs his head a little, understanding where Khan is coming from. "Can't really blame them, though. They're only going by the side of yourself that you showed them. It's all they know." 

Khan makes a slight noise, faint and barely discernible, of distress, but nothing more. He sets the menu aside and sits up even straighter, refusing now to look other than straight ahead. "I have never cared what others thought before..." 

Under the table, Jim rubs his foot against Khan's ankle comfortingly. "It's gonna be okay, Noonien," he says, just quietly enough for only Khan to hear. "It's a good thing they're not running away and screaming." 

Khan's lips curls up slightly into a smile, and he says, "You are a terrible influence on me, James. All these things that never mattered before are of great importance now. I wish only to be worthy of you, as I know you would want." 

"If you weren't worthy of me, I wouldn't be here with you now, right?" Jim smiles right back at him, hoping the ease of their conversation will put the other people in the cafe in a better mood. Jim knows that, whether he wants to be or not, he's influential, and subconsciously, these people will pick up on his demeanor towards Khan. 

Khan lightly rubs his foot over James' ankle and says, "That means a great deal to me, James." He turns toward the waitress, as she timidly approaches.

Jim looks up when Khan does, and when he sees Abby, he waves her over amicably. "Oh, my hot chocolate! Yessss. Thanks." He takes it when she sets it down in front of him and he sips at it. "Mm. I love this stuff." 

Khan accepts his chai with a nod of thanks and says, "I have chosen, Miss. I should like the four cheese grilled cheese with the house chips, please."

"Chips!" Jim pipes in. "I want chips, too, please." This is the reason why Jim would be fat if it weren't for his sexual escapades. And other exercise.

"You are already getting extra bacon and cookies," Khan scolds lightly. "You do not need any chips."

Jim pouts a little and swears he sees Abby fight off a smile, so that brightens his mood back up. "Yes, Mom." 

Khan sighs and says, "I suppose I should encourage you to eat. Go ahead and bring him his chips." 

Jim's smile brightens into a grin. "Victory." He looks up at Abby. "An order of chips would be great, thanks."

She excuses herself with a tiny smile and a quiet, "Sure thing," before heading into the back. 

Khan shakes his head and says, "You're lucky your metabolism is fast. And that you forget to eat half the time."

"I know. I'd be a cow otherwise." Jim doesn't seem at all bothered by that. He works hard and plays hard. He figures he should get to eat what he wants. 

A smile eases Khan's expression and mood, as he says, "Your self-acceptance is rather refreshing, since it is not accompanied by terrible ego."

"Shush. My ego isn't that bad," the blond counters, nudging Khan once more with his foot. 

"As I have just stated, James. I was not being sarcastic," Khan says, sipping his chai. He finds it surprisingly acceptable and settles back into the booth, starting to relax a little.

"Not like I could deny that I'd get fat, especially with Bones harping on me all the time. Spock, too. Did you know he can tell you to the tenth of a kilogram how much I've gained just by looking at me?" Jim rubs his forehead in minor exasperation.

Khan snorts a little in mixed displeasure and amusement, before saying, "Even to me, that seems a little obsessive. And you say we are ridiculously co-dependent." 

"His problem is that he's Vulcan and he can work out my mass based on my girth, which he can tell just by looking. It's insane. Great on missions, because you never know when you'll instantly need to know the volume and mass of something, but not so great when you're trying to hide that you ate an extra chocolate bar." 

"I can do that, too," Khan says, a little grumpy that James sounds so impressed by something so lame. He sips more chai and rests his feet more comfortably with James'.

"Can you? Good!" Jim praises. The more the merrier, right? "Unless you start using it to nag me."

"Yes, I am sure my volume estimating skills will be much in your demand," Khan says and tries to ignore the insinuation that he is a nag. 

Jim has a sneaking suspicion that if he takes both Khan and Spock on an away mission, it's going to be like Dueling Calculators. "What else can you do that I don't know about?"

"Hula dance," Khan says.

Jim bursts out laughing, just picturing Khan in a grass skirt and a lei. "You'll have to show me sometime." Doesn't matter if Khan's joking. Jim wants to see it. 

Khan's mouth quirks upward, too, amusement in his eyes. "As long as we are in private, Captain, I am happy to do so. In full native outfit, of course, or the entire exercise is wasted." 

"Oh, yeah. Gotta get you in the skirt, flowers in your hair, all bare-chested and sexy. That'll be good. I get at least one picture of it to keep," Jim stipulates. 

Khan tilts his head and looks at him through lower eyelids. "Perhaps I shall allow you to fuck me in the outfit, instead," he murmurs, only for James to hear.

"Mm, if you're gonna go through all the trouble of dressing up, might as well, right?" The blond smirks a little, suddenly very interested in this idea. 

"Traditionally, many such dances were used as fertilization rites," Khan says with a flick of his tongue over his lips. "A way to prime the dance members for even more intimate acts." 

"Great, I'll knock you up and then we'll have to elope and get married," Jim replies teasingly. He's got not interest in either of those two things. 

Khan's mouth tightened at the corners, since he knows James would never marry him, although that is something he would like. He sips more chai instead. "I will accept just what I had offered," he says after a moment.

It's not about Khan. It's about marriage in general. Jim's afraid of the concept of it. Maybe one day he'll be ready for it, but not yet. "You'll be the palest hula dancer ever. It'll be great." 

"As long as you find me attractive, I'm satisfied," Khan says with a slight scowl. He sits up as their sandwiches arrive, willing to admit that he's hungry.

Jim lets out a quiet cheer when the food arrives and digs right in, conversation forgotten. He really, really needs this meal, what with the way his stomach is roaring at him. 

Khan watches him eat with quiet appreciation and then tries a bite of his own delicious cheesy sandwich concoction. He shuts his eyes and gives a low moan of appreciation. 

"Hey.... Hey, you wanna swap sandwich halves?" Jim gestures first at one half of his sandwich and then at the other half of Khan's sandwich. That cheesy thing looks really good. 

Khan puts a hand around his plate and literally growls at James, low and real. Nobody is touching his sandwich.

Jim's eyebrows shoot up, and he holds his hands up in surrender. "Whoa. Alright, then, Commander Growly." 

"You should have ordered one of these yourself," Khan says with a smug smile. "And you can't order another sandwich." He took another bite and hummed contentedly.

"Mine's good. Yours just looks good, too," Jim shrugs, acting completely nonchalant. 

Khan licks a stray bit of cheese off his lip, playful and smug. He finally tries a chip, munching it and then gesturing to James' plate. "You should try these." 

Jim looks down at the chips. He swallows his mouthful of sandwich and he picks up one of the chips, popping it into his mouth. "Oh, hey. Pretty good!"

"I do hope you have enough credits to leave this place a very large tip," Khan says and then takes another huge bite of sandwich. "I shall also be having some dessert."

"You say that like you think I'm some kind of pauper," Jim replies, nose crinkling. He has money to provide for them, thank you. "Sure. Get whatever you want. It's not a problem." 

Khan says, "Well, I am a poor man, Captain, and must for now live on whatever you will give me." 

"I'll give you anything you want," Jim says easily, popping another chip into his mouth. He'll dote on Khan, if that's what his lover wants. 

"Well, I hope that perhaps Starfleet may pay me a small stipend," Khan says, "so that I am not reliant on my sugardaddy captain." Again, he speaks only so that James can hear.

"They will. Anybody in service on a Federation ship gets paid." The blond smirks, a little mischievous. "Once you get your first deposit, you'll owe me lunch." 

"I agree to your terms, Captain," Khan says formally and then splits the remaining half of his sandwich, giving that portion to James.

That pleases Jim quite a bit, and he gives Khan the last half of his sandwich in trade. "Thanks, baby," he murmurs, quiet but affectionate. That sandwich really does look good. 

"Thank you, James," Khan says with equal affection. "I would like to have things split half between us, if that is ever possible."

"'Course! I'm an equal-opportunity kind of guy," the blond replies jovially, biting into the new sandwich and groaning. "Oh my God."

Khan eyes the half of sandwich he had gotten in return and says, "I believe I received the poor end of this deal." He takes a bite of the sandwich James gave him and made a face. "Yes, indeed."

"What? It's good. Chicken and bacon and ranch and cheese and tomato and lettuce... You really don't like it?" Jim looks at the Augment with sad eyes. 

Khan snorts and says, "I am not enamored of it, no, but it is not inedible." He does continue to eat the sandwich, however, not wanting to be rude or make those eyes turn even adder. Those damned eyes...

Jim pushes the cheese sandwich, a single bite taken out of it, back towards Khan. "It's okay. You don't have to eat it if you don't like it." 

Khan frowns and says, "You really enjoy the sandwich. I would like you to finish it. Please."

"But I'll be all sad knowing you don't like yours. I like it, so let's trade back, okay?" Jim pushes the sandwich further towards him. 

Khan pushes it back to him and says, "Do not refuse my offer, please, Captain. I wish you to have it." 

"Okay. If you're sure!" Well, if it's settled, Jim will just take the cheese sandwich back and eat it with delight.

Khan watches him with a small smile, very much pleased by how delighted James looks. Simple pleasures. He finishes off the other half of James' quickly and then waves to the waitress. "Another chai, if you would be so kind."

For the last few bites, Jim opens up the sandwich and crams some of the chips inside, and then he practically vibrates with happiness when he bites into it again. Oh, God, that's good.

Khan ducks his head to hide an amused smile, popping a few chips into his mouth, as well. He lightly touches James' right foot with his own. "Would you like to share a dessert?"

Jim somehow brightens even more at that thought. "Is it something I can dip my cookies in?" he asks, as if that's the most important thing in the world. 

"I am open to suggestions," Khan says with a curious look. "What would you dip cookies into?" 

Jim looks at Khan for a moment, trying to figure out if Khan has ever dipped a cookie into anything. "Ice cream stuff, mostly. Sundaes, milkshakes, that sort of thing. Or maybe even something that's got cream on it. Mm, that'd be good, too." 

"They say they have old-fasioned chocolate malts, where they give you the extra in a cup to the side. Will that do?" Khan asks.

"Yep, that'll do just fine." And then Jim laughs and looks at his hot chocolate. "Gonna be so, so fat." 

"We shall make sure you burn off the calories," Khan says with a private leer for James. 

"Lot of calories to make up for," Jim replies, and it's most definitely a challenge. 

Khan leers and says, "I am sure I can be very useful in that capacity. I am superior, after all, in stamina."

"Trust me, I know." Jim remembers when they'd literally spend hours fucking. At least, the times Jim would slow down enough for it. Maybe if Khan sedated him a little... 

Khan raises both eyebrows and allows James to see how well he remembers it, as well. And how much he wants to add to those memories...

Time to change gears before Jim gets hard in the cafe. He finishes up his chips and then lifts his hand to get Abby's attention. She shuffles over, seeming a little less nervous about them. "Hey, can we get one of those -- what was it, Khan, a chocolate malt?"

"With the extra on the side, if you would, please," Khan says with a nod toward the waitress. "Also, some cookies. Whatever you may have on hand. A dozen."

Abby makes note of their order and heads off to take care of it, and Jim immediately wolfs down the two cookies he'd already gotten. "Won't have to share these ones, then."

Khan raises an eyebrow and says, "You might have offered me one to even up my giving you a superior sandwich."

Jim pauses, teeth just starting to graze the second cookie, and then draws it back. He sets his chin in his hand and holds the cookie out to Khan, gripped casually between his index and middle fingers. "I don't like being in debt." 

"Captain," Khan chides lightly, "it is I who shall ever be in debt to you." He breaks off a piece of the cookie and takes a small bite.

Jim dunks the remaining piece of cookie into his hot chocolate, lets it sit for a few seconds, and then holds it out for Khan again. "Try this." 

Khan takes it carefully and pops it in his mouth. "Mmm. Lovely. Not as lovely as in milk."

"It'll be great with the malt." Which actually arrives on cue, with their cookies. Abby actually brings them an assortment: some chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin, white chocolate macademia nut, and marshmallow fudge. Jim is in heaven. He thanks her and immediately snags a marshmallow-laden cookie to dip into the malt. 

Khan, on the other hand, tries some of the dessert without a cookie, finding the malt a pleasant concoction. He does not interfere with James' pleasures, however, allowing his lover all the cookies he desires. "We shall be much slower on the way back," he says, "since you may not be able to move with your belly so stuffed."

"You'll have to get a wheelbarrow for me," Jim confesses. He really is starting to get pretty full, but these cookies are amazing. He just can't help himself. 

"Or perhaps carry you back," Khan says with a light smirk. He pauses and looks around them and then back down at the malt they're sharing, as if something has just occurred to him. "We're on a date," he says, so only James can hear again.

Jim blinks. "What? We are not. We're having lunch and--" he pauses and looks down at the shared malt, too, eyes widening a little. "Oh my God, we're on a date." 

Khan stares at James a moment longer and then everything about him softens noticeably. "I have never been on one before."

The blond smiles a little. "I've never been on a serious one." Maybe a short date to get a target to spread her legs, but that was usually the extent of it. 

Khan tilts his head and says, sotto voce, "We do everything backward, Captain, but thank you, for asking me out."

"You started it," Jim replies, eyes crinkling at the corners. 

"Then thank you for accepting," Khan amends. "Though you are paying, so it's still your date."

"For now. Remember, first paycheck and you're gonna make things even." Jim's definitely looking forward to that. 

"Are you intimating you would like to continue dating?" Khan asks. "Go steady, as the old term used to be?" He spooned in some more malt, which wouldn't melt in his mouth, no way.

Jim huffs a little, shaking his cookie at Khan. "Hey, don't try to push me into something I'm not ready for, you ruffian." Though, he can't hide his grin. 

"Ruffian?" Khan asks, glancing around them. "I do not believe that word means what you think it means, Captain."

There's a mischievous glint to Jim's blue eyes. "Hooligan, delinquent, scoundrel. Trust me, I know what it means. I'm also teasing you." 

"And I am and have been all of those things." Khan agrees, "but not for something as...I believe you like the word sappy, as asking you for the privilege of being your paramour."

"You're already my paramour, Noonien," Jim says simply. 

Khan's cheeks warm pleasantly again, so he hides behind some more malt. "At times, my James, you catch me off guard," he confesses, pleased.

Jim squints at him, trying to figure out if he actually made Khan blush or not, but he's got no proof, so he lets it go. In his head, he succeeded and that's all that matters. "Pretty sure I'll be doing that a lot when we're together again." 

"I live in hopes," Khan agrees and puts down his spoon, more than satisfied with the amount of food. "Are you ready to head back, Captain?"

"Yeah. We'll get the rest of these cookies packed up and you can have them tomorrow. How's that?" Jim asks. 

"Like a better idea than you attempting to eat them all now," Khan says with a smirk.

"I couldn't eat them all now," Jim retorts, looking down at them forlornly. "My stomach would rupture and I'd die. Then Bones would revive me just to kill me again." 

Khan snorts and says, "Then we shall take them with us for later. You may enjoy them as a midnight snack. You may need the energy by then." 

"Already said you could have 'em. I don't need any more food for three weeks now. Besides, you deserve them." He stretches and then pats his belly. "I'm gonna go pay and see about getting a baggie for those cookies."

"As you say," Khan says with a nod to his James. "I shall attempt to look innocent as I sit here." His mouth curls into something like a real smile.

"Good luck," Jim says with a grin, getting up to head to the counter. He returns soon after with a bag, which he hands to Khan. "Here. I'm gonna hit the loo before we go." And then he's off again, headed for the bathroom. 

Khan waits with amused impatience, dealing better with the stares. He climbs to his feet elegantly and moves toward the door with a flirtatious little grin at the waitress, who walks into another customer. 

Jim comes out of the bathroom, feeling a little better now that his empty bladder has made a little more room for his full stomach. He heads over to Khan, smiling innocently at him, not noticing the way Abby is busily apologizing to the woman she'd bumped into. "Ready to go?"

"Very much so, Captain," Khan says and walks outside, holding the door open for James to follow. He nods to the security detail, waiting impatiently outside. "Shall we stroll back to the jail?"

Jim checks his watch. "Yeah, we probably should. I know it hasn't been much time, but... hopefully you had fun?" 

"I have. Very much so," Khan says with a glance at their guards, even as he heads out. "And I would thank you for it." 

Jim wants to lean in and kiss his cheek, but the guards are too close now. Instead, he 'accidentally' bumps their hands together. "No need. I had a fun time, too." 

"But we have a long stroll to look forward to, as well, since you will be moving as a snail...possibly a slug," Khan says, glad for the beauty of the lingering day.

"At least snails have the excuse of carrying their house on their back. I like that one better," Jim quips. 

Khan snorts and says, "Then I shall consider you as a snail, Captain." He heads up one of the trails, back toward where they came.

Jim follows after him, still rubbing at his stomach happily. Yep. Today was a good day. "Handsomest snail ever, at that." 

Khan slows so they can walk side-by-side, content that way. "I suppose I can agree with that," he says, glad their guards keep so far back. 

"Will you be my house, then? So I can come hide in you whenever I get scared?" Jim asks, looking over at him innocently.

"You know I will," Khan says, answering him seriously. He always did where these kinds of questions were concerned.

"Good. You'll make a good house, all strong and sturdy and made of titanium." The blond smiles jovially. 

"Titanium?" Khan asks, considering this. "That's a rather cold metal, isn't it? Or do you like titanium?"

Jim tips his head back and forth as he considers his reply. "It's a good metal. It's got a nice shine to it, it's got a high strength-to-density ratio, and it's resistant to corrosion. Plus, it's named after the Titans of Greek mythology. Pretty cool, I think." 

"Then I accept the position as your titanium house," Khan says. "A place for you to hide whenever you have need. A refuge." 

Jim leans in then, mischievously, lips close to Khan's ear. "Too bad I can't hide my cock in you, too." 

"I prefer the reverse," Khan says, "though I am amenable to both ways. I do wish...I want to be able for you to last long enough for us both."

I know. I just don't have the stamina you do. Not much I can do about that, unfortunately." Jim frowns a little. 

Khan lightly bumps him again and says, "I do not mind that, Captain. Not even slightly. You must know that." 

Jim's smile comes back a bit. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure you like watching me come on myself over and over and over again."

"Well, that, too," Khan says with a smile of true devotion. "But mostly it purely does not matter. I do wish you to believe that I do find pleasure in all our couplings." He ensures that no one can hear but his lover.

"Of course I do. How couldn't I? You take such good care of me," Jim coos, pleased that Khan is happy with their relationship. 

"I do try," Khan says, shivering slightly at the sound of James' coo. It was an appealing noise, one that sparks protectiveness and desire. He wants to pull James off of the trail, into the bush and ravage him.

Jim hooks their pinkies together briefly. "I couldn't ask for more--" and then he promptly gets smacked in the forehead with a wayward frisbee, staggering a little. "Ow."

Khan freezes and turns to glare at the perpetrator, a young teenager, who was running toward them. The kid stops in his tracks, takes two steps back and then flees in the opposite direction at a sprint. 

Khan's attention turns back to James and steps forward to ask, "Are you all right?"

Jim grunts and rubs at his forehead, sure that there's going to be a red mark there now. "That went well, I think." He stoops down and grabs the frisbee, staring at it. "I guess there's no real way to return this to him, considering how quickly he ran away." 

Khan growls under his breath about idiots and watching where they threw things. "I will not be blamed for people who are too afraid to stand up and accept the consequences for their actions." He takes the frisbee from James' hands and hurtles it after the kid, throwing it so far and fast it sails well over his head and beyond. "But there, it is returned to him."

Jim lifts his hand to shield his eyes from the sun as he watches the frisbee sail away, and he whistles low. "Wow. That was a nice throw. I think you almost took off his head."

"I deliberately missed him," Khan says. "Though for such a flimsy disk, it would make a good weapon."

"I second that opinion." The blond turns to face Khan and lowers his hand. "Have I got a weird mark on my face now?" 

"Yes, I fear so," Khan says and lightly touches the red mark, hearing the security guards shifting a bit behind them, unsure if they should approach. 

Jim is completely oblivious to the security guards. It's just him and Khan right now, and he blinks owlishly up at the Augment. "Hey, you're gonna have to keep an eye out for things like that in the future. You're gonna be a security officer. You're supposed'a protect me!"

Khan frowns at his own inattentiveness, thinking he should have caught the frisbee, too. "Forgive me, James, for not looking out better for you."

The blond is right back to smiling brightly and he flicks Khan in the forehead. "Now we can have matching marks." 

Khan scowls and says, "That will not do. If you wish for me to have a matching mark, you need to hit me with something harder."

Jim shakes his head. "No way. I'll just have to deal with being the only one with a line on my forehead." He shrugs a little and then continues walking down the path again. "Besides, I'm sure you'll make up for it later."

"I promise," Khan says, earnest and looking into James' eyes with the fullness of that vow.

"Good! Nothing to worry about, then!" Jim also figures that his skull is dense enough that blows to the head are the least of his worries. "You did well in protecting the cookies, though." 

"Yes, well, at least I managed that," Khan says grumpily. "Shall we continue? Our guards are restless."

"I tried to continue and somebody made cute faces at me." Jim tugs at Khan's sleeve. "Come on then, Noonien." 

"Cute faces?" Khan asks bemusedly, even as he continues their walk. "That was not my intent, I assure you."

"I liked it," the blond reassures him, letting go of Khan's sleeve. 

"Well, then it was completely intentional," Khan says with a flash of his humor. Despite everything that happened in his life of late, James brings to life his lighter side.

"That's what I thought." Jim nods seriously. "You know how to calculate cute down to the last... whatever unit cute is measured in. Squees, maybe?"

Khan cannot contain a light chuckle and says, "All part of my augmentation, Captain. That is how I realized how dangerous you were right off."

Jim laughs, too, finding that thought just too damn ridiculous. "I'm dangerous because of how cute I am? I'm manly, dammit." 

"You can be both," Khan says without hesitation. "And you are, as it suits you. One of your more vexing qualities."

"It's good to know you appreciate my various charms." Jim frowns a little when the prison finally comes back into view and he moves a little closer to Khan, almost protectively. 

"You know I appreciate everything about you," Khan says, smiling a little as James becomes protective. "My James," he purrs, voice like silk and honey, "if I begged you not to take me back. Begged until my voice ran dry. Got down on my knees. What would you do?"

Jim looks over at him and blinks, as if the answer should be absolutely obvious. "I'd keep my promise. If you really thought you couldn't make it the last few months, we'd leave."

Khan smiles and says, "I do love you so much, my James. With all I am and all I ever will be. I will endure."

"I know. And I love you, too. Now, how's about we go see what mess the mini-mes have made of your room?" At least having those two small kittens waiting for them should soften the blow of having to return to prison. Hopefully. 

"And then allow me to make up for the wound to your forehead, my James," Khan says. "After Tiberius and Jamie are worn out."

"Can't wait to see what you have in mind." The distance to the prison closes too quickly, despite Jim's leisurely pace, and soon they're walking through the doors again, back under the watchful eye of more than just their two tag-alongs. "Why don't you head to your room while I check back in with Boyce and let him know I didn't abduct you?"

"And that I behaved well?" Khan asks with a smile. "I shall, Captain. Please join me when you can."

"I'll tell him you were a saint and protected the cookies with your life," Jim teases. He lifts his hand in farewell and then heads off to find the doctor.


	21. Last Day of Visit

Jim returns after not too long, having had a short chat with Boyce about how Khan's mood seemed to improve and how he'd seemed interested in contributing to the rebuilding efforts. He lets himself in to the room and smiles a little at the sight of Khan and the kittens. "Hey. Looks like they survived without us."

"Well, they also like our return," Khan says and lifts the kittens in his hands, holding them out to James. Jamie licks his face, but Tiberius just looks confused.

"If I keep letting her lick me like that, I'm gonna need a a shower," Jim says with a laugh, giving both kittens enough scratches to get them purring again. 

Khan says, "You need a shower anyway," and gently transfers Jaime to James, cradling Tiberius to him. The male kitten seems the more hapless of the two, which speaks to him somehow. He moves to sit on the bed, toeing off his boots. 

"Are you calling me smelly?" Jim pouts a little and looks down at Jamie. "He said I stink. I don't stink, right?" He's not entirely sure if the mew he gets is a 'yes' or 'no'.

"My nose and theirs are on par, and you do not stink, but you have acquired a rather nice musk," Khan says with a deep breath through his nose. "I would not mind rolling in it."

The blond laughs. "You wanna roll around on me? The kittens already have. Stomped all over me and napped on me and chewed on me for a while. I'm surprised this shirt isn't full of holes." 

"Come here and let me show you," Khan says, one hand reaching out for his lover. "I'll happily roll around on you and tear your shirt."

"Nooo, no, no. You can't tear it. I don't have a replacement here. I'll have to walk around half-naked and everybody will ogle me, then you'll get jealous and we'll end up with a real kidnapping." Jim grins broadly, but steps into Khan's embrace, anyway, mindful of the kittens. 

Khan kisses James sweetly and tugs him down beside him on the bed. "Then I shall have to leave it intact." He grips he tunic and hauls it right off his lover.

"I-- Wha--" Jim stutters, trying to keep up with Khan so that the shirt really doesn't rip, and yet not end up with kittens flying everywhere, either. "Bad news: most of my 'musk' is probably on that shirt."

Khan eases the kittens to the floor and then tosses the shirt after them, hoping they roll all over it. "Oh no, your musk is all over you." He pushes James to the mattress and rubs his face into his neck, inhaling deeply.

"You're just a giant cat, aren't you?" Jim asks, wrapping an arm around Khan and pressing a kiss to the top of his head. 

Khan doesn't debate the idea and snuggles his lover closer. He strokes through the soft blonde hair and then nuzzles under his chin. "Thank you."

Jim blinks a little, confused by the question, so he cranes his head enough to look down at Khan. "What for?" He doesn't think he's done anything worthy of it. 

"Everything." Khan answers and traces a finger down his spine. "My James." He lightly smacks his ass, playful and sweet.

Well," Jim replies, "in that case, you're welcome." He shivers a little at the smack and wishes he could give Khan one in return. He'll just have to save it for the next time he sees him. Jim will smack his ass so hard, even those firm cheeks will jiggle. That thought makes him smile wolfishly. 

Khan reads the grin and looks delighted, before he kisses that smile away. "I cannot wait to know what that smile portends." He caresses James' ass gently.

"You sure?" Jim asks, peppering Khan's mouth with kisses. "Could be dangerous." 

"If you are my danger, I shall accept that happily," Khan purrs and nips his lower lip. He lazily purrs as James kisses him in a fashion Khan usually employs on James. The turnaround makes him hazily content.

"Don't worry: I usually keep all the danger to myself." Jim bumps their foreheads together, just picturing Khan out on an unexplored planet with him. It's going to be glorious. "But I'm willing to share, if you want." 

"I will share everything with you, my James," Khan says, "and more than the fair share of danger. I would take it all for myself, if I might." He smiles up at him and traces his spine.

Jim chuckles quietly, playfully biting the tip of Khan's nose. "Danger makes my day exciting. You can't hog all of it to yourself." 

"I make your day exciting," Khan says. "You don't need anything more."

"If it's any incentive, I'm usually looking for a really good fuck after I survive a nearly-impossible situation," Jim replies hopefully. 

"You're usually looking for a really good fuck after you discover a hangnail," Khan says, teasing in his voice and eyes.

"Pff. You should be happy that I'm always eager," the blond retorts. "Or I could never keep up with you."

"No complaints," Khan says, reaching into James' hair to massage his scalp tenderly.

Jim makes a sound of contentment. "Mmm, if this is part of the whole 'rolling in my musk' thing, I'm gonna like it."

"I was merely adding some incentive," Khan says, digging in a little deeper. "I find it eases the way."

"Incentive? For me to let you rub me all over? No incentive needed." Jim closes his eyes and just enjoys those fingers kneading into his skull. 

Khan rumbles low in his chest as James relaxes into him and shifts so that he can support his lover, even as his hands move down to work the back of his skull and neck. "Have you been taking care of yourself, James, or are you all out of alignment again?"

"Uh," Jim remarks dumbly. There's no good way for him to answer that question. With the work he's been going on Vulcan, he hasn't really had the chance to unwind like that. 

"Would you like me to help you, James?" Khan purrs, deep in chest. "I can put you back in shape."

"You sure you're up for that? You got your excitement for today already." Jim's a little reluctant to make Khan overexert himself. Recovery can be a finicky thing. 

"I shall not unduly stress myself," Khan promises. "I shall merely realign your spine and neck efficiently, but safely. If you wish."

"You didn't have to specify that it was gonna be safely," Jim tells him, amused. It's cute, really. "I know you wouldn't hurt me, baby."

"Not on purpose, no," Khan says and eases James off him to lay on the bed. "Give me but a moment to prepare."

"Mm'kay. Take your time." Jim, meanwhile, sprawls himself out comfortably on his belly, pillow tucked under his chin. He scratches at his side and then wedges his hands under the pillow to keep them from dangling off the edge of the bed and being attacked by kittens. 

Khan moves to straddle James' hips and asks, "Are you ready? I shall use the methods I have before."

"I'm always ready." Jim lets out a deep breath, forcing his muscles to preemptively relax. He always looks forward to Khan touching him. 

Khan places his hands on either side of James' spine, near his hips, and then presses down carefully. "Actually, this is a bit modified from my previous efforts. I will work up your spine, moving things back into place as I go."

It's alright. Just do what yo- Oooh." The blond groans as he hears a loud, hollow pop from his spine and feels something click back into place, like a tumbler in a lock. 

"Yes, your back is a mess yet again," Khan says with a sigh. "It seems most illogical for Vulcans to allow you to get into this state." He moves up and presses again, causing a louder sound.

"Ooooooh my God," Jim moans, not realizing how badly things were out of alignment until the aches he'd gotten used to are suddenly fading. "Well, they're not about to offer me back massages, are they? They're Vulcan. Though... I really probably should have asked Spock or Bones." 

Khan makes a low growling noise and says, "Dr. McCoy is allowed." The next few pushes shift things without much noise, but the third is the worst yet.

"Why? What's wrong with Spock?" Jim asks, although his question is punctuated with yet another moan. God, that feels good. 

"I do not wish him feeling your emotions through such a touch," Khan says and finishes James' back swiftly. He strokes down his spine and asks, "Is that sufficient?"

Jim snorts a little, thinking that Khan's reservation is a little unnecessary. "What emotions might those be? It's not like I'm in love with him." He twists a little to look back at him. 

"No, but you are, I hope, in love with me," Khan says. "As I cannot feel it the way he might through even the lightest touch, I would prefer he not touch." He pauses and then smiles a little sheepishly. "I recognize that makes me a jealous lover."

"Of course I'm in love with you." Jim smiles back at him, rolling over so he can tug Khan down on him. "Don't be jealous of Spock. He had me for a lifetime, and my own Spock won't even know what he's missing." 

"I wish my own lifetime," Khan says and follows the tug to kiss his James. "So long as I may have."

Jim wraps his arm around Khan's waist, loose and careful, just wanting to hold him. "You will. Once you're out of here, it'll be smooth sailing."

"With you? I had heard rather the opposite, oh danger magnet," Khan teases, light, but also truthful.

"Yeah. That's what I call smooth sailing," Jim replies, smiling confidently. "Anything short of actually dying is smooth sailing."

Khan makes a noise of disagreement and shakes his head. "I would prefer less of the almost dying part."

"I've got the best doctor on the 'Fleet. You worry too much, and so does he. I can already picture the two of you giving me twin glares when I do something stupid," Jim says lightheartedly. 

"He glares at everyone all the time, as far as I can tell," Khan says and nuzzles under his chin. "I don't see it helping much so far, where you're concerned."

"The fact that I was even still alive when you showed up was all because of Bones. He's been elbows-deep in my guts, putting me back together more than once," Jim admits, even if it's probably not something Khan wants to hear. 

Khan makes a face and looks away, face pained. He knows he was the cause of that at least once. The memory of how close he came to killing James on the bridge of the Vengeance. "I do owe him much."

Jim cradles him, pressing his nose into Khan's hair. "You've saved my life a lot, too. In more ways than one." 

Khan lifts his head and kisses him sweetly, thanking him for the words. He knows he has endangered James far more than saved him, but hopes their relationship has been worth the risks.

Jim thinks it has. He kisses his lover back and then rubs their noses together. "I wish we could have sex. I could show you what you mean to me. Good things come to those who wait, right?" 

"I would be pleased to touch you all over, my James," Khan says. "That would make me happy."

Jim nibbles at his lips, sweet and seductive. "I'll let you do anything you want to me, Noonien. You know that."

"How would you like to be touched?" Khan asks, kissing back sweetly. "I wish to go slow."

Jim whines quietly. He knows what he wants. He wants his lover filling him up to the brim, pressing him into the mattress and making him come all over himself. That's not going to happen, but he can settle for other things. Khan knows how to make them good. "It doesn't matter. I'll take anything I can get." 

Khan kisses him again and asks softly, "Why did you make that noise, my James?" He trails his fingers over James' spine and down the curve of his ass. 

Jim hesitates a little, but then decides that honesty is the better policy. "I want to feel you inside me, but you're not healed enough for that. And that's okay, I understand."

Khan frowns and strokes James' hair as he considers the words. "I cannot offer you that, but perhaps I can still fill you completely." He raises one hand to demonstrate the idea.

Jim's eyebrows raise up. The idea of Khan's hand is a little intimidating. Fingers, though, are perfectly acceptable. "We don't have any lub--- wait, would the ointment work, you think?" Though, he sort of dislikes the idea of using up Khan's medicated cream just to get himself off. 

"I am sure we could find something suitable," Khan says. "Or there are other pleasures I would gladly offer you, my James. I should like to touch you everywhere, at the very least." 

"I'd--" Jim bites his lip, not wanting to be selfish, but he's been too long without his lover inside him in one way or another. "If we can find lube, I'd like that. If not, then it's okay. I'm sure I'll live," he replies, tone teasing. 

Khan smiles and kisses his nose. "We will find something to work." He moves off the bed with most of his usual elegance and heads for the refresher, returning in a moment with a bottle of oil. "This was for my healing skin, when it becomes tight and dry. But it will do nicely."

Jim wiggles a little in anticipation, but manages to keep from pulling his pants off. He figures if Khan wants to take things slow, then the Augment will probably want to do that himself. "Good find, baby! Is the door locked?"

Khan smiles and sets the oil on the bedside table, before going to put up the privacy request. "I can merely request privacy, not actually lock the door. That is not allowed prisoners."

"...We'd better hope people knock and give us plenty of time to answer, then," Jim replies, looking absolutely devilish. 

Khan snorts and says, "Not many people visit. None who do not first announce their intentions." He leans in toward that wicked grin. "But if you are excited by the prospect of someone walking in and finding you, pinned to the bed by me, I encourage the fantasy."

"Mm, fuck. That's a good fantasy." Of course, Jim knows if it actually happens, there'll be hell to pay, but he's always been a bit of an exhibitionist at heart. He imagines Khan fucking him hard, pinning him to his bed on the Enterprise, and Bones walking in on them, but Khan just keeps fucking him. Mmm... The thought makes Jim's cock tent his pants, and he groans. 

"You may not even need me for this," Khan observes with pure amusement. "Tell me what you are thinking of, James."

Jim reaches out for him, trying to draw him closer. "It starts out when we're in my room after shift, lights low. You're forcing me down into the bed, all strength and growls, fucking me hard, just how you know I like it..." he purrs, eying his lover with want. 

"But I have left the door open in invitation, for I want you to be seen- us to be seen," Khan purrs, voice as low and hot as he can make it. "I am concentrating on making you loud and demanding, as only you can be. And who walks in on this scene, James? Who will see you, taking my cock and yelling for more?"

Jim's pleased that Khan wants to join in with the telling and moans at the sound of his lover's voice sharing his fantasy. "Bones. He's always walking into my room without knocking. He's caught me before, in the Academy..." 

Khan takes James' offered hand and kisses the knuckles as he speaks. "Poor Dr. McCoy," he says, as James pauses. "For I will not stop when he comes in. No, I will be even more possessive, drive even harder and deeper into your body." He drops the hand not holding James' to the curve of his groin, rubbing in small circles. "I will make the entire bed shake and groan, as I sink my cock so far into your ass that you feel it in your tonsils. I will make you scream until you cannot breathe."

Jim whimpers again, keening and needy, hips twitching up against his lover's touch. He shuts his eyes, picturing this scenario, picturing Bones' face when he sees Khan balls-deep in him, imagines it arouses Bones as well. "Maybe he'll stick around and watch," Jim muses, panting and flushed, skin turning a pretty shade of pink. "He'll ask to join us, but you won't let him. There isn't room in my ass for two with your big cock filling me up."

Khan snarls and says, "And I do not share what is mine. And you are mine." He squeezes the bulge and tugs, a little rough. "Mine to claim and possess and take until you're nearly passed out, but still demanding more. And he can only watch with hungry eyes, wanting what is mine."

Jim moans as loudly as he dares, bucking up once again. "Fuck, take them off. Take my pants off, please," he begs. The fabric is too rough against his hard cock, and all he wants is to feel Khan's soft hands on him. He takes a steadying breath, trying to focus back on the fantasy, voice shaky with want. "And just to let him know exactly how much I belong to you, you'd come inside me and fill me up until it was dripping out and soaking the sheets." 

Khan growls agreement, even as he carefully removes James' slacks and briefs. "And then I would flip you on your stomach and move you to face him. We would both face him, as I drove right back in you again. His presence and want for you keeping me hard with the need to prove that you are made for my touch alone now."

Jim's cock springs up as soon as it's freed, bobbing in the air and just begging to be licked. He hisses quietly, startled by the sudden cold of the air hitting heated skin. "I guess that means you wouldn't let me suck him off, huh?" he pants, teasing with the goal of getting his lover a little jealous. 

Khan squeezes the lovely sack below James' cock in retaliation for that comment. His voice drips with cold as he says, "If I were not so far gone in needing to claim you, I should toss him out for even to dare look when you are naked and needy. Only I wish to see you like that. But he is there, so he will learn what it is to want what he cannot have."

"Just like Spock?" Jim purrs, spreading his legs for his lover and quivering at Khan's touch. He's so painfully hard already, each addition to the fantasy making his cock fill a little more. 

"Anyone who desires you," Khan says, though his eyes burn with the thought of the Vulcan pursuing his James. He strokes up the erection, fingers light. "I do not share what I love. I could not." His voice breaks a little. "I would sooner end myself."

Despite the pleasure rolling up his spine, Jim frowns a little when Khan's vulnerability pokes through. He reaches down, trailing his fingers along his lover's high cheekbones. "I wouldn't betray you like that."

Khan turns to kiss his fingers softly. "And that is why I am willing to indulge you in this fantasy."

Jim smiles mischievously down at him, wanting to get the mood back. "One day, you'll get me moaning so loud that security will come rushing in, thinking I'm in danger." 

"I would enjoy that," Khan says and reaches for the oil with one hand. "I would not mind taking you to some public, but impersonal, place and claiming you in front of a crowd. A club on Risa perhaps, where such behavior is permitted." He flicks open the oil and tips a bit over James' erection, watching it run down in rivulets.

"Fuck, everybody would be so turned on and jealous, we'd start a riot," Jim preens, obviously liking the idea. Getting fucked up on stage? Yes. Hell yes. Realistically, they'd have to wear masks to protect their identities, or they'd get in real shit from Starfleet, but still, Khan's body is fucking amazing. 

Jim sucks a breath through his nose when the oil makes contact and his cock throbs, twitching impatiently. "Cold." 

Khan hums an apology and goes about warming the oil by vigorously stroking James' cock. "I would dress you all in white, a perverted innocence, with your face covered, of course. And I would wear black for the occasion. I might even get melodramatic and use one of my knives to cut the clothes off you, until you wore only the mask."

"Oh my God," Jim moans out, overwhelmed by the flush of arousal that burns through him. Khan cutting his clothes off. Khan cutting his clothes off. "Yes. Please. Can we do that? I want that." 

"Yes, James, when I am free of here and we have time to visit a place such as Risa, I would happily do so," Khan says. "Shall I bind you as well? Tie your pretty little body up for all to see and me to claim?"

The way Jim keens in response should be answer enough, but he still nods eagerly, eyes a little glassy. "Fuck. Yes. Yes. Bondage turns me on, but I've never really trusted anybody with it." 

"And then I may tease you, such that you cannot force me to hurry," Khan purrs, hand still busy jacking James' erection, though almost lazily now. "I shall have you at my mercy, spread wide for my cock, but unable to do more than plead for it. Perhaps a gag...you always are very persuasive."

"I can't moan as loudly as I want if you gag me," Jim points out between moans, hips rolling up rhythmically, pushing into Khan's fist. 

"That's true," Khan murmurs, watching James avidly. "But you also cannot talk me into speeding up." He sighs. "Such difficult choices."

Jim's response is a coy grin, and he blows a kiss. "I love you?" Somehow, that will make everything better, he's sure. 

Khan smiles genuinely at the words and leans in for a long kiss. "I will fulfill whatever fantasies you desire, my James."

Jim pushes his hips up a little more to silently remind Khan what he's doing and kisses him back wholeheartedly, tangling their tongues together and nipping devilishly at the Augment's lips. 

Khan pinches the inside of James' right thigh and says, "You always want more now."

The blond whines in protest, but settles his hips back down, trying to keep them still. "I can't help it. It's what you do to me." 

Khan nibbles at James' lower lip and then says, "That is why you may need the gag, for all that I love your voice." 

"I'll be good," Jim promises in return, but the waver in his voice indicates that it'll be an uphill battle. 

Khan nuzzles his lover and then sits back again, stroking slow and steady. "I know it is hard for you. I do not wish to cause you distress."

"I want to try. For you," Jim whispers, taking deep breaths to try to cool the fire burning in his belly. It's hard. He wants the euphoria of orgasm, but he wants to make Khan happy, too. 

Khan leans down and takes James in his mouth, suckling tenderly at his lovely erection. He hums contentedly as he does, enjoying the flavor and feel. 

Jim's trying to behave himself and Khan does something like that? The poor blond whimpers, gripping at the sides of the bed to hold himself in place. He can't even watch, so he stares at the ceiling, working on warp theory equations in his head to keep from being overwhelmed. 

Khan smiles around the whimper, pulls off with a slick sound and then kisses James' abdomen lightly. "Did you not like that, my James?"

"I loved it and you know it, you bastard," Jim counters, but it's without heat. 

Khan turns his head and rubs his cheek against the warm skin, spreading his scent over the area. He lifts his head and presses a kiss to the same spot, before lightly fucking James' bellybutton with his tongue.

Jim twitches at the slight stubble, skin prickling up in goosebumps, and finally looks down at Khan, watching a little mesmerized as that tongue does lewd things to his navel. He has no idea how that's arousing, but it is and makes him moan.

Khan smiles and sucks up a mark around his navel, pulling hard with his mouth. He then raises his head to admire the area, slick and shining. "That's nice." 

"You gonna give me a bunch of marks to go back home with, baby?" Jim asks huskily, breath coming a little harsher again. His cock his still full and hard, laying against his pelvis, just waiting for more attention. 

Khan nibbles at the very head of James' cock, where it rests heavy and wanting. He flicks his tongue over and over the same spot, sensitizing the area. "Yes, I rather do think so," he says.

Jim quivers at the tease, the threat of sharp teeth against sensitive skin setting his nerves alight, and that rough tongue does nothing to soothe them. He lifts his hand, reaching out to toy with Khan's hair, mussing it until it's satisfactorily disheveled. He thinks Khan should at least look as shaky as Jim feels. 

Khan pushes into the tender hand and rumbles softly at the touches. "I wish I were well enough to be with you more truly," he says and runs a finger down the vein on the underside of James' cock. "I long so badly to be inside you."

"I know. I want that, too. Next time, though. Next time we see each other, we'll get to make up for all the things we haven't been able to do," Jim says between deep breaths, managing to control himself thus far. "I really will let you fuck me for hours." 

"And now, I'll make up for teasing you by sucking your brains out," Khan says and presses a kiss to his stomach. He shifts comfortably to take James cock in his hand. He strokes slowly and thoroughly for a moment, before lowering his head to kiss the very tip.

Jim's thick eyebrows raise up at that sudden declaration, like he's just received a very pleasant surprise. "Yes, please," he manages to say just before Khan's lips make contact with the head of his cock and he lets out an anticipatory moan. He's been waiting so patiently for this. 

Khan huffs a laugh and then swallows James down expertly, letting him hit the back of his throat. He rumbles a growl, even as his head bobs to cover all of James' impressive erection in one motion. He sucks more intensely and scrapes his teeth over the length. 

Jim can't stop the cry that wells up and out of him, and while that one hand curls tighter into Khan's hair, the other one becomes an impromptu gag. He bites into his skin, trying to keep himself quiet as his lover takes him in, all perfect lips and strong tongue, wet heat and luscious moans. Jim feverishly thinks that Khan looks like a cock-sucking god. 

Khan does not pause now in his attentions, wanting to give James the climax he so obviously desires. He traces over James' thighs and the heavy sack between his legs, rolling them between his fingers.

With all that loving, attentive suction, Jim doesn't last long. Khan's known how to unravel him pretty much since the beginning and he's only gotten better at it over time. Jim's choked cry is muffled by his hand as he spurts into his lover's waiting mouth, cock pulsing until his balls are empty and he melts bonelessly into the mattress, sated.

Khan rumbles a contented sigh and curls up around his lover, off his remaining wounds. "Thank you," he says, sincerely grateful for the right to touch and love that James gives him. 

"I should be the one thanking you," Jim murmurs, finally trusting himself enough to remove his hand from his mouth. He slides it under Khan's side and loosely wraps his arm around his lover's back.

Khan snuggles James closer and says, "I am glad you found a way to visit me during my confinement. When first you told me your voyages would likely keep you from visiting for ten months, I did not think I would ever see you again."

"You thought I wouldn't come back for you?" Jim asks, not quite able to hide the sadness in his tone. 

"I was not sure you would be allowed," Khan says. "That was when the Betazoid was my therapist..." He hisses dangerously under his breath. "I felt like everyone but you was against me." 

"I told you before and I'll tell you again: I'll keep my promise. If you can't handle things here anymore and you feel like you're gonna break, I'll come get you and we'll leave," Jim says, strong and certain. 

Khan sighs and nuzzles under James'' chin affectionately. "I would not have done so then, no matter how I desired it. I wanted you to have your ship and crew. I still do. You are a captain and such you shall remain."

Jim frowns just the slightest bit. "I won't do it without you," he finally says, voice quiet. He knows Khan will hear him anyway. It's the truth, though. He doesn't want to have to be alone again when he knows what it feels like to have somebody love him. Maybe it's selfish, but that's the way it is. 

The words take some time to percolate through Khan's brain and then detour, fast and sharp to his chest, where they warm him from within. He tugs James close to bequeath his cheeks and lips with kisses, thanking him. "You know I feel the same." 

Jim nods a little, leaning up enough to nip at Khan's lips. "Yeah. I know. It's a good thing we're so co-dependent, hey?"

"Well, I prefer it to loving you unrequitedly," Khan says and caresses his face with strong fingers that are nevertheless gentle. "A few more months."

The blond smiles at that though. "Yeah. A few more months. Not that long in the grand scheme of things." 

"The Enterprise should be ready around the same time, shouldn't she?" Khan asks, knowing it was true, but wanting to encourage James to talk about it.

"Yep. She'll be gleaming and beautiful, just like she used to be," Jim replies, tone longing. He misses her, but he'll be seeing her again soon. 

"Have you been keeping track of her repairs?" Khan asks. "Dr. Boyce has given me some news, but only what he is permitted." 

"They've got most of the internal damage repaired, so they're working on the more superficial stuff now. They'll have her done before I'm back, probably." 

"But you have not been able to see her, have you?" Khan asks, sympathetic, since he knows that is a cruel thing for James.

"No, I haven't." Jim frowns a little, but he replaces it with a smile quickly enough. "It's okay. Just gotta wait a little more, is all."

"She will be all well and new when you do get to see her again," Khan says. "As if she was never any other way. That's the right way to see her again, anyway. Not wounded, as I am."

"Shh," Jim soothes, running his thumb down the line of Khan's nose. "You're still gorgeous." 

Khan catches the hand and presses a kiss to his palm. "But I am essentially useless in this state, in certain arenas, anyway." He rests his head on the pillow next to James. 

"You'll heal. And I know I'm the last person to try to give a pep talk about patience, but that's what we need. The last stretch is always the hardest when you're waiting for something you really want, right?" Jim shifts his hand to cup his lover's cheek, stroking tenderly over the skin. 

"Yessss," Khan hisses on an exhale, pushing into James' hand. "Especially when I am waiting to be with you."

"I know the feeling. I end up counting every damn minute when I should be focusing on my duties," Jim admits.

Khan says, "I have no doubt you do not let it truly interfere with running your ship properly, Captain."

"I try not to. It's not like I spend a lot of time on the ship when we're at New Vulcan, anyway. I'm gonna end up with freckles and wrinkles at this rate," Jim whines. 

"You already have the freckles," Khan says fondly, mouthing some of them in turn. "But no wrinkles of importance. Laugh lines."

"Flattery will get you nowhere," Jim chides, and doesn't mean a single word of it. 

"And yet, I will continue," Khan says, "if only because it is the truth, as well." He shifts to look over the bed, as tiny mews start up. And then Jamie appears over the top, leaving behind the caterwauling Tiberius.

Jim looks over, too, blinking owlishly at Jamie. "How in the hell, cat? You're too good at this climbing thing." He reaches over to help her get the last bit of the way onto the bed. "Your brother's gonna have to work hard to keep up." 

"They are both well named after you," Khan says with a smile. "One is bold, adventurous and rash, and the other is loud and whiny. Both of them are adorable." He leans down and scoops up Tiberius, who flops in his hand and purrs. 

Jim just grumbles about how he's not loud and whiny, and how he's not adorable, either. He'll distract himself by snuggling up Jamie. "Should have named him Noonien, instead."

Khan just sneers a little and sets Tiberius on the bed, where he promptly flops between them, happy. "You are whining now."

"I'm not whining," Jim replies petulantly, and then pouts. "Jamie," he says to the kitten, "Noonien's a meanie." 

Khan laughs softly as James proceeds to continue whining, but asks, "Will you not seek comfort from Tiberius, too? He does not deserve neglect."

Jim snorts. "He's not neglected. You're snuggling him. How's that neglect?" 

"By you," Khan says and tickles Tiberius' ears. "He needs love from both of us." There is such a ridiculous appeal to saying stupid things like that.

Jim shifts a little closer so they can share the kittens between them and give them both love. "Look. There. Fixed. Now you don't have to call animal protective services, okay?" he teases. 

Khan rolls his eyes and tugs James into a kiss. He scoops Tiberius up to let him bunt against James' chin and cheek. "You'll have to do more than that."

"All three of you are needy bastards," Jim points out for posterity, but then he laughs when Tiberius starts rubbing against his stubble. "I'm apparently an excellent back scratcher and I don't even have to do anything." 

Tiberius stuck out his little tongue and licked James' nose a few times. 

"You are equally demanding," Khan reminds him, offering love to Jamie in the form of gentle scratches beneath her chin and to her side.

"But I'm the cutest. I can get away with it," the blond replies with a grin, though he knows there's no real way he can compete with these balls of fluff. Khan's gonna fall in love with them, and Jim will be relegated to the role of cat servant. 

"I rather like your demands," Khan says and nuzzles his cheek, before pulling back for a soft kiss. "Even the whiny ones."

Jim smiles into that kiss and nods confidently. "You'd better, 'cause you're gonna have to put up with them for a long time to come." 

"Not to mention all your captainly orders," Khan says with a sigh. "That redshirt you want me to wear..."

"Sorry, baby," Jim says, a little sheepish. "You're gonna end up in security, so.... gotta wear the red shirt. It's better than being in the brig the whole time, right?"

"That's hardly a fair comparison," Khan says with a snort. "You could equally say wearing only a thong to perform my duties is better than being in the brig."

"I'm sorry," Jim says again and really does mean it. He knows this still isn't fair to Khan and Khan would probably prefer another station, but Jim can't push for anything more from the Admiralty until they're out there and Khan has proven himself a capable, trustworthy officer. 

Khan makes a face, kisses James' nose and says, "I am honored to serve with you in any capacity you choose, my James. I know you have endangered your career for me."

"Just... don't think I'm taking you for granted, okay? I'm not. I promise." Jim frowns a little, worried that Khan thinks he's ungrateful for the things he's done for him. 

Khan tilts his head, puzzled by the words, and says, "I know, my James. Do not worry about that."

"I want you to be happy, and if I can help it, you won't be a redshirt forever. I know I keep asking you to bear with things, but it really will get better," Jim promises.

"If I have you, things will be better," Khan says easily. "I will be a good security officer. The best you ever had on the Enterprise."

Jim's light mood returns at that, and he laughs quietly. "You'll put all the other ones to shame."

"I shall not shame your officers, James," Khan says softly. "That is something I wouldn't do." 

"It wouldn't be intentional," Jim replies, just as quiet, and he gives Khan a fond look. "I just know you'd go above and beyond to keep me safe."

"And your ship and crew," Khan says. "I will defend them with my life." 

Jim kisses him soundly and appreciatively, only pulling back when there's protesting mewls because Tiberius can't get at his scruff for scratches anymore. 

Khan looks down at Jamie and Tiberius with a fond smile, reaching out to scratch both of their ears. They purr, rumble and then nearly fall over trying to lean into the touches. "They will be good companions for me while you are away. I shall prove I can care for them, for other creatures." 

"I know you will. You've taken to them better than their own mother, I think." Jim thinks that's absolutely adorable. It's the lion taking in domesticated kittens, fairly literally. Khan very well could be a lion in a human outfit sometimes. 

Khan rolls easily on his back and scoops the kittens with him. He gently sets them on his chest and pets them slowly, right down to the base of their tails, giving them elevator butts. "I imagine we're both besotted."

"I might be a little jealous. I don't get petted like that," Jim says, feigning a pout. 

Khan looks toward James with narrowed eyes, expression indulgent. "If you wish for me to pet all over your body, I would be most willing. Every inch of you with my hands."

"No. I can't." The blond dramatically lifts the back of his hand to his forehead. "I must think of the needs of our children first." 

Khan laughs softly and reaches out to tweak James' unprotected right nipple. "Drama queen."

Jim outright squeaks at the sudden violation and then huffs, trying to cover up the noise with bluster. "I'm not! It's important to give kitties scritches and pets."

Khan transfers Tiberius over to James for that task, still amused by the entire thing. He fluffs Jamie's fur and then asks, "Do other crewmembers have pets?"

Jim nods as he takes Tiberius and lavishes him with attention. "Yeah, they do. Scotty's got a tribble, for instance. A few people have cats. Mostly small mammals, you know?" 

"I didn't expect any large ones," Khan says, curious, since James said mostly.

"There's the odd time when we end up with something a little unexpected," Jim replies with a secretive grin. "I don't doubt it'll happen again while you're on board."

"Well, you'll be bringing a large, wild mammal aboard soon," Khan says, scratching Jamie's belly, even as she beat his hand with her back paws.

"You're mostly domesticated, though." Jim figures, in this case, music had absolutely nothing to do with soothing the savage beast. 

"Domesticated?" Khan grumbles and then considers, a small smile creeping across his face. "I guess we are rather domesticated together."

"We are. I thought I'd mind, but I really don't," Jim muses.

"You know I'm well contented by it," Khan says and then stretches with a low groan. "We should eat something. The kittens shall sleep soon.

"I'm still stuffed from sandwiches and cookies," the blond admits, rubbing at his tummy like it's betrayed him. 

"That was a good meal," Khan agrees with something near regret in his voice that they shall not be able to repeat such a meal soon. "Perhaps a cat nap for all then?"

"If you're hungry, why don't you go grab something to eat? I'll be here when you get back," Jim suggests, not wanting Khan to go hungry. 

"I am well now," Khan says and reaches out to tangle his fingers with James' hand, squeezing gently. His other hand rests on Jamie's back, where she lies on his chest, purring.

Jim shifts as close as he can, letting the four of them snuggle together for comfort and warmth. He gives Khan's hand a squeeze, rubbing at his fingers tenderly. "A cat nap it is, then."


	22. Calling After

Somehow, the days when James was going to call pass by so much slower than the ones without him, even though they dragged on interminably at times. And the calls themselves practically flew by. Today was extra special, since it was an unmonitored call, one of James' hacking specials.

Khan had been moved to a nicer facility, with a larger cell, access to a library and an outdoor area where he was allowed to walk and sit in the sun. Still, since James' visit, even these amenities seem miniscule and cannot hold off the boredom and longing to see his lover again. 

Jamie and Tiberius help ease the ache, however, with their antics and unconditional affection.

Khan tucks himself on his bunk, now that the hour has finally come, with Jamie and Tiberius asleep on his lap, and waits for his call.

Jim is of the opinion that a month is too damn long to go without his lover or the physical touches he needs so much. He hasn't even been able to tell Noonien that he loves him or that he misses him. All communications have been kept formal to keep suspicions low. After all, a two-day personal visit from the captain of the Enterprise turns some heads. 

So, Jim has worked hard to ease any niggling worries by keeping their communications unedited and unscrambled. The last time Jim had called Khan, he'd made allusions to this call being secured and scrambled and hopes Khan understood and is looking forward to it. So, he puts through the call, and when it connects, gives Khan is biggest smile. "Hey, baby."

"My James," Khan says, voice rich and deep and slightly unsteady. "How good to be able to speak with you freely again. I and the kittens greet you. They would give their own hellos, as they usually do, but you called too late. They are well asleep." He reaches out to touch the screen. "A few months more, if all goes well, and I can soothe the ache that now defines me."

"Admittedly, they're not who I called to see," Jim purrs, brushing his screen in return. "A month and I'll be back on Earth. Then we can at least speak in person. None of this 'long-distance relationship' stuff. A month after that, and you'll be free."

"And yet, we have made the long-distance relationship work for us," Khan says softly. "Have you already spoken to Dr. Boyce about returning and being able to see me again?" 

Jim nods. "I told him about how I'd need to start meeting with you to bring you up-to-speed on the Enterprise and what'll be expected of you while you're on it, so I'll be able to visit you once a week for that. I think they've penciled in Mondays, or something." 

"Or something," Khan repeats and then mock frowns. "You'd think my lover could remember what days he is to see me." He looks down and strokes the kittens, miming sorrow.

"No, I mean it's tentative and it could change." Jim laughs and holds up his hands, trying to placate Khan. "I don't know what day it'll end up being." 

Khan's mouth quirks into a small smile, and he raises his eyes to look into James', "Then I gladly forgive you, my James. And eagerly await knowing what day I am to see you again in person."

"Though, you could go back to looking sad. You're really cute when you're all pouty," Jim replies, biting at his lip to hide his own smile. 

Khan tilts his head and says with a little smile, "I have never indulged in roleplay before, my James, but if you wanted to..."

"Oh man. We're gonna indulge in all kinds of roleplay when you're on the ship. Mm." Jim's already picturing Khan playing the part of sub, or nurse, or amazingly sexy pizza guy. 

Khan laughs softly and shakes his head. "I see I have unleashed a monster. I knew I should have taken more care with my words."

"You're too nice to me, that's why. You let me do what I want when you really shouldn't. It's a recipe for trouble." Bones and Spock have already figured that bit out, but it's nice that he's still got leeway with Khan.

"You recommend that I be cruel to you?" Khan asks, gently tickling Tiberius' stomach. "Or perhaps hold out on you?" 

"No, definitely not. I like that you're lenient with me." Jim winks lewdly. "Means I can do all sorts of things with you."

"As long as it is equal, I do not mind," Khan says. "I, too, have ideas of what I would like to do to you. So many."

"Yeah? You got some roleplay situations you'd want to do?" Jim tips his head curiously, wondering what Khan would choose. 

"Oh yes," Khan purrs, eyes heated and hooded and full of promise. "So many things, my James."

"Will you tell me one so I have something to look forward to?" Jim asks, as sweet as he can.

Khan looks at him for a moment, smoldering with intent, and says, "I have always thought you would make a sweet, little virgin, my James. With those big, blue eyes and soft face. How very much I would like to corrupt you."

Jim's actually a little flattered by that. "I'll be happy to play coy for you, baby. I know you'll treat me right." 

"I would. I will. Always." Khan reaches out to touch the screen again, fingers brushing lightly over James' image. "And what would you start with first...in this roleplay?"

"How about I start off with something a little standard? You could be my master. I'd have to do whatever you told me to. Would you like that?" Jim gives him a heated look from under lowered lashes. He loves the idea of being powerless under Khan's command. 

Khan swallows and asks, "You would truly find pleasure in that, my James?"

"Yeah, I would. And I'm completely up for it if you are." He hopes Khan's interested, though if he's not, it's not the end of the world. There are other things they can play at. 

"If you are certain, I am sure I can oblige to your specifications," Khan says with a wicked smile. "You would look very well indeed, collared and kneeling at my feet."

"I would. You could put nipple piercings on me and make me call you by your proper title..." Jim licks at his lower lip, already a little excited by the prospect. 

"My proper title," Khan says and then repeats James' gesture, only to his upper lip. "I do like to play with your nipples. Perhaps I will put them in clamps, with a chain to hang between. I can attach your leash to that, instead of your collar."

Jim smirks and runs his fingers over his shirt, rubbing a little at his nipple through the fabric. "Don't tell me all your secrets, baby. Some of it should be a surprise."

Khan snorts and says, "You have no idea all the things i can dream up, my James. And I will not share them all...until the right moment." He sighs and asks, "Why is it that we always devolve to speaking only of sex? There are many other things I crave about being near you again."

The blond laughs, eyes crinkling. "Sorry. You're just so damn sexy that I can't resist. Who could blame me?"

"If I were not augmented, I would worry about keeping up with your needs," Khan confides with a smirk.

"I think maybe you should just be glad that I'm not augmented. I don't think anybody could keep up with my needs then," Jim jokes. 

Khan laughs again, soft and true. "Indeed. You would be overwhelming. You are almost so anyway."

"I'd need three of you just to keep satisfied," Jim says with a nod and then looks a little wistful. Mm. Three Khans. 

Khan growls at James in warning, not liking the idea of sharing him, even with duplicates of himself. "Three mes,'" he says huffily.

"Yeah. I'd prep for days beforehand just so I could fit at least two of you in me," the blond purrs. 

Khan growls again and says, "I do not share." 

"Not even with yourself?" Jim asks with a pout.

"No," Khan says. "I'd tear myself apart. And how terribly Dr. Boyce would think of me then... I'd be locked away forever."

Jim laughs, long and loud, rolling back onto his bed. "Oh my God, that's not something I ever thought I'd picture." 

"Mockery is not kind," Khan says a bit snottily, frowning at the other man. "I love you too much, James, to face with equanimity the idea of sharing you with others. If you wanted it, I would not fight you, but I would suffer, nonetheless."

Jim frowns, feeling bad for making his loer feel that way. "Noonien, I'm not really gonna try to get you into a threesome. I know you don't want that. I'm just teasing you, okay?" 

"Even when I am with you, sometimes I am unsure," Khan confesses, "but when I am so far away..." He rallies a little, mouth quirking up. "Only you, James Tiberius Kirk could make Khan Noonien Singh so uncertain of himself. So humbled."

Jim melts a little, smiling fondly at his lover and wishing he could reach out and hold him. "I won't cheat on you. I promise. That's not something I would do." 

"You told me you wouldn't want to do this without me," Khan says, in a tone that tells James how deeply he believes and appreciates that sentiment. And how much he seconds it.

The blond nods. "Yep. That hasn't changed. You're all I want and I'm not gonna go back out on the Enterprise without you." 

Khan's expression softens even more, and he settles against the bed, gazing fondly at James. "For five years," he says. "And once gone from the Sol system, I shall be with you for all five."

"Yep. You're gonna be sick of me by the end of it," Jim teases lightly. "You're gonna be wishing I didn't talk so much and that I had a better sense of humor." 

Khan gives him a look and then smiles, naughty and promising. "I know how to keep your words to ones I like," he says. "And your bed shall not last the tour."

That makes Jim shiver in anticipation. "It's gonna look suspicious if I'm having to order a new bed once a month." 

"You expect them to last a month?" Khan asks in horror. 

"I was kinda hopin', yeah. A month if not even more," Jim replies seriously, nodding all the while. 

"Then you are having beds made for you out of the strongest reinforced metals and possibly bolted to the walls and floor?" Khan asks.

"They're already made out of reinforced materials and bolted to the walls..."

Khan scowls and says, "That had better be standard or because you are my lover."

Jim laughs again. "It's standard. It's a single bed, though. That might be troublesome." 

Khan sighs and says, "Get extra padding for the floor. As much as you can stash. Can you not order a larger bed?"

"I can, yeah. I just don't want it to really stand out, you know? Maybe I can get Bones to give me some sort of medical reason for it. Maybe he can say I'm a sleep flailer and I keep falling off." Jim grins a little at that. He's willing to sacrifice some of his pride for the greater good.

Khan laughs and says, "I am sure you can persuade him. Besides, he knows about us and will not tell anyone else." 

"I'll talk to him about that, then. Wouldn't want you having to sleep on the floor. Though... how are we gonna get you into my room at night without people noticing a pattern?" Jim muses. 

Khan looks annoyed for a second, before it morphs to a kind of tired sadness. "I will settle for whatever we may have, as long as you are near."

"We'll figure it out, Noonien. Don't worry. We'll make it work." That sad look on his lover's face just breaks Jim's heart. He will find ways to sneak Khan into his room. 

The use of his name eases Khan's expression into something less saddened. "It is the ultimate irony, my James, to have gained the one thing I hold most dear by losing everything else."

Jim doesn't even know what he's supposed to say to that. All he knows is that this conversation has become really depressing. "Yeah..."

Khan leans forward and picks up a kitten, Jamie, who makes a little squeaking noise. "Forgive me, James, for my moods. I will be content on the Enterprise, even in the role of janitor." He considers with a little frown. "Maybe not as a janitor." 

"I'm not gonna make you be a janitor," Jim assures him, not really knowing how else to make him feel better. 

Khan smiles at that statement and says, "A redshirt Security officer, so you can keep me on the bridge." 

"Somebody has to make sure nothing goes crazy up there, right?" Jim knows that, at the start, it will make the rest of his crew uneasy, but he has faith that they'll come to accept it in time. 

"Especially with such characters as your First Officer aboard," Khan says solemnly, trying to ease James even further. 

"Heh. Spock usually blames me for all the trouble, and gets Bones in on it, too." That does lighten Jim's mood a bit and he smiles a little, remembering several of the times he'd been scolded for attracting trouble. 

"Well, having seen some of your officers, I believe trouble must come from all directions," Khan says imperiously.

"Oh, like you're gonna be any exception?" Jim prods good-naturedly. 

"I shall be responsible for keeping you all safe and out of trouble," Khan says with a wave of the hand not holding kitten.

"Doesn't mean you won't attract trouble," the blond replies with a lilt. 

"I expect that you shall account for most of it," Khan says. "And perhaps your communications officer."

"Uhura? No way. She's absolutely perfect in every regard, and she'll kill me if I say anything else."

"She is a menace," Khan translates, "who would geld you for looking at her sideways."

"She demands respect and she gets it, and the worst part is, you have to respect her for it." Jim laughs. He's quite fond of Uhura.

Khan nods and says, "Tell me of your crew I have not met...Sulu, the one who threatened me on Qu'noS."

"Sulu?" Jim recalls the spectacular bluff Sulu pulled off and smirks slightly. "He's my helmsman. He's a great pilot and an excellent swordsman. I'm trying to get him to teach me how to fence. Never know when you're gonna need to fight somebody with a sword, right?" 

"I am rather fond of the sword myself," Khan says. "A saber or a katana, depending on my mood. Whom else have I not met of your Senior crew?"

"Maybe you can spar with me sometime. I'd like that." Jim ponders for a bit. "I don't think you've met Chekov. He's not exactly 'senior crew', given he's an eighteen-year-old ensign, but he's on alpha bridge shift with the rest of us. He's a mathematical genius, and he's pretty much the sweetheart of the ship with those curls of his."

"Eighteen?" Khan asks with a blink. "He graduated from your Starfleet Academy? And you trust him with the alpha shift assignments."

"Absolutely. And you have to remember, we got a lot of young crewmembers when we shipped out because it was an oddball situation. The Vulcan distress signal required an emergency response." Jim rubs at the back of his neck. "So, the Enterprise loaded up with cadets, including me, and shipped out. I'm sure you know that it didn't turn out to be a milk run." 

"The destruction of Vulcan," Khan says simply. "Marcus did not tell me much of it, but enough that I understood how much your Starfleet lost...and then the slime tried to take advantage."

Jim nods. "Yeah. A lot of those cadets died. The Farragut, the Hood, and several other ships were destroyed. Starfleet lost the majority of the graduating class that year." 

"You lost friends," Khan says softly. "Pieces of your family."

"I think I miss Gaila most of all," Jim laments.

"It is this that made Marcus' actions all the worse," Khan agrees with a light growl. "We have all lost too much. Will you tell me of this...Gaila?" 

Jim frowns a little. He's not really had a chance to talk about Gaila since the Narada Incident. "She was on the Farragut. She was the one who helped me hack the Kobayashi Maru, to make it winnable because I couldn't stand that they -- Spock -- had designed it to be unwinnable. Nothing's unwinnable if you try hard enough. So, I improvised. They called it cheating. Anyway, Gaila was sort of my on-and-off fuckbuddy. We had sex frequently. Or... maybe since she was Orion, it was probably less frequently than she probably could have gotten, but still. She was my friend."

"You are a hacker of some renown," Khan says with a little frown to think of someone else with his lover. Still, he knows James played the field before they met, and this person was a friend, killed tragically. "I am sorry for your loss, my James," he says honestly.

"Thanks." Jim rolls onto his side and props the PADD up onto a pillow in front of him. "How did we make everything all depressing?" 

Khan looks at him for a moment and then says, "Because we love each other, my James, so we discuss things that are not always easy." He pauses and looks contemplative for a moment. "Our lives have not always been sunshine and roses, as well," he says, slightly amused. 

"I don't think I've ever received roses, actually, so there's definitely been none of that," Jim replies with a quiet laugh. 

"Would you like some?" Khan asks. "Flowers. Candy perhaps?" He reaches out to touch the screen again. "I want to tell you what I feel, what I think. You are unique in that."

"I'd never say no to candy, unless it's got nuts in it. Unless they're your nuts, then I'd probably love it," Jim amends with a grin. 

"Yes, all things must be chosen carefully for you," Khan says, ignoring the lame crudity with amusement. "You prefer dark or milk chocolate?"

Jim hums and thinks about that for a minute. The idea of Khan bringing him chocolates is... adorable and highly appealing. "Milk chocolate, definitely."

"We may share a large box between us when I return," Khan says. "I do believe San Francisco still has their historical candy maker...Sees."

"I'd like that. Maybe we can get chocolates filled with things? Like cherries or nougat. I like caramel-filled ones." Great, not Jim's going to be dreaming of sweets.

"Something more to look forward to," Khan says with a smile. "The end of this prison food. I am so tired of bland and boring. Well balanced and tasteless."

"I'm not sure you're gonna like the food on the Enterprise that much better, but I'll let you have free run of tweaking the replicators to make everything a little more palatable," Jim promises, figuring it might also serve as a good hobby, if Khan's interested.

"That would be an acceptable task," Khan says. "I could try making some of your favorite dishes. Pizza. And hamburgers..."

"Make stuff you like, first. Curry and.... um. That masala stuff. And..." Jim pauses, trying to remember the names of things Khan used to eat. 

Khan laughs and says, "Bisibelebath," reminding James of the dish he had been allergic to and hated besides.

Jim boggles at the number of syllables in that damn thing. "Busy.... Busybebbelath. Whatever the hell. That thing, yeah." 

Khan laughs again, unable to help himself and says, "Yes, busy-belly-bath," eyes twinkling with mirth.

"Too much alliteration in one word," Jim grumbles. 

"I do hope to find something in my native foods that you like and are not allergic to," Khan says, "but even with my augmentations, I am not holding my breath, as the saying goes."

"If it's sweet, I'll probably like it. Or meaty. I like meats," Jim supplies helpfully.

"Most of our meats come in sauces that you cannot eat," Khan says. "I fear I am reduced to offering you naan as the only thing I am sure you can manage." 

"I guess this means I should never take a trip to India, 'cause I probably wouldn't survive it," Jim says with a frown. 

"May we?" Khan asks suddenly. "Make a trip to what was India one day? I should like to see it again..."

"Way to be inconspicuous about your assassination plans." 

Khan blinks at him and says, "We'll pack Starfleet's delicious protein nibs for your dining pleasure."

"I'd rather have licorice nibs," Jim whines. 

"I am amazed you are not allergic to licorice," Khan says.

"Licorice and air are safe," the blond intones. 

"And you are lucky about the air?" Khan asks innocently.

"Very lucky. Air's dangerous to a lot of people, you know." 

"Especially the hot air you often spout," Khan concludes with a smirk.

Jim gasps at the slight, playfully offended. "Traitor!"

Khan just looks at him with complete fondness and says, "And you are the only one who has ever made me laugh, as well."

"Maybe you've got a strange sense of humor if you think hot air is funny," the blond says with a mischievous grin. 

"My sense of humor may be a bit...warped," Khan agrees. "And that may also explain why I find you so amusing."

Jim scrunches his nose. "Yeah, only the really fucked up people think I'm funny. This is why Bones and Spock never laugh."

Khan scrunches up his nose in imitation of James and asks, "Your doctor friend does not laugh?"

"Well, he does, but usually only when I've done something incredibly stupid that somehow hasn't resulted in me injuring myself. That always gets a pretty good chuckle."

Khan says, "If I believed that, I would be upset for you. However, I know how dear you are to both of your friends, though you kid about it."

Jim shakes his head, fearing he's given Khan the wrong impression. "Bones is just... He's not an optimist, that's all. He's always worrying about one thing or another. It's hard for him to take his mind off all that worrying 'cause that's just who he is. It's why he's a doctor." 

"I did notice the gloom that seems to hang over him like a low lying fog," Khan says, "and yet, if I had to choose a doctor, the race between Dr. Boyce and your Bones would be close."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure you'd do well with either one of them. Bones is the only one I really trust, though. Boyce is great, don't get me wrong, but Bones is who I trust to make sure everything goes back in the right place." The blond smiles a little. 

"Well, he shall be my doctor on the Enterprise," Khan says softly. "I think I may even allow him to run some tests on me, if he has any interest in knowing more about the possibilities of my abilities." 

Jim thinks it's a good thing that Khan's willing to extend that bit of trust. It'll go a long way. "Bones is really good about that sort of thing. Spock's a private sort of guy and nobody really knows that much, medically, about Vulcans, but he still doesn't pry as much as you'd think he'd wanna." 

"It is illogical not to share medical information that may be key to a doctor's treatments," Khan says in a dead-on imitation of Spock.

"Well, then, Mr. Spock, I'm sure you won't have any trouble giving up your secrets," Jim teases. 

"You just want me to have pointed ears," Khan says nonsensically, but feeling amused.

"That would actually be pretty sexy," Jim admits. 

"I hate you," Khan says with a mock scowl. "I thought you loved me as I am, even with my imperfections."

Jim pouts sadly, giving his lover sad, blue eyes. "Don't hate me... Please? I do love you."

Khan purrs at him, low and true. "My James. Will you send me some more Vulcan chai?"

Jim perks up at that, like he's eager for the chance to redeem himself. "Of course I will. You liked it, huh?"

"Yes, and this will be your last chance to get it direct from New Vulcan," Khan says. "Perhaps some plomeek? I should like to try it."

"Sure. I'll put together a package and get it to you as soon as I can. And maybe Spock will have some suggestions for what you might like, too," Jim ponders.

"The older Spock?" Khan asks. "If so, give him my regards."

"That's the one. I don't think my Spock would honestly want anything to do with planning a gift for you, unfortunately..."

"And here we talked of how he might be warming up to me," Khan says with a sigh, though he is not really pained too much.

"It's not like things are easy from his point of view, either," Jim points out. "Maybe I should have another talk with him." 

"He will be my commanding officer," Khan says, "and can look forward to ordering me around. Surely, that must make things a little easier to take."

"I admit that, yeah, it probably does. He's a bit of a control freak and that'll soothe his nerves." Jim adjusts his pillow a little and rubs at his nose. "At least the good news is he can probably keep from strangling you on sight now."

Khan refrains from some nasty comments about choking Spock, but the look he gives James is vastly unimpressed. "He knows I would never hurt you, as well." 

"He does." Jim sighs a little. It'll be a long road to get Spock and Khan to trust each other, or even just work well together, but he's willing to work at it, bit by bit. 

"Perhaps you can move him to gamma shift," Khan says slyly and tilts his head, eyes half-closed.

Jim's mouth tugs down slightly, already thinking of Spock's reaction to that. "I think that would just make him feel like I'm replacing him. Plus, if something does happen, I want him on the bridge. He's still my First Officer and he knows how to work with me to make sure things don't go belly-up when the shit hits the fan, as it tends to when I'm involved."

"You always speak with such lack of self-respect," Khan says quietly. "As if you cannot do things on your own. You became captain on your own merits, James."

The blond shrugs one shoulder. "Wouldn't be able to do anything without my crew, and you're part of it now." 

"I will not shame you."

"I think I'm more worried about me shaming you," Jim replies, tone a little sheepish. 

"Why would you shame me?" Khan asks, unable to think of anything that James would do to shame him.

"Like I said, it's just more likely than the other way around."

"You could not shame me," Khan says softly. "You would not. I am past caring what you do, and I know you would not deliberately do such a thing."

"I know. I'd never do anything to deliberately humiliate you. Never," Jim affirms, licking at his lower lip. "I love you."

Khan purrs again and answers, "And I love you, my James. I can almost feel you in my arms." 

"I miss you. I wish you were here," Jim whines. Khan is too far away right now. 

"I miss you, as well," Khan says softly. "Though I would not give up the time you spent with me, it has made everything that much lonelier."

"I know what you mean." Jim sighs a little. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?"

"And the longing grow," Khan says. "To terrible levels." 

"A month and I'll be on Earth," Jim repeats, hoping to ease the longing for both of them.

"And two months until we can be together again," Khan says. "I am counting the hours."

"Better than a year, right?" 

"And we have nearly gone through that year," Khan says and strokes the kittens' heads, making them purr in their sleep. 

Jim glances fondly at those kittens, safe in his lover's arms. They truly are adorable, and it makes his heart glow to see Khan being so tender with them. "We have. We're almost done. Kinda seems like it took forever just to get this far."

"And you will get your gray lady back with your lover," Khan says. "Truly an all-win scenario." 

"I'm gonna still have to say that she's prettier than you," Jim lightly teases.

Khan hisses, which makes both kittens wake up, fur on end and making distressed mews. Perturbed, he lifts them up and nuzzles into their fur, making soft noises until they calm again. "I do not know how you live with putting your family second to that ship," Khan says in mock sadness. 

"That ship keeps my family safe, doesn't it? And look, you scared the kittens. Shhhhh," Jim soothes, trying to help get them back to slumber. 

Khan sighs and stretches out, stroking the kittens gently and cooing softly to them. They soon relaxed into puddles of goo and rumble at him, eyes half-closing. He continues to speak soft and low to James' namesakes, until they are asleep again. "Satisfied?" he asks James, lifting his eyes back to him.

Jim looks them over and nods his satisfaction. "If the babies are, I am, too." He really should stop calling them babies. 

"The babies are fine," Khan says, making the word 'babies' a tease at James. He knows how much James values family, as much as he does, and that the kittens are included.

"They look so much bigger than when I last saw them. How the hell do they grow so fast? What have you been feeding them?" Jim asks, tone affectionate. 

"They grow fast indeed," Khan says fondly and nuzzles each one softly. He takes their growth as a sign of their happiness and his fitness as their guardian. 

"They're gonna be the size of mountains," Jim quips, not at all displeased. 

"They have already shredded their cat post," Khan says, also pleased with their warrior instincts. "I have requested permission for another."

"Oh my God. They're going to be absolute hellions. My ship will be in shreds by the time they're done with it." 

"Well befitting their namesake," Khan agrees and looks at them with quiet adoration, before giving James the same look.

"You sayin' I shred my ship?" Jim challenges quietly. He knows for a fact he's given the Enterprise a rough time so... yeah, it's probably pretty fitting. 

"I'm saying you're a hellion," Khan says with amusement. He remains silent for a few moments, stroking through the kittens' fur. "And you shed everywhere."

"What?" Jim gasps, affronted. "I'm not a shedder! It was an invisible tribble. I swear."

"It's a good thing you have so much hair, at the rate you lose it," Khan says. 

The blond laughs, dragging his fingers through his hair. "According to you, I should be bald by now, huh?"

"I imagine you owe my blood for maintaining your full head of hair," Khan says imperiously.

"Or the fact that I'm not even thirty, and as far as I know, baldness doesn't run in the family." 

Khan rumbles softly and says, "I am such a cradlerobber."

"You are," Jim says with a twinkle in his eyes. "Taking advantage of an impressionable young man." 

"Impressionable," Khan says. "With no mind or will of his own." 

"None at all. Totally innocent. A blank slate," Jim says, the corners of his lips tugging upwards. 

Khan laughs softly at the idea and shakes his head. "You are a stubborn, Iowa mule."

"You couldn't pick something a little more majestic than a mule?" Jim asks. 

"Your are a stubborn, Iowa kitten," Khan says with a slight smirk.

"....I said more majestic, not less," Jim grumbles. He's not a kitten, dammit. 

"Are you speaking ill of your babies?" Khan asks. "I thought you were a better parent."

"They're lions now, not kittens. Like you. I should be a lion, too," the blond points out and puffs up a little. 

"A pride of lions," Khan says with a nod. "I can accept that."

Jim preens. "You're my lioness."

Khan's expression now says that James is lucky that he's across space from him. "I may need a divorce, in which case, the cubs are mine."

"No, think about it. The lioness does the hunting, she cares the the cubs. The lion is there to look good and make sure the lioness gives him lots of babies." Jim's grin is absolutely devilish. 

"You are a failed lion," Khan informs him, now truly snotty, and lies back down to stroke the kittens and be insulted.

"How can I be a failed lion when I'm the captain?" Jim snorts. 

"You gave me babies," Khan retorts with a snort, "and I look better than you." And the snottiness is gone in a wave of mischief and a smile. Not to mention the softness he shows the kittens.

"No. No, no, no. I brought babies home so my lioness could care for them. And shut up, we're both hot, but I've got a more lion-y complexion. So there." Jim sticks his tongue out, so incredibly mature for his age. 

But Khan is awash in amused superiority and just keeps grinning at James. "You see, we have brought this conversation down to a completely ridiculous level without any effort at all. Mazel tov."

"You say that like you expected something different," Jim replies, equally amused. 

"You were bemoaning our seriousness," Khan says. "And lo, we are now sniping over which one of us is the male lion of the pride. My people would never know this version of me."

Jim thinks on that. It's true, how quickly their conversations can turn to completely ridiculous flights of fancy, but he thinks it's important to have humor and playfulness in a relationship. It strengthens the bond. "They'd think you were adorable, just like I do," Jim decides. 

Khan gives James a funny look, having never been called adorable before. He thinks he should be offended, but as so often happens with his James, he is not. "Somehow, I doubt it, but thank you."

"What? You're so cute, all curled up with your babies. Anybody would think you're adorable," Jim insists. 

Khan snorts and says, "Kittens do not know evil, fortunately, as long as I am kind to them." He ducks down to kiss each of their heads.

"See? Cute. Really cute." Yep, Jim's absolutely convinced that Khan is the cutest thing right now. 

Khan just smiles at James and says, "I shall bow to your opinion, my James. If you find me cute than I am cute."

Jim tries not to look slightly smug. "Good. Now you're getting this whole 'Captain Lion' thing." 

"You mean Captain Puppydog," Khan corrects him. "With those big eyes and pouty face."

"Dogs chase cats, so maybe you're right," Jim banters right back. 

"Puppies do not chase lions," Khan says. "Lions eat puppies." His tongue flashed out to lick over his lips, a tease.

Jim can't deny a certain sense of want when his eyes trace the movement of Khan's tongue. "If I'm not a lion, you're not a lion. You're a kitten."

Khan rumbles in the back of his throat, sounding very much like a lion. The kittens wake up again, little ears back and hair spiking on end.

"You keep scaring the little ones," Jim scolds. 

"They know I'm a lion," Khan says haughtily, but calms them down again with gentle ease, until they curl up on him.

The blond sighs, pretending to be resigned. "No wonder they think they're lions and get to destroy everything." 

"They have my permission to destroy your quarters," Khan says, again nuzzling at each of them and smiling contentedly. "Their other father's."

"What kind of bullshit permission is that? I revoke that permission," Jim replies haughtily. "They can shred your socks, instead."

Khan laughs and says, "Only because the odiferous nature of yours would kill them." He situates himself comfortably, so the kittens can remain comfortably on him.

"If you're gonna say my socks smell like Klingon armpits, you can at least do so in layman's terms," the blond huffs. 

"The more large words you use around young children, the larger their vocabulary as they get older," Khan says.

".....They don't talk." But then Jim gasps. "Unless you mean me."

Jamie mews at James' words, as if protesting the idea that she doesn't talk.

Khan pets her with a smirk and says, "Well, you'll do."

Jim doesn't pout. Definitely not. "I'm gonna start speaking in Kitten and teaching them what a terrible person you are." 

"Please speak in kitten," Khan says, leaning toward the the screen. "I like hearing you squeak." 

All that does is make Jim laugh, and he prods at his PADD as if he thinks Khan will feel it. "I'm not gonna speak in Kitten for you. You wouldn't even understand it." 

"I usually translate for you very well, even when you're not speaking a known language," Khan purrs and both kittens echo him. 

What the hell, Jim figures, and he watches the kittens as he makes a mewling noise at them. It seems to catch their attention, and they swivel their ears towards the PADD, so Jim mewls again. 

Jamie gets up and approaches the PADD, reaching out with one paw slowly to touch the screen. Tiberius, a little shyer than his sister, huddles on Khan and makes little questioning meows of his own.

This begins a back-and-forth banter between Jim and the kittens, Jim pretending like he's conveying important information to them, and occasionally glancing at Khan with a quirk of his eyebrow. 

Khan listens to them squeak back and forth at each other, Tiberius soft and kind of tremulous and Jamie strong and loud. She continues to bat at the screen, trying to reach her other person. 

Jim connects her paw with his finger on the screen, feeling a little proud that she's so responsive. Though, he thinks it'd be good if Tiberius would grow some balls and headbutt his way past his sister every once in a while. 

Khan rolls Tiberius gently on his back and tickles his belly with long fingers. "I imagine they will both be rather popular creatures."

"I have a feeling it'll make a good impact on your reputation. Can't be all bad and scary if you have two kittens, right?" Jim says, thoughtful.

"Yes, I believe they shall find it more difficult to take me too seriously," Khan agrees, in a quietly thoughtful way. 

"I'll give you the right to tell them off if they start petting you," Jim purrs. 

Khan asks, "You won't mind otherwise if they pet me? Not even a slight bit of jealousy?"

"Maybe a little, but why would I deny you positive attention and love?"

"I want love from you, my James, and most positive attention, too," Khan says softly. "I do not need more, though I suppose it would be easier if your crew did not fear me."

"It'll be good for you to have friends." Mostly, Jim doesn't want Khan to be lonely. Jim knows his duties as captain keep him busy, and the thought of Khan suffering because of it makes him frown.

"Friends," Khan muses, even as Jamie's head pokes over the top of the bed. "I have two here, I think." He lifts Jamie up from her perch on the side, even as she gives him a displeased mew.

"Those are kids. Not the same thing," Jim gently reminds him. 

Khan laughs softly and says, "Very well, if you will persist in thinking of them as our kids, well, they still give me company. Nonjudgemental company."

Jim meows at them a little more and then looks pleased with himself. "I've warned them about how mean you are. I told them you accept virgin sacrifices on Saturdays and twice on Sundays." 

"You will also suffice, my James," Khan says and scratches Tiberius rear end, making the little one raise his butt. The kitten stays on Khan, though, not wanting to leave his safe spot. "I fear Tiberius is shy."

"That's not entirely unlike me," Jim admits. "I was a good kid once upon a time." 

Khan lifts the male kitten to show him to James. "Say something now, my James."

Jim meows encouragingly at Tiberius, trying to get the kitten to respond in turn. He gets a quiet squeak, but he's not sure if that's because of Khan picking him up or because he's responding to Jim. 

Khan smiles and says, "There you are, Tiberius. Say hello to James again." He strokes the kitten gently and eases him forward a little more.

Tiberius makes a louder mew and seems to look at James, little front paws waving in the air.

Jim's grin is brilliant, like he's watching his kid learn to walk. "Good boy." He mewls again, smiling a little wider when there's a more enthusiastic squeak in response. 

Jamie, jealous of the special treatment for Tiberius, attempts to rub herself against the screen, butting in front of Tiberius and Khan.

"Your little girl is the jealous sort," Khan says, as Tiberius squeaks in protest. The boy kitten hushes when he's cradled to Khan's broad chest.

"Attention hog," Jim says, poking the screen again, as if he could push her out of the way. "We're trying to give your brother a pep talk." 

"She is merely emulating your behavior," Khan says and urges her gently away, before setting her on the floor. She promptly heads for the food bowl, and Khan and Tiberius have James to themselves. "Alone at last."

"You gotta give him kitten strength training, or something. Teach him to box. Make him drive a corvette off a cliff." 

"Do you begrudge him his gentleness, James?" Khan asks, soothing a finger over the back of Tiberius, who looks up adoringly at Khan. 

The blond lets out a huff through his nose. "'Course not. He's the cute one who's going to get all the love from the ladies on the Enterprise." 

"I know, I just -- I want you to be happy," Jim admits quietly, scratching at the base of his jaw.

"Happiness has been a scattered sensation in my life," Khan says. "What moments I have scraped together have been interrupted, even those with you."

"There's no eternal happiness," Jim agrees. "Just whatever you take for yourself wherever you can. I just hope those moments are happening more frequently for you than they used to."

"I disagree," Khan says softly. "I think one can be eternally happy, if one is lucky in all things. You and I have just failed with that kind of luck."

Jim blinks at him for a moment and then he laughs. "How is it possible that you've got a better outlook than I do?"

"I am a romantic at heart," Khan says simply. "The people who created augments were, as well, for all their and my savagery. It takes a romantic to think that a group of people engineered to be better can somehow solve the problems of an entire world." 

"Speaking of romantics, didn't you promise to read me poetry sometime, or something?" Jim asks, scrunching his nose as he tries to remember. 

Khan looks at him and then smiles ever so slowly. "SERENE, I fold my hands and wait,  
Nor care for wind, nor tide, nor sea; I rave no more 'gainst time or fate, For, lo! my own shall come to me."

"Is that Burroughs?" Jim asks, squinting a little more. He thinks it is. It sounds vaguely familiar. He remembers something about being a naturalist. "Keep goin'." 

"Do you want the whole poem, my James, or only the relevant parts?" Khan purrs.

"I just want to hear you talk," Jim says, closing his eyes so he can focus on listening. 

Khan smiles and continues his recitation, clear and warm for his lover. He knows rhythm and intonation and emotion, and that is clear in how he speaks the words, long memorized. But the end is the part that brings out the best in him. "The stars come nightly to the sky; The tidal wave unto the sea; Nor time, nor space, nor deep, nor high, Can keep my own away from me."

Jim smiles softly as he closes his eyes, listening to Khan's seductive voice. He likes listening to his lover, even from so far away. Khan's voice soothes him, and it's hard for him to open his eyes when the Augment finally finishes. "That was nice."

"Nice," Khan parrots with a low chuckle. "I was hoping for a bit more than nice, but I thank you anyway."

"It was a recitation to rival the thrumming heart of a pulsar. Better?" Jim crinkles his nose. 

Khan looks unimpressed and then rolls his eyes in imitation of James. "I shall not endeavor to recite to you again. Or perhaps, I shall keep it to simple things, such as Row, Row, Row Your Boat." 

"Hey, I said it was nice and I meant it," Jim replies with a pout. He was thoroughly enjoying himself, thank you very much.

"Twinkle, twinkle little star," Khan says with obvious amusement. "How I wonder what you are."

Jim rolls his eyes a little and frowns. "I enjoyed listening to you, okay? You know I like the sound of your voice."

Khan softens his expression and says, "I realize. I have a voice that is cultured, I am told. Resonant."

"Yeah. It's commanding when you want it to be, but completely soothing the rest of the time," Jim says in agreement, pillowing his head on his arm. 

"Soothing," Khan says consideringly and then shrugs. "I do not believe most people would find it so. But it soothes me that you do."

Jim's smirk is a little bit smug. "Most people aren't your boyfriend, and that's good."

"So long as you are content with the position," Khan says, amused by the term boyfriend.

"I'll be more than content when you get over here and put your hands all over me," the blond replies, voice husky. 

"At least I know I am wanted for my body," Khan reflects, faux moodily. He tips a wink at James. "I am fortunate that augments also age slowly."

That reminder always makes Jim a little antsy when he thinks about the future. What happens when he starts slowing down and Khan's still young? "Oh, yeah. Wouldn't want you once you get all wrinkly."

"I am thinking more, my James, that you will never be too old for me to want you," Khan says softly. "And that your stamina is likely to remain increased by my blood, as well."

Jim shifts a little, wondering if Khan read his mind somehow. "You think so?"

"Very much," Khan says with a deep nod of respect toward his lover. "Do you not?"

"I think you'll still want to be out among the stars when I'm getting too old for it." 

"A confession, my James? I would happily settle down and cease anything but existing, did I think you would be contented with it," Khan says. "I am tired."

Jim smiles a little in response, though he's still slightly hesitant. "I just don't want you to think I'll hold you back if you want to go out and explore more. It's addicting." 

"We shall speak of it more in fifty years, when you are ready," Khan says. "So long as I am with you, I will be well. It is being apart that obviously has a deleterious affect on us both."

"Maybe s'because you use your sexy voice on me and I fall for it every time," Jim chides. 

"So, I should..." Khan trails off and looks at James for an answer.

"Change absolutely nothing." 

"I shall follow your orders to the letter, Captain," Khan purrs in his best sexy voice.

The blond shivers a little, taking a moment to enjoy those tantalizing tones. "Tease...."

"To myself, as well as you," Khan says with a sigh and let's his eyes close to half-mast. "I tell myself that soon enough, we will be together."

"We will be. Then you'll be whispering in my ear for real." Jim stifles a yawn by turning his face against his bicep. "I'll be able to fall asleep to the sound of you breathing, or listening to your heartbeat..."

"And in my arms," Khan says fiercely, denying anyone who might want to keep that from being a reality.

"Mm hmm," Jim purrs, loving the thought of that. It sends goosebumps all over his body. "You'll have to remind me how it feels to be held."

"Gladly shall I do this," Khan says. "And now, it appears you do need your rest, my James."

"Gonna be lonely tonight without you," Jim murmurs. 

"As it is every night without you, my James," Khan says. "But if all is well, these days should soon draw to a close."

Jim yawns again and reaches out with his free hand, brushing his fingers against the base of the PADD and just leaving them there while his eyelids grow heavy. "Yeah. I'll see you soon." 

"Love you," Khan says softly. "And so do the...children." He smiles slightly at the word. "Sleep well."

"Love you, baby. Night," Jim manages, muffled as he is by his arm. And then he flicks his thumb over the button to end the call, heart aching now that the screen is black. He already misses Noonien.


	23. Forewarned...

Jim's a little tired when he makes his way down to the Mess. After he'd had Sulu turn the ship around to head back to Earth's spacedock, he'd been excited, but that had lasted up until he got to his quarters and received a written request from Admiral Archer to meet once Jim has returned to Earth. Officially, it's to check in about his probation and his performance on New Vulcan, but there's a little note in there about some "odd interference" on the transmissions to Earth. 

Jim spends fifteen minutes agonizing about what that means and what the Admiralty suspects and how much they've investigated and what he should write back before he gives up and just sends a "Yes, sir. I'm looking forward to the opportunity to speak with you" and leaves it at that. And since there's no point in worrying on an empty stomach, he decides to head down to the Mess. 

It's only after he's gotten his hamburger and fries that he realizes he's being waved over to a table where Spock, Bones, and Uhura are seated, with an extra spot already saved for him, so he brings his tray over and sets it down, plunking himself heavily in his seat without really meaning to. "Hey, guys. Feeling excited about heading home?"

Uhura smiles at Kirk and says, "And back to the Enterprise. I'm glad we've all been able to serve together, but the communication equipment on this ship is antiquated, at best. I've been spoiled by having all the newest and best at my fingertips."

"You're not wrong, darling," Bones says with a nod to her. "The Med Bay here is barely fit enough to treat a case of athlete's foot." He turns to Jim and says, "I've got other reasons for being excited. Joce is bringing Jo up to meet us when we get back to San Francisco. You best be there to say hello this time, Jim. She's anxious to see you again."

Jim agrees whole-heartedly with them. He'll be glad to be back on board his gray lady, and for more than one reason. "No ship can compare to the Enterprise, so that's a given," he quips, managing a smile that's a little brighter than he actually feels. "'N' that's great, Bones. I'm happy for you. You've been missing her so much that I swear you've started calling everybody Joanna." 

Spock tips his head to the side curiously. "Doctor McCoy has not referred to me as 'Joanna', Captain, so I am uncertain of the accuracy of your statement." 

"Oh my God, Spock," Jim groans. 

Uhura laughs lightly and says, "And what of you, Captain? I imagine you must have a lot of plans for your return to Earth."

"Yeah. Gotta get the official stuff out of the way first -- and visiting Joanna," Jim quickly adds with a glance towards Bones, "then I'll see where my legs take me." 

"Starfleet will be offering accommodations for the entirety of the crew until the Enterprise launches," Spock supplied, thinking it better to inform rather than assume they all know. 

Bones grumbles a little, "Better not be the cheap ass places they stuck us last time. Sometimes I swear they don't know how to think things through at all."

Uhura pats Bones hand once and says, "I'm sure we'll rate a little better this time, Doctor. I got a copy of the report the Vulcans sent Starfleet, as did both the Captain and Spock, so I know they had nothing but praise for us all."

Bones smiles a thanks at her and then glances more narrowly at Jim. "For a man who just received high praise from a rather important source, you don't look all that happy, Jim. What's eatin' you?"

"Indeed, Captain, your posture is unusually stiff," Spock agrees. 

Jim thinks it's a bad sign when Spock's piping up that he seems off. How the hell obvious is he being? He raises his eyebrows innocently, trying to look surprised by the observation. "What? Nothing's eating at me. I'm just hungry and so excited to get home that I might've missed a little sleep last night, that's all," he lies, smooth as silk. Or... maybe smooth as sandpaper. He's really not sure with this group: three pairs of eyes that are all good at spotting discrepancies. 

Bones' right eyebrow goes up in sheer disbelief, and he says, "Don't try to soft peddle us, Captain-" using the rank against his friend this time "-we know when you're trying to hide something. And don't think I haven't notice that you've lost a few pounds you can't really afford. Given your crappy diet, that ought to be impossible."

Jim's jaw drops open slightly, but then he grins. "Wait. Does this mean I get to have cinnamon buns and bacon?" he asks hopefully, changing the subject. 

"It means, Captain," Uhura, who has always been immune to the Kirk charm (well, outwardly), says, "that you need to tell us what's going on, so we can help you. Or at least give you our support."

The Vulcan also nods his agreement with this assessment, fingers steepling over his salad. "That is both our duty as your subordinates and as your friends." 

"Aw, geez, when you put it like that--" Jim jokingly groans. He licks his lower lip, sobering a little, and munches on his fries before he sucks in a breath. "Got a letter from Admiral Archer. He just wants to talk to me about how we did, what's next, what happened with the shitty reception on our communications, that sort of thing. Not really something I'm looking forward to. That's all." He doesn't want to bother them with the fact that he might've been tampering with the reception.  
Bones looks unimpressed with that explanation. "Jim-" he begins.

"Bullshit," Uhura says somewhat forcefully. "You don't lose weight over one message. And you're not afraid or any damn Admiral without cause, Captain."

"Seven-point-seven pounds," Spock supplies, backing Uhura's play. She's not the only one who's noticed how much Jim has lost.

"You can tell that by looking!?" Jim gapes at his First Officer. 

"It is an estimation. Weight is merely a function of volume and density," Spock levelly replies.

"Jesus." Jim rubs at the back of his neck. "I've just been lonely the past month, okay? It was the last month before we got back and I could, you know..." See Khan again. 

Uhura's mouth thins for a moment, but then she releases a soft sigh. She and Kirk hashed this out months ago, and she understands more now about the bond between the augment and her captain. Still, it's not something she's exactly comfortable with. However, she wants to support Kirk. "You don't have to be afraid to talk us about that, you know."

"Uhura's right, Jim," Bones adds. "We're all backing you up on this one. And we're your friends, goddamit. We want to be able to help."

Spock, for his part, shifts as if somewhat uncomfortable with this line of conversation. "While I do not agree with the relationship you have chosen to have with Khan Noonien Singh, I cannot deny the proof of his regard and love for you."

Jim cracks a bit of a smile. "Yeah, I know none of you really like this, but I'm certain that you'll get used to him in time. Especially when he comes bearing furry friends."

Uhura's mouth quirks a little, too, at the smile, but she says firmly, "You're still trying to change the subject. Don't think we don't notice."

"Yeah, if your main reason for being down is missing Khan, shouldn't you be happy now? We're only a few days out from Earth. You can visit in person, right?" Bones asks.

"Of course I'm happy about that. I'm absolutely gonna visit him, first thing." Jim pauses and then frowns. "Okay, second thing." 

"Your meeting with Admiral Archer," Spock supplies.

"He's generally a good guy, isn't he?" Bones asks. "One of the admirals not involved in the Marcus mess, and he's vigorously pursued and prosecuted those who were. He was a friend of Pike's, too, wasn't he?" 

"Yeah, he is. He's definitely one of the better admirals Starfleet's got, especially since he forgave Scotty for that incident with his beagle," Jim says, a small grin forming. "Plus, he's absolutely ancient, and I could outrun him if I really needed to."

Uhura says, "And he was the first Captain of the Enterprise, so he should understand you better." She shoots Jim a slightly amused glance.

"He's not that old," Bones says with an eyeroll. "And it helped that Scotty bribed him with another beagle."

Spock inclines his head to the side slightly, brows drawing together a minute amount. "He is one hundred forty-two years old, Doctor. By human standards, he is quite old."

"Shit, really?" Jim asks. "I knew he was old, but... damn." 

Bones gives Spock a look and says, "People were living into their one twenties back when medicine was still medieval. Admiral Archer is in great shape. You're just worried we're going to sneak up on your Vulcans." 

Uhura lightly kicks Jim under the table and says, "You need to show him some respect, Captain." 

Spock raises an eyebrow back at the doctor. "That is not my concern at all. In fact, having a longer lifespan may serve to ingrain a more deeply-rooted sense of patience in humans, as you will have more time. Perhaps not everything will seem so urgent." 

Jim holds up his hands. "Okay, guys, okay. Let's all play nice, huh?" And then he sends Uhura a wink. "Just because he's old doesn't mean I don't respect him. I respect Bones, don't I?" 

Bones' kick is much harder and better aimed than Uhura's, since he knows how to make it hurt without substantial injury. The glare he levels simultaneously on Spock could melt duranium. "All I'm saying is that Admiral Archer is in great shape and could live another twenty years."

"Ow," Jim yelps, reaching under the table to rub at his shin. "Do no harm! What happened to that?" he grumbles. 

"It doesn't apply to cocky jackasses who make my life a misery and don't eat their vegetables," Bones says with a glare at Jim's plate. "Now we've established at least that Admiral Archer is a good man, so why don't we move to whatever's got your panties in a twist about this meeting." 

"What if I just don't like meetings?" Jim asks, trying to be as innocent as possible. 

Uhura sighs and says, "It's not cute when you try to pretend that we're all dumb as rocks."

Bones nods agreement with Uhura and adds, "Not to mention that we're your closest friends, Jim."

"I am in agreement, Captain. If you relay your worries, perhaps we will be able to assist," Spock adds. 

Jim groans. Of course they'd all gang up against him. He knew this would happen. He rubs his hand over his face and takes in a breath. "It's about the scrambled calls."

So, it is Khan," Uhura says, obviously having suspected that all along. "You've been calling him against the rules?"

"No," Jim edges in, quick to make sure they don't misunderstand. "I'm completely allowed to make contact with him." 

"But not with a scrambler engaged," Bones says. "Have you talked about anything that would be considered a security breach?"

Jim scrunches his nose. "We talk about thinks you'd normally talk about with your boyfriend." 

The Vulcan suppresses a frown. "If Starfleet were to discover--"

"I know," Jim interrupts. "That's why I scrambled it. And I did a professional job of it, thank you." 

"My only point with the question was that Jim can say truthfully that he didn't talk about anything with Khan that could be considered a true danger to Starfleet. You just didn't want anyone listening in on some of the more personal subjects you discussed. You don't have to be overly detailed about what those were," Bones says.

Uhura frowns and says, "You were making these calls off the books, too. I would have noticed them otherwise."

"I made them from my personal comm," Jim admits. "I didn't want to involve you in it, just in case things went wrong." He takes a moment to consider Bones' words, though. "...Actually, yeah. That's a good point. Khan's in for therapy, technically, right? I could say he talked to me about personal things and leave it at that. That's brilliant."

"So you propose to lie to Admiral Archer?" Spock asks. 

"Why you cold-blooded-" Bones starts, but is cut off by Uhura's boot to his knee, which makes him swear.

"No, Spock, he proposes to be creative with the truth," Uhura corrects her boyfriend.

Jim smiles a little when his fellow humans leap to his defense. "She's right, Spock. It's not really a lie, it's just... not the entirety of the truth. What I did talk about with Khan really was some personal-issue stuff, and the encouragements that went with it might've just been a little too familiar, that's all." 

Spock falls silent for a bit, obviously contemplating this information, but then he nods. "I understand. I believe the appropriate phrase is 'what he doesn't know won't hurt him'." 

"Exactly," Jim praises. 

"Especially because Jim didn't do anything truly dangerous for Starfleet," Bones says with an approving nod to Spock. "Still... what happens if Archer doesn't believe you?"

"I don't know. He won't have any proof that I did break the rules, so.... it'll be up to his discretion." Jim shrugs. 

"Given your probationary status," Spock says carefully, "it is within regulations for him to extend your probation or reassign you to another ship." 

"Given your hero reputation and the work you've done with the Vulcans, that seems unlikely," Bones says, trying to assuage Jim's worries.

"You think he'll go after Khan," Uhura says, looking intensely at her captain.

"He might," Jim admits, licking at his lower lip. "But Khan hasn't done anything wrong. I initiated the calls. I scrambled them."

"But he participated," Bones says. "So, he still broke the terms of his imprisonment."

"It'll all depend on how harshly Admiral Archer wants to interpret everything," Uhura says, sympathetic now.

Jim sighs, hoping that things will go better than he's anticipating. "He'll have no reason to go after Khan if I tell him Khan had no idea and no way of knowing. It would have seemed like a regular call to him." 

"That would be an actual lie, Captain, would it not?" Spock asks, uncertain how he feels about Jim lying to an admiral. On the one hand, he does not want Jim to face repercussions for something that, if he is telling the truth -- which he most likely would be, given his loyalty to Starfleet -- would cause no damage. On the other hand, Spock does not like breaking regulations. "It would be better, then, to simply imply Khan did not know by saying he would have no way to detect the scrambling, than to actually say that you did not tell him." 

Jim just blinks at his Vulcan First Officer, surprised that Spock would even suggest that. It just goes to prove that the crew is having a good (bad?) influence on him. He's actually a little proud!

Now, Bones' expression is very much approving, as he looks at the Vulcan First Officer. "Maybe we should put together a list of suggestions for how Jim can handle the meeting," he says. "Since we can't be there to monitor."

Uhura nods, now all mischief, and says, "A way to help him not trip over his own tongue."

"This would be most beneficial," Spock agrees.

Jim glares at the lot of them, though it's only half-hearted. "You think I can't handle a diplomatic mission on my own?"

"If you would rather we didn't help you in any way, Captain," Uhura says softly, "then we'll leave it solely in your hands not to have things go against Khan."

Jim hangs his head. "No, I... Anything you could do to help would be appreciated. Really."

Bones pats Jim on the shoulder and says, "We do want to help, you know. It's not like you're not obvious in your pining. That's part of the reason why it's so obnoxious that you won't talk about it." 

"You genuinely love him," Uhura says. "It's kind of cute, really."

Spock gives Uhura an odd look at that one, as if pondering what could possibly be deemed 'cute' about the captain being in love with Khan Noonien Singh. 

Jim ignores his First Officer's confusion in favor of laughing at the compliment. "Careful, now. You're going to tarnish my reputation with that sort of talk." 

Uhura just grins at Spock for a second, before giving Jim a withering glance. "As if you care."

"Your reputation has already been shot by all the mooning," Bones agrees, shoveling some greenery on to Jim's plate.

Jim's a little taken aback by the glare he gets from Uhura, but he does his best to shrug it off. "I'd like to think it's improving." 

"If by that you mean people are taking you seriously as an adult...then yes, you're reputation is much improved," Uhura says, and there's warmth in her voice. "Being serious about Khan has made you a man." 

Jim wants to respond to that with, "I thought having a dick made me a man", but he wisely holds his tongue on that particular quip. Instead, he picks at the greens on his plate and wonders what in the hell that thing is that Spock's eating. It looks like blue spinach that's decided Victorian lace is fashionable. 

"What, no comeback?" Bones asks. "That alone shows growth on your part." He watches Jim pick at his food and finally says, "Putting it in your mouth is much more effective."

A particularly devilish response pops into Jim's head, but given that it would involve Bones' mother, he refrains from that one, too. Doesn't mean he won't grin about it, though. "It won't taste good with my fries." 

"I do not believe flavor is supposed to be the sole deciding factor, Captain," the Vulcan points out. 

"Shh, Spock." 

"That's an easy thing to fix," Bones says and removes all of Jim's fries, putting them out of reach.

Jim outright gasps and makes a lunge for his fries. "HEY!"

Bones blocks him neatly with one arm and says, "Vegetables first."

Uhura sighs and says, "And there goes the adult behavior..."

"You can't just fry-block a man," Jim whines, still trying to reach past Bones and retrieve the rest of his fries. 

Spock takes the opportunity to stand, his own salad having been consumed. "I have projects to which I must return. I will forward any advice I have regarding your upcoming meeting with the admiral." 

Uhura rolls her eyes at Spock, but with a knowing twinkle. She'll be meeting him later that night for one of their 'talks.' "Goodnight, Commander."

"Bad Jim, no fries!" Bones scolds, pushing the plate even further away.

"But they're mine!" Jim's practically crawling on the table now to get at his fries. He'll be damned if Bones keeps them from him. 

"Damn it, you infant, finish your vegetables and you can have them back!" Bones roars.

"And that's my cue," Uhura says, daintily standing up and carrying her empty tray away. "Goodnight, gentlemen." There's definite sarcasm on the gentlemen.

"Bye!" Jim manages a wave before he's shoving Bones nearly out of his seat and grabbing his fries. "Ah hah! Mine!" And now he has to make a break for it. 

"You eat those fries and I'll tell Khan about the time you dyed yourself blue," Bones says.

"Go ahead. I dare you. It's not like I've got any pride left where he's concerned," Jim counters, stuffing a handful of fries into his mouth. 

Bones stares at him for a long moment and then says, "I'll tell him you need to stick to a healthy diet, otherwise, you're at risk. And ask his help in enforcing it."

"I'll tell him you're full of shit and that I can make it up in other ways." Jim smirks at him, a little lewd. That should get his meaning across and stop all further threats. Hopefully.

Bones raises his left eyebrow and asks, "You think he'd risk your health, if I made an issue of it?"

"Come on, Bones. He's a genius. He's not gonna fall for that BS," Jim scolds lightly, not actually entirely sure he's right about that. 

 

"It's not BS," Bones says and now, looks a bit hangdog. "I wish you'd take things seriously just sometimes, Jim." He gathers up the remains of his dinner and stands. "I'll see you tomorrow..." 

Jim's not sure where the suddenly morose attitude comes from so he abandons his fries and trails after his friend. "Hey... What's that all about? I do take things seriously. It's not like I'm gonna drop dead." ....Maybe that was a bad choice of words. 

"Jim," Bones says, voice a warning. "I don't feel like going over this with you tonight. I try everything, but I might as well talk to myself."

Jim stops his hand where it's very nearly on Bones' shoulder and then he drops it to his side. "Okay," he says, and somehow, he manages to sound meek, which is sort of how he feels. He doesn't particularly like it when Bones is mad at him and he's not entirely sure what he's done to set it off. It's like treading on glass. 

Bones blows out a long sigh and says," I don't ask you to try and eat a bit better just because I find it enjoyable to fight with you. I do have a reason. I just wish you'd show some sort of respect for that sometimes."

Jim's not really sure what to tell him because if he's bluntly honest, it'll just make things worse. Jim eats what he wants to eat because he doesn't honestly think he'll live long enough for it to matter. "I'll make sure there's plenty of veggies in my omelette tomorrow morning, how about that?"

Bones smiles faintly and says, "All right, Jim. That sounds good."

"Alright. Veggies for breakfast, it is." Jim gives his friend a mock salute. "You can even come by and see it with your own eyes, if you want." 

"Are you inviting me to breakfast?" Bones asks, obviously softening a bit toward his friend.

"If you're not busy." Jim knows for a fact that there hasn't been an accidents lately, and since they're on their way home, Sickbay is probably more boring than watching a Vulcan meditate. 

"I'm never too busy for you, Jim," Bones says. "I'll be there. Just not to ungodly early...I know how you are."

"You say that like you think I'm a morning person," the blond jokes, clapping his friend on the shoulder as they head out of the Mess. "I don't get up early if I don't have to." 

"Yeah, but you've been keeping an early schedule of late," Bones says. "And you know how much I love it, too."

Jim grins and feigns a gasp. "What? No way. You're the king of morning people. You sing songs and dance on the tables and smile at everybody."

Bones just rolls his eyes and says," You've got that remembered the wrong way, Jim." He sobers and looks at him seriously. "How worried are you?"

"It'll be fine. He's not a hard-ass. I'm sure I can explain things reasonably well enough that he won't think I'm spilling top-secret Starfleet info to Khan. I mean... why would I, anyway?" Jim snorts. 

Bones looks at him for a moment and then sighs again. "I can never tell if you're bullshitting me or you really think it's going to be all right."

Jim just flashes him a bright smile. "It'll be fine." He's... mostly sure of that, anyway.

Bones accepts this with a nod and a faint smile. "What're your plans for the rest of the evening, then?"

"I had a hankering for swimming, but this stupid thing doesn't have a pool," Jim pouts. "So I'm gonna have to settle for ... I have no idea. This ship is boring." 

Bones chuckles and asks, "How about some cards? We can trick Sulu and Chekov into losing."

"Sure!" That's definitely a better plan than whatever Jim was gonna do, so he'll follow along with the doctor, wherever he leads. "Let's bet bourbon." 

"Cards it is," Bones says and heads for the small Officer's Lounge with his captain and best friend.


	24. ...Is Not Forearmed

The few days to Earth passed by without further fanfare. Spock, Bones, and Uhura collaborated on some tips for him when speaking to Archer, and while Jim felt he was reasonably prepared, he still wasn't absolutely confident. There were plenty of way that this could go wrong. Not that he'd let the rest of them know that. 

When they'd beamed down to Earth, though, he'd let some of his worries be waylaid by the cheeriness that was Joanna. Jim hadn't had a chance to say hello to her in what felt like a lifetime, so he'd made sure to give her plenty of hugs and a big grin. 

Then it was off to more unpleasant things. Namely, a meeting with Admiral Archer, who would likely have been fairly pleasant to speak with under better circumstances. 

He sits outside the admiral's office until the secretary finally waves him in. He stands at attention in front of the desk and the man behind it, back straight and gaze straight ahead. "Reporting as requested, sir." 

Admiral Archer suppresses a sigh as Captain James T. Kirk comes to attention in front of his desk. He feels all of his years in this moment, gazing at the young man, this half-mad person who somehow became the youngest captain in Starfleet. He sometimes wonders about the wisdom of that move, if Admiral Pike hadn't been blinded by the name, by guilt and by paternal affection.

But no, this man has earned the support of his crew, steadfast and strong behind him. And that's the greatest testament a captain can have, the willingness of his crew to follow him anywhere. Archer swears sometimes he can still hear Trip walking beside him, or Hoshi... 

He looks over Kirk's expression and wonders if he knew Hoshi, another name to be etched on to the plaque that commemorates Tarsus IV. If Starfleet ever got its head out of its ass and let the truth be known.

Fuck, he is too old for this.

He'd had his retirement planned and everything, until Marcus managed to screw over that and everything else decent about the organization Archer loves. Marcus might have been lucky that Khan crushed his head in, cause Archer was certainly willing to do it.

And that brings him back to Captain Kirk and this meeting.

"At ease, Captain," he says. "Take a seat. Do you want to tell me why I've called you here?"

Jim eases himself down into the chair opposite Archer, doing a damn good job at not looking as tense as he feels. His smile is actually fairly confident and amicable. "You'd like to know if I was successful in convincing the Vulcans to build a chocolate factory," he tries. 

Archer huffs an impatient breath and says, "Admiral Pike was a friend of mine, Captain Kirk, and I'd rather you didn't spit on his memory by mocking the faith he had in you."

That firms Jim's jaw up quickly and pulls his lips into a tight line. "You want to talk about those scrambled communications." 

"I was hoping you might explain them to me without my having to force the issue, Captain," Archer says. "Since communications were supposed to be monitored to the prisoner, Khan Noonien Singh, scrambled messages are not a laughing matter, especially to the panel tasked with deciding on his release in a month."

Jim sighs and rubs his hand through his hair, like he was expecting this to be a bit of an issue but that it's really not. "He's going through therapy. I'm sort of his second therapist. He tells me things he's not really comfortable talking about with others. He talks to me about his sessions with Doctor Boyce, tells me about his anxieties. I'm going to be his captain. I want him to trust me. The least I could do was give him a bit of privacy."

"I mean," Jim continues, "I know I'd be pissed off if I found out afterward that somebody had been listening in on my conversations when I was baring my soul about Tarsus IV." 

Admiral Archer stares at him for long, long moments, face a mask of elegant disbelief. "So, you're telling me, Captain Kirk, that you went through all the trouble of scrambling a murderer's message to prevent him from having others hear his nightmares and fears. Am I understanding your explanation correctly?" He rubs at his face tiredly. "I suppose you explained to Mr. Singh that these messages violated the terms of his imprisonment and release agreement and could be grounds for a longer sentence, possibly a life sentence?"

"'Course I didn't tell him that. How the hell was he supposed to know? I always initiated the calls. There was nothing on his end that would've signaled it was scrambled. He never would have talked to me if I'd told him that." The blond rubs at the back of his neck and holds the admiral's gaze, willing the man to believe him. "Look, I'm about to have a convicted murderer on my ship. I need to know as much about him as possible and I need him to trust me when I make decisions. I figured this was a good way to go about it, considering we were on entirely different planets." 

"And yet, you didn't bother to notify anybody else about it," Archer says with a frown. "You didn't go through any proper channels or even just give Dr. Boyce a notice about what you were doing. I don't consider that very proper behavior for a Starfleet captain, Mr. Kirk. Your attitude toward the command structure leaves more than a little to be desired!" He takes a few deep breaths, trying to clam his old heart a bit. "I've half a mind to add to Khan's sentence just to teach you more about following orders."

Jim stiffens at that, back going straight. "Admiral, if you're going to punish anybody, it should be me. Khan had absolutely nothing to do with it and punishing him for something he didn't do will only embitter him towards Starfleet. Right now, he bears us no ill-will. He wants to serve, to make up for what he's done. What good will come out of extending his sentence?"

"Captain Kirk, as much as I'd like to make you a small example of going around the command structure, the way I've made Marcus' cronies a large one, the fact is that right now, you're one of the remaining bright lights in Starfleet. Admittedly, Komack got a little heavy handed when he made you an errand boy to New Vulcan, but you've managed to come up all roses on that, too. My choices are to let this go or to punish you through Khan...I have to say you're going a long way for a convicted murderer."

"Sir, I just don't understand why you don't just punish me directly. I misstepped, not him. And I made my reasons clear. Why antagonize him for absolutely no reason? He's demonstrated a remarkable ability to act like a normal human being, and you'll just go and sucker punch him? That doesn't seem right. Doesn't matter who it is." 

Archer stares for a long time at Kirk and then asks, "What do you think is fair punishment, Captain?"

Jim takes a breath and tries to relax his posture a bit and not appear quite so combative. "The shore leave I have before the Enterprise sets off. You can take that away. Send me back to New Vulcan or off to train cadets. I'll do community service picking litter off the streets if you think that'll humble me enough. Just don't punish a man who's going to be under my command for something he didn't do."

"What if I reassigned Khan to a different ship?" Admiral Archer asks, watching Kirk's face carefully.

Jim remains very, very carefully deadpan. "He won't trust the captain. They'll have a hell of a time handling him." 

"So, this Khan wants to serve and make-up for what he's done, but only on your terms..." Arches muses, not liking that answer much at all. "Perhaps that is the best solution, after all. We shall put Khan on another ship and see if he's willing to serve his probation with someone who's not Captain Kirk."

Jim has to bite hard at the inside of his cheek to keep from lashing out in anger. Anger won't get him anywhere. "Sir, it only makes sense that he trusts me. I worked with him for months bringing down those slave rings. He won't have that same rapport with another captain."

"You really are the pain in the ass Admiral Pike called you," Archer reflects with a deeper scowl. "All of your arguments come down to the same thing...Khan serving with you on the Enterprise."

"Because it safer for everyone involved!" Okay, Jim admits that he might have raised his voice a little there, but he lets out a breath and tones it down a bit. God, though, he wants to punch this old guy in the face. He doesn't have any right using Pike against him like that. "Admiral Pike was my mentor. He taught me that in order to be a good captain, I need a crew that trusts me to make the right decisions. Khan's going to be part of that crew. If you assign him to another captain, it'll be back to square one." 

"So, you taught him to trust you and then screwed both of yourselves over with your behavior," Archer says. "I don't really think that's the kind of example I want set for Mr. Singh, when and if he is released."

"Sir!" Jim protests, taken aback by Archer's stubborn nature. "Then at least restrict your punishment to me, not to him. Release him on time. Starfleet already lied about the terms of his rehabilitation by putting him in a maximum-security prison when it wasn't necessary." 

Archer's frown does waver a bit at that, since he agrees with that point. He understands why Komack did it, but the other Admiral clearly violated Starfleet's promise to Khan. And there was nobody outside of Captain Kirk who cared enough to try and point that out. "I admit you're right about that," he says slowly.

"So punish me, then," Jim says, trying to keep the pleading out of his voice. He doesn't want Khan to suffer for this. 

Archer thumbs over his bottom lip and then nods once to himself. "Captain James T. Kirk, your shore leave is hereby revoked, and you are ordered to report to Starfleet Academy in the morning to take up duties teaching Proper Command Chain to cadets. You will continue teaching this course and fulfilling your regular duties to prepare the Enterprise for her voyage. I am removing Khan Noonien Singh from your duty roster for the five-year mission and will be reassigning him to another post. You are no longer allowed to contact the prisoner for the duration of his imprisonment, nor are you allowed to contact him during his rehabilitation. Dr. Boyce will explain the situation to him in the course of his treatment, and I will assign him personally to his new station. Is that understood?"

Jim wants to protest. He wants to fight this with every fiber of his being, but he knows if he does, things will go very, very wrong for Khan. ...Fuck, not that they haven't already. 

"Yes, sir," Jim manages, voice steady despite the way he's trembling on the inside. Those two words are somehow the most painful he's ever spoken. He's failed Khan. "May I be dismissed?"

"You are dismissed, Captain," Archer says and then adds in a quieter voice, "I take no pleasure in this, Captain. But there are rules for a reason. People like Marcus decide one at a time which ones don't count for them anymore, until they turn out like he did."

Jim bristles, but says nothing. He simply cuts a sharp turn on his heel and marches out of Admiral Archer's office. 

When he tumbles into Bones' apartment in the middle of night, drunk and roughed up from picking fights, it's to latch onto the doctor and cry.


	25. Plotting...

Jim shows up to take over the Command Structures class two days later. He teaches the newest of the new about rank and responsibility, the duties they can expect at each level, and about the importance of chain of command. None of them know that this is a punishment for him. They're fresh-faced and bright-eyed, yearning for the stars, and so excited to be taught by a hero of the Federation. 

Jim doesn't feel like anybody's hero right now. 

In the afternoon, he makes his tour of the Enterprise's repairs, makes suggestions where appropriate, gives praise where it's due, but everything seems to come out a little hollow, a little devoid of the spark it used to have. 

And, in the evenings, when he aches to call his lover, tell him of what's to become of them, of how he's fucked up so badly; when he longs to tell him how sorry he is and he realizes he _can't_ , he tells the taxi driver to take him to the most out-of-the-way dive he knows of and he drowns himself in alcohol.

This becomes Jim's routine. 

Bones can't help but notice the deep wallow Jim falls into and does everything he can to help. Not that he can do much. What Jim needs is Khan, but the augment has been taken away from him. 

Bones can't help but think that's one of the stupidest things Starfleet could do. 

He does everything he can think of on a professional level, too, going so far as to call Dr. Boyce and practically beg him to try and change Archer's mind. Turns out, that's not far off from what the other doctor was contemplating anyway. Khan's not exactly taking the news well, and Dr. Boyce confesses that he thinks the only things preventing one massively pissed off augment from busting out of maximum security prison are his pleas for some patience and two cute little furballs.

So, one night, about two weeks before they're scheduled to leave on the Enterprise for five years, Bones meets Jim at the door with a hypospray full of alcohol neutralizer, two packed suitcases and weapons that make him feel very uncomfortable. But he presses ahead nonetheless.

"Fuck this, Jim. Let's break Khan out, steal a ship and hit the road."

Despite the sudden hypospray to the neck, Jim loves Bones for this. He really does. He grabs the doctor's face in his hands and butts their foreheads together, practically nuzzling at him. "I admire your enthusiasm. Not sure you've thought this out, though." 

Jim hauls Bones over to the couch and sits him down. "You know I'm a fan of winging it, but we have to have a plan for this. I need to secure a shuttle, find out what security measures the prison has in place, what their shift changes are like, the layout of guard stations and weapons bays... Not to mention a way to cover our trail and disable their pursuit." 

Bones looks at him and asks, "Well, what are you waiting for then? We've only got a few weeks left. I can't believe you haven't been doing this before! What was all that hooey you told me about not leaving Khan behind? Stop being melodramatic and start being proactive! Besides-" he huffs a loud breath "-once we get to Khan, I'm not that worried about the rest."

"Bones..." Jim bites at his lip. The brunet is right. He made a promise to Khan, and he's just been floundering this whole time, lost and directionless when he should have been making a plan. Good thing he's got a friend to kick him in the ass when he needs it. But, what comes out of Jim's mouth is: "I can't let you do this. I can't let you be involved."

"The hell you can't!" Bones shouts. "You think I want to go into the black without you? No more than you want to go without Khan. Not that I love you in a sexy way, fuck me, no, but still-"

"Khan would kill us both if I did that," Jim quips at the 'fuck me' comment, but then he sobers. "I'm serious, Bones. You've got it good here. You get to see Jo sometimes, you can heal people, you can bitch at Spock and play Poker with Scotty and Chekov and yell at Sulu for roughing himself up and then have civilized conversation with Uhura. Don't give that up for me."

Bones lifts an eyebrow, but the rest of his face remains deadly serious. "Now you listen to me and listen good, James Tiberius Kirk, when a McCoy makes a friend, he makes a friend for life. And when that friend needs help, really needs it, the last thing a McCoy does is not provide it. I'm not leaving you alone on this, Jim, no matter what you say. Now, what are we going to do?"

Jim locks eyes with him for a long, long moment, but Jim's also the first to break it. Bones has the stronger will here, apparently, so he sighs, both grateful and annoyed at the same time. Great, now they're two idiots who don't know what's good for them. 

"You look into getting us a ship. Khan and I brought one with us when we returned to Earth. It's fast and stealthy. It doesn't have an official name, but it's registration number is RL-482-7487. It probably got logged in Starfleet's system as that. If it's still in one piece and you think you can get it, go for it. If not, pick anything small and fast. We'll need warp."

Bones nods and mumbles the registration to himself a few times to be sure he remembers. "You know, Jim, I'm not forbidden from talking to Khan."

The blond licks at his lip, pondering that. "Then... Then let him know we're coming for him." 

Bones frowns and asks, "Is there some way I can relate that message without letting all of Starfleet in on the secret?"

Jim thinks on that for a bit and then nods. "Just let him know I'll keep my promise." 

Bones nods and says, "Good. Even I can't mess that up. I'm a doctor, not a spy."

"I don't know. You did pretty good with that decoding machine thing when the Doctor attacked," Jim remembers. Bones had been one of a very restricted number of people who'd gotten access to Starfleet's finest computing machine to help them solve the puzzle of an entity called the Doctor, who'd been killing people in San Francisco. It never really did get solved, but they did stop more people from being killed, and Bones had been a major part of that. 

Bones shudders and says, "We never did figure out who was responsible though, so I'm not counting that as a great success story."

"Yeah, but you helped keep it from killing more people. That's important." Jim shrugs, still counting it as a win. Well, not that people died in the first place, obviously -- and he'd found out afterwards he'd nearly lost Uhura to the damn thing. 

"Yeah," Bones mumbles and then gives Jim a weak grin. "So, what else do we have to do to make sure you keep your promise to Khan?"

"Well," Jim blows out a deep breath. "I've got a prison to case." 

"I don't think I want to know how you're going to do that," Bones says, "except that I need to know how to help you, if trouble happens. And trouble always happens."

"No, Bones. If trouble happens, you stay out of it," Jim replies firmly, still trying to keep his friend's risk down as much as possible. 

Bones stares at him a moment and then says, "Your other option is that if trouble happens, I'll go straight to Khan and tell him."

Jim laughs, though he's not really amused by anything. "I'm pretty sure that if I get caught doing something sneaky at the prison, Khan will be one of the first people to know."

"I think they'll keep it from him," Bones shoots back. "I sure as hell would. Why anger him? Keeping him in the dark might at least keep his temper at bay a bit longer."

"I'm pretty sure they'll try to get information out of him. I mean, who knows what crazy Starfleet secrets I might have told him, right?" Jim rolls his eyes. 

Bones frowns and says, "If they tried any of that, he'd be here now. He'd never betray you."

"I know he wouldn't, believe me." Jim's lips quirk up just a bit at the corner, though. "I'm glad you've got that kinda faith in him." 

"The only thing keeping him from tearing apart the whole world is you," Bones says. "He'll defend you and yours and everything else is fair game."

The blond's smile grows a little wider. "Which is why I'm gonna get my PADD and go for a little sightseeing trip."

"Just let me know when you should be back, and a few hours later, I'll start panicking," Bones says.

Jim snorts, rubbing at his neck where Bones had hit him with the hypospray. "You're always panicking. I'll meet you back here at...what time is it now? 2100ish? Okay, so I'll be back no later than 0200. And let's keep the suitcases by the door, just in case." 

"That's not a lot of time for me to find that ship," Bones grumbles, but doesn't argue otherwise.

"If you get in trouble or run late, just send me a message, okay?" Jim tugs Bones in for a quick hug and then heads for the door. "See you later!"  
``````````  
Bones returns from his search a lousy half hour before Jim was supposed to get back. He drags his tired ass to the shower and sonics off the dirt from his ultimately fruitful search for the ship Jim and Khan used to return to Earth. He blesses Starfleet for keeping everything and curses them for their blasted storage system. 

The ship, deemed evidence in Khan's trial, now sits in a large storage bay, full of other oddball ships collected by Starfleet during who knows what? Fortunately, the place is not considered much of a target for theft, so Bones managed to find his target relatively easily. Getting it out of there would be another matter. Jim would probably just shoot a hole in the roof....or fly right through it.

Bones sighs again, weary, but willing, drags on some comfortable clothes and heads to the front room in the hopes Jim might return on time.

Jim's not on time, though. He's a full hour late, but he does eventually show up, letting himself in to Bones' place and kicking his boots off so he can head straight for the couch. "My brain hurts. How'd your search go? Looks like you managed not to get arrested."

Bones puts down the PADD he holds, full of half-composed messages to Khan, and stands slowly. "You ass," he says and then stumbles over to hug his favorite idiot.

Jim's definitely not about to deny hugs. He wraps his arms tightly around Bones and just clings to him, truly glad that the doctor has come back in one piece. "Sorry I'm late."

"Was this close to setting a murderous superman free for you," Bones says. "Don't ever make me do that again." He points him to the shower. "Wash first. Have you eaten?"

"Yeah, that would've gone well. He'd have stomped all over the prison while I was in it," Jim replies, looking in the direction Bones points before lifting his arm to sniff himself. He's not that bad.... "Not since breakfast. You cooking?" he asks as he heads for the bathroom, already stripping out of his shirt. 

"Yes, we both should eat and have some coffee," Bones says. "Especially if we're going to be up all night working on this." He heads for the kitchen. "I have real food stocked up, too."

"You're awesome. I don't tell you that enough," Jim decides as he shuts the door behind him. The sound of the shower starting up follows soon after. 

Bones makes them both some steak and eggs, with vegetbles, of course, and has them ready by the time Jim emerges again. "Come in the kitchen when you're dressed. I have a steak for you." He knows that'll help move Jim faster.

"Ooh!" comes the squeak from the vicinity of the bathroom, and minutes later, Jim pokes his head into the kitchen, skittering over to see what delicious delights the good doctor has for him. "Steak? I love you."

"You don't, but you should," Bones says, serving his friend. "Please eat the damn vegetables, too." He plates his own and sits down at the table. "I found your ship."

Jim sits down and immediately starts carving into his steak, ignoring the vegetables for now. "No, see? You found the ship. I definitely love you."

"It's in a hangar full of all kinds of other ships that Starfleet's collected somehow, marked as evidence from Khan's trial," Bones says. "I think they have it tagged somehow, so we'll have to deal with that...and getting it out of the hangar."

"Shouldn't be too hard," Jim muses, nodding slowly. "At least we know where it is, and if that's where it's been sitting all this time, then it's not about to move before we have a chance to get Khan." 

"And if it does, there are tons of others to choose from...tons. I got some of their specs, just in case," Bones says. "The ones that have at least two cabins, by the way."

Jim's face blossoms in a grin. "If it didn't put you at risk for murder, I would kiss you." This is great news. Trust Bones to say he's not a spy and then go over and above. 

"You'd be equally at risk," Bones warns, but without heat. He's eating his vegetables first, though he gets a piece of two of steak in. "And what about your mission?"

"Got a bunch of information, actually. Enough to make a decent plan. I managed to hack into the less-secured parts of the prison's database and got a lot of information on shifts and layouts. I even know what they're serving for dinner tomorrow." Jim finally stabs a piece of broccoli and pops it into his mouth. 

"Did you check in on Khan while you were doing all the fact finding?" Bones asks, smiling as Jim eats one piece of vegetable. Small victories...

"I couldn't risk it." Jim lets out a sigh and reminds himself that he'll be seeing Khan soon enough. He just has to be patient. 

"He'll be fine soon," Bones assures him. "I just hope he waits for us." He finishes the first of his eggs. "So, when do we go get him?"

"Tomorrow night at 0130. Which, I guess technically makes it the day after tomor-- no. Today is tomorrow. It's too fucking early." Jim scrubs his hand over his face. "We'd better make sure we get some sleep after this." 

"Especially given what we're planning," Bones says and looks into space a moment. "Think it'll be all right for me to record something for Jo to leave behind?"

"Yeah, Bones. Do that." Jim knows the brunet will absolutely regret it if he doesn't. He feels absolutely terrible about taking Jo's daddy away from her, but this is Bones' decision and Jim tried to talk him out of it. So, he just takes their plates and goes to put them in the washer. It seems like a silly thing to do, given that it's not like it's going to matter, but it's nice doing something that makes it feel like everything's still okay. 

"Aren't you going to do the same?" Bones asks, watching him carefully. "For the crew of the Enterprise?"

"There's a timed message for Spock already. Wrote it while I was out," Jim replies, not looking over at Bones. It's going to hurt to leave them all behind. Jim knows he's going to have nightmares for a long time about not being there for them.

If Pike were alive, Jim would have begged him to take command of the Enterprise, but... he's not, and all Jim can do is hope that Spock will listen to his emotional side on the odd occasion and make the right decisions. 

Bones says, "Yeah, that's good. And to the rest of them, too? Or just the one for Spock?" He heads over to the side table to fetch the fudge cake he purchased for dessert from their favorite bakery. Tonight was a night for indulgence.

"Just for Spock." Jim wrote small notes to the others in his message to Spock and knows the Vulcan will relay them. The main point of his message, though, was for the Enterprise not to look for him or Bones. The other half was a lengthy apology for abandoning them. 

Jim's getting morose just thinking about it so he shakes his head to clear it and goes over to see what treat Bones brought. 

"You want a large slice, I hope," Bones says. "Lord knows I do." He cuts himself a huge piece and sets it on a cake. "I'm having it with ice cream and milk."

"This is way better than the 'I don't want to die a virgin' speech. Load me up with fudge and ice cream, Bones," Jim replies, an easy grin on his face. Somehow, Bones knows just how to make things better. Guess that's why the man's a doctor. 

Bones manages to refrain for several moments, before he sighs. "All right, tell me what the hell the virgin speech has to do with fudge cake." 

"Last night on Earth?" Jim asks, as if it should have been obvious. 

Bones snorts and says, "Well, the two of us are not exactly in the dying a virgin category, so that didn't exactly register." He cuts Jim a huge piece and adds ice cream to both plates. "I'm going to have milk. What about you?"

"I always did have a unique sense of humor." Jim shrugs a little, but there's still a bit of a smirk on his face. "And if you haven't had sex with me, Bones, you're still a virgin. Milk would be great." He snags their plates and takes them to the table so Bones can grab the milk. 

"Oh, the tragedy of my life," Bones says. "And I'm hoping everyone you haven't slept with to this point is going to remain a Kirk virgin." 

"Gonna have to. I'm taken now, aren't I?" Jim sniffs as if thinks that this is some great crime against humanity. He pokes his spoon into his fudge, taking a scoop of ice cream with it, and he pops it into his mouth, groaning as the flavor hits his tongue. "Oooh, good." 

"Better enjoy it while we got it," Bones says, digging into his. "Who knows what will pass for chocolate wherever we end up... does the ship have decent replicators?"

Jim squints at his friend before he smiles. "Yeah, it does. I already told you how we got it, right? The guy spent a fortune on it, so it makes better stuff than was on the Enterprise. Not as good as the real thing, but definitely livable." 

"Yeah, you've regaled me with all your tales," Bones says without any heat. Truthfully, he enjoys listening to Jim talk, including about his time with Khan. It's one of the ways he knows his best friend has fallen in love and grown up.

Jim falls into silence as he eats the rest of his fudge and his ice cream, and then he's completely full, and somehow feeling a little lighter for it. "That was good, Bones. Thanks." 

"No need to thank me, Jim," Bones says sincerely. "Luckiest thing that ever happened to me when I decided to join Starfleet was throwing up on you."

Jim's laugh sounds through the room. "Never been so glad to be vomited on in my life, I tell ya. So, have I got the couch, or what?"

"You want the couch?" Bones asks. "I'm willing to share the bed. Not like we haven't done it before. I trust you not to jump me, and I know you kick." 

The gasp Bones gets in response is scandalized. "I don't kick! Never! You've got the wrong guy." Still, Jim's already getting up to head for the bedroom. Better to sleep on a full stomach.

Bones rolls his eyes, since it's best not to sleep with so much in your stomach, but lets it go. They have a long day ahead and Jim willingly going to bed was a rare event. "Don't forget to put on something this time. I don't feel like waking up to your bare ass in my face again."

"Please," comes the reply from the bedroom. "My ass is glorious." Still, Jim leaves his boxers on when he crawls into the bed and he doesn't even bother to stifle his massive yawn. 

Jim even makes it all of three minutes before his whine drifts out to Bones. "Come keep me warm."

Bones snorts and says, "As long as you don't tell loverboy about this."

"Not keen on dying, thanks."

Bones freezes and says, "I'm not sure I want to keep you warm now. I think I'll stick to the couch, thank you."

"Noooo!" comes Jim's sad wail. "What if this is the last time I get to sleep-cuddle you?"

"Won't you have someone rather adequate to take my place?" Bones grumbles, headed for the bedroom anyway.

"Still not you. You're my best friend," Jim says as he spies the brunet in the doorway, and he opens his arms to welcome him. 

Bones snorts and wanders over to the bed, looking at his best friend for a moment, before shaking his head. "One minute, infant." He heads for the dresser to get some sleep pants and then ducks into the bathroom to wash and change.

Jim will hog a little more of the bed for every ten seconds he counts that Bones is gone, so he's sprawled half into Bones' turf by the time the brunet returns.

Bones says nothing, but shoves Jim out of the way, before climbing into the bed. He tugs up the covers, turns his back on the other man and says, "Night, Jim." And waits...

Jim promptly rolls right back over and clings to his friend, wanting that extra warmth. "G'night, Bones." 

Bones smiles and nudges back into Jim, letting him hold on as tight and near as he wants. "Sleep well, Jim. Dream of our escape."


	26. ...For Naught

The next evening, Jim has laid out their plan, and they've done all the prep work that they can do. He'd laid out a map of the prison for Bones on his PADD, making notes as he went, explaining how and where they would approach, the timing of the shift changes, what security would need to be disabled, and a whole slew of other things that he hopes Bones has absorbed. It's not like they've got time to go over things again. 

Jim hefts his pack over his shoulder, laden with guns, rope, explosives, and the other toys they'll need. He's dressed in dark blue to blend in with the shadows with a phaser secured to his hip, hidden under the jacket tied around his waist. It's part of a change of clothes for Khan so they're not smuggling a man dressed in bright orange. He takes one last look at his friend as they near the door. "Hey... this is your last chance to back out of this is you're not feeling sure." 

"Shut up," Bones snaps, trying to keep the fear from his voice, "and let's get this show started." His pack feels heavy, though he's carrying a lot less than Jim, damn his black heart. He does have a med kit filled to the brim with everything he might need to treat possible wounds, though his mind skitters away from the thought.

He'd taken a sedative the night before, wanting to make sure he got enough rest prior to this insanity. He'd dictated a message to Jo and even to Joce and left the PADD on his bed, hoping Starfleet doesn't take forever to deliver the notes. He hopes his daughter forgives him or understands at least a little bit. Friendships mean doing things that are hard because they're the right thing to do.

Heading for the door, Bones squares his shoulders and bumps lightly into Jim. "Let's go get your man."

And just then, the comm beeps.

Jim freezes and furrows his brows, looking at Bones in confusion and then down at his comm. He picks it up and flips it open, trying not to sound like he's been caught in the middle of something important. "Kirk here." 

"Captain Kirk, I'm sorry to call so early," Dr. Boyce's voice says over the comm, "but we need you to get down here immediately. I've gotten it cleared with Admiral Archer, and I'll explain more later, but Khan needs you, Captain. Right now."

Bones gives Jim a look that says, "Well, I'll be damned."

"I'm on my way, Dr. Boyce. Kirk out." Jim closes his communicator and stares dumbfounded at it for a moment. "So..... I guess I need to get changed again." 

Bones laughs, head thrown back in delight. "Talk about being saved by the bell," he says. "A few minutes later and we'd have been on our way with our communicators off." He keeps laughing with an edge of hysteria. "Fuck...all right, I'll take care of all this stuff. I'll leave it all packed, in case we still need it. Get back on your damned command gold and go find out if Boyce got the stick out of Archer's ass."

"Yeah, let's not get our hopes up too high, 'kay?" Jim's still tense. He's not sure what the hell is going on. All he knows is he won't be storming the prison tonight. Which means he'll need to remember to delay that message to Spock, or that could get very extremely awkward. He heads back into the bedroom to get changed into his regular pants and tunic, and then he's out the door. "See you soon. Hopefully." 

Bones salutes and says, "I'll be here, Jim."  
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Dr. Boyce waits at the main gates of the prison impatiently, hands behind his back as he paces. Ever sine Archer's decision to unilaterally punish Captain Kirk for his messages to Khan, the augment's state of mind and temper had steadily worsened. Only Boyce's assurances that he would take care of things kept Khan in place. And finally, after lying through his teeth about the purpose of those scrambled calls (he's not a fool, thank you), he'd convinced Archer to rescind his orders. Khan would be assigned to the Enterprise and have Kirk as a visitor and caller.

He's arranged for a private, unrecorded, meeting between the two men, as a show of good faith to Khan and Kirk. In the conjugal room, since that was the best room in the facility for such a meeting. Of course...

As Captain Kirk arrives, he raises a hand in greeting and heads for his side. "I'll explain everything later. For now, I'm taking you to Khan. I've put him in the most private room in the prison, and you'll have a few hours of unrecorded, unrestricted time together."

Whatever Jim has to say gets lost in Boyce's words. He snaps his jaw shut and gives Boyce a very, very confused look. All he can think is that maybe Khan is dying and that these are the last few moments Jim will have with him, that he was too late and Khan did something stupid and now Khan will have to pay the price for Jim's hesitation. 

Somehow, he manages to school his face back into controlled calm and nods, following Boyce through the halls of the prison without asking a signal question. He'll see the answer when he gets there. 

"I apologize for Admiral Archer," Dr Boyce says in a low tone, "since he'll never do it. He made a terrible error in judgement and a wrong-footed move... to Khan, especially. That wasn't justice for a man who had already been lied to by Starfleet." He stops in front of a solid door and looks to Kirk. "That Khan didn't tear this whole place apart when he found out shows that he deserves better. You damn well give it to him, Captain."

Jim lets out a breath. That apology and pseudo-explanation puts him at ease. Now he's at least fairly sure that Khan is absolutely fine and that maybe things will have worked out for the better for them for once. "I intend to, Doctor. Trust me on that," he replies, looking first at Boyce, then at the door. "Three hours, you said?"

"Three," Boyce agrees, although he'd meant two. He'll work it out with the guards. "He's not in there yet. He'll be escorted in after you, through the other side."

"Thank you. I appreciate this." Jim gives the man a fond smile and then he opens the door, steps inside, and settles in to wait. 

After a few moments, the opposite door opens, and Khan steps warily inside. He's not in a standard prison outfit, but wears a soft set of pants and shirt in light blue. His hair hangs longer than normal and is not as ruthlessly styled, making him appear younger and even a touch vulnerable, though his eyes at first glitter like two chips of ice. And then they soften, as they land on James and take him in. Three large strides across the room, and he lifts his lover into his arms. "James."

"Noonien," Jim greets him, face breaking into a bright, happy grin. He wraps himself around Khan as much as he can and pulls him in for a deep kiss, relieved to see him unharmed. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I never meant for Archer to go after you." 

"From what Dr. Boyce explained to me, it was not I he was after," Khan says, hands moving in opposite directions, one to cup the back of James' head and the other to palm his ass. He dots small kisses over the beloved face, taking his time with each movement. 

"Still, you're the one that suffered for it." Jim clings to him, arms winding tightly around Khan's waist, and tries valiantly to return every single one of those kisses. "Bones and I were gonna break you out tonight. It's a good thing Boyce called when he did." 

Khan's face went through a variety of expressions (surprise, pleasure, worry) and then settles on affectionate, as he kisses the perfect bow of James' mouth softly. "I would question the truth of that claim, but as it is you, I know you mean it. Thank you, James."

Jim trembles a little, relief finally flooding through him and making his limbs weak. "I told you I would if it came down to it, didn't I?" He presses their foreheads together. "You let your hair get long..."

"I have not been much myself for the past weeks," Khan admits, steadying his lover with gentle, but strong, hands. "I came a hair's breadth from breaking out myself, which would have done no good for either of us, but for Dr. Boyce. He swore he would work it out with the admiral and so he has."

"We owe him a lot," Jim agrees wholeheartedly. "He said we've got three hours in here alone. For just that, I could kiss him. Tongue and all." 

Khan makes a face at the notion, but asks in a low tone, "I don't suppose you could use that urge up on me instead?" He glances sideways at the bed. 

Jim follows his gaze and then looks back at Khan, the corner of his mouth twitching upward. "Are you all healed up?"

Khan mocks an offended expression and says, "Captain," with affront, before lifting James off his feet and carrying him to the bed. He tosses him playfully (and gently) on the mattress, before crawling on after him. "I should like mostly to hold you..."

Jim laughs when he's tossed on the bed, but Khan's next words make his eyes boggle a little. "We haven't had sex in something like half a year and you want to cuddle instead?" He whines pitifully and squirms, looking like he's undergoing some form of dramatic torture. "My cock's going to fall off!"

"I'm having a dramatic moment here," Khan says, "and you're trying to ruin it for me." He tucks James into his arms and begins kissing his face and neck softly.

"Baby, you're always having a dramatic moment. You'd have been good in theater," Jim coos, running his fingers through Khan's longer, wavier hair. It's a good look on him, Jim thinks. 

Khan growls low in his throat and says, "It's always a drama with you around," before rolling James on his back. He looms over him and presses along his full length, bearing him into the mattress. "So, you were forcibly parted from me and all you can think of right now is sex."

Jim furrows his brows and settles his hands against Khan's chest, trying to push him up a little. "No, that's not -- That's how I feel close to you, okay? What's wrong with that?"

Khan smiles and kisses him sweetly, showing him that he was kidding in his deadpan way. He traces his face with tender fingers and then parts their mouths. "When last we were together, I was not whole. I, too, should like very much to couple with you, James."

Jim's tension eases away with that kiss, and he might have even swooned a little. "I missed you so much," he admits, licking at his lower lip. "When I thought I wouldn't be able to see you again, I--" He cuts himself off so he can take a breath to steady his voice, and then he shakes his head. He doesn't want to finish that thought. 

Khan rolls to the side and pulls James with him, holding him close and tight. "My James." He kisses those glistening lips, sucking lightly on the lower one. "That would never happen. You were coming for me...or I was coming for you. I never doubted that, my own. Angry as I was, the idea that we could be kept apart forever never occurred to me."

The blond slides his hands up and under the back of his lover's shirt, just to be able to feel the warmth there, the smooth, healed skin. His eyes slide shut, and he draws Khan into a kiss, deep and lingering and full of affection. "You're braver than I am." 

Khan moves to shrug off the shirt, letting it fall to the ground beside the bed. "As you can feel, I am no longer crispy," he lightly teases. "And I long to feel your touch everywhere."

"Not crispy at all," Jim marvels and sets himself to task, kissing down along Khan's unmarred jaw to the frail tendons of his neck and then to the smooth planes of his chest. He just can't help himself: kisses turn to nibbles, and those turn to licks. Eventually, all he can do is mouth at Khan's bared skin, teasing every inch and leaving marks of his own.

Khan murmurs appreciation for James' actions, body stretching to give him more access. "You are very hungry, aren't you?" he marvels, mussing James' hair. "Feels so very good on my body." He angles to encourage James toward his nipples. 

"I haven't tasted you in a long time," Jim murmurs between messy kisses, but manages to take the clue anyway, coming up just enough to latch his mouth onto one of those sensitive nubs, teasing it with tongue as he suckles. 

Khan moans loudly, happy to express his pleasure in a way that allows James to know how well he appreciates the touches. His fingers curl and stroke through the softness of blonde strands, before he pushes James toward the other side.

So demanding, Jim thinks, but he doesn't really mind. It's easier if Khan says what he wants than if Jim has to guess, even if his guesses are usually pretty accurate. He moves over, giving attention to the other nipple, grazing it with his teeth. He doesn't leave the left one unattended for long, though. He pinches it between his thumb and forefinger, rolling it teasingly.

Khan's cock hardens rapidly, belying his earlier words about sex. He loves the way James lavishes his sensitive numbs with fingers and mouth, strumming his desire up and up. "I could come just from having you suck them," he murmurs, voice half-fractured.

"I know, baby. You have before. They're so sensitive." Jim wonders if Khan had never been augmented if his nipples would still be this sensitive, or if it's a trait of Augments. Either way, he's using it to his advantage, suckling and pinching each nipple in turn, making sure neither goes without proper attention. 

"But not this time, please, my James," Khan says. "I should like us both to be together this first time." He tugs James back up for a kiss.

"No complaints here." Jim moans into that kiss, grinding his own hardening cock down against Khan's. Even without the foreplay, just being in his lover's presence would have made him hard. 

Khan hums and palms James through the regulation pants, fingers busy and merciless. "You wish to make a mess of your lovely uniform, my James?"

"God, I wish, but I have to walk back out of here again and looking like you tore my clothes off of me with your teeth probably wouldn't go over well," Jim muses, voice thick with arousal as he tries not to devolve to nothing but whimpers. 

Khan chuckles richly and then eases away from James. "Allow me to undress you, my own. I should like to reveal your body inch by inch to my eyes and feast on each of them. Until you are bare for my worship."

Jim looks at him for a moment and then smiles. "This is why you have me beat in drama," he quips, but sprawls himself out willingly for his lover, completely submissive. 

Khan stares at him with a hint of haughtiness and then reaches down to slowly pull up James' tunic. He reveals a midriff and then traces over the strip of skin, including into the dip of navel. "I was trying for seductive," he says with a little bit of a pout.

"That, too," Jim concedes. He's more tanned than when Khan last saw his bared skin, the Vulcan summer having finally worked a bit of a tan into his pale hide. "You could say anything and be seductive." 

Khan thinks of some of their early encounters and privately doubts it, but keeps the thought off his face. He pushes James' tunic up further and slides his fingers further up, thumbing over James' nipples just once. "I love you," he purrs instead, hoping that works as well.

Jim purrs at that, wriggling a little and arching up against Khan's touch. "I love you, too." He smiles down at him, blissfully unaware of his lover's thoughts. 

Khan claims James' mouth for more tender sharing, enjoying the tangle their tongues soon become. He relishes the taste of his lover, denied him for too long. But soon, soon he shall have this man at his fingertips again, for good and all, if he has anything to say about it. Or do about it. And he is prepared to say and do much.

Jim moans into that kiss, sucking at Khan's tongue and biting at his lover's lips when the opportunity presents itself. Being this close to Khan, being able to smell him and taste him and touch him, has Jim's senses going into overdrive. Everything feels electrified, little sparks of pleasure to be had everywhere. 

Khan smiles as he moves away to attend to the final removal of James' tunic, tossing it with his own. "There, that is much better." His eyes flick to James' pants. "But I believe you are still a bit confined."

Jim sighs a breath of relief when his shirt flies off, seemingly of its own accord, and then looks down at his pants, where they're tented quite spectacularly. "Think you could help me with that a little, baby?" he coos, eyes pleading. 

"Only a little?" Khan asks, playing with the waist of James' pants. "That appears to need more than a little help, my James. Or am I wrong?"

"Well," Jim replies, considering, "if you do a lot of help, it'll probably blow up in your face." Then he grins like an idiot at his own joke. 

Khan raises both eyebrows and says, "Ordinarily, that would not be appealing..." He narrows his eyes at James and then bends in to rub his cheek against the bulge. "Perhaps I should keep the cover on for the explosion."

The blond whines at that, hips twitching upwards without his say-so. "N-no. Don't make me come in my pants. I'm gonna have to wear them after. Unless you're going to keep my underwear, in which case..."

Khan just runs his hands down James' legs and tugs off the boots and socks at the end of them with one smooth move. "I would not wish you to be uncomfortable, my James."

"You can steal some of my clothes anyway," Jim offers with a smile, wiggling his toes as they're allowed freedom. 

Khan grips those feet lightly, though only for a moment, knowing how sensitive they are. "Some garment you wore here?" he asks, intrigued.

"Yeah. Your pick. You can have anything except my pants or my gold tunic, obviously." But that would still leave Khan a few options. Okay, well, two options. He probably wouldn't want Jim's socks. The undershirt or boxers, though? Possibilities. Good thing they're absolutely fresh!

Khan laughs softly at the expression on James' face and tugs his pants carefully up and over his erection and then down his legs, tossing them with the rest of the clothes. "That rather reduces my choices."

Jim smirks when his cock is finally freed and it springs up into the air as if eager to greet Khan. "Tough. I gotta walk out of here with clothes on, so you'll have to make do." 

"You have no pity," Khan says and just looks over James' body with clear hunger. "I cannot fathom why I even socialize with such as you." His expression gives lie to his playful words.

"Definitely my body," Jim replies with confidence, taking a moment to gesture down at himself, as if to say 'look, see what I mean?'

Khan pauses in his attentions, as always sensing a little too much truth in the way James says that. "You are comely, my James, but that is the smallest reason I care for you."

"I know." Jim reaches up, letting his fingers brush over Khan's jaw, tracing upward until he can cup the Augment's cheek. "You're always very clear about that."

Khan turns his head to kiss over the soft fingers, before he takes an index finger in his mouth to suck on lightly. He tongue flicks a few times over the tip, before he releases the wet digit and comes closer. "And you do believe me."

Jim watches intently as Khan fellates his finger, those sinful lips doing sinful things. "Of course I believe you. You wouldn't lie about something like that, would ya?"

Khan melds their mouths together in answer, inviting James' tongue to play. He presses his still half-clothed body over James', rubbing their groins together.

Jim's more than willing to take up that invitation. He tangles their tongues together, eager to taste his lover, and while he distracts Khan with that, he lifts one leg to wrap it around the augment's hips, drawing him closer. 

Khan hums under his breath and ruts against his lover, enjoying the eroticism of rubbing his clothed lower half against James' nude one. He continues the kiss, licking over James' mouth with a contented rumble. When their mouths part, he says, "I seem to be a bit too clothed."

Jim sucks in a breath through his nose, glancing down at where their bodies are joined. "I'm just glad you're wearing soft pants. Nakedness is still preferred, though."

"Indeed?" Khan asks, all innocence and then raises himself to his knees. "Well, if that be the case." He slides off the bed and shimmies playfully out of his pants.

Those blue eyes of Jim's never leave Khan as the Augment undresses, and Jim's tongue darts out to wet his lips. "Fuck, you're gorgeous." It's so, so nice to see that all the burns are gone, replaced with smooth, beautiful skin. 

"I am worth looking over again," Khan says and straddles James' hips, gazing down at him with gleaming eyes. "Though your caring for me when I was injured was something I much approve of."

"Are you gonna keep your longer hair?" Jim asks, playing with the slight curls. They're so interesting to them. Khan always had them brushed back and tamed, but now they're a little wild. 

"You like the way I look?" Khan asks, enjoying the hand in his hair. "Less your Starfleet's regulations, there is no reason for me to keep my hair short now." 

"I always like the way you look. I just didn't know you had curls." Jim smiles up at him and pulls him down to smear their lips together in a messy kiss. 

Khan shifts to more firmly press their groins together, even as he soften the kiss to something more tender. He rolls them both to their sides to more fully entangle their bodies, legs entwined, as well as their arms. 

Jim mewls, a little desperate to feel every inch of Khan, impatient as he is. He goes with that roll and pushes it further so that he ends up on top, instead, and he straddles his lover's thighs with a grin. "I could ride you..." 

Khan pets James' ass with a gentle hand and then slides a finger between his cheeks to fondle the pretty hole. "You need to work off a little of that energy, do you not?" 

The blond outright moans at the touch, wriggling his hips down against that hand, cheeks already flushing with want. "What energy? I'm as calm as calm gets." 

"Of course you are, my James," Khan says with a smirk and then reaches for the nightstand, which is stocked for the occasion. "Sit up and let me prepare you."

"Sitting on you doesn't count?" Jim pouts a little, but doesn't really mean it. Instead, he turns around, still straddling Khan's hips, but with his ass on full display for the Augment. He lowers his front end down, pillowing his head on Khan's calf. "How's this?"

Khan pets James' ass a few times and then pulls up to bite one cheek sharply.

Jim sucks in a breath of surprise and lets it out in a low hiss, twisting enough to look back at Khan. He knows that will leave a mark, and he loves it. 

Khan kisses the mark as tenderly and says, "This is very well-shaped. Firm muscled, yet soft skinned." He opens the tube of lubricant, wishing for the luxuries of their former ship, but willing to make do. Besides, James was a luxury in and of himself. "Be still now and let me have you."

"You sound like you're talking about a fruit," Jim quips, picturing Khan as an ass gourmand. He nearly laughs out loud at the thought, but manages to reign himself in just in time by biting the inside of his cheek. 

Khan brings his hand down on James' ass with a sharp slap.

"Ow!" The blond jerks forward a little, ass stinging from the hit, and he growls low in his throat. "Don't abuse the goods!" Though, he can't exactly hide the way his cock swells a little. 

"You always joke about everything," Khan says softly and trails his fingers over the curve of his ass. "I should not compliment you at all."

Jim frowns a little. "I'm sorry. I'm not good at taking compliments. You know that." 

Khan pushes James to land on the mattress and then moves to align them again, so he can kiss his lover. "I do not understand, but I know."

Jim traps Khan's lip with his teeth, tugging and biting lightly before he releases it. "I just don't know what to do with them."

Khan nuzzles James' face and says softly, "Do not belittle them, my James. I know that is difficult for you, but when you make light of them, you make light of my feelings."

"I'm sorry. I'll just keep quiet." Jim really doesn't mean to ruin things. He deals better with fake flattery, when he can just throw his ego up as a shield. But to have somebody say things and truly mean them, even after more than a year, is still foreign. He'll get used to them one day. 

Khan frowns and thumbs over James' lower lip gently. "I do not wish you to be silent, my James. I did not mean to hurt you." He kisses over each of his eyelids sweetly. 

Jim shakes his head in response. "You didn't hurt me." He's thoroughly willing to accept those kisses, anyway.

"Would you like me to try not to compliment you so freely?" Khan asks softly. "I do not mean to cause discomfort." 

"No." Jim presses their foreheads together, nuzzling his lover apologetically. "Don't change anything. I'm the one with the problem. I'll get it worked out." 

Khan grumbles a little and slides James closer to him, holding tight. "My only complaint, my James, is that you are not used to being complimented." 

"Not genuinely." At least, between Khan and his crew, he's slowly, slowly getting better at accepting them. Slowly. He still doubts himself more than he should. 

"Then I shall continue to lavish you with the praise you deserve, and I cannot help anyway," Khan murmurs. "And not take any mind when you do not always respond as I expect."

Jim closes his eyes and presses closer, trying to invade every last inch of Khan's personal space. "We'll have plenty of time together to get it right." 

"And soon," Khan agrees softly. "If Admiral Archer does not change his mind yet again." He frowns, wondering about the old admiral who had so upset everything.

"As long as he holds fast for a week and a half or so, we'll be on the ship and out to the other end of the Alpha Quadrant. He can't throw his whims at us there." Technically, Archer could, but so far away from Earth, who would enforce it? 

"A week and a half," Khan says and then snorts at James. "I can scarcely believe I put up with this for so long." He smooths his hands over James' sides. "Or perhaps I can."

"Baby, just think. You'll be out of here soon, and it'll be me and you and the stars." Jim smiles so brightly at that. It's what he's wanted so badly for this past year, and it's finally within his grasp. 

"With your crew and Gray Lady," Khan says and then nips James' nose lightly. "You will be insufferable. I can already picture."

The blond absolutely beams. "You have no idea." And then he bites at Khan's lip with a hungry sort of glee. 

"Oh, I have some small inkling," Khan counters and kisses James silent. He has not forgotten where they were heading and hopes that James is willing, as well. One hand creeps back toward the plushness of James' ass.

Jim is definitely still willing and actively encourages that touch by pushing back into it. He would make a remark, but it's hard to talk when his lover is stealing all of his breath with kisses. 

Khan smiles and says, "I am almost contented enough not to mind that we are literally having a conjugal visit."

Jim snorts out a laugh. "Why would you mind? It's sex. Even when it's bad, it's still pretty good." 

"Forgive me, my James, but in this case, we are going where many have gone before," Khan deadpans.

"Is that a problem?" Jim asks, brow crinkling. 

"That is just the thing, my James, with you, I find it is not," Khan says and rolls them back so he is on top. He kisses the tempting mouth briefly and says, "I shall undoubtedly embarrass you and myself by continuing to say sloppy things about you, my James. I ask forgiveness."

"Nothing to forgive," the blond replies simply, trailing his fingers up from Khan's knees to his hips, rubbing small circles against the soft skin covering his iliac crests. "I like it when you say things like that. I do."

Khan retrieves the lubricant, which had been indelicately tossed aside before. "Allow me then to treat your properly. Stay as you are for me." He slicks a single finger and rubs teasingly over James' entrance.

"I'll try." Jim's eyes flutter close,d and he breaths out a sigh halfway between needy and relieved. Now that Khan is touching him like this, his cock is quick to wake back up.

Khan slides the very tip inside and tests the muscles. "You are very tight, my James. And warm. Shall I show you how my strength can work in this?"

The blond bites back a whimper and manages to keep himself still, though it's a fight to do so. "Yeah... Please. Please do." 

Khan kisses his ear and murmurs, "I shall indeed." He uses the enhanced strength to pry James open, enough so he can feel the stretch from just the one finger. "Imagine what I am capable of."

Jim grunts at the slight burn, but it mellows out into a quiet moan, a tentative plea for more. Just one finger is far from enough. 

Khan spreads more lubricant on his fingers and slides a second in without any warning. He spreads them wide to push open the muscle, using care to be on the right side of painful. "How do you want to be?" he rumbles. "On your back? On your front? On your side?"

Jim's cry echoes in the room, but it's all pleasure. He wants Khan so badly that every touch burns against his skin and makes him quiver. "I'm yours. Any way you want me," the blond whispers, voice wavering slightly. He's decided that he wants to give himself over completely and not push or rush things. At the very least, he'll give it a good go. 

"Your side, my James," Khan says softly. "I want to have you pressed close." He eases his fingers out and then moves to his own side, pulling his lover with him. "Like this." He mouths at the nape of James' neck and then bites more seriously at the site of his old mark, waiting for James' permission. 

Jim rolls over eagerly, pressing his back against Khan's chest, taking a moment just to enjoy the feeling of having that strong body pressed against his with no clothes in the way. Then he tips his head forward in that same, silent permission he's given before. He wants that mark. He always does. It's like a drug, addicting him to Khan over and over again. 

Khan continues to mouth tenderly at the spot of his former mark, before he bites down hard. He sucks up his claim, eyes shutting in pure pleasure at the act. His arms tighten around James, tugging him as close as physically possible.

The only complaint at the sudden pain is a quiet hiss and a slight tension in Jim's shoulders, but then it all ebbs out until the blond is mewling and rubbing back against his lover. Jim swears there's some sort of hormones or something that pass into him when Khan bites him like that. Nothing else explains how much he likes this. 

Khan growls in response to the mewling noise and lifts a hand to pinch both of his nipples. The other hand finds the lubricant again and squeezes out enough to make his erection nice and slick. He releases James' nape carefully and then lines himself up to press in. "Be easy, my James."

Jim shudders in anticipation when he hears the lid of the lube pop open. Although he can't see it, he knows what's going on and he wants this so badly that he automatically lifts his leg, spreading his cheeks apart for Khan. Still, two fingers hasn't fully prepared him for when Khan's thick cock slides into him. He moans loudly, a tinge of pain coloring it, but he still forces himself to relax and not tighten around him. "Fuck... So big."

Khan does not like the pained sound and slows his pace inside his lover. He licks at the mark on James' neck, knowing how much James enjoys the anything related to that mark. "I should have gone easier," he apologizes. "It has been a long time for your body."

"It's okay. It's okay. I want this." Jim pushes back against Khan, just to prove that he's alright. Sure, it's a little sore and he knows his ass is going to hate him after, but he wants this. He wants Khan any way he can get him. 

Khan strokes down Jame's exposed side and lifts his top leg just a bit more, pulling it back. He tenderly caresses the sensitive inner thigh, fingers knowing just what makes James shiver. And he allows James the push back, but refuses to go faster himself. "Slow," he reminds gently.

Jim definitely does quiver a little under Khan's knowing ministrations. The Augment can play him like a fiddle, stroking in all the right places to make him moan in satisfaction. "Slow," Jim repeats, letting out a lengthy exhale as he tries to calm himself. Patience has never been his strong suit. 

Khan murmurs soothingly in his ear and tugs him impossibly closer with an arm around his middle. "You are, as ever, my perfect match," he murmurs and then pauses, remembering how James responded to his last compliments. He refrains from more and pushes the last inch or so into the warm refuge of James' ass. 

Jim might not make a verbal reply to that, but although he casts his eyes away, there's a small smile on his lips, a little shy. It's quickly wiped away by the sudden new influx of cock and Jim moans, finally clenching down around his lover, even if that makes things a little too tight. 

Khan hisses at the increased tightness and lifts his head a little to look at James' expression. What he sees there soothes him, and he bites languidly at his ear. His hips stutter a little, demonstrating the desire to thrust and claim. The hand on James thigh drops to nudge at the heavy sack beneath his cock. "Someday soon, my James, I will make good on my promise to drain this dry in one prolonged encounter." 

Jim quietly huffs, both amused and aroused by the idea. He's definitely looking forward to that and he purrs out his approval, interrupted by a hiss when Khan's teeth tug at the shell of his ear. "I'll hold you to that, just so you know," he murmurs, voice low. 

"You will require much in the way of aftercare, as well," Khan rumbles. "As I do not mean to make everything too easy." He rubs their cheeks together, enjoying the slight rough of stubble against his soft skin.

"You know I like a challenge," Jim counters, the tiniest of smirks appearing on his lips. "You'd be doing us both a disservice if you took it easy on me." His hand wanders up, cupping Khan's cheek to press them closer together, and he prolongs that nuzzling for as long as he can. He likes being pressed that close to his lover, cheek to cheek and so near that he can hear Khan's every breath. 

Khan basks in the physical proximity, too, thinking in some ways, this is his favorite position. Thrusting in and out is harder from the side, but the sheer closeness makes that a petty complaint. Besides- his hips lazily pick up a rhythm- augmentation makes it a lot less difficult. "I would not wish to do you a disservice, my James."

Jim is surprisingly okay with this lazy sex. He lifts his leg a little more, reaching out and hooking his hand around his knee to pull himself open, giving in completely. He's not usually passive during sex, but right now, he's just focusing on the slick feel of that cock sliding in and out, in and out. "Mm," is all he can manage to say in reply. 

Khan replies with his own hum, a warmth suffusing him that has only to do with the sex in that James is giving him what he's asked. He's allowing slow and gentle without the normal demands for more and faster and now. The hypnotic rocking of their bodies together, James' accepting Khan's a little deeper each time, loosening just that bit more for him, all of that makes Khan at ease while he enjoys reclaiming his lover. 

Even if it's slow, it's still good. Jim doesn't understand it, but maybe it's got to do with just being connected, just having his lover inside him. They've got a couple hours, so there's no rush, and maybe if Jim lets Khan set the pace for once, he'll finally understand that 'slow burn' Bones says he prefers on the rare times they get drunk enough to actually discuss sex. 

Khan laces their fingers together, where James holds himself open and uses his easy strength to help him. He knows this might last their few hours, if James allows, and does not want something as small as a cramp in James' arm or leg to stop it. He seeks out the mark on James' nape again worries at it with his teeth, widening and darkening the spot into something more permanent again.

The aid is certainly a relief to Jim, so he lets Khan do all the work and simply tries to make sure he doesn't fall apart any time soon. The teeth at his neck aren't helping, but he sure as hell isn't going to ask Khan to stop. It makes heat pool in his belly and his skin flush and his heart pound a little louder in his ears. Jim wonders if sex is supposed to be this confusing mix of relaxing and exciting. 

"This is what I wanted," Khan purrs, low in his throat, and sucks harder at his skin. "You letting me keep you this close, indulging me." He seeks out the warmth and softness of Jim's lips for a kiss, trying to set his head spinning;

"It's an early present," Jim murmurs against his lover's mouth before he lets Khan completely steal his breath away. He knows his lips are going to be swollen and red from all this kissing, but it feels too good. At least he can return the favor. 

"I am not normally superstitious, but shall not ask you what the present is for," Khan says with a soft laugh, nibbling at Jim's ear tenderly. "In this case, I am taking no chances."

"It's not like you're gonna jinx it. There's only so far I can go when you've got me around the waist and your cock is anchoring me in place." Jim shifts a little, as if demonstrating the strength of Khan's hold. 

Khan snorts and refrains from saying that was not the event he meant. However, his hold tightens on James, as if warning him not to try and go anywhere. He pushes himself a little to thrust just that much harder into James' prostate for a moment and then tapers off again, teasing.

The blond lets out a quiet, choked moan at that, the sudden shock of pleasure making his spine temporarily liquefy. "F-fucking hell," he murmurs, eyes fluttering closed. No, he's definitely not going anywhere. 

"Not a nice way to compliment my technique," Khan mock scolds and retorts with another firm thrust into his prostate. He then gentles and takes him time more leisurely claiming James' body again. One hand sneaks around to test how close his lover is.

Jim's cock is leaking steadily, precome dribbling from the tip down to the sheets below, and the very barest of touches makes him whimper and whine, trembling like he's been caught in a storm. "Don't tease..." Jim knows he can last if Khan doesn't touch him, but if he does, then Jim's not sure how long he'll last at all. 

"Would you like to come and then harden again while I continue to take you?" Khan asks, lightly gather some of the leakage from James' stomach and licking it off his fingers.

"If you don't mind giving me a minute to recover..." Jim arches his back to press against Khan's finger, a little disappointed when it leaves all-too-soon. 

"A minute?" Khan asks. "You overrate your stamina, while underestimating mine." But there is nothing but loving amusement in his tone. He takes James tenderly in hand to work his orgasm out of him by knowing strokes.

"Don't be an assho--ah." Jim's little rant gets cut short by Khan's talented hand. He reduces the blond into a mewling, needy thing, humping the Augment's hand desperately until he comes all over himself with loud, wanton moans. 

Khan stills to allow James to wiggle and thrash a bit on his cock, enjoying the way he clamped tight on orgasm. He bites into that tender neck, refusing to release even with the extreme pleasure that coursed through him. And the mess...Khan loves that even more, smoothing it into James' belly.

Jim eventually goes still, exhausted, chest heaving. He's in a daze, his heart pounding in his ear and his vision wavering with his pulse. "Wow."

Khan smiles at the one word of praise and angles to kiss James' slack mouth and then nuzzle his cheek. "That is a splendid word for our chemistry."

Jim lets out a deep sigh of contentment that finally eases his labored breathing. "Kinda is, isn't it?" Though, Jim does wonder if he should be looking for where his skeleton has gone. It seems to have left his body, which is making it really hard to move. 

Khan ceases his own movements for the time and just enjoys being so close in every way to his lover. He caresses all the warm skin at his fingertips, which means fondling most of James' spent body. And he delights in the contact, especially since his normally active and demanding James is relaxed and spent against him. "You are like silk."

"Yeah?" Jim asks quietly, pleased by the compliment, even if it turns him a little red. The other half of that blush is caused by the gentle hands stroking all over him. He even manages to keep his humorous quip to himself.

Khan smiles and says, "Very soft skin, everywhere." He trails the loving hand to his right inner thigh, gliding over the sensitive area knowingly. 

Jim sucks in a breath and twitches his leg open a little wider. "I'm covered in scars. Can't really say it's all smooth." At least his thighs are pretty much scar-free.

Khan growls, the sound deep and protective, and says, "I would smite all who caused those wounds."

"I know. You already kinda promised to hunt him down." Jim's not sure he's keen on that idea still, but he doesn't know if he's thrilled about Kodos still being out there somewhere, either. 

Khan's heart makes a dull thump in his ribs. "My James, when and if you are ever ready for that day, you shall not do it alone."

The blond tips his head back to press his cheek against Khan's. "You wouldn't let him anywhere near me, anyway, right?" 

"Not unless you wanted to be the one to take him in yourself," Khan says, rubbing their cheeks together. "If that were the case, I would not leave your side for an instant."

"Don't know if I have the courage for that," Jim admits. That's a fucking scary prospect. Facing Kodos again... it's literally like facing the monster from his childhood nightmares. 

"I shall be here, if you change your mind," Khan says, tone implying that he believed James would find the courage one day.

Jim sighs, pressing a little more tightly against Khan. "Can we talk about something else?" Or not talk at all, even?

Khan sighs and nods, pressing a kiss to James' nape. But the mood is broken, and he does not try to bring it back, just cuddling his lover closer. He would voice an apology, but it was James who brought up the subject. Or perhaps it was his fault for giving in to his voice again... sometimes, trying to suss out how to deal with James makes his augmented brain swim.

"I ruined things, didn't I," Jim says quietly. It's definitely not a question. He really didn't mean to bring the mood down. 

Khan makes a dismissive noise and says, "James, I am more than pleased just to hold you like this. The rest is...a bonus."

Jim shakes his head and wriggles his hips against Khan so that his lover's cock shifts inside him. "You didn't come." 

Khan hisses a little at the stimulation and then says, "No. I did not. Are you sore?"

"Don't worry about that. I want you to feel good." The blond pushes back against him again, slowly rocking his hips back against Khan.

Khan growls, low and deep, at the way James moves again. He does not really think that his lover wants anymore, but at the same time, he know how much James hurts when their exchanges are not even. So, he slowly picks back up the rhythm, allowing the pleasure.

Jim just wants to make Khan feel good again and to distract him from the sudden melancholy. Sex is the best way to do it. He moans quietly, trying to encourage his lover to take what he wants. Jim owes him that much, at least. 

"My James," Khan murmurs into his neck and then wraps a strong arm around his waist. He picks up the pace, thrusting a bit deeper into his lover. This is not, again, exactly what he had hoped, but he did not lie when he said just being with James was enough to make him content. This is just an added pleasure.

Jim begins to relax again, closing his eyes to focus on Khan, on how they're joined, on everything that makes this good. It's not that difficult; nobody has ever made him feel like Khan does.

Khan feels the same way about James, that all his prior encounters were but poor shadows of the reality of what sex should be like. What actually sharing with a partner who loved you was like... Not a sentiment to share aloud, but one to feel deeply nonetheless. He feels James relax and kisses his nape. "May I touch you some more or are you sensitive still?"

Jim purrs quietly, liking that kiss, and reaches his hand up and back to curl his fingers into Khan's hair and massage at his lover's scalp. "You can touch."

Khan trails a finger over the underside of James' cock, seeing if there was any signs of hardening again. He forces himself to slow his hips yet again, savoring the warm, slick channel. "May I continue to enjoy your body yet awhile longer?" he asks, not wanting to hurt his lover.

Jim's cock gives an interested twitch when Khan teases it like that and it makes the blond let out a breathy sigh. "Yeah, baby. Of course you can." He even spreads his legs a bit wider, opening himself right up for Khan in invitation.

Khan hums, impressed bu the flexibility and says, "Be easy with yourself, my James. Your limbs were not meant to bend too far."

"It's okay if you're supporting me," Jim murmurs in response. "It doesn't burn."

Khan slides his hand along the leg James scoots higher on his hip and does, indeed, support it tenderly. He bites into James' neck, shuts his eyes and moves in the rhythm that allows him best to be lost in the pleasure of joining his lover physically. His other hand continues to just barely stimulate James' cock, coaxing him into hardness with hips than fingers.

It won't take long for Khan to make Jim fully hard again. The Augment is masterful at turning Jim into a needy mess, and the blond is absolutely powerless to resist. He rolls his hips in time with his lover's thrusts and moans encouragingly every time the brunet's teeth sink into his neck. "Noonien..."

"Yes," Khan answers and takes his lover firmly in hand, stroking him fiercely in a grip that he can also thrust into. But Khan does most of the thrusting now, moving forcefully enough to take James' entire body with him and thus, into that encircling hand. And as his orgasm builds along to a fever pitch, he snarls James' name and clamps down on his neck, claim well staked.

"Fuck!" the blond cries out, overwhelmed by the dual sensations of fucking and being fucked. Khan's hand is large and soft, perfect for Jim to thrust into. It's almost too good. He's already so hard again that he almost doesn't even know what to do with himself.

Khan lasts a few more thrusts and then almost floods James with a release that was far too long in coming, given his state of health the last time James visited. And he had gone without since, not liking furtive, lonely releases. Consequently, he is primed for explosion and James is on the receiving end.

That works a groan out of Jim and he clamps down around Khan's cock to keep all of that semen inside, though for all his efforts, there's too much of it and it ends up leaking out of him, anyway. "Holy shit. You didn't jerk off at all while I was gone, did you?"

Through the intensity of pleasure, Khan feels no small amount of amusement at how his lover manages ever to be completely inappropriate to the moment. He feels a surge of love equally as strong that hopes he stays such for all his days. "You know I do not," he growls against James' wet neck. 

"S'kinda sexy," Jim admits, idly fucking himself on Khan's spent cock. 

Khan snarls even deeper at the overstimulation and pulls out, not quite as carefully as he might, since the passage is so slick he barely exerts any force at all to do so. And his seed spills out after him, too much for James' poor ass to keep. He squeezes the base of James' cock, though, to keep him from his own orgasm.

Jim whimpers a little and flinches when he's suddenly empty and dripping, cock aching right along with his ass. "N-not fair." 

Khan scoots away, releasing James' leg and tugging him to fall naturally on his back. He finds his knees, the aftershocks of pleasure still making him a little shaky (though damned if he'll show it)), an looks into James' face for a moment. And then he smiles, all teeth, dips gracefully and swallows almost all of James' cock. Almost all because his hand still blocks release, even as he pleasures him incessantly with tongue and teeth and deep, sucking pulls.

"What are you doing?" Jim asks at first, completely unable to figure out what Khan's up to, until his cock is suddenly swallowed down by a sinful mouth that makes Jim's back arch up until he fears his spine is going to snap. "Fuck! Fuck, Noonien!" he yells, torn between pleasure and pain. It feels like Khan is sucking his brain out of his cock, but he also _really_ needs to come.

Khan hears a sound near enough to discomfort that he release the base of James' cock and allows his mouth to truly try and get the release out of him.

Thank whatever gods are responsible for orgasms. Jim finally gets to come and does so straight into his lover's mouth, hips bucking up with the force of his release. His head snaps back into the mattress with a dull thud. He whimpers and mewls, gasping in between, until he's completely spent and sinks back into the bed.

Khan drinks down this second release with a great deal of smug pleasure. His James is a spent mess on the bed, all sprawled limbs and damp, musky skin. He lowers his head to deeply inhale the scent of family and love and home. And then kisses over his bellybutton, before his tongue sweeps up some of the mess there from earlier. He doesn't stop the soft licks, trailing down to warm thighs and then reaching to spread his cheeks, question in the move.

Jim's not of the mind to protest anything right now. After such a powerful second orgasm, he needs a minute just to remember his own name, never mind how to spell if. Khan gets a quiet grunt in response to that careful prodding, but Jim's still too dazed to speak. 

Khan eases aside James' legs and rolls him a little up to see the pretty pink hole, still slightly gaping, that he was just inside. There is seed still trickling from the muscle, and Khan's tongue flicks over his lips, before loving forward to lovingly clean the area.

Jim trembles a little, tired muscles being forced into strenuous positions, but relaxes and lets Khan lick him anywhere he wants. And it's definitely not like he wants to walk out of here with come all over his thighs, so it's a nice little bonus. He'll be half-asleep after a few minutes of that loving treatment. 

Khan does not get every bit, liking that there is still some of him inside James and even dripping out now and then. He just wants some of that flavor for his own, as well as to spread his own scent on his lover. A claim nobody else would be able to detect, but Khan would know was there.  
He finishes and then moves to lie next to his lover, pulling him close. "My James," he whispers tenderly.

"I think I'm dead," Jim finally murmurs, voice barely above a whisper, eyes closed and breathing deep. "I can't move and my eyes don't want to open." 

"We have a little over an hour left for you to nap," Khan says tenderly. "I shall wake you in time to dress and be ready for the guards." He nuzzles into his hair. "I am so glad you are here, my James."

The blond whines quietly. "I don't want to nap." He manages to crack an eye open and shift himself closer to his lover. "I want to be awake with you..."

Khan gathers him close and strokes his back, hands warm and tender. "You are here with me," he whispers, "and I am so grateful. There is nothing more I need. But if you wish to stay awake, what shall we talk about?

"Apple trees," comes the muffled reply as Jim buries his face against Khan's shoulder to stifle a yawn. "I really want an apple tree." Although it's true, it's mostly sleepy nonsense. He can't grow an apple tree on the Enterprise. 

Khan chuckles and says, "There is an arboretum on your ship. Perhaps we can plant a tree together there. Your favorite variety of apple tree." He presses a soft kiss to James' forehead. Right now, when his lover is sleepy and pliant after their lovemaking, Khan suspects he loves him best. When there are no walls and the most nonsensical things spill from his mouth.

"Sulu's hand plant will pick all the apples and I won't get any," Jim slurs, eyelashes fluttering against Khan's skin. He snuggles closer, soaking up all the warmth the Augment has to give. 

"We'll just have to gaurd your tree," Khan says reasonably, wondering what in the world a hand plant is...if it even is something. In these times, one could never tell.

"From Beauregertrude," Jim agrees. Given that nobody could really agree on whether the plant was named Beauregard or Gertrude, Jim has diplomatically decided to call it both at the same time. "She purrs."

"Beauregertrude purrs?" Khan asks, confused by the notion of a purring plant. 

Jim nods once, and then apparently thinks that maybe he should do it again, just to make sure.. "Yeah. You'd have to ask Sulu. Some'in about vibrating hairs." 

"Well, we shall place your apple tree far from this thieving, purring plant, apparently named Beauregertrude," Khan says decisively. "And then you shall have all of the apples you wish."

"Mm'kay. This is a good plan. I'm glad you thought of it." Apparently, that's the last of Jim's ability to think, since he falls asleep after. He dreams of apple orchards and pink weeds. 

Khan stays awake and keeps track of time, though he does so peripherally to enjoying the presence of James. And when there is about twenty minutes left before they will be rudely interrupted, he gently shakes his lover awake. "James."

Jim stirs a little, but fights the command to wake. He doesn't want to. He's too sleepy still. 

"James," Khan says again and bites into the flesh of his neck tenderly, trying to wake him that way.

"Uh." Jim grunts quietly, but does slowly come to, yawning and rubbing at his face to try to rouse himself further. 

"We have but a short time before the guards shall return for me, my James," Khan says. "And we must be ready to greet them. Roust yourself."

"Fuck," the blond murmurs, but he rolls out of the bed anyway, though that comes with a sharp intake of breath. Goddamn, his ass is sore. 

"I hurt you," Khan says, contriteness in his tone. "I was not careful enough with you so long our of practice."

"No, it's okay. I'm fine." At least it serves as a wake-up call, Jim thinks. He rubs at his lower back and then goes in search of his clothing. 

Khan dresses and straightens the bed to immaculate form, before turning to watch his James. "Do you know what shall happen next?"

Jim looks over at him as he tugs his boxers on. "Yeah, you pick what one of these things I'm not takin' back with me." He didn't forget his offer. 

"I believe you just put on one of the items on offer and the other two are not very appealing," Khan says, looking at the discarded socks.

"Well, if you want my boxers that badly... The other option was my undershirt." Jim shrugs. 

Khan laughs and moves to pull James into a kiss, before claiming the undershirt with a sweep of his arm. "Then the shirt I shall have."

"Good. That, I can live without." Jim slips into his pants, then his tunic, followed by socks and boots. He gestures at himself with a sweep of his arms. "Presentable?"

Khan reached up and straightened James' hair and then lifts him literally off his feet and into a kiss, even though their heights are comparable. "Now you are."

That makes the blond grin, even as he wraps himself around Khan and hangs on like a koala. "I'm glad I've got you here to make sure I don't make a fool of myself." 

"You're my fool solely," Khan agrees and holds James up easily. "Will you be speaking to Dr. Boyce again?"

"I'll pay him a visit before I leave, yeah. I need to find out exactly what Archer said." It's definitely best not to fool around with that. 

"Thank him for me, as well," Khan says. "He has been kind to me since he learned of Archer's decree. Without his influence, I would have done terrible things, my James."

Jim nuzzles at him, brushing their lips together tenderly. "I'm glad you didn't. And I'm sorry I didn't find a way to contact you sooner."

"Do not apologize, my James," Khan says. "I am sure you did what you could."

"I... spent two weeks as a depressed, drunken mess until Bones kicked me in the ass," Jim replies with a rueful smile. Bones' love is tough love.

Khan frowns and tilts James' chin up slowly. "Do not tell me my 'doesn't believe in no win situations James felt defeated."

Jim locks at his lower lip and then worries at it with his teeth. "For a little bit, yeah. I was scared. I didn't want Archer to go after you. I practically had to get on my knees just to make sure he didn't extend your sentence." 

"You thought you would never see me again?" Khan questions, tone gentle and warm.

"It's pretty high up there on the list of things that scare the shit out of me, yeah." Jim's gaze flicks over to the wall, not quite able to hold Khan's.

Khan eases him gently to the floor, since their time is nearly gone, but kisses him sweetly. "Did you not think that if you could not get to me, eventually, I would come for you?"

Jim doesn't protest the change in position, but he does blink up at him a little, brows furrowing. "I..." He pauses and bites at his lip as he thinks. "I'm not used to being the damsel in distress." He'd sort of forgotten that he didn't have to be the only one coming up with a plan. 

Khan laughs softly and says, "I promise you that I have never thought of you as such. Sitting here waiting has not been my favorite pass time, either."

"At least I don't have to put on a--" The response is cut off by a knock at the door and Jim sets his hand against Khan's shoulder, urging him up. "Okay! We'll be right out!"

Khan straightens himself and bows to James a little. "Thank you, my James."

Jim takes a furtive look at the door before he grapples onto Khan and drags the man in for a heated kiss, all tongue and teeth. And then it's over as quickly as it started and Jim pulls away, straightens his shirt, and goes to get the door. 

Khan smiles faintly and puts himself in order, walking to the door to allow the guards to take him into custody once more. "It was a kindness, Captain, of you to see me. I look forward to serving on the Enterprise."

"I'm sure you'll make a fantastic officer, Mr. Singh. I'll be seeing you again soon enough," Jim replies, tone formal, and then he watches them escort Khan back to his cell. Now all Jim has to do is find Boyce.


	27. Soothing the Old Bones

Later that day, at an actual, respectable hour, rather than the God-awful o'clock in the morning it had been when he'd left, Jim returns to Bones' apartment, letting himself in and slumping back against the door once it closes. "I'm home!"

Bones tries not to look too obviously worried as he practically skids into the room in his haste. "Jim! Why didn't you com me, you bastard? I've been sick with worry." And then his words ruin the lousy effort anyway.

Jim takes one look at the state of his friend, kicks off his boots, and comes over to wrap him up in a hug. I'm sorry I gave you gray hairs." 

"More gray hairs, I might add," Bones says and hugs him tight. "So, what happened? Is everything all right? You were there a long time!"

"Boyce is a miracle worker. I'm serious. Now I know where you get it from. He somehow convinced Admiral Archer to completely reverse his decision. Khan's coming on the Enterprise again," Jim beams, still clinging to his friend. "And I got to have a miniature sex marathon," he adds deviously, "so it was pretty good." 

Bones groans and steps away to whack Jim in the back of the head, not as lightly as he might. "I don't want to know that! Just that you're not about to self-destruct or get sent to jail or lose the Enterprise...and yeah, that you get to keep Khan."

Jim's grin just gets brighter. "Oh. My bad. Was that too much information?" He damn well knows it was. 

A hypo appears out of nowhere and jabs Jim in the neck, before Bones turns on his heels and heads for the kitchen.

The blond lets out a startled yelp and grabs at the offended spot, rubbing at it tenderly. Great. Now he's going to have two bruises on his neck. "You owe me breakfast," he calls after him. 

"It's dinnertime, and I don't owe you anything, infant," Bones snaps back. "Besides, that was all the vitamins you've been neglecting for the past days wallowing in your sorrows."

"It's dinn-- Are you sure?" Jim looks at the clock and, sure enough, it's definitely time for the evening meal. "Holy shit. I was gone a long time.

Well, after you had your sex marathon, I hope you had more than a few questions for Dr. Boyce," Bones says. 

Jim shrugs a little as he meanders into the kitchen. "After he filled me in on how he made Archer realize he was sort of pulling a Marcus in punishing Khan for no legitimate reason, I didn't have many other questions to ask." 

"That's a little unfair of a comparison, isn't it?" Bones argues. "Not that I think Archer was right in handing down such a severe punishment, but he wasn't trying to enslave Khan or start a war with the Klingons. And he doesn't know what you mean to each other."

Jim waves his hand dismissively. "I'm exaggerating for the sake of a dramatic re-enactment."

"Then I know you're feeling better," Bones says with a smile. "You really haven't eaten all day?"

A loud rumble answers that question before Jim can open his mouth, so he just looks a little sheepish. 

Bones snorts and says, "I'll have to give Dr. Boyce a piece of my mind for letting you go hungry. C'mon, infant, you'll treat me to dinner."

"I will?" Jim blinks. "Okay. At least let me have a shower while you think where you wanna eat." He's still going to steal a handful of grapes from the fridge to eat on his way to the bathroom, though. 

"A shower..." Bones groans at the implications and says, "I'll call in for Thai food. I imagine the conversation is not going to be one for company."

"Here I thought you'd be happy I was taking care of my hygiene!" At the mention of Thai food, though, Jim pokes his head back out of the bathroom door. "You know Thai food is dangerous." 

"Dangerous?" Bones asks, afraid to know. His friend always catches him off guard.

"Allergies?" Jim asks in a tone that suggests it should have been absolutely obvious. 

"Oh, you mean literally dangerous," Bones says with a sigh of relief. "Idiot. I know your allergies better than you do."

"Yeah. It's not like it gives you explosive diarrhea or causes spontaneous combustion, or something. The hell, man." Then Jim shuts the door and starts in on his shower. He really, really needs to clean his ass out. 

Bones stares at the door and then yells, "I think you're a bastard, too, jackass!"

The only response that gets is laughter, followed by obnoxious singing of some pop song. 

Bones orders at least one think that Jim knows he's allergic to, so that he can eat that and gloat, but otherwise gets a mixture of food his friend can eat. "Don't take all night! They'll be here in fifteen."

"Yeah, yeah!" Jim yells back, though he does hurry. Once he's as clean as he's going to get, inside and out, he comes back out of the shower, towel draped low around his hips. "Is it here yet?"

Bones glances at him with a scowl, even as the buzzer goes off. "Get some clothes on. I'm taking some of your credit chips."

"If I put my clothes on, you'll have to grope me for those credit chips," Jim replies, which basically means he has no intention of getting dressed yet. 

Bones glances at the door as the buzzer goes off again and says, "I ate a few hours ago."

Jim grunts and moves to collect his pants. "You're such a dick." 

"Because I want you to pay for once," Bones says, making tiny violin motions. "And I already set the table...infant."

"No, because you're threatening me with starvation." Jim doesn't put on his shirt, though. He answers the door half-naked and pays for their food, taking the bag and giving the delivery girl a friendly wave before shutting the door again. "God, I'm so hungry, I could eat the whole thing." 

"I won't tell Khan about that little flirting thing you had going on there, shall I?" Bones asks with a roll of his eyes. James Kirk was always going to be James Kirk.

"What flirting thing?" Jim asks as he returns to the kitchen, setting the bag of food on the table. "There was no flirting."

"You answered the door half-naked and flashed those baby blues and teeth," Bones says with a snort. "How much did you tip, too?"

"Not much. It's not like he got down and sucked my cock." Jim rolls his eyes at Bones' exaggeration and then opens the bag, pulling out the contents. "Wait a fucking second. Does that have nuts in it?" he asks as he points at the offending dish. 

"Oh look, my food," Bones says and takes the carton with a happy grin. "Your favorite...except I got it with the nuts."

"You're a sadistic jackass," Jim accuses. He takes one of the cartons at random and dumps it onto his plate and heads to sit on the couch. 

Bones laughs and takes another carton of the same food, sans nuts, from the bag and sets it near Jim. "Infant." He goes to fetch a plate and something to drink. "And if he'd gotten down and sucked your cock, that would have been beyond flirting...even for you."

"Look, I'm totally monogamous now," Jim calls from the couch, casting Bones glares. "Even if I never thought I'd be saying that."

Bones snickers a little to himself and returns to the living room with his own food, flopping on a chair across the way from Jim. "I know. It's a wonderful thing."

The blond sticks his fork into a piece of chicken and stuffs it into his mouth. "Then stop trying to kill me with foodstuffs or Khan's gonna tan your hide." 

"Oh shut it. I ordered you food you could eat. I just made sure I had some of what I liked, too." Bones kicks up his feet and grins across at Jim. "So, are you going to tell me what happened exactly?" He feels amazing, loose-limbed and happy like he hadn't in weeks. Since Jim's chewing out by Archer.

"As long as you're not planning on sticking your tongue down my throat," Jim remarks, giving Bones the stink eye as if he thinks his friend is guilty of harboring such thoughts. "And I told you, didn't I?"

"Jim, you said 'Boyce is awesome and then I had sex.' That's what I got by way of explanation. Oh yes, and you compared Archer to Marcus, which I pointed out was bull," Bones says. "That's not enough to tell me what happened." 

"Well," Jim begins, thinking of where to start as he stuffs another fork full of food into his mouth. Then he grins. "I got there, Boyce told me he'd talked to Archer and that full explanations would come later and then he took me to the conjugal visit room." His grin grows wider. "I had sex for two hours, napped for the last hour, mapped Khan's teeth with my tongue, and then went to find Boyce for answers, which I already related to you." 

Bones scowls at him for a long time and then says, "So, we're in the free...thank fuck. What are we going to do with all the stuff we prepared?"

"Dismantle it and pretend we never planned on screwing Starfleet over," Jim replies easily, but then he startles and nearly drops his plate as he surges up and off the couch, hastily depositing his plate on the coffee table as he dashes around the apartment. "Where's my PADD?!"

Bones watches him dash off and says, "In the closet, where we hid everything. You're not making my blood pressure any lower."

Jim rushes into the closet, practically colliding with the door, and drops to his knees as he searches through the bags. Finally, he emerges with a triumphant cry, PADD in hand, tapping furiously away at the screen. "Spock almost got a message about how we were halfway across the Alpha Quadrant and not to come looking for us." 

Bones wipes a hand over his face. "Jesus. I just erased the note I wrote to Jo. And made plans to see her. I'm so fucking glad Boyce called."

"I toyed with the idea of knocking you out at the last second," Jim admits as he sets the PADD back in with the rest of the incriminating gear. 

"You wouldn't have!" Bones says, outraged. "You know I would have chased after you, Jim."

"No. You'd have thought about it and realized you wanted to help raise your little girl as much as you could, instead," Jim replies calmly. 

Bones says, "I'm barely in her life as it is, Jim. And you mean a lot to me. You're my best friend." 

"She's your baby, Bones," the blond points out as if that makes all the difference in the world because it does. 

"And I would have missed her," Bones says, "but I would also have missed you. You're in my life more than she is, and I can actually be of use to you." He sounds equally firm.

Jim finally gives up and just flops out onto the floor in front of the closet, the adrenaline from his panic attack having fully worn off. "Kinda moot now, right? We don't have to elope." 

"Come back here and eat!" Bones calls. "You need to regain your strength after all that sex!"

"But I'm tired and my limbs don't work anymore." Jim flails his arm a little towards the couch. "Feed me, Seymour."

"Seymour?" Bones asks with a scowl, standing and bringing Jim's food to him. He refuses to sit on the floor, though, and returns to his chair. "I need to sit down with Khan one day and ask how he puts up with you."

"Unconditional love," Jim replies as he rolls over and picks up his fork again, smiling like the cat who got into the cream. 

"Riiiiiiight," Bones says and digs into his food. "So, when do you get to see Khan again?"

"Couple weeks, when the Enterprise is all prettied up and ready to go." It's gonna seem like the longest two weeks ever.

"And a bit longer before he can join the crew?" Bones asks.

Jim shakes his head and swallows his food. "There's gonna be an announcement going out to the whole crew tomorrow. Not that most of them don't know already. We'll get to ship out right away, Khan in tow."

Bones smiles a little and says, "Good. Once we're out of Starfleet's easy range, maybe everything will be a little bit damned easier." 

The blond snorts out a laugh. "No fucking kidding, right? It's like having sex with my parents next door." 

"Well, thank you for that comparison. And for bringing this conversation back to sex again," Bones says with a sigh.

All Bones gets in response is a smirk before Jim finishes the food on his plate and goes to see what else is left to eat.

"There's plenty more in the kitchen you can eat," Bones says. "And then let's get some sleep. Fuck knows I need it."

"Found it." Jim raids the rest of the Thai food until he's absolutely full to bursting, and then he deposits his plate into the sink. After a quick stop in the bathroom, he heads to Bones' bedroom and plunks face-first down onto the brunet's bed in just his boxers. "G'night."

"Did you just go to my bed again?" Bones demands.

"Yep."

"And do you want me to come and cuddle?" Bones asks after a few moments of silence.

"Obviously," comes the exasperated voice. "It's your bed." 

"I could sleep on your bed," Bones says with equal annoyance.

"Just get over here and give me celebratory snuggles." Jim lifts his hand and gestures, even if Bones can't see it from the living room. 

"Didn't you get enough snuggles earlier?" Bones asks, but heads to the bathroom to wash his face, change into night clothes and brush his teeth.

"I never get enough snuggles. I'm a tactile guy. It's not like this is news."

"You're a royal pain in my ass," Bones says, but comes to bed anyway. He wraps his arms around Jim and gives him a quick hug. "Well done, Jim."

Jim smiles and bumps their foreheads together lightly. "You're the one who kicked my ass into gear. Thanks." 

"Yeah. Show your thanks by getting your next physical without complaint," Bones says.

"Deal." And Jim actually means that. For now, anyway. He buries himself under the blankets and against the warmth of the doctor. "G'night for real this time." 

"Yeah, night, Jim. I am happy this worked out for you...and Khan," Bones says, figuring he'll finally sleep well tonight, too.

"Me too," Jim murmurs before shutting his eyes and slipping into a deep, restful sleep.


	28. Freedom

It's the big day. Starfleet is releasing Khan into Jim's custody, and Jim is actually nervous. He doesn't even know why he's nervous. Maybe it's because Murphy's Law seems to be at full force in his life and every time he thinks things are going to be smooth sailing between him and Khan, something pops up and sucker punches him in the face. Or maybe it's because he's going to have Khan back, and he's afraid of having that one good thing that he can lose. He's responsible for Khan's safety now. 

Then again, it's not so different from all that time they spent together on their little ship, just the two of them, watching each others' backs. 

Jim can do this. He signs the final paper and then looks up as they bring Khan out into the reception, somehow managing to keep from grinning. "Mr. Singh. You look considerably better when you're not dressed in bright orange." 

Khan strides out of the prison, head high, even though his arms are still shackled together. He wears the old black Starfleet standard uniform that he had on the Enterprise, when he was also a prisoner. Stopping a few feet short of James and keeping a serious, almost bored, facade, he says, "Indeed, Captain, my current clothes are the exact opposite of colorful."

The head guard glares at Khan, having been such for the whole time of Khan's incarceration and never warmed up to him, and then looks to Captain Kirk, holding out the electronic keys to the manacles. "Captain Kirk, I hereby transfer the prisoner, Khan Noonien Singh, to your custody. I recommend keeping him in the manacles."

"I accept custody. Thank you for your recommendation," Jim tells the guard diplomatically. Well, diplomatically for all of three seconds. "But he's not a prisoner anymore." Jim unlocks the manacles from Khan's wrist and takes them, handing both them and the key back to the guard, smiling pleasantly despite the baffled look he's getting in return. 

"Well!" Jim turns back to Khan and gestures towards the door. "Let's go. You've got orientation to undergo." Which isn't quite true. Jim has every intention of simply taking Khan back to his apartment and stripping the Augment out of his clothes. 

"Orientation," Khan says dubiously, shooting the guards a last unfriendly look. "I am thrilled." He walks easily with him, aware of the eyes of everyone upon them, the way everyone is tense except James. "But anything is better than the cell I have been in for a year. Tell me, are we not to see Dr. Boyce before I go?"

"He didn't say his good-byes already?" Jim asks, blinking at him. He'd thought for certain that Boyce would have made a final visit to his favorite patient. 

"That is not the same as seeing one out the door, Captain," Khan says quietly. "Would you not do the same for one you considered a friend?"

Jim nods and pulls out his communicator, hoping he'll be able to get in touch with Boyce and get the man to meet them out the front. 

Dr. Boyce answers and gladly agrees to meet them at the front, before they take their hovercar back to San Francisco and then to the Enterprise. He was unsure of his welcome, even though he had done his best for the augment. But he was still part of the man's imprisonment, and Khan was not the forgiving type.

As they approach, he walks toward them slowly, smiling welcomingly. "Captain Kirk. Mr. Singh."

"Dr. Boyce," Khan greets him and strides forward, delighted to be completely unencumbered. He offers the other man his hand and says, "I owe you my thanks, Dr. Boyce, and I am a man who remembers his debts."

"I merely did my job, Mr. Singh," Dr. Boyce says. "The rest is up to you." He looks to Captain Kirk. "And you, Captain."

Jim smiles at Boyce and gives him a salute. "I'll make sure Khan behaves himself. Though, I might make the occasional call to you for advice," he admits. 

Khan snorts and says, "I'd be glad for your help, as well, Dr. Boyce. I think Captain Kirk may need the guidance." 

"What?" Jim gasps, sounding thoroughly affronted. "I've got one doctor to yell at me already. I don't need two." 

"I assure you, Captain Kirk, that I do not yell," Dr. Boyce says, sounding thoroughly amused. "However, Mr. Singh is correct that you should feel free to speak with me whenever you would like." He pauses and flicks his eyes between them. "But if you will excuse an old man, I believe you may have it covered already."

Jim doesn't say anything, opting for blinking owlishly at him, as if completely unaware of what the implications of that might be. 

Dr. Boyce chuckles and shakes his head at them. "Your secrets are safe with me. I'm a doctor, after all. And after speaking with Mr. Singh so many times, I believe he is better off for it, Captain Kirk. And I somehow suspect you may be, as well."

Jim clears his throat, trying not to flush. "At the very least, I'm sure he'll make sure I don't do anything stupid." That is, after all, one of the main risks in Jim's life. 

"That is a lot of pressure to put even on an augment," Khan deadpans, making Dr. Boyce chuckle. He offers his hand again to the older man. "My thanks again, Dr. Boyce. You helped make my time more bearable, helped me believe in more than Captain Kirk."

Dr. Boyce squeezes the hand as firmly as possible. "Make the most of your freedom, Mr. Singh. There's a lot of possibilities out there for you now." 

Jim shakes Boyce's hand, too, and he smiles broadly at him. "I'm sure we'll be seeing each other again, Boyce. I'm still in love with your brownies, even after almost four years of not having them." 

Khan makes a slightly disgruntled noise, remembering their stupid fight, bows slightly to the doctor and heads for the hovercar, a few steps ahead of James. 

Dr. Boyce chuckles again and says, "I'll send you some as a going away present, Captain. Now, go enjoy your last days of being on Earth." He tips a wink at the young captain and then waves at them both in farewell.

"I'll hold you to that." Jim gives a parting wave and then goes to catch up with Khan. He gives the Augment an odd look. "What was that all about?" He has no idea why Khan looked angry about something. 

"There is nothing wrong...my James," Khan says, as he can now that they are alone. "I was merely remembering our last unpleasantness." He gestures to the different hovercars and says," I presume the flashiest one is yours."

Jim laughs and shakes his head, gesturing to a sedate, black model parked not far from where they're standing. "Nope. I know how to be discreet when I want to."

"I don't much feel like being discreet," Khan says with a wicked gleam in his eyes. "I want to stand on the roof of that ugly hovercar while you drive as fast as you can just revel in being free and unhunted. No Marcus or Starfleet or non-augmented army trying to chase me down. Not having to be a leader or a lab experiment or anything else that I do not wish to be...do you understand that? I have lived and slept three hundred years and for the first time, I am my own man." 

Jim gives him a warm, affectionate look and reaches out to stroke his hand down his lover's arm. He's happy for Khan and can understand the euphoria of being free after being held prisoner, though he knows Khan will be feeling it on a much grander scale. "You wanna drive, then?"

"No," Khan says with a leer. "I want to suck you off while you drive." He heads for the car with determined strides.

Jim's eyebrows shoot up and his eyes go wide, but he unfreezes himself and scrambles to get into the car. As he's buckling himself in, he looks over at the brunet. "You'd better not just be teasing me."

"This car had better go fast because in five minutes, I am going to be all over you no matter where we are at the time," Khan says without looking at James, but his tone's all business. The good kind of business.

"Wow. Fuck. Okay." Jim ponders how he wants to do this and decides to take the scenic route. There should be fewer cars to hit if Khan is extra enthusiastic. 

Khan keeps completely still the requisite five minutes, a virtual statue, as he watches the scenery go by and counts down. At exactly the five minute mark, he strikes, hands near blurring as they rip open the front of James' pants and find his cock with ease. He's swallowed his lover to the root by the ten second mark and sucking with contented humming noises. If James drives them into a tree or oncoming traffic, he'll protect their bodies from harm, but otherwise just keep right on going.

Jim hasn't got the near-perfect internal clock of Khan, and even if he'd been watching the chronometer like a hawk, he'd still be unprepared when his pants are suddenly getting vandalized and there's a hot, wet mouth sucking him down. "Holy shit!" 

It takes all of the blond's concentration to keep them on the road, but he manages it, keeping them between the lines even as his eyes threaten to roll back in his head. 

Khan chuckles around James, amused that his lover can still be surprised by his actions, even when forewarned. He shuts his eyes and just absorbs James' scent, taste and feel, especially the warmth and slick against his tongue. He acts mercilessly, not giving James so much as a chance to catch his breath. He wants the first orgasm fast and messy and NOW!

Jim's quickly learning that it's difficult to focus on the road when your boyfriend is deep-throating your cock with the sort of enthusiasm that's usually reserved for winning the lottery or vacationing on Risa. It makes him moan like an Orion whore and the only thing keeping him from fucking Khan's mouth is the seat belt. 

He doesn't last long. It's fucking arousing getting blown by his lover while he's trying to drive. It's pseudo-exhibitionism, and Jim absolutely loves it. He comes down Khan's throat with a deep, satisfied groan, hands gripping the wheel tight enough to make his knuckles white. 

Khan swallows everything without strain and only releases James' cock when he fears he might start hurting, rather than causing pleasure. "Now, find a place to pull over," he says, voice deep with need. "I am very pleased that this car has a large backseat, as I plan to fuck you in it."

Jim gapes at him for a moment, surprised by his boyfriend's sudden sexual adventurousness... and more than willing to comply. "Yessir!" He finds the nearest path off into the trees and pulls off, finding a quiet back road to pull the car to a stop. "You know, lube is the one thing I didn't think to bring with me."

Khan freezes and growls, low and deep in his throat, eyes burning. "You are usually so much better prepared..." He frowns and says, "I shall have to lick you open until you are dripping then."

"I didn't know you were gonna fuck me in Muir Woods," Jim replies with a small smile, getting out of the car so he can crawl into the back seat. "You coming, baby?"

"Muir Woods?" Khan asks, suddenly distracted and turns to look toward the big trees. "I have always wanted to see that."

"Outskirts of, yeah. You've never been? Maybe after you're done fucking me senseless, we can drive further in and take a walk?"

Khan laughs, low and dark, and turns back to his lover, following him into the backseat with a predator's grace. "Or I'll leave you passed out in the car and explore while you recover." He wraps an arm around James' waist and pulls him tight against him, biting his nape.

The blond smirks at that, grinding his ass down against Khan's groin. "I'd like to see you try. You can ask anything you want of me if you do manage to fuck me unconscious," he teases. 

"I would like very much to try," Khan growls and pushes James' front down on the seat, while hauling his ass up into the air. He smacks the clothed ass twice, enjoying the firmness under his palm and then removes James' boots and socks. 

The blond makes a sound of approval, kicking his feet to help get rid of the footwear, and then he looks back at his lover, confident and aroused. "What'll you ask of me if you succeed?"

Khan just snorts and pulls off James' tunics, deliberately entangling his arms and head. Leaving him that way, he tugs James' pants off and tosses them on the floor. Scooting around and shoving James forward a little more, he spreads the lovely cheeks and plunges his right in. His tongue flicks rapidly over the pink muscle, before digging inside a little.

Jim did have the good sense to make sure he cleaned absolutely everywhere before he came to pick up Khan. Copious amounts of sex was inevitable, and he's glad of that particular preparation as his lover's tongue presses inside of him, eliciting groans and gasped swears. Jim wants to reach back and part his cheeks further for Khan, but with his hands bound the way they are, he'd have to unbalance himself to work his way free. All he can do is wriggle his ass and thank the gods of sex that he's got an adventurous boyfriend. 

Khan bites his ass in warning to keep still and then goes back to licking further inside. He makes James as wet as possible, wanting their coupling to be easy and pleasurable for his lover. Aloud, he growls and hums his claim to James, instinctive and out of his control.

There's a sharp hiss in response to the bite, but it's quickly replaced by moans as Khan tongue-fucks him. Jim has absolutely no desire to contest his lover's claim. He belongs to the Augment completely and without reservation. "Fuck, baby. Please!" he moans, wanting more than just Khan's tongue. 

Khan aches inside his pants, but refuses to risk injuring his lover. His tongue slides even deeper, swirling around to open him up further and spread more moisture. It's nowhere near as good as lube, so Khan wants to make sure there is more of it, as much as possible. 

But still, James is calling for him, needing more, so Khan reaches around to find his cock and tug a few times, seeing if that helps.

It does, for now. Jim's already hard again and the hand on him makes him keen, pushing his hips back and fucking himself on Khan's tongue. Jim loves this, loves the attention Khan gives him, loves the affection that goes into prepping him and making sure it won't hurt. 

Khan removes his tongue to add a wet finger, stretching James more thoroughly now and spreading the wet even more. He noses back in to double-team finger and tongue, and then triple-team with a second finger. And all the time, he carefully manipulates James' cock to make sure he feels nothing but pleasure. 

Holy mother of God, Jim's not sure he can take this for too long. It's so fucking intense that he's already quivering and shaking, rocking back and forth between Khan's hand and his tongue. "N-Noonien! Fuck, that feels good!"

Khan has not forgotten the goal of the festivities and picks up pace and speed on James' cock, while deliberately hitting his prostate with each deep stroke of his fingers. After all, James is young, multiple orgasms are good for him.

If it weren't for the fact that Jim's definitely going to benefit from this he might be worried about losing his bet, but he's definitely not. He's kind of hoping that he does lose it, actually, which is why he doesn't hold back when Khan wrings that orgasm out of him. He lets out a strangled cry, overwhelmed by the stimulation to that sensitive gland, and he spurts all over the seat of the car, wondering if he'll get charged extra when he returns it to the rental place. 

Khan times everything to the millisecond, removing his fingers and tongue just as James starts to release. He undoes his own pants and pulls himself out, spreading just another saliva and precome to make sure the skin is somewhat wet. And in that moment when James goes most pliant and relaxed from his orgasm, Khan slides right into him, all the way to the hilt.

The blond lets out a deep groan at that, satisfied right to the core. Not only is he completely blissed out from that orgasm, still trembling and twitching, but now he's filled with his boyfriend's cock and it's just about as close to heaven as Jim can get. 

Khan takes but a moment to settle and allows James to ease beneath him and then starts up a demanding pace. He grips James' hips in strong hands and drags him back into every thrust into his body, splitting him wider and taking him deep. The seat is not very wide, so Khan ends up bracing one foot on the floor, but that just allows him to use the extra strength of his leg. He bites back a series of flattering words, not wanting James to lose the moment in the tangents he sometimes goes off on.

Even if he just came, Jim gets lost in a mantra of expletives and nonsense, begging for nothing in particular and yet sounding desperate all the same. His whole body thrums with energy, sparking along his nerves, miniature firecrackers lighting everywhere Khan touches. 

Khan cannot stay this far from James for too long and falls forward to press against his back and tangle their hands. His hips never falter from their rhythm, and he worries a little that James will have rug burn on his knees. But he finds his mark, too faint now, on James' nape and sinks his teeth into it, drawing it back up to something satisfying to look at.

Jim's pretty sure that rug burn is the least of his concerns. Not that it's really a concern. He'll be more worried about whether he's going to be able to walk later, but then again, as long as he can sit in the captain's chair, he's got no complaints about that, either. Right now, all he wants is to have his lover come inside him and mark him hard enough to make him bleed. "Fuck yeah! Bite me, baby. I'm yours." 

Khan agrees emphatically and bites down again, fucking into James with more than a hint of his augmented strength. But not enough to hurt...that much control he refuses to lose. "Nobody can keep us apart now," he growls and turns James head for deep, frantic kisses.

Jim whimpers at that second bite, but it's just what he needs to get hard again. He loves Khan's strength. It turns him on and makes him putty in the Augment's hands. "Not even Admiral Archer," Jim murmurs and then bites at Khan's lower lip, tugging it with his teeth. 

Khan growls and nips at James' mouth. "Do not speak that odious name while we are making love," he growls and punctuates that remark with a neat twist into James' ass. He wants his lover to come untouched this time, to find his release from the relentless pounding of Khan into his ass. And maybe from the bites to his neck, as Khan takes firm, possessive hold again in his teeth.

Jim lasts longer this time, probably because of those previous two mind-blowing orgasms, but the harder Khan fucks him, the more determinedly his lover bites at his neck, the less control Jim has. His balls are nearly empty, but there's still a small dribble of precome leaking out of his cock as it twitches. "Noonien," Jim breaths, the name coming out more as a mantra. "Please. Fuck, please!"

"What, my James?" Khan croons in his ear. "What do you need, my own?" He presses more of his weight into James, blanketing his nude form with his still clothed one. 

"I need you to come in me!" the blond cries out in response, desperately rocking himself back against Khan's hips, burying that thick cock deeper inside him. 

"I will," Khan promises, voice dark and velvety. "I'm just having too much fun as of yet." He wouldn't drag things out much longer, though. Couldn't, truth be told. James' excitement feeds his own, until he's running at a very high level, as well.

Jim whimpers, trying to hold on, shifting his hands against the shirts binding his wrists. "Please," he moans again, "please don't let me come until you do."

Khan would ask why, would tease and then make James come anyway, but the plea touches him. He kisses the open mouth, soothing and trying to hush him. "No, we'll come together this time, James. And you're so close, aren't you?"

"Yeah. I am," the blond admits, whimpering again, sliding his tongue against Khan's lips in a plea for mercy. 

Khan huffs a soft laugh and says, "Then don't hold back, my James. I want to feel you fall apart in my arms. Please." He kisses back in gentle reassurance, all the while, still plunging in and out in a wild fashion.

Jim hangs his head between his arms, limbs shaking from the strain of frantic sex, and focuses on just breathing. He can feel his balls tightening, wanting to come, so he arches his back a little more and meets Khan halfway on every thrust until he can't hold out anymore and he spurts across the car seat for a second time, moaning and writhing beneath his lover. 

Khan holds out until James comes for that third time and answers his lover's pleas, though he doubts he could have held out much longer anyway, and fills James with his seed, deep and copious. His own voice reverberates through the car, as he can finally be as vocal in his pleasure as he wants. And this coupling and release is as joyous as any shared with James, now that he is free and with his lover for good...if he has anything to say about it.

Jim is truly spent. He collapses against the car seat, heedless of the mess he's falling into, and huffs and pants, barely able to catch his breath. It's all worth it, though. The feeling of Khan spilling inside him, claiming him and filling him up, leaves Jim in a happy daze. 

Khan eases out and strips off his pants, tossing them into the safe front seat. He sits down on the clean side of the backseat and tips James up and into his arms, freeing him from his shirts as he does. This leaves James completely nude in his arms, and Khan takes shameless advantage with his mouth.

The blond groans quietly, letting Khan have the run of the metaphorical house. He thinks Khan won this bet. He's definitely not getting out of the car and walking anywhere. He doesn't even think he can drive anymore. 

"My James," Khan murmurs and kisses up his throat, before tucking him safely tight against his chest. He wants to say more, but the words bunch tightly, so he speaks in soft kisses across his lover's warm face, love in his touch. "With my body, I thee worship," he finally murmurs.

Jim lifts wobbly arms to capture Khan's face and drag him in for a proper kiss. "I love you." 

Khan smiles and says, "As I love you, my James. Are you all right? I did not get overly enthusiastic?" He gently strokes the spent balls. 

"I'm good. Really good." Jim shifts a little, rearranging himself just enough to take the pressure off his ass. "I don't think I can move anymore."

Khan lifts him so that he no longer sits on his abused posterior and kisses all over his face. "I could not wait another minute for you. I have thought of little else as this day approached. There were moments I thought it would never come."

Jim basks in the attention, letting it wash over him and soothe his aches. "We would have found a way to make it work, no matter what. And I think you owe Bones a good deal of thanks, too."

"Indeed?" asks Khan. "And for what do I owe the good doctor so much?" He loves how James soaks in his touches and gives even more in response.

The blond is almost purring now, letting out the occasional contented hum. "He was willing to abandon everything -- his career, his friends, his daughter -- to help us." He fails to mention that Bones would have come on their ship with them. He's not entirely sure how Khan will take that, but he's sure the reaction would be amusing, so he'll save it for another time. 

"So, you were plotting my grand escape then," Khan says, deeply gratified by this knowledge. "I am most thankful, my James, to you both then. And I shall tell your Dr. McCoy so at some appropriate time."

A soft smile curves Jim's lips as he remembers that night. "He stabbed me in the neck with a detox hypo the minute I walked in the door, and he already had bags packed for a heist. He didn't even have a plan, but he was rarin' to go. S'why I love 'im."

"A detox hypo..." Khan frowns and eases James to rest against him. "You were drinking..." He studies his lover's face and then smiles softly. "Oh ye of little faith."

"Yeah, I was. I told you that already. I was depressed and scared and didn't have a plan. Yet." Jim pouts a little, wondering if Khan is disappointed in him. 

Khan kisses that pout sweetly and says, "I love you, my James." 

Jim breathes a quiet sigh of relief and kisses Khan right back. "Love you, too, baby."

"So, a day or so before we report to the Enterprise," Khan says. "How ever shall we spend that time?" He traces a finger over James' sternum.

"Yeah. We gotta go to Americandy," Jim replies earnestly.

Khan's lips press together in consternation. "You wish to go to the candy store...I take it Noonie needs to be replaced."

Jim gives him a megawatt smile. "Yes. He's moved on to a better place, and it's time to get another one, but I also figured it would be a nice treat for you since you've been living on prison food."

Khan studies his face and sees that James truly means it as a kindness, a way to make up for the time in prison. And as such, he accepts the offer and tugs his lover up for another kiss. "May my improvement in food extend to some authentic Indian, as well?"

"You wanna go out to dinner?" Jim asks, nibbling at his boyfriend's lips. 

"Or you might order in," Khan says, both ideas appealing. "It may be too early for Khan Noonien Singh to be out in public too much."

"Fair enough," Jim concedes. "Just as long as we make sure we get some dishes that are safe for me. I don't wanna end up in the hospital the first day you're out." 

Khan gives him a long, hurt look that asks if he does not trust his lover to look after him. And then he drops his eyes and makes with the miserable.

Awww, fuck. Jim can't resist that. He snuggles his lover, nuzzling at him and murmuring apologies. "Don't pout. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. You can order whatever you want."

Khan smiles a little, pleased the thing works both ways and kisses James sweetly. "How foolish would I be to finally reunite with you and then kill you with my own land's cuisine?" 

Despite the forgiveness, Jim still feels the need to explain. "I know. I'm sorry. It's just... easier to remind people than to not remind them and eat the wrong thing. At least with foods that I'm mostly unfamiliar with." 

"And I would not wish to see you harmed in any such way," Khan says, nuzzling his lover in return. "I will take care to choose dishes you may safely eat and enjoy."

"Thanks." Jim has to admit that he feels a little bad that Khan will have to go back to restricting his diet to Jim-safe foods. 

Khan snorts and says, "In the scheme of things, this is hardly worth thanks. May we spend the rest of our time before heading for the Enterprise together?"

That makes Jim grin a little and he pecks Khan on the cheek. "Of course. Though, if you wanna explore Muir Woods, I think you're either gonna have to carry me or leave me behind. I'm not gonna be able to walk anywhere for a bit." 

Khan looks at the trees and longs for outdoors. "Yes, we will dress, and I will carry you for a time. I should like to breathe fresh air and see things that are not man-made. For the second time in a year."

"Okay, baby. Let's do that, then. ...But I'm pretty sure you might have ruined the zipper on my pants..." Jim cranes his neck, trying to find the discarded fabric among the pile of clothing. 

"How foolish of you not to bring extra pants," Khan scolds, but there is laughter in his eyes. He looks over James' form and says, "I could take you as you are."

"We can't just traipse around the woods naked. I mean, odds are that we'll run into somebody else, right?" Given Khan's reputation currently, anybody who ran into them would probably assume the worst.

"Who said we'd be naked?" Khan asks with a wicked grin. "I'm sure I can keep you shielded from curious eyes.

"Do I wanna know what you've got planned?" Jim asks, a little skeptical, though curious.

"Only if you are interested in seeing the woods with me," Khan says. "They are a sight, and the freedom to walk in them makes them even better."

"Yeah, I wanna see the woods, but my ass is sore and I'm all filled with come." Jim figures that's kind of restrictive. 

Khan sighs and looks back at the trees. "Very well. I shall drive us back and then tomorrow we may return and walk amongst the trees...if the time is allowed me." He kisses James tenderly and leaves him sprawled over the back, as he climbs into the driver's seat, everything about him neat and back in place.

"No. No, hey. Don't do that." Jim reaches out to settle his hand on Khan's shoulder. "Go for a walk." 

"And leave you naked and alone, where anyone may find you?" Khan asks, possessive. 

"I'll lock the doors. Don't worry about it. Go see the trees. You've been locked up too long, anyway," Jim persists.

Khan frowns and then leans in to kiss James sweetly, pulling him close by leaning through the gap in the seats. "Will you not be bored, my James? You seem to bore so easily."

"No, I'll be fine. I'll just nap a little bit, or something." The blond smiles reassuringly at him, gesturing for Khan to go have fun. "I'll wait right here for you." 

Khan strokes over James' cheek and says, "Thank you. I shall not be long." And then he practically tears the car door off to get out as fast as possible and runs into the woods, gone in a blink.

Jim laughs and watches his lover escape. The run will be good for Khan, he's sure, and he reaches out to lock all the doors. Then he settles down, covering himself with his tunic while his undershirt gets bunched up as a pillow. Sleeping sounds like a good idea.   
``````````  
Khan returns a little over an hour later, not wanting to leave James for much longer. He peers in the window and smiles at his sleeping lover, before silently breaking into the car. Moving with the stealth of any good predator, he lowers himself over James, not touching until he bites tenderly into the nape of his neck.

Jim starts awake, heart hammering, slamming his elbow into his assailant's chest as he twists and crawls away. Though, half a second later, when he finally sees who it is, he feels absolutely guilty. "Noonien! I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

Khan grunts more out of startledness than pain and moves back to let James get away. A flush of shame (a rather uncommon and unpleasant sensation) fills him, as he realizes how badly he has frightened his lover. "You have no need to apologize. I should not have done that. I am sorry for such a rude awakening."

"No. No, it's okay. I just--" Jim lets out a breath, slightly shaky. He bites at his lower lip and rubs at the wet spot on the back of his neck, not wanting to tell Khan that he had, on first awakening, feared that Raimus had found him again, as stupid as that is. "I was just expecting a knock on the window, or something." 

"I shall not wake you in such an unexpected fashion again," Khan promises. "It was unkind and thoughtless." He reaches out to stroke James' cheek, wanting forgiveness.

Jim shakes his head, crawling over to Khan so he can settle in his lover's lap. "It's not that. It's just that I wasn't expecting somebody to be in the car, you know? The doors were locked, and then there's somebody on me, and my brain wasn't awake enough to figure out what was going on." 

"Yes, it was my fault," Khan repeats and sits back with James on him, arms going to hold him gently. He strokes his magnificently rumpled hair and smiles softly at him. "Did you sleep well before I woke you?"

Jim's got tunic marks on his face, the edge of a Starfleet insignia arcing across his cheekbone. "Yeah, I think so. I'm not sure if I dreamed or not." 

"I had a long run, and it was the second most glorious thing I have gotten to do today," Khan says and then pauses. "Third." He kisses the marks on James' face, tracing them with his lips. "I have not been able to truly use my augmentations in any physical sense for over a year. And I have been well and truly miserable for that."

"I bet that felt good," Jim replies with a smile, nuzzling at his lover, sleepy again now that the rush of adrenaline has worn off. "You'll get lots of opportunities to use your strengths on the Enterprise. There's always something trying to kill, eat, maim, vaporize, or crush us." 

"And I will always be there to stop it," Khan says with a vicious scowl. "No one touches my lover...or his Gray Lady and does not live to regret it."

"Good." The blond settles his head on the Augment's shoulder, pressing a kiss to his neck. "You're warm." 

"You're still sleepy," Khan says and lets himself lean back into the seat and take James with him. "Would you like to nap awhile longer?"

Jim shakes his head. "No, I'm good. But we should get back and get changed so we can go to the candy store before it closes. Or maybe we could have lunch somewhere. That'd be good, too." 

"And perhaps drop in to a pet store and buy a few things for Tiberius and Jamie? Their stay at the veterinary for their check-ups and shots, before they can join us on the Enterprise, will have been trying," Khan says, thinking of his kittens.

Jim smiles at him, a little excited to see the kittens again. "Yeah, I think they'd like a little treat. Maybe those fish crackers, or whatever, that cats like."

"Fish crackers," Khan says and wrinkles his nose. "And when they wish to sleep on the bed with us with fish breath?"

"Hey, man, they have their own bed for a reason." 

Khan looks at James and says, "You will throw them off the bed when they snuggle up to you."

"When it's time to sleep, they'll have to. I don't want to roll over and crush one of them in the night." The blond frowns at that thought, not liking it at all. 

Khan laughs and says, "They will not be squished, James. They are not that small and fragile. And they move out of the way well."

Jim ponders this. "I guess. I also don't want to end up with scratches all over my ass because we got frisky and they didn't like it." 

Khan snorts and tucks James into a kiss. "Very well, my James, we shall not allow them on the bed when we sleep. Or have sex." He caresses his lover's back softly.

"Deal. Now, time to go?" Jim asks as he scoots back to lounge in the back seats. "We're gonna need to give this car a cleaning before we return it." 

"Yes, James, I will drive us back now. There is much to do and little time to do it all in." Khan pauses and says, "I also need to purchase a few more personal items, as I have little to call my own right now, outside of two kittens."

"Sure. But home first, then errands. I'm seriously in need of a shower. I can still feel you leaking out." Though, that somehow sounds more like praise than complaint. 

Khan drives the hovercar with ease and more than a hint of speed. He enjoys this freedom as well, finding everything that much more pleasing. "It surprises me to hear you call it home. The Enterprise is your true home, is it not?"

"Yeah, it's just a phrase in this case. Just a place to live, but it's easier than saying 'my apartment', you know?" He shrugs a little, only just now remembering to put on his seat belt. He doesn't need them to be pulled over while he's naked because of no sea tbelt. 

Khan hums and asks, "Are you giving it up, since you will be away for so long?"

Jim shakes his head, glancing out the window at the trees as they pass. "It's not really mine. It's just a place Starfleet is letting me have while I'm on Earth. Sort of part of a rotating system. When I'm gone, somebody else on shore leave here will get it." 

Khan nods again and then makes an uncomfortable noise. "James...do we have time to visit where you...scattered the ashes of my crew?"


	29. Preparing for Regular Life

"Sure," Jim says. "We can definitely do that." 

Khan makes a soft noise, high and hurt, and says, "Thank you, Captain," in a voice that's not really steady. "I know it is a lot to ask of you."

"If we ask the vet to keep the kittens overnight, we can get on a shuttle after dinner and be back sometime tomorrow afternoon." Jim knows this will be good for Khan and that it will hopefully help give him that last bit of closure that he needs. 

"Please," Khan says quietly. "I am amenable to anything that makes this work." He glances over at James quickly.

"Then that's what we'll do, okay? I promise." Jim would know, without Khan being so overtly desperate, how much this means to him just from the simple fact that he bothered to ask in the first place. It's a hard thing to ask for. 

"Thank you," Khan repeats, the words all he has to offer, though he would give much more, were it in his power. "I want to see where they were buried and say one last thing to them all."

"Just remember to dress warm. I doubt England's weather's going to be that great at this time of year." Jim reaches forward once more to brush his fingers against the back of Khan's neck. "You don't have to thank me for this, you know. I'm doing it because I love you." 

Khan shivers a little at the idea of being loved so much and says, "You do and have done so much for me, my James. I only hope to be with you long enough to in some small way repay such love."

The blond smiles, eyes sparkling mischievously. "Now I know who to turn to when I need my shoulders rubbed." He doesn't really expect Khan to repay this in any way. That's not what it's about. Jim just wants to help for the sake of helping. 

Khan acknowledges internally that he has again pushed James to feel the moment too serious and in need of lightening. He swallows a bit of upset to have this particular situation so handled, knowing James means no harm and has done all of the hardest things for him. Still, he wonders if it is fair to ask Jim to go with him on this. There will be no laughter. "Perhaps I might go alone," he says. "You can give me the coordinates."

Jim blinks, head tilting to the side as his brows knit together. "Are you saying that because you want to go alone or because you think I don't want to go?"

"Nothing about the journey will be enjoyable," Khan says. "You just freed me from prison...that is more than enough heavy lifting for some time. When I return from seeing their burial spot, I promise to be lighter of heart. As much as is possible for me."

Jim squints at him, trying to figure out what Khan is thinking. Why would Khan think he wouldn't want to go just because it's going to be tough? Jim knows that. He's not stupid. Obviously visiting the watery burial site for 72 dead family members isn't going to be enjoyable. "I'd still want to go and support you, if you'd let me," he replies carefully.

"You want to go?" Khan asks, equally careful. "I am not above confessing, my James, that I would feel better with you there." 

"Then I'll go and that's all there is to it." Jim nods, mostly to himself, and settles back into his seat, watching Khan in the rearview mirror. 

Khan smiles a little and says, "Thank you, my James. It seems fitting that the most important person in my life now be there as I bid a farewell to those who were most important to me."

That brings a smile back to Jim's face, too. "I'll look at booking a flight as soon as we get back."

"Is it possible to get a private shuttle for the flight?" Khan asks. "If that is not something that will tax your resources unduly. I would prefer to just be with you."

"It's not like I've got anything better to spend my money on," Jim replies with a shrug. "I'll book that if I can."

Khan says, "I will transfer what amounts of pay Starfleet has promised me to you, my James."

"You don't have to do that, baby. I can cover it. You don't owe me anything." Besides, Jim knows Khan will do far better things to repay him in the future, even if Jim doesn't ask for them. 

Khan offers what for him is an almost shy smile. "I am honestly unsure what to do with the money Starfleet has promised me."

Jim thinks that smile is incredibly handsome. "You'll figure it out as you go. There are all sorts of little markets on the planets we'll visit. You never know what you might find. Most places are happy to take Starfleet credits. Other places barter, so you can pre-purchase things you think would be good for trade, too." 

"You think I will collect souvenirs," Khan says, the idea having never occurred to him.

The blond laughs and grins a little. The picture of Khan collecting little trinkets is a good one. "It's not always souvenir. Spock found an honest-to-God Vulcan lyre. Chekov's found all sorts of fascinating bits for machinery. I think he brings them to Scotty. I have no idea what they're building. Probably a better distillery." 

Khan frowns and says, "I shall take that under consideration, James. I was thinking more a savings account for myself. A little spending money might be nice..."

Khan gets a shrug in return. "It's your money. Yours to do with what you want to, so if you want to build up a savings account, by all means!"

Khan considers and then asks quietly, "Will it not be our money, James?"

Jim blinks, looking a little surprised. "You want to share?"

Khan nods and says, "James, I would like to sign some civil partnership papers with you. I have spent some time in prison studying the laws that govern these things now and believe that we can sign these in your favor."

"I don't even know what that means." Jim thinks he has a vague idea, but what this sounds like to him is "we should get engaged", and that's kind of fucking scary. 

Khan knows James is frightened of things that smell of long-term commitment, but determines to power on. "It means that you and I would share some things, mainly what is mine would also be yours, if not necessarily the opposite."

There's silence from the back seat while Jim thinks this over. He's not sure he's ready for that. Khan just got out of prison and they haven't even got on the Enterprise yet, and Jim is so, so scared of anything even remotely related to marriage. He doesn't want to settle down, and he doesn't want to have kids, and he doesn't want to lose everything if Khan decides to leave him one day. "Do you need a decision right now?" he finally asks. 

"No, James," Khan says and forces himself to sound strong and unhurt. He does not understand James' reluctance, but knows the problem originates somewhere else and not with him. But that does not mean it stings any less to be rejected, which he knows is the case, despite the technical non-answer. Besides, it matters not; he will sign the papers to ensure that James receives everything, should anything happen to him. 

"Okay. I'm sorry." Jim frowns and stares out the window. He knows it's not the answer Khan wanted to hear, but... it's not really a definite 'no', either. He needs time to think about things. He can't just make a snap decision on it. 

Khan nods again and asks, "Would you mind if I dropped you off at your apartment and took care of something?"

"Um. Yeah, sure. No problem." Good job, Jim. Ruined another perfectly good mood. 

"How long will it take you to shower and change?" Khan asks.

"Fifteen, twenty minutes. Why?"

"I will run one errand while you do so and then pick you up, if that is acceptable," Khan says.

"It's okay. Take your time. You don't have to rush. It's not a big deal if we don't get to Americandy." Jim's trying to keep the disappointment out of his tone, but he realizes Khan probably isn't in the mood for candy when Jim just shot down his semi-proposal. 

"You have been looking forward to it," Khan says. "You wanted to go there as soon as I was free to. And I do not wish to disappoint you."

"But you've got errands and we'll be flying to London tonight..."

"Would you mind accompanying me to purchase a few personal effects? I have none of my own," Khan says.

"Yeah?" Jim's somehow a little happy that Khan's asking him along for that. "Okay, sure." 

"I fear it will be rather dull," Khan says, "however necessary. A trip to your candy store might liven up the experience."

This is the point where Jim realizes Khan is getting just as good as Bones at manipulating him. "Okay. We'll get candy. And we can eat some of it on the flight, too."

"Thank you, my James," Khan says, even as they reach the city. "You shall have to direct me from here."

Jim slips out of his seatbelt briefly so he can squirm into his undershirt so he's at least not visible as naked from passers-by. Then, he leans forward and directs Khan through all the turns in the city. It takes a bit, but he eventually directs them all the way to Jim's apartment, situated in a high spot overlooking the bay. "And here we are. Underground parking is over there," he says with a gesture to the left. 

Khan easily directs the hovercar to the parking garage and then asks, "Do you have enough clothing left to safely make your apartment?"

Jim's already picking at his pants, trying to figure out if they'll zip up. They won't. It doesn't really matter, though. He still tugs them on and steps out of the car, tying his tunic aroung his waist to act as a belt before he tugs his socks and boots back on. "It'll do." And, God, does he feel squicky between the ass cheeks. 

Khan smiles faintly at him and says, "I shall return in twenty minutes and be out front...if that is acceptable to you."

"Alright. I'll see you soon." Jim waves at him and then heads for the stairs, walking a little awkwardly.

Khan takes a quick trip to the nearest bank and turns in all of his paperwork (not literally anymore) from Starfleet. The bank manager is obviously more than a little nervous, but gamely sets up his accounts (after all the other employees almost wet their pants and proved to be incapable of serving him). He returns a little late with a new checking and savings account, each with a small amount of credits. 

Jim's squatting near the front curb, mainly because sitting his ass on the concrete barrier just wasn't gonna happen. He's dressed in casuals now; a blue shirt that matches his eyes, white shorts, and running shoes. "Got your errand done?" Jim asks as he gets into the car, buckling himself into his seat. 

"Yes," Khan says and takes in James. "You are very handsome. Perhaps you can direct me to where I might find similar attire, as well as personal items."

"There's a Levi's five minutes from here," Jim notes with a small smirk. Khan in skintight jeans? Yes, please.

"Levis," Khan says thoughtfully. "Jeans. I have never worn jeans. Do you think they would be a good fit for me?"

"Baby, with your ass, you'd look good in rags and plastic wrap." 

Khan eyes James and says, "But you think jeans will look better."

Jim smirks a little and then tries to look innocent "Well, if I thought I could get away with just dressing you in transparent wrap, I would."

"You would show me off to everyone else," Khan says quietly, not sure what he thinks of that.

"You're glorious. It'd be a service to the universe," the blond replies easily. 

Khan grumbles at him with more than a hint of affection and says, "You are very certain of my fidelity."

"Fairly certain, yeah. I'd hope you'd think I'm better than the other people who'd no doubt wanna shag you senseless." Jim's smile is slightly shy, like he's a little uncertain. 

Khan drops one hand lightly on James's left leg and squeezes his knee. "Yes, James, you have nothing to fear. I do not see anyone else....but that does not mean I would wish you running around so that all can see you

"You don't wanna show off what you've got?" Jim asks, tipping his head to the side as he settles his hand over Khan's. 

"Not in the emperor's new clothes, no," Khan says dryly and turns his hand to tangle their fingers together. He drives easily one handed, heading for the Levi's store.

"Really?" Jim glances over at him. "Then again, I think all the attention would still be on you, even if I were stark naked."

Khan makes a disbelieving noise and says, "We both know better. You are a better looking man than I. A more approachable kind of man."

"I think it's the fact that you look so dark and mysterious that would turn everybody on," Jim counters. 

"As long as I turn you on, my James, I don't care about the rest," Khan says softly. "You are all I want."

"You'll always turn me on. It's been over two years, and I haven't gotten tired of you. Considering most of my sexcapades before lasted a week at most, that's saying something." The blond quirks a little smile and wonders how it's seemed far, far longer than that. "And you know what I realized? I'm a terrible person. I don't even know when your birthday is." 

"So, I am a long-running sexcapade," Khan says dryly. "I am not sure that is much better." He rubs James' fingers gently, to show his words are teasing. "I do not know my birthday."

"You don't know? Well... you could pick your favorite date and we could use that?" Jim gives Khan's hand a squeeze in return. He wants to celebrate Khan's birthday and give him happy memories of it. 

"I was created more than born and such dates were not celebrated," Khan says. "We were told our general ages as a matter of record, but nothing more." He considers his favorite date and then offers, "This is a fairly pleasant date."

"Today?" Those fuzzy blond eyebrows raise up. "Yeah, uh. We could make it today, if you want. But now I'm gonna need to find a present for you," he muses. 

"You are my present," Khan says. "As is my freedom."

"I'll buy your candies," Jim announces and looks rather pleased with himself. 

"Of course you will," Khan says and sounds a mixture affectionate, amused and exasperated.

"On the condition that I'm allowed to get you a giant gummy worm," the blond adds. 

"You're make a condition for my 'birthday' gifts. Get yourself a giant gummy worm." Khan pulls into the hovercar lot and climbs out, looking rather warily at the store.

"It'll be like a cake, but better!" Jim climbs out of the car after him, looking up at the Levi's written in bold letters above the store. Oh yes, he can't wait to get Khan in the changing room. "C'mon," he says, gripping Khan's sleeve lightly to tug him on inside. 

Khan follows a little reluctantly, not sure how he feels about James' obvious excitement. He looks over the many cuts of jeans with a dubious expression and then says to James, "I don't even know what size of these I am. Most of them don't look large enough in the front."

"Well, we'll start with what I know fits me, how about that?" Khan's not the only one who's ever had issues finding pants with enough crotch room, so Jim takes him to another shelf of jeans in varieties of black and blue. He selects one and hands the folded bundle to Khan. "Try that first and that'll at least give us a ballpark of where you are." 

Khan takes them and heads for a fitting room, returning in a moment with a thundercloud scowl. "You did that on purpose."

For once, Jim has no idea what in the hell he's being accused of, so he just stares at his boyfriend, completely perplexed. "I take it they didn't fit?" 

"They looked as if they were painted on," Khan growls. "And they nearly crushed me in front...and that takes serious pressure."

"What? No way. Those should be the ones that--" Jim reaches out to take them back and double-checks the tag on them. "OH?" He bursts out laughing, then, and messily folds the jeans back up before sticking them back on the shelf. "Wrong ones. My bad." He moves down one more shelf and takes another pair. "Okay. One more go." 

Khan takes the new pair, gives James a slightly suspicious look and then goes back to the fitting room. He returns in a moment in jeans that hug his ass, show off the length of his legs and generally make him look edible. He also returns with an uncertain expression.

Jim's just staring, jaw agape. And so is the woman ten feet away, though she looks away when Jim flashes her a mild glare. Okay, maybe he doesn't like people ogling Khan. 

Khan catches his look and says, "You wish me to buy this pair then."

Jim nods vigorously. "Very much so."

Khan glances at the woman James glared at, who is still shooting him hot little glances. "And you do not mind that these pants make me look like an expensive male escort?"

"Not if you're my escort," Jim replies loud enough for only Khan to hear. "She's out of her league." 

Khan says, "I will buy them, then, but want some pairs that are not quite so...clingy. These I will wear for you."

"I can live with that." Jim's just going to take the opportunity to get a good, long look at Khan's legs and ass before the Augment has to go take the jeans off again.

"James," Khan growls, in a completely different tone, "if you keep looking at me that way, I will not be responsible for my actions."

"I love that you say that like it's any kind of deterrent," the blond replies casually, letting his eyes wander all over Khan's lower half. 

"In the middle of the Levi's store," Khan says and begins prowling toward him.

"Uh huh." But it's clear Jim's not really listening. 

Khan cups the back of James' head and tugs him into a fierce kiss, pressing the length of their bodies together. He grips James' fine ass through his own pants and squeezes knowingly.

Holy shit. Jim actually wasn't expecting this. He's torn between pulling away and deepening that kiss because he knows they should try to be at least somewhat discreet but oh god, Khan has practically got his tongue down his throat. 

Khan pulls away with a low moan of frustration. "Forgive me...when you look at me that way, I forget that you wish me to remain your secret."

Jim glances over at the woman -- and now a man, too -- who's gawking at them. "A little late for that, I think." 

"They did not take any incriminating photographic or video evidence," Khan says, "so all they can do is talk." He turns away, looks at the tag to the jeans James chose and goes to find some that will be looser cut.

Jim rubs his hand over his face and takes a breath, willing his own cock to calm down, and then plasters an easy smile on his face, following after his lover. "It'll be easier once we're off Earth and Admiral Archer can't hurt you." 

"I will also be grateful for that," Khan says. "However, I believe you also wanted our relationship kept from your crew." He hovers a few moments over a few pairs of jeans and then takes blue instead of black. A concerted effort to be a little less bleak.

"They can handle it. I mean, I'm not gonna hit them with it first thing. They all already know that you'll be on board. Everybody who was gonna leave has already left." Jim does admit that he lost a good 15% of the crew, but none of them had been essential staff and there were more than enough people willing to fill the gaps. The Enterprise is a prestigious ship to be on, after all. 

"Then I will not be confined to the shadows?" Khan asks, the idea new to him and very appealing. And that alone makes him wary and afraid to hope. He will take James any way he can have him...

"Yeah. If we give it a couple months, then we can start doing minor PDA when we're not on duty. Break it to them slowly." The more Jim thinks about this, this more Jim thinks this could work. 

"Minor PDA," Khan says and then nods once. "I would like not to be a secret forever, but I will do whatever is best to protect you as well. Including remembering myself in public...even when you make eyes at me." 

"We went a year with barely any contact. A couple of months acting like normal people in public isn't gonna kill us, right? There'll always be some sort of closet somewhere for quickies," the blond quips with an innocent smile. 

"I do not believe that either of us know what normal people are," Khan says, "but I will act respectably in public. In private, however, I will be even more possessive, if allowed." 

Jim laughs and then resists the urge to reach over and smack Khan's ass. It's just so damn tempting. Fuck, this is gonna be difficult. "You know I like it when you're possessive."

"As much as I like being possessive," Khan purrs and then turns away. "And now, you can help me find some shirts."

Jim shakes his head. "Can't. Too busy staring at your ass. I have Ass Tunnel Vision. Is that a thing?"

Khan growls at him and heads for the selection of shirts. He turns to speak with a sales person, a rather perky blonde with eyes rather sparkling for him.

Jim doesn't doubt that Khan's accent does the other half of the work for him. Yep, it's going to be very, very difficult walking around with Khan in those jeans. Somehow, he manages to tear his gaze away from Khan long enough to come up beside him and bump their shoulders together. Then he flashes the woman a smile and a wink. The poor thing ends up stuttering through the next two sentences. 

Khan makes a face as the helpful advice turns to schoolgirl mush, all directed at James. He makes a displeased noise that could frighten a charging rhinoceros and continues on toward the shirts alone. There, he picks through the choices with a rather disgruntled manner, not really into the process.

Jim saunters after him, definitely more amused than anything else, and occasionally glancing back at the poor woman who seems not to know whether to come over and help them or stay away. "I think our combined hotness is too much for her to handle."

"I think you are an ass," Khan says and then turns toward James. "Might you now be helpful so I can choose some appropriate shirts?"

"Wow. Mr. Grumpy. Okay." Jim roots around through the shirts available. "Could go for the classic black. You know what color you'd look good in, too? Navy. Might be a bit much with blue jeans, but if you had black jeans..." He roots through more shirts. "And white. White is good." 

"Thank you," Khan says and then leans closer to whisper, "I wish some additional personal time with you this day, as well, my James."

Jim takes a quick glance around before he leans in to kiss the corner of Khan's mouth. "If you wear those jeans on the shuttle, we'll be joining the Mile High Club. Does that count?" 

"I am not having sex on the way to seeing the grave of my people, James," Khan says softly, hurt and wondering at James' sensibilities. 

The blond bites his lower lip, and looks down at the floor, turning somewhat red. "Right... Sorry." Sometimes, he wonders at his own sensibilities. Fucking Ass Tunnel Vision. 

Khan returns the kiss gently and says, "Come tell me how these shirts look, my James." He tugs at his hand once and walks toward the fitting rooms again

The blond follows, still feeling like a total idiot who lets his dick do his thinking for him, which... sometimes isn't too far from the truth. So, he plunks himself down in the comfortable, sofa chair just outside the fitting rooms and waits. 

Khan tries out the white shirt first, which stretches over his muscles and broad shoulders. He walks out to James and looks at him, seeing the unhappiness in his form and face. "How do I look?" he asks.

Jim's been staring at his feet this whole time, but when he looks up, a smile twitches at the corners of his lips. "Yep. I knew white would be a good color for you." 

Khan glances around the area, listens for the sound of people approaching and then leans down to kiss James sweetly. "I love you," he murmurs, before heading back to the fitting room, stripping the shirt off as he goes. 

Jim gapes at him. If Khan intended to make Jim completely forget about his awkwardness, then mission accomplished. Instead, Jim's smiling to himself and trying not to look like a schoolgirl who just got asked to the prom by her crush. 

Khan returns in a moment in a navy shirt, paired with a softer, less clingy, black jeans. He pauses to let James look him over and asks, "And this one?"

The blond hums appreciatively as he looks his lover over, noting how, despite the relaxed fit, Khan's long legs still make him look damn good. And then there's how that navy brings out the blue in his eyes... Jim clears his throat after a moment. "It's a keeper."

"Good," Khan says. "A couple more and I will have enough to supplement what I am sure will be a delightful Starfleet uniform." He pauses and tilts his head toward James, eyes narrowing. "And what shall I wear to bed?" 

"Absolutely nothing," Jim says with absolute authority and a cheeky grin. 

Khan rolls his eyes and says, "I'm sure you think that'll work well for shipwide emergencies."

"What's wrong with just boxers? Unless you wanna look at whatever pajamas they've got."

"Boxers," Khan says, as if he's never heard of such a thing, but is interested in the notion.

"Yeah." Jim gestures towards the undergarments section. "You've seen mine enough times." 

"Not for long," Khan says with a flash of a smile. "Choose some you'd like to strip me out of." He winks and steps into the dressing room again.

Maybe it's actually Jim's birthday today? He hops out of the chair and rushes off to go pick some underwear for his lover, and when he comes back, he's got one pair of silky boxers for sheer practicality, one pair that will look like they're painted on, and a pair that's closer to a thong than actual, proper underwear just because. 

Khan chooses a couple more shirts and pairs of jeans and then tugs James playfully into the dressing room as he returns. He takes the three pairs of underwear out of his hands and then begins to strip to try them on.

Jim makes sure to double-check that the door is locked. He really can't be held accountable for what's going to happen when Khan tries on that underwear. Even right now, he's licking his lips as he watches his lover undress and trying to be as still and quiet as possible when all he wants to do is shove him against the wall and lick him all over.

Khan says, "One of these pairs of underwear is not large enough to be at all useful." He holds up the thong and scowls at James. "You wish me to wear this?"

Jim's got one of those grins that people get when they know they're being shitheads and really don't care. "Yes. On the plus side, you won't even have to take it off for me to blow you." 

Khan carefully pulls on the scrap of material, mostly to please James, and then stares at how much it doesn't contain him. "And it's deliberately too small..."

In response, Jim just drops to his knees and nuzzles his face against his lover's pelvis, nibbling at the skin over his iliac crest. "That's the point."

Khan growls, low and wanting, and strokes through James' hair. "Do you really wis to do this here?" he asks.

"Yeah, but I won't. I'll just get you all hot and bothered so you'll have something to look forward to later," the blond murmurs quietly, licking a wet stripe just above the edge of the thong. 

Khan cups James's cheeks and thumbs over his cheekbones, fingers gentle. "Don't tease, James."

"I think you should get this one," Jim whispers, looking up at him coyly.

"Get it?" Khan asks, eyes slightly narrowed. He is uncertain if James means he deserves teasing for being a tease or if he's going to get the full treatment he wants.

"Get the thong," Jim clarifies as he pats Khan's hip and leans back on his haunches. 

"Ah, purchase this so-called garment," Khan says and then uses his knee to put James on his ass.

Jim laughs, curling up so he doesn't hit his head on the wall. "Why not? It'll be fun. If you get that, you can pick something for me here that I have to wear." 

Khan presses his lips together, but places the thong in the yes pile. He checks the other pairs for their size and discards one, before placing the others with the rest of his planned purchases. "I am ready to go," he says, "as soon as I am redressed."

"If we know what sizes fit you, we could get the same style and size in a couple colors, just so you've got extra things to wear and don't have to do laundry twice a week." Jim stands up, tugging at his shorts to readjust them so they don't tent quite so badly in the front. 

"Precisely my thoughts," Khan says. "I will not need much more, since most of my time will be spent in uniform...and in your bed."

"I have a dress code for that, too," Jim quips as he steps out of the change room to go find Khan extra colors. He has to admit that there's a light pink shirt here that would look great on Khan. 

Khan dresses and follows James back into the store, eyes glancing over the stock to decide on what he wants for his lover. He finally chooses something and then circles back to James. Catching sight of the pink shirt, he says, "No."

"Why? You've got such dark hair and pale skin, it'd actually work for you. I, on the other hand, would look like a total douchebag." Jim smiles. 

"It's pink," Khan says with disdain. "Let's pay for everything and be on our way to the candy store."

"Okay, okay." Jim carefully sets the pink shirt back as if he's defusing a bomb and then takes the selection of navy, black, and white garments up to the front. "Did you pick something out for me?"

Khan plops a helicopter beanie with a duckling on the propeller on James' head and says, "This will do for you."

Jim flicks his gaze upward when the hat is settle don his head and raises his eyebrows. "How in the hell did you even find this piece of shit?" Still he lets the cashier scan the code on it and ring it up with the rest of the items. 

"It suits you," Khan says and picks up the bag of his items. He smiles a little as he turns away from James, amused by how his lover looks with the silly hat on.

Jim smiles at the cashier, who's obviously trying not to laugh at the Hero of the Federation, and just hands over his credit chip to pay. Jim thanks the man, takes his receipt, and heads out after Khan. "If this ends up in the news, you owe me big time."

Khan snorts and says, "We're quite a pair all right. The savior captain and the mass murdering augment."

"The savior captain with a duck beanie," Jim corrects and reaches up to give the propeller a spin. "You really are insane."

"What were you expecting me to choose for you?" Khan asks, thinking about the foot long gummy worm James wanted to buy him later.

"Something sexy. Something you'd want to see me strip out of while we're having sex." The blond shrugs a little. It's not a big deal. He doesn't have enough pride to keep him from wearing the beanie, as promised. 

"I like that you have the ability to make me laugh," Khan says. "It is a much rarer and more precious thing to me."

"Wait, wait. I don't turn you on?" Jim pouts a little, but it soon turns into a mischievous grin. "Guess I'll just have to try that much harder."

Khan huffs out an annoyed breath and says, "Yes, obviously, I find you not at all attractive." He shoots him a glance that is a bit unfriendly, distinctly aware that his compliment has been brushed off again.

Jim sighs. He'd been joking. "I'm sorry." He supposes he can't blame Khan for being a little moody when a flight back to England is just around the corner, so he just pulls the hat off his head as he walks, not much feeling like wearing it anymore. 

Khan reaches out and takes the hat from James, thinking he'll put it among his own things. His lover may not appreciate what Khan meant, but he'll know. He spins the little blades and then heads for the passenger side of the vehicle. "You know where we're going next better than I."

The blond nods and gets into the car, really not in the mood for the candy store anymore. Still, he starts up the engine and pulls away from the Levi's parking lot so he can start on the semi-familiar path to Americandy. 

Khan waits a few moments and then drops his hand to James' knee again, stroking softly. The hat he places on his lap, spinning the blades with his other hand, smiling a little at the spinning duck. Such a stupid thing, but a symbol that there is a place for laughter in the world. And that is something to be thankful for. His fingers work gently at James' leg, even as he tilts now warm eyes toward him.

Jim's having a bit of a hard time keeping up with Khan's mercurial attitudes, but at least he thinks it's a good thing that it usually means transgressions for forgotten quickly. He gives Khan a quick smile and spares a hand to wrap his fingers around his lover's. "You should name the duck." 

"I will have to think on it," Khan says, watching the duck spin again. "I am not sure what may be appropriate." He tangles their fingers and squeezes gently. "I would like to get flowers before we leave on the shuttle. Is that permitted?"

Jim sucks at his teeth while he tries to remember if there's any restrictions on that. Probably not, but he's not an expert on what can just be hauled between countries. "Might be better to pick up flowers in England. Fresher, you know?"

"We will be stopping there?" Khan asks. "I would like that, if you do not mind, my James."

"Kinda gotta stop in England if we want to get to the spot where I flung the ashes. I'm 99.9% sure there'll be a flower shop near the shuttleport." 

"Thank you," Khan says and then turns his eyes forward again. He allows several moments to pass and then says, "I discovered I have an irrational taste for chocolate covered cinnamon bears."

Jim laughs so hard at that, he nearly drives them in a lightpost. "Really?" He thinks that's insanely cute. 

"I blame you," Khan continues, "for introducing me to all of the candies." The laughter makes him smile, eyes warm and happy again. "But they are rather delicious." 

"They are, aren't they?" Then again, Jim likes a lot of different candies. "We can get you a two-kilogram bag of them. That should tide you over." 

"I may take you up on that offer," Khan says with a smile for his lover. "If you mean it sincerely."

Jim smiles right back, happy that the mood has once again changed for the better. "'Course I do. We can get as many bags as you want. I told you I'd treat you. It's your birthday!" 

"My un-birthday," Khan says with amusement and leans in to kiss his cheek softly. "I can be a right bastard. I am sorry." 

Jim is definitely willing to forgive, especially with such a sweet apology. "It's okay. You're stressed and I get that. ...And I know I have a habit of making jokes when I shouldn't, so there's that." 

"I am filled with so many conflicting feeling and emotions that I am unsure how to deal with them all," Khan says. "I am elated to be free and with you. And nervous about the future, one which I am to make myself...and with you, I hope. But my people-" A single tear, such as the one that leaked from his eye on the Enterprise, slides down his cheek.

Jim makes the executive decision to pull into the empty parking lot of a building that's evidently closed for the day. He makes one more quick check of their surroundings before he tugs Khan over and kisses him, sweet and affectionate. "You did everything you could for them. And now, you're going to say your good-byes. It's a good thing." 

Khan holds James tenderly and kisses back with equal fervor. "I failed them all," he murmurs. "But I won't fail you, my James." He rests his forehead against James' forehead lightly. 

"I know you won't. You've protected me so many times already, and I'm gonna return the favor. You and me? We're gonna be unstoppable." Jim wants to crawl into Khan's lap and spend the next hour just comforting him, but they're still in a public place and that's probably not advisable, so he settles for pressing a kiss to Khan's temple, then to the corner of his mouth. 

Khan nuzzles into his lover and feels another tear slip down his cheek. He presses his face into the curve of James' neck with a sigh. "It still hurts so much, James. I miss them so much."

Steady, comforting fingers slip into Khan's hair, rubbing at his scalp as Jim presses kisses along the shell of his lover's ear. "You will for a long time and that's okay. It's okay to remember them. It's better than forgetting." 

"Sometimes, I wish I could forget," Khan says and presses his own kiss to James' neck. He pushes up James' shirt to stroke the softness of his skin. 

"I know it hurts. Loss like that does. There's times you wish you could do things all over again, get a second chance." Jim slides his arm around Khan's shoulders, holding him tight. "I'm sorry things don't work like that. All we can do is press on. I'll be right here with you every step of the way."

Khan breathes out a heavy sigh and says, "I do hope we shall be alone when we visit the site of their burial, as I would like to mourn with only you as witness."

"It's an off-the-trail ocean view. I'm pretty sure there won't be anyone else there. I figured they'd want the privacy." Jim continues stroking through Khan's hair. Seeing the proud, seemingly-invulnerable man like this hurts him, too. 

Khan hums softly into James' neck and lifts his head to look into his face. "I could use those cinnamon bears now."

"Okay, baby. Cinnamon bears to the rescue." Jim gives Khan one last peck on the lips before he settles back into his seat and starts the car back up, pulling out of the parking lot and driving the rest of the short distance to the Americandy. 

Khan gets himself fully under control and reaches for his lover's knee again, wanting the connection. "I am saying thank you a lot today, my James, and expect to day it many more times."

"You don't gotta thank me. It's what a good boyfriend is supposed to do, right? Especially for your unbirthday." Jim can't seem to find a spot in front of the Americandy, so he parks a little ways down the street, in front of an ice cream parlor. He hops out of the car and rushes around to go get the door for Khan, feeling a burst of chivalry for some reason. 

Khan eyes him for a second and then smiles at James, getting out of the car easily. "I would that I was not a criminal at this moment, my James, so I could thank you properly."

"You're not a criminal. You've done your jail time, and now you're basically doing voluntary community service." Jim knows they're getting looks anyway. It's a busy day in downtown San Francisco, and there's no way people wouldn't notice them. 

Khan tries to be as unthreatening as possible as they walk the crowded streets. It's hard, considering he strides with his head up and shoulders thrown back, spine straight. "Voluntary as far as I'm concerned, yes, but if I refused, I'd get shoved back into prison."

"You wouldn't," Jim replies, though his tone conveys the fact that it would be because Jim took him and ran for it instead of Starfleet's lack of action on the matter. He glances around at the people on the street as they walk and gives them friendly smiles and waves, acting like there's nothing wrong at all. Because there isn't. He's just a guy shopping with his boyfriend. Carry on, nothing to see here. 

Khan's mouth quirks at the way James waves at everyone and lightly bumps him. He holds the door to the candy store for his lover and then entered after him. He looks around at all of the sugary treats and then asks, "So where do we begin in this house of cavities?" 

"Start on the left and work our way around," Jim says as way of explanation as he turns and starts with the Pop Tarts. He waves at the owner, who recognizes him from his previous visits. It's hard to forget having Jim Kirk enter one's store. 

Khan glances at the owner and nods his head imperiously, before starting to look at all the shelves. "These are a breakfast food?" he asks, taking down the peanut butter and jelly Pop Tarts.

Jim nods, though he leans away from the Pop Tarts pack. "Yeah. You're supposed to put them in this thing called a 'toaster'. Pretty much the same as that mini-heater I have in the apartment. That thing that makes toast, which is probably why it was called a toaster at one point. Because, you know... toasting things."

Khan says, "I have actually used a toaster, James. But these are not breakfast foods." He puts them back and keeps going. "I had not realized there were so many processed foods still being made."

"They are so breakfast foods," Jim protests, but follows after him. "You're not gonna find this stuff in grocery stores. It's all old-style candy, made specifically for Americandy outlets, and whoever the hell else sells this stuff." 

"A remarkable store," Khan says with a fond look at James. He pulls a box of Captain Crunch off a shelf and tosses it in their cart.

The blond laughs and examines the box. "You know, I've debated on getting these so many times, simply because this guy is supposed to be a captain. He's got the wrong stripes."

"I am prejudiced toward captains," Khan says and keeps walking. "Though I prefer my own."

"It's not prejudice if you've actually met captains. Then it's just a bias." Jim's still smiling, though, and keeps his eye out for cinnamon bears. He can't remember what aisle he's seen them on. 

Khan turns toward the chocolates, which hold more appeal to him. He asks, "Is there a limit on how much I can acquire?"

"Not as long as it fits in the car." Jim really doesn't care how much Khan wants to buy. The more the better, honestly. And it's not like Jim doesn't have the funds to cover it. He still hasn't quite gone through the credits they pilfered from pirates. 

Khan chuckles, "I don't think I will want that much." He looks over a variety of nuts mixed with chocolate, a favorite of his that he has not indulged in a long time. The cashews are of particular interest, and he selects a small bagful of the milk and dark chocolate clusters, followed by a few caramel turtles. "These are more my style."

"Chocolate and nuts, huh? At least you don't have to worry about me stealing your candies," Jim quips, helping to pick bags that look the freshest. 

"That had occurred to me," Khan says with a flash of a wicked grin at his lover. "I doubt any candies you can eat are safe from you."

"That's only because there's so few of them that are peanut- and everything else-free that I have to pounce on whatever I can." Jim scans the aisle, then meanders ahead a little, searching for candies made almost entirely of sugar, as those tend to be safe. 

"And because you have a large sweet tooth," Khan says, following after him. He chooses a few pieces of pure chocolate that his lover can enjoy with him, particularly some mixes of dark, milk and white chocolate.

Jim eyeballs the selection of chocolate. "You know what one is the best? The milk chocolate salted caramel. Have you had that before? It's so good." 

"I do not believe you sent that in any of my care packages," Khan says. "I would be happy to try some."

"I didn't?" Jim asks, absolutely scandalized by his grievous oversight. "Yes. That needs to be corrected. Right now." He grabs four large bars of the chocolate and puts them into the cart.

Khan discovers the chocolate covered cinnamon bears and fills up two large bags. He also pops one in his mouth to enjoy, as a few samples are allowed, before holding another one out to James, knowing he is not allergic.

Jim leans in and plucks the candy from Khan's fingers with his lips, curling his tongue around it and chewing thoughtfully. "That's not bad, actually. I think chocolate-covered caramel bears would be even more awesome." Jim loves the combination of chocolate and caramel. Or chocolate and nougat. Or chocolate and coffee. Chocolate and a lot of things, actually. 

"Mundane," Khan pronounces and keeps moving, heading for the next set of chocolates. He flashes a playful smile back at James, before perusing chocolate dipped dried fruits. "How about any of these?"

"Your face," Jim counters, equally playful, and he comes over with their cart to see what candies Khan has found. "Yogurt-covered raisins," he intones, scrunching his nose in distaste. "That sounds kinda gross. They look like the shits of a slug Spock once found." 

Khan's expression scrunches, and he says, "I will pass, as well, though I would not word it so grossly." He picks chocolate-covered apricots, peaches, pears, oranges, cherries and raisins. "These, on the other hand..." 

"Does it help that it was a giant slug?" Jim asks, holding his arms out wide to demonstrate and giving no hints as to whether he's bullshitting or telling the truth. "We have to get the cherries. That's a no-brainer."

Khan adds an entire bag of cherries for James and says, "Considering you want me to buy a giant gummy slug, I don't see how you think that helps."

"It's a worm, not a slug. Totally different things. And if Noonie pooped raisins, I would still eat him." 

Khan spares a moment to stare at him and then says, "There are times when words come out of your mouth, but no sense accompanies them." He returns to browsing, thinking he is about satisfied with his haul.

The blond just laughs at that, agreeing completely despite what it says about himself. He doesn't mind. He's pretty sure it's true. "What did you like when I brought you candies from Bones? I can't remember."

"The sour skittles were quite interesting," Khan says distractedly, trying to decide what the strange pacifier shaped bottle is for.

"Oh! Yeah, I'll go find those." Yeah, Jim can't figure out the baby-bottle either, so he's just going to shrug and head off for where the packet candy is. He's sure there's Sour Patch Kids over there, too. He loves those things. 

Khan moves through the mostly powdered sugary candies uninterestedly, as well as all the taffies. He pauses for some jellybeans and a few gummy bears, as well. He wonders at the amount of junk food he is allowing himself to indulge in and dismisses the notion. After all, he will have to eat this judiciously to last five years. He heads for his James, almost afraid to see what else he has picked out.

Jim's got himself loaded up with Skittles of various sorts, Sour Patch Kids, Swedish Berries, Cherry Blasters, and Fuzzy Peaches, which he dumps into the cart in a great armful. 

Khan looks over all the selections and asks, "Are you near done? You will rot all your teeth out at this rate." He pokes at the Fuzzy Peaches, which sound distinctly unappealing.

"Yep, yep," Jim chirps, pleased by the heaping pile of candy in the cart. "I think that oughtta do us for a while. Maybe a few months." He grins, just to make it seem like he's serious. 

This place is an experience," Khan says, looking at James with his intense gaze. "Thank you for sharing it with me."

"It is, yeah." Jim smiles and barely manages to keep from leaning in to kiss him. "I'm just glad you're here to experience it." 

"It is definitely not the kind of place Khan Noonien Singh, ruler of a quarter of the world, would ever indulge in," Khan admits with a slight quirk of his mouth. "There are benefits to no longer being that man."

"At least you've still got a voice that does ungodly things to my spine." The blond gives him a wink and then guides their cart up to the front so he can pay for all their candies. And at the last moment, he realizes they forgot about Noonie II. "Khan! You gotta pick out your worm!"

Khan raises his eyebrows at James and says in an innocent tone, "Imagine me forgetting my worm," and makes no move to get one.

"C'mooooooon," Jim pleads with him as the owner -- Bernie, if Jim remembers his name correctly -- looks between the two of them and tries to decide if he's going to be getting up on the ladder to retrieve one of the worms or not. 

"You wish the worm, you get the worm," Khan says. "You ate all of the last one." He eyes the owner until the other man looks away a little nervously.

"You make me sad sometimes," the blond replies and looks a little sullen. "If you get one, you could be the one to name it and eat it." 

Khan narrows his eyes, huffs once and then turns around, heading for the worms. He leaps nimbly up the wall and snatches the first worm within reach, before flipping back to the ground. Stalking over to the counter, he plops the worm in front of Bernie and says, "And one giant slug."

Jim very nearly giggles at that, mostly because poor Bernie looked like he was about to shit himself. "Worm," Jim corrects as he hands Bernie his credit chip to pay for it all. 

Bernie takes the chip and rings it through the till. "You fellas going to a party?"

"Nope!" Jim looks all-too-pleased by this. "It's all for us." He grabs a couple of bags and leaves the rest for Khan. "Thanks, Bernie!"

Khan leaves the worm on the counter and collects all the rest of the bags, heading after James. "Thank you, Sir," he calls back, not completely impolite and knowing he'd startled the other man.

Fine. Jim will carry the worm because he sure as hell isn't leaving it behind. He gets Bernie to put it over his shoulders like a shawl, even though the plastic wrapping is already making his neck itch. He thanks him again and then trots out after Khan with a broad grin on his face. "You just about gave the old guy a heart attack."

"It was unkind of me," Khan admits with a frown. "But you would have your slug. You'll clean up after him."

"No harm done. I think he'll be impressed after he changes his pants." Jim meanders down the street, heavy bags of candy in each hand and the worm playing sweet fashion accessory. "And Noonie II is not a slug," he adds defensively.

"Noonie II," Khan says dangerously and then sighs in defeat. After all, he won't be eating the monstrosity. "He will miss your economic support when the Enterprise is away."

Jim shakes his head, though he does worry about that a little bit. "I bet he gets lots of customers. It's not like there's another Americandy in San Fran." 

Khan eyes him and then chuckles a little. "You really do worry about everyone." He opens the hovercar and shoves in their candy, before relieving James of everything except the stupid worm.

There's no point in Jim even acknowledging the tease because it's true. Jim does worry about random people more than he should. Better than not, right? Right. "Hey, hey, be nice to the candies," he chides and packs them down a little more gently, setting Noonie II carefully on top before getting in himself. "Are we picking up food on the way or ordering delivery when we get there, or what?"

"I am not sure where we are going next," Khan says. "Do we need to head for the shuttlecraft now?"

"We can either book those tickets online while we eat, or we can pick up food on the way to the shuttleport and eat on the way and then order tickets when we get there."

"Let us do the first," Khan says, "so we may have eaten first. I will also change my outfit to something more appropriate. And we can put these purchases away."

"Okay. So, then that still means we have to pick up food on the way home. I'll drive. You get this thing to figure out where the closest edible Indian food is," Jim replies as he taps the built-in computer. 

"You wish Indian?" Khan asks with a curious look at James. "I am happy to choose something more to your tastes...like cheeseburgers."

"You're the one who said you wanted Indian food earlier. Right? I think?" Jim scrunches his nose. He thinks all the sex may have fried his brain.

"I have missed it," Khan says softly. "But I have missed all things edible."

"Then Indian food it is." Jim starts up the vehicle and pulls out into traffic, waiting for Khan to tell him which way he needs to go. 

Khan plays with the computer until he locates what appears to be a very authentic Indian restaurant. He puts in an order and sets the hovercar to give James the directions. "I have ordered your favorite."

"I have a favorite?" Jim asks, glancing over at the monitor, but the order has disappeared from the screen. He makes a left when directed and hopes to hell that it's nothing ridiculously spicy. 

"Busybellybath," Khan teases, using James' terrible pronunciation.

Jim squints. "That's the spicy rice thing, right? With the veggies?"

Khan laughs at James and shakes his head. "Indeed, my James. Indeed. I did order some items that you may eat safely."

"Good. It would suck to kiss you and end up looking like a balloon." That's happened to Jim before, and he knows from experience that it's not a pleasant thing by any means. As he makes a right, he thinks he knows this area. At least, he knows there's a pizza place around here that he regularly orders from. 

"I know how to handle that eventuality," Khan says easily and drops a hand back to his knee again, squeezing gently. "Ah, there it is. I shall go fetch the food and pay. I have a few credits left."

I know you do." Jim pulls the hovercar up out front and smiles over at Khan. "Don't take too long." He's willing to let the Augment pay for this one thing. He knows Khan probably feels like he needs to pay for something. 

Khan fetches the food, spending a few moment to speak to the owners of the restaurant, using a language he has not had an opportunity for in years. With a formal bow, he leaves, carrying an extra bag of food. 

When Khan gets back in the car, Jim gapes at him a little. "How the hell much food did you order?"

"Enough for a hungry augment," Khan says. "I don't know what you're going to eat."

"Bullshitter," Jim accuses as he pulls back out onto the street and heads for the apartment. 

"I spoke to the kind family who runs the restaurant, and they gave me some complimentary food that is too hot for their regular customers." Khan indicates the extra bag. "I shall have to eat all of that."

"I'm going to die on this trip," Jim morosely replies. 

"That is an unkind thing to say," Khan reminds him, but with quiet affection.

"Says the guy who brought a whole bag of food that I can't eat." Jim tries to wallow a little while he's driving. "Woe is me. I'll have to subsist on candy and plastic wrappers."

Khan squeezes his knee and says, "I told you I bought an entire bag you can eat, and I promise to brush my teeth and otherwise ensure no allergic reactions before I kiss you again. Now hush."

Jim supposes he can live with that and his mood brightens again. "I don't think you really want me to be quiet for the rest of the night."

"Ten minutes wouldn't kill me," Khan says, but still with that affection for his James.

Jim looks at the clock and then shuts his jaw with a click of his teeth. He probably won't make it the full ten minutes. 

Khan tilts his head toward James and smiles softly, stroking over his leg with gentle fingers. He allows the silence to soothe him, along with the presence of his lover. James is always so active, so alive and full of energy and vitality, and usually, that fills a need in Khan. But now, he enjoys the quiet, patterning his breathing with James'.

Jim doesn't know how he's managing to have Khan's hand all over his thigh and not getting hard. It's a miracle, or something. Or maybe it's just because everything really is quiet and calm and he doesn't want to ruin that with his usual, boisterous behavior. Remarkably, the silence lasts until Jim pulls into the underground parking for the apartment complex and gets out of the car so he can start collecting bags and worms. 

Khan moves to where James is reaching for candy, checks their surroundings and then lifts him off his feet, turning him easily. He presses him against the side of the car and rewards his kindness with a long, drugging kiss. He sucks on James' tongue and lips, slides his own tongue deep into his lover's mouth to map out every inch and only lets him go when he fears James might collapse from lack of air.

Jim makes a little noise of surprise when he's manhandled, thinking for a moment that he was going to fall, but by the time Khan's done with him, he's lightheaded and flushed and happy. He looks at Khan, lips a little swollen and cheeks pink and, somehow, manages not to say anything. He just smiles, brushes his fingers against his lover's cheek, and then goes to collect his bags again. There's still a minute left of his silence. 

Khan leans over James as he bends to collect the bags and scrapes his teeth possessively over the mark on his nape, before gathering up a large quantity of bags himself- clothes, food and candy.

Jim bites back a groan and twists to give Khan a look that says "I know what you're up to". And goddamnit, it's making Jim a little hard, too, so he gathers the bags, Noonie II around his neck, and locks the car before heading for the lift. 

Khan just smiles at his lover and follows after him, content to watch his ass move as he walked. He shakes his head to clear his mind out of the gutter and crowds James into the lift, kissing his neck softly and then mouthing over the tender areas. 

"Don't hurt Noonie II," Jim murmurs as he tips his head back, pressing it against the wall of the lift to give Khan room. Those kisses are doing absolutely nothing to discourage his cock from hardening. 

Khan makes a disgruntled noise and bites down on his mark of claim, sucking vigorously at the spot. He refuses to let any damned candy slug get in the way, especially one his own pain-in-the-ass lover has deemed Noonie II.

"Mm, baby, that feels good," Jim admits, somewhat forgetting about the gummy worm. Khan's teeth usually have that effect on him, whether he wants them to or not. 

Khan makes a growl of agreement and releases James as the lift opens. He strolls out ahead of him and then pauses, realizing he has never been to James' apartment. "I will make you feel better later," he promises softly.

"I'll hold you to that," Jim murmurs as he steps out of the lift after Khan, a little dizzy from the blood in his brain having suddenly redirected elsewhere. He leads the way down to his door and sets down some of the bags so he can get at his keycard. He slips it into the slot and opens the door, collecting the bags again before heading inside. "C'mon in." 

Khan wanders in with his armful of bags and takes a quick glance around the apartment. "I believe you would call this a bachelor pad," he says with amusement.

Yeah, well, I've had it for all of three weeks and barely lived in it. It's not gonna be luxurious," Jim replies, heading for the kitchen to deposit their food. 

The place truly isn't luxurious, but it's not a hovel, either. It's got all the basic furniture: a couch, coffee table, entertainment center, dining and room table with four chairs (apparently, they were counting on the occupant having company). It's all done up in whites and light-colored, replicated wood while the walls are painted a robin's egg blue. Or maybe it's modeled on Andorian skin tones. Hell if Jim knows. 

The kitchen, partly segmented from the living room and entry provides stainless steel appliances and (probably fake) granite countertops. Jim hasn't done much cooking outside of mac 'n' cheese and hot dogs and the occasional meal of eggs and toast. 

Khan carries the food and candy into the kitchen, depositing it on the counters. He hauls the clothes to the bedroom and tosses them in somewhat casually, before heading back to the kitchen. There, he begins to plate up all the food, making sure they both have formal plates and silverware, since he knows James will just eat out of the cartons. He puts the safe food next to James' plate and the hot, allergy causing foods next to his own. "What to drink?"

Jim opens the fridge and checks inside, hmming as he searches. "We've got ...beer. And apple juice. What do you want?" 

"Apple juice," Khan says. "If you please. I do not care for beer. It's rather like yak pee."

"This stuff is Canadian. Much less like yak piss," Jim says with a grin, though he grabs the apple juice and two glasses, bringing them over to the table. Heading back to the kitchen, he checks out what his options for food are and starts loading up his plate. "So, these ones here are okay for me to eat, right?" he asks a little belatedly.

Khan looks over his choices and says, "Yes, you have managed to prevent any life-threatening choices. That may be a first for you." He begins filling his own plate.

"Not a first. Maybe a third or fourth," the blond replies, taking his plate and utensils, and even a napkin, over to the table so he can sit down and eat. He's hungry!

Khan joins him in a moment and tangles their legs together under the table as soon as he sits down. He digs in with an increased appetite, one he has not indulged since being imprisoned. Even the knowledge of visiting his people's burial site cannot slow him down. Besides, he takes solace from James. "How long do we have?"

"I don't know yet. Give me a few minutes to stuff my face so I'm not dying and then I'll go order our tickets," Jim says around a mouthful of rice. He's pretty sure he left his PADD in the living room. 

Khan snorts in amusement and returns to his own food. He enjoys the extremely spicy flavors of his dishes and says, "I have not had food this good in recent memory."

Every few bites, Jim has to wave his hand at his face as if that will cool his tongue off. "Yeah." Wave. "Pretty good!" Wave, wave. 

"And I ordered you the mild food," Khan says with a little frown. He reaches out to spear a piece of tandoori chicken from James' plate.

Jim doesn't even complain when Khan steals some of his food. "Mild for you, maybe. These are the same people who make food nobody but you can eat." 

"Well, those with a native palette," Khan explains, chewing James' chicken and finding it very mild indeed. "Perhaps next time I should ask for no spice for you."

"At least I'll have a nice, long break before next time rolls around." Jim sucks in a breath to soothe his tongue and then he drinks some of his apple juice. 

Khan laughs and says, "I suppose that is all too true." He considers his lover with a thoughtful expression. "Are you truly not at all sad to leave your world behind?"

"I was born out in space and ever since I was little, I've dreamed of being out in the stars, even if I wanted nothing to do with Starfleet. The Enterprise is my home and while I'll always defend Earth against threats, I'm okay with only coming back here once a year or so." Jim abandons his food for now to go find his PADD, which is conveniently on the coffee table. Thank you, past self. 

"You are a true star child," Khan says. "I am glad that you shall not miss this planet, James, for true homesickness, especially incurable, is hard to bear." He stands to fetch a bit more food. 

"As long as I've got my ship to go back to, I'll never be homesick." Jim smiles a little to himself and comes back to the table with his PADD, already searching for flights to England. "There's a shuttle that leaves in," Jim checks the time, "two hours and twelve minutes." 

"How far to the port and how far in advance do you need to take a prisoner on parole to get through security?" Khan asks, not teasing at all. He wonders if the Enterprise would be home without him.

"Twenty-minute drive there, probably an hour through security. So we have probably an hour to get out the door." Jim's not even gonna comment on the 'prisoner' bit. Khan's not a prisoner anymore. Not in Jim's eyes, at least.

"I should like to shower and change into something appropriate," Khan says, "but I would also like to spend that hour wrapped around you. It is a pretty problem."

"Have your shower. I'll finish eating and clean up. Then we can pack a change of clothes for tomorrow and snuggle until we have to leave. How about that?" Jim offers. 

"I would like that," Khan says with a smile and a nod. He finishes his apple juice, takes his plates to the dishwasher and then heads for the shower. "Are all the necessary soaps present?"

"What do you think I've been washing with for three weeks?" Jim asks with a laugh as he spoons more food into his mouth. He's not a complete neanderthal.

"I was more worried you may have used it all up in your vanity," Khan says. "You are very zealous about your hair."

"I'm so, so not." Jim barely even bothers to brush it when it gets up in the morning. "I'm just lucky."

Khan laughs as he walks into the bathroom, not even closing the door. He strips efficiently out of his current outfit and climbs into the shower, washing himself off with ruthless care. He does not care about his appearance, so he does not linger long. But it feels lovely to wash away the prison. And when he is washed and dried, he heads right back out to James, naked.

Jim's in the kitchen by then, having already purchased their tickets and gone on to putting his dishes in the washer, and he looks over when he hears Khan's quiet padding on the plush, carpeted floors. "Oh... Wow. This is a treat." Jim's just going to take a minute to admire him.

Khan just keeps advancing until he's kissing James, arms around his waist, tight, but also gentle. "It seemed foolish to get dressed before I put my hands on you. That would only wreck the outfit."

"Good po-- Oh hell." That reminds Jim of something else. "There's still come stains in the car." 

Khan waits for an explanation as to why he should care about that and when none comes, he starts mauling James' neck again. Really, they could have sprayed the ceiling with the stuff, and he would be happy to return it that way.

Well, to be honest, there would have been an explanation if Khan had given him more than two seconds to come up with one. Not that Jim's complaining now. Those teeth and lips on his neck are sending welcome shivers down his spine and he slips his hands down his lover's sides to his ass, kneading into the firm globes. "Car? What car?"

Khan rumbles an affirmative to that particular question and then lifts James to the counter. He pushes up his shirt and latches on to the nearest nipple, sucking with the kind of attention that others devote to serious religious problems.

Jim moans, spreading his thighs so Khan can nestle between them and takes the opportunity to pull his shirt entirely off and toss it into the living room. He's more than willing to let Khan tease and roll his nipple for as long as he wants. 

Khan pushes James back a little to access the softness of the skin of his abdomen, biting lightly at the well-defined muscles. He tugs at his happy trail and then looks up at him through his lashes. "Is sucking you off twice in an afternoon too much?

"It's never too much if my cock still works, and I'm pretty damn sure that it still does." Jim reaches out to curl his fingers into Khan's hair, tugging lightly.

"It might be dangerous to spoil you so much," Khan says and leans down to rub his cheek tantalizingly over the bulge of James' groin. "Perhaps that is a bad example to set."

"My ass is still sore from the last example," Jim says, as if that will somehow win points in his favor. He pushes his hips forward an inch, pressing back against Khan's cheek. 

Khan hums a little at the pleasant memory and then removes James' shorts with efficiency born of practice. And desire. He strokes over the bare skin of his thighs and then takes his cock in a firm, but tender, hand. "I could just tease."

That sudden contact around Jim's shaft makes the blond whimper quietly and he shoves the knife block out of the way so he can spread his legs wider and encourage Khan do to more than just hold him. "You could, but that would be mean." 

"And I am never mean to my James," Khan purrs and hoists James right up without any effort at all. He spreads wide James' legs, encouraging them over his shoulders and searches behind the heavy fall of his balls. 

"Whoa." Jim wasn't anticipating that and he braces himself against the counter on his elbows. The startlement is soon forgotten in favor of watching Khan's hand slip between his legs and the anticipation of what will follow. "If you're gonna keep rubbing my perineum like that, I guess I can forgive you." 

Khan wraps his arm tighter around James' and goes in to lick his perineum, making it nice and wet. He uses the extra strength of his muscle to work the area, providing a real massage with his tongue.

Jim moans loudly at that, struggling not to clamp his thighs together and trap Khan between his legs. Not that he thinks the Augment couldn't get out of it easily enough. He mewls and then bites at his lower lip, cheeks flushing a deep red as he watches his lover to depraved and glorious things to him. 

Khan sighs and gently eases James down, knowing the position will not be comfortable for long. "Let's go to bed for a little while?" he asks, wanting to lose the time in pleasure.

"Yes," Jim murmurs, already slightly out of breath. "Please." 

Khan swoops James into his arms and carries him toward the bedroom. "I have missed being able to do this," he confides, before lowering his lover to the mattress and following close behind.

"I could get used to you carrying me around all over the place," Jim admits, smiling a little. He's not sure Khan would appreciate being his personal palanquin. Still, he's eager to have the Augment back within reach andtugs him down to lay on top of him. "Long time, no see."

Khan props himself up, just above James and kisses him, sealing only their lips together. "You make me want to do everything to you again, my James."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Jim teases, darting his tongue out to lick it along Khan's lip. 

Khan laughs and lowers his body to cover James completely, pressed up against him tight. "There is nothing back about being this close to you, except the temptation never to move again."

"You don't have to go anywhere for the next, what, 45 minutes? Not as long as you just... put your cock in me." Jim smiles up at him, looking absolutely devious, though he's trying for a more innocent look. 

Khan growls low and asks, "Are you not rather sore from our last encounter, my James?"

"Use lots of lube," Jim suggests helpfully. 

Khan snorts and says, "Fetch some for me then, James." He rolls off him and waits with a little smile.

Evil warmonger," Jim accuses, glaring at him a bit before he rolls out of the bed and heads for the bathroom, where he knows a fresh bottle of lube is just waiting to be cut out of its packaging. He returns shortly after, lube in hand, and comes back to join Khan on the bed. "Here."

"I am not sure you deserve the attention," Khan says with a raised eyebrow, "after such a cruel insinuation."

Jim squirms his way under Khan and then wraps his legs around his lover's hips. "Really?"

Khan smiles at James' flexibility and persistence and takes the lubricant. "You are most persuasive...though I am not a warmonger." He flicks open the cap and spreads some of the slick on his fingers. "Be cooperative and let me do this." He slides his hand down and presses on finger all the way in.

"Cockmonger, then," Jim says with a grin spread across his face, though that grin fades when there's a long finger suddenly pressing into him. "Oh, fuck," he moans, clenching around Khan's finger to relish that burn. 

"So tight still," Khan worries and moves the finger in and out. "Does that hurt?" He dislikes the noise James made, the way he clamped down.

"No, it's okay. I'm fine. Keep going." Jim squirms a little, but then he stills again, sucking in his breath to steady himself. It does sting, but he knows that will fade into something more pleasurable soon.

"Very well," Khan says, "but tell me if it becomes too much or I need tp slow. I will not hurt you for my pleasure."

"I know, baby. You never have." Jim tugs him in for a kiss, flexing his internal muscles around Khan in waves. 

Khan eases in a second finger at James' assurance and tenderly tries to encourage the muscle to relax for him. He deepens the kiss to hungrily explore James' mouth, as well, drinking him in. He knows he is being demanding, but needs his lover right now.

Jim is, as always, willing to give. He relaxes when he feels a second finger working its way into him, letting out a long, low hum into that kiss. The discomfort is still managable, so he bites lightly at Khan's tongue, teasing him like the sucker for punishment that he is. 

Khan growls lightly at the biting, but there is nothing but affection in the noise. He taps a third finger against James' hole, wondering if he wants the added stretch. He tangles their tongues deliberately and just keeps kissing, wanting James breathless.

The blond is already most of the way there. Khan has a way of stealing his breath with kisses like these, and the hiss he lets out at the thought of a third takes the last of it. Still, he pushes his ass against his lover's hand, giving him the cue to continue anyway. 

Khan parts their mouths to allow James to breathe and slips his third finger in to join the other two. They twist and spread in tandem for a few moments, until Khan feels James is ready. "I wish to be in you now." 

Jim quivers, ass feeling a little too tight still, so he shakes his head. "Just... a little more, okay?" He might have overdone it a slight bit earlier. Next time, he'll know to pack lube in the car. 

Khan dislikes the way James shivers and says, "Perhaps we should let your poor posterior be, my James. There are many ways of pleasure." He withdraws his fingers and rubs them gently over the abused hole.

"No!" Jim quietly cries, not liking the sudden departure, and clamps Khan's hips in place with his knees. "No. I want this. I just need a little more stretching."

Khan kisses him and says, "All right. All right. I will do as you ask." He adds copious amounts of lube to his fingers and then works a single one back into his lover again. He presses carefully at James' passage, wanting to loosen without causing more distress.

Jim purrs at having Khan inside him again and the lube makes him feel a little tingly on the inside. That single finger is good, but he knows he can handle more. "You can put the other two back in. I just need time to get comfortable with that much stretch."

"I will do this my way," Khan says sternly and continues maneuvering the one finger to open the way. "You need more care than you allow me to give."

Jim does acknowledge that he's generally got a problem in that area, yes, but he also doesn't think that's the issue right now. Still, he blows out a slow breath and forces himself to just sink into the mattress and let his lover take the reins. "Okay." 

Khan peppers James' face and neck with kisses, even as he slides a second finger inside him. He separates them as much as possible and by a twisting motion, stretches out his lover further. "Thank you, my James."

That garners a quiet moan, more a hum than anything else. That burn isn't as much as it was before, and the stretch is starting to feel good. "Mm, that's good, baby. Can't wait to have you inside me."

Khan nibbles at his lips with an answering murmur, "Not until you're ready, good and slick and open for me." He sweeps his free hand down James' stomach and gently encircles his cock.

"Okay." Jim just gives in, sprawling loose and relaxed in the bed, managing not to buck up into his lover's hand, though it takes some concentration. "I should have bought a cock ring..."

"Are you already near?" Khan questions, hand dropping lower to test his balls, cupping the full sack. "I would have thought you had some better control."

"No, that's not it." The blond lets out a happy sigh at the light squeeze to his balls. "I was just thinking it would be kinky if I didn't get to come until just before we had to leave."

Khan snorts and kisses him softly, before pulling back again. "You are capable of keeping yourself from coming, are you not?"

"How the hell am I gonna do that if you're going to be fucking me senseless?" Jim asks incredulously. 

Khan laughs softly and says, "Well, I suppose you have a point." He accentuated that by pressing firmly against James' prostate.

A strangled groan erupts from the blond and he wriggles his hips, suddenly desperate to get a little more of that pleasure. "Fucking tease."

"You do like to call me that," Khan says with a nip to James' mouth. "However, I feel that it is undeserved. I always make sure you get your due pleasure." He wiggles a third finger inside James.

"Or maybe it's completely deserved," Jim whines as he's stretched a little more by those long, dexterous fingers. He knows he's lucky that his lover is so attentive to him, taking care of his every need, sometimes before he even knows he needs it. "I love you anyway..."

"Oh, I see..." Khan narrows his eyes at James and twists his fingers in deeper than ever. "So, you would love me more than you do if I were not a tease?"

"N-no," Jim stutters, squeezing his eyes shut and turning his face to the side to bury it in the sheets. "I'd love you the same."

Khan gently removes his fingers again and cups James' cheek with his other hand, urging him to turn his head so he can see his face. "Why are you hiding?"

"I'm not hiding," Jim replies, voice quiet and cheeks still flushed crimson with arousal. He looks up at his lover through the veil of his eyelashes. "Who says I'm hiding?"

"I do," Khan says and brushes his lips over each eyelid. "Are you ready now, my James?"

"I am not yet prepared," Khan reminds him, nuzzling at the rumble in James' throat. "Shall you do so or will I?"

Jim holds out his hand and the corner of his lip curls up in a smile. "Give me some lube and I'll get you as slick as you want."

Khan hands him the bottle and cautions, "I should like you to make very slick indeed, my James. I need to take care with you this time."

Jim gestures for him to come closer. "In that case... How about I start with my mouth? You wanna fuck my throat, baby?" 

Khan pauses and then lightly touches James' lips with a gentle fingertip. "We do not have the time for that, I fear."

Jim pouts a little. He was sort of looking forward to that, but then nods and squirts some lube into his hands, warming it up before he reaches out and smoothes it into Khan's cock with firm, deft strokes. "I guess this'll have to do, then. Raincheck on the oral sex?"

"I will want you in every position I can when we have the time, my James," Khan purrs, hips arching toward James' talented hands. "And I shall give you the same...everything."

"Noonien... You already give me everything." Jim smiles up at him, rubbing his thumb over the tip of the Augment's cock, sliding against the slit and teasing around the rim of the glans. 

Khan groans low in his throat and bucks into the teasing touch, head hanging down toward his lover. "James. Please. I want you."

Jim arches up just enough to kiss him, teeth grazing Khan's lips. "It's so hot when you beg for me." He gives his lover's shaft a gentle tug, beckoning him forward. "Come on."

Khan refuses to be rushed on his way inside James, though, wanting to be certain not to hurt his lover. He braces himself on one strong arm and uses the other to guide himself into position. "I would do so much more than beg," he whispers and breaches his lover with a tenderness that used to be beyond his reach.

Jim keeps himself loose, head tipped back as he feels Khan slowly pressing into him, spreading him open and filling him up to perfection. "Fuck... Good." This is something only Khan can give him. 

"Good," Khan echoes against James' lips and then kisses them softly. He angles up his hips to rub against his lover's prostate with short, quick thrusts. "You're so good to me, James. You feel perfect around me." He bites lightly at his ear.

A needy moan fills the room and Jim follows it up with a whimper, pleasure surging through him with the way Khan keeps hammering into his prostate like that. It's so good, he's already panting. "F-fuuuck. Yes, right there."

Khan rests their foreheads together and murmurs, "Open your eyes, my James. I want to look into them while we are together." He continues the same movements that James responds so well to. 

Jim finally cracks his eyes back open, peering up at Khan, full of trust and affection and want. "Hi," he breathes, as if he hasn't seen the Augment for a while. "Fancy seeing an attractive man like you here..."

"James," Khan breathes and nuzzles his cheek affectionately. "I hope I will be welcome here often." His thrusts slow and deepen, nearly pulling out each time.

"All the time. Whenever you want." Jim searches out Khan's hand and twines their fingers together, even if his are still dirty with lube. He loves how deep his lover can get inside him. It feels like miles. 

Khan takes that hand and stretches it out over James' head, resting their palms firmly together. He keeps his own weight up easily with one arm, hips moving fluidly and without pause. "Not that often. I'd never leave."

"What, you want me to kick you out sometimes?" Jim asks quietly with a hint of amusement, letting himself tighten a little around the brunet's shaft to give them both a little bit more pleasure. 

Khan grunts low in his chest at the clench and then nips lightly at James lip in retaliation for words and action. "You know very well what I mean," he says.

"Maybe," Jim lightly teases, but then he moans, becoming a little bit breathless. "You feel so good inside me." Every thrust massages him in just the right way until Jim's spine feels like it's not made of bone anymore and he wants to just fall to pieces. 

"Don't hold back on me, James," Khan croons to him, voice low and loving. "I want you to enjoy my being inside you. I want you so badly, my James."

"I've never not enjoyed you being inside me," the blond affectionately points out, squeezing their fingers together and rolling his hips up against him with every thrust. "But if you really do want me in every position, you'd better chance soon or I'm going to come before we even get anywhere." 

"Not today," Khan says and nuzzles into James' neck, inhaling his musk deeply. "We do not have time, and I do not have patience. And I would draw out our activities over months...years...decades."

"So much for the whole Kama Sutra in one go." Jim tightens his ass more, clamping down as hard as he can, wanting to feel every single inch of Khan with every thrust. 

Khan growls and freezes in place, eyes wide and full of hazy pleasure. "James." He forces down the urge to come, shivering a little at the effort. In a moment, he finds his control and blinks down at his lover again, amused. "You wish to do all of the Kama Sutra in one go?"

"Do you think we can?" Jim knows they probably only have half an hour or so before they need to pack their things and go, but... that might be enough time. 

Khan snorts and says, "I think we will...but not tonight. And certainly not when you have been a bit sore." He licks into his mouth and sucks lightly at his lower lip, tugging it once.

Jim whines a little, but quickly relents under those pleasurable ministrations. "Mm, okay. You promise?" He really wants that at some point. 

Khan chuckles lightly and says, "You cannot doubt that I, too, desire that with you, my James. That I have not spent many long nights in prison fantasizing about all the ways we would make love when I returned. So many lovely ways."

"I'll trust you to show me them all." The blond slips his tongue into his lover's mouth, tasting wherever he can and conveying just how much he wants that. Jim's good at fucking. Khan shows him how to make love. 

Khan sucks at James' tongue eagerly and in counterpoint to his working hips. He speeds up now, wanting to drive them both to a magnificent climax. That will allow him a little time to curl around his lover and bask before they have to separate and get ready.

It's definitely working. Jim keens and pants, mouth dropping open as trembles surge through his muscled frame. He barely gets time to stutter out a warning before he's spurting on his abdomen and mewling for his lover. 

Khan drops his head and just plows into James as his lover orgasms under him. He careens himself toward that finish he needs, the pleasure radiating throughout him and building in almost unbearable waves, before finally crashing over in a surge that makes him yell delightedly in James' ear. He hopes with his last functioning brain cells that his lover's hearing will be all right.

There's ringing in Jim's ear, but he honestly can't tell if that's from the force of his own orgasm or from Khan's moaning. Not that he minds either, since the spots in his vision are tantalizingly distracting and his head is swimming in bliss. "Mm, I'm gonna sleep the whole flight..." 

Khan fights the urge to just crash his weight down on James now that his orgasm has passed and manages to slide out and to the side with a last bit of effort. He crushes himself to James, plastered against his length, and clings, eyes shut and body trembling. He needed that release with his lover so very much, but James' words remind him of what's to come, so the basking period gets shoved aside somewhat brutally by reality.

Jim turns to snuggle against him, half-sprawling himself out on top of Khan, instead, nosing at him and mouthing affectionate, wet kisses along his collarbone. 

Khan wraps an arm around his lover and strokes through the wildness of his hair. "Thank you," he murmurs softly. "You are ever good to me, my James."

"Just returning the favor," Jim whispers, sucking lightly at Khan's skin. "I love you."

Khan answers softly, "I love you, as well. And I will need your support for what is to come. Even in the circle of your arms, here in your bed, I dread it." He tugs James closer and presses his face into his neck, inhaling his scent, the smell of family and home. All he has left of either.


	30. ...Isn't Free

As it turns out, getting to Heathrow wasn't going to be as easy as originally planned. When Jim booked them in and the San Francisco Shuttleport security agents learned that Khan Noonien Singh would be traveling on a flight, there was a bit of a fiasco. At one point, Jim thought they were both going to be subdued with riot gas, but thankfully, he was able to smooth things out with a call to Starfleet, who'd assured the security agents that Khan had, indeed, been released into Captain Kirk's care and was cleared for travel outside of San Francisco. 

Obviously, Jim thinks, since Khan will soon be on the other end of the Alpha Quadrant. 

Six long hours later, they land in England. On the plus side, they'd been upgraded to first class seats, if only so that they'd have a private little cabin and nobody else would have to see them. From there, Jim rents another hovercar and makes a two-hour drive East to a tiny town near the Welsh coast called Marloes, where he parks and gets out of the car, gesturing for Khan to follow. "It's a bit of a walk this way." 

Khan spends the whole trip quiet and subdued, even when the security at the spaceport drew their weapons on him and threatened to kill a lot of innocent bystanders in their nervousness. He barely shows a flicker of emotion, too focused on the end of the journey to give much effort to the trip itself. Fortunately, James is there to handle the details because he did not want to even think about them. For once, he wants someone to lean on. 

The shuttle flight is long and dull, and Khan uses the time to think about the family he is about to say a final farewell too. After this, he resolves never to think on them again with such focus. They must be left to a past that he has long lost, to be remembered now and then for a fleeting moment, but no more. If he is to survive in this time, on the Enterprise, with his James, then he must finally let the past go.

But it's hard. Not a few tears splash silent down his face, as he thinks on each person now scattered to the winds. Joaquim, his strong second, who never showed anything but support. Mila, Joaquim's faithful wife, a formidable scientist who had been one of the few to dare challenge his wisdom. Audreen, of the enviable blonde locks, who charmed all men, but preferred her own gender, to the chagrin of many discarded suitors. So many lives, snuffed out forever, fter coming so close to the second chance they'd all dared to hope for. Only Khan, their ultimately useless leader, left behind. When the thoughts get too hard, he presses his face into James' throat for a moment and drinks in the scent of the last member of his family to live. And that gives him a moments respite.

By the time they arrive at their destination, Khan feels emotionally worn, but there is still the most important part remaining. So, he climbs out of the hovercar and says, "Please lead on, James." 

Jim reaches out for Khan's hand to guide him, uncaring at this point of who sees them. It's a small town in the morning. Most people are already at work, not out lollygagging. He takes them down a path to the west that goes on for a kilometer or so through grassy hills that eventually lead them out onto a bluff overlooking green-topped cliffs and a crescent-shaped, white-sand beach that's completely devoid of swimmers. The tide is still going out, revealing more and more of the beach as it travels. 

"They're out there," Jim says, gesturing at the green-blue ocean, voice somewhat sombre. "I thought they'd appreciate the quiet here, away from Starfleet and big cities."

Khan nods to James and says, "Thank you, James," in a soft tone. He turns toward the sea and takes a few moments to acclimate himself to the sight. The site pleases him in its peacefulness and beauty. Despite being far from any home they had ever known, Khan feels they would all have loved this place. 

Taking a deep breath, he lifts the grouping of seventy-two flowers of multiple species that he purchased at a floral shop prior to their beginning the trek out here. For each flower, he speaks a name and one good thing he remembers about the person. 

Jim sits himself down on the edge of the bluff and watches the ocean drifting further out, revealing more and more of that beautiful sand. He doesn't say anything. He just listens quietly to Khan and thinks that his crew would be honored by his dedication to them. Jim knows he's truly privileged to be a recipient of it, as well. Even when Khan has named all seventy-two flowers, Jim says nothing, but the spot next to him is open in silent invitation.

Khan spends a few moments in silent contemplation, aware of the tears still moistening his cheeks. He knows James will not think less of him for their presence, but his instincts still are too hide them. And for that reason alone, he makes his way over to sit beside his lover. His Captain. He swore that this would be his last homage to the past, now gone. And with that past must go the last traces of Khan Noonien Singh, ruler of a quarter of the world. That man died with the rest of his crew.

What he is now remains to be seen. That will be dictated in part by the man beside him. 

"This place was well chosen," Khan says quietly. "I believe I can let the dead rest here in peace."

Jim leans over enough to sling his arm around Khan's shoulders and hold his lover close. "Good. I'm glad. We can stay here for a bit and just watch the tide, if you want," he offers, not sure whether Khan would want to leave right away or not.

"How long do we have until we must leave?" Khan asks, considering the options. He is of two minds- part of him wishes to stay for a last few minutes with his lost family and the other half thinks the time has come to move on.

Jim does some rough calculation. "Well, it's a two-hour trip back to the airport. Another hour for check in. Shuttle leaves again in four and a half hours...so we can do what we want for an hour and a bit." 

Khan nods once and then asks quietly, "May we walk together along the ocean for awhile? I should like very much to do so."

"Of course, baby." Jim carefully stands up so he doesn't fall off the short cliff and then offers Khan his hand. 

Khan entangles their fingers and then moves forward to press their foreheads together. His eyes and cheeks are still damp, the sorrow in them shining only too brightly. He breathes in the presence of his lover, his family and says, "I shall never have another family such as the one I just bid farewell to."

Jim kisses him tenderly, stroking his thumb over Khan's knuckles. "I know. They can't be replaced and nobody's asking you to replace them."

"I must leave the part of me that wants to be out there with them behind," Khan says. "I regret that you are getting only the ruins of a man." 

"I wouldn't have reached out to the old you. I don't think you'd have wanted anything to do with me, anyway." Jim presses closer to his lover, trying to offer as much comfort as he can despite knowing that nothing he can do can make Khan's pain go away entirely. 

Khan wraps an arm tightly around James and keeps their other hands tangled gently. He kisses James' eyelids with tenderness and murmurs, "In some ways, I seem to have been most foolish."

Jim smiles faintly and wraps Khan in a full hug, squeezing firmly. "We don't have to be foolish going forward. No matter what, it's you and me. I'll never abandon you." 

"I am sure we will each have our own brands of foolishness going forward," Khan says, accepting now that he was not perfect. That had taken a lot of time and self-reflection. He holds his lover for a few moments, allowing himself to draw strength from their embrace. And then he steps away and says, "Please, let us walk awhile. Give me some time to gather myself back together for our journey."

Jim takes Khan's hand again and leads him away from the bluff and down towards the gentle slope that will take them all the way down to the beach. "If anybody excels at unique brands of foolishness, it's me," he quips.

"I have come to love most of them," Khan confesses, "even when they baffle me to the extreme."

"At least they baffle everybody evenly," Jim replies, leaning over to peck Khan's cheek. 

"A shame," Khan says, slanting a glance at his lover. "I was hoping a friend like your Bones might help me deal with them more effectively."

"What?" Jim looks aghast. "You mean he hasn't given you the workbook on Handling Jim Kirk 101?"

Khan bumps him gently and reminds in a low tone, "He does not care much for me, James. And he does care for you." There is a sorrow in that voice, a reminder that Khan's family is buried behind him, but James' lives in the stars, lives to defend him.

Jim gives Khan's hand a squeeze and tries to reassure him with a smile. "I think you're starting to grow on him. I mean, the guy was willing to stick himself on a ship with the two of us, so that must say something." 

"It says that you are extremely fortunate in your friendship with him," Khan says with a slight smile for the Southern doctor. "And I will do my best to, if not become his friend, at least to be his ally. I will protect him second only to you."

Jim kicks his shoes and socks off as soon as they reach sand so he can revel in the feel of it between his toes, even if the day is somewhat cool. "You two will get along if only so you can have joint bitching fests at me," he replies with a quirk of his lips. 

Khan refrains from commenting on the bare feet and just keeps walking next to his lover. He feels the cool breeze on his face and imagines it blowing away the residual feelings of loss and loneliness. He glances back at his playful lover and finds a smile, a spark of warmth inside him for the utter, unabashed nature of James. "I am sure there will be some common ground in that regard."

Jim looks contemplative and then his expression suddenly turns sour. "Oh, God. What if you both nag me about my food? No more bacon... no more hamburgers..." He's already lamenting the loss of his favorite foods. 

Khan stares at him and then asks, "Since when do you ever listen to either of us about such things?"

"I'll have to if there's both of you going at it and then I bet Spock will jump in because there will be a serious numbers advantage." Jim's frown is almost comical with how much of his face it takes up. 

Khan stops in his tracks and uses the hand in Jim's to turn him around and into Khan's arms. Senses telling him they are well alone, he leans in and kisses his lover breathless. "Just imagine how terrible it will be because there is no compensation for such horror," he says and then lifts Jim off his feet for another kiss.

"Mm!" Jim's moan is muffled by Khan's lips, so he just wraps his other arm around his lover's waist and strokes at his lower back fondly. He thinks this probably means that Khan has been distracted from his sorrow. 

Khan allows James to slide back to the ground and then turns to walk again. "However, I do believe we should improve your diet and exercise regime."

"Oh, hell." Jim laughs and then trots after his lover, smirking a little mischievously. "How about you be responsible for my exercise?"

"I was thinking I might be able to make it a bit more rigorous," Khan says. "And more frequent even then you are used to."

"I wanna spar with you!" Jim's actually excited about that. He wants to roll around on the mats with Khan in a entirely non-sexual manner. 

Khan eyeballs him and then says, "I suppose that might improve your skills, as long as I do not put in too much effort."

Jim glances over at him. "You won't hurt me." He's absolutely certain of that. 

Khan quirks him a faint smile and says, "Thank you, my James, for that confidence and faith in me. I shall endeavor to live up to it."

Jim leans in and kisses Khan's cheek, and then grabs Khan's hand to tug him down closer to the water so Jim can walk in the waves. "I'll always have faith in you." 

Khan watches James splash about with a soft smile for his playfulness. "You are perhaps a little addlepated about me."

"Addlepated, huh? S'that mean I love you?" The blond looks over at him, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

"That's what I mean," Khan murmurs, watching the playfulness with open enjoyment and love of his own.

"Oh, good. Then you're entirely accurate," Jim replies with a nod, trying not to keep his toes in the water for too long at a time. It's cold!

"Not entirely accurate?" Khan asks and allows a note of hurt in his voice.

"What? No." Jim reaches over and pinches Khan's ear with a smirk. "You've got wax in your ears. I said you're entirely accurate, you goof."

Khan smiles a little sadly then and pulls James into his arms, murmuring, "Even an augment's ears can fail him, when he is not completely certain of his place anymore." He kisses Jim's forehead. 

Fuck, that breaks Jim's heart a little. He clings to his lover and nuzzles at him, pressing kisses all along Khan's jaw. "I love you. You and me, we're gonna last."

The old Khan Noonien Singh had never needed or wanted such comfort and support, but this new Khan allows himself these things, at least from his James. "Thank you. I will try to be worthy of your love." He tilts his head to find the softness of James' lips, the kiss chaste and sweet, asking for nothing more than that. 

The blond strokes at the Augment's cheeks. He doesn't like that Khan's hurting and that he's not the strong, confident man he knows Khan can be. He wants to help him through this and lead him back to stable ground, no matter how long it takes. "You are. We'll get through this, baby. I promise."

"Tomorrow, we will be on the Enterprise, readying her for a five year mission," Khan says. "I wish to be of use, Captain, on your ship and crew. Command me as you will in that regard, for the busier I am, the easier I shall be."

Jim pulls back a little so that he can smile warmly at him, just a little bit of mischievousness shining through. "I didn't have any intention of doing otherwise." 

Khan snorts once at the attempt to lighten the mood, as is his wont. But he then shakes his head, the next words not at all joking. "Tonight, I would like you to make love to me."

Jim blinks at him, a little surprised by the sudden request. I t doesn't take him long to recover, though, and then he's nodding. "Okay. I can do that." He smiles and presses a soft kiss to his lover's lips. "It's been a while." 

Khan merely nods once and steers them both back down the beach, allowing James to continue to dip his feet. Although he has allowed it a few times from his lover, the idea is still not easy. But he thinks it will be good for him to not always feel the need to take the lead. 

Jim links their hands together again and smiles to himself. It's really been a long time since he's been allowed to be on top. Not that he minds. This is a rare opportunity, and he's definitely going to make the most of it. 

They walk in silence for awhile longer, before Khan finally says, "If you are amenable, my James, I should like to return now. We can spend the rest of our time before your Gray Lady calls you."

"Sure. I gotta clean my feet before I put my shoes back on, anyway. If I can remember where I left them." Jim looks back towards the opening in the bluffs where they entered. "...somewhere."

"I know where they are," Khan says and now, there was true amusement in his eyes and voice. "But I think you should have to return barefoot for being so ridiculous as to leave them behind." 

"But we have to go back that way anyway," Jim whines a little, gesturing towards the path. 

Khan laughs slightly, head lifted to the sky. He nods and says, "I suppose we do. If you can find your shoes, you shall have them to wear."

"C'mon. C'mon," Jim says, tugging Khan back towards the entrance. "I'm gonna find 'em, just you wait." 

"Of course you are," Khan says with great patience and trails after him, allowing himself to be a step behind. 

"It's not my fault you're always distracting me with kisses and promises of love-making." Jim pouts a little and even though they're not near the path yet, he's still squinting in an attempt to locate his shoes. He should have worn bright orange ones. 

"I wasn't when you removed your shoes," Khan reminds him and continues to trail after him, amused by his scanning. "Do you think if you stare hard enough, they will suddenly pop out at you?"

"Yes. Maybe they'll color shift to purple or neon blue or rainbow, or something," Jim quips, grinning away. "Maybe they'll spontaneously grow cheetah print and start running towards me on their own."

"Or running the other way," Khan drawls with his customary amusement, feeling better in the presence of his playful lover. 

"Why? I'd look awesome in cheetah print. It would be excited to see me and start dancing all over the place," Jim replies with a serious nod.

"Or bite your ankles off," Khan says, getting into the fun. 

"Whaaaaaaat?" Jim asks, twisting to give Khan an 'are you crazy?' look. "No way. My toes, maybe, but not my ankles."

Khan sweeps James up into a kiss, one hand around his waist and the other behind his head. He sucks lightly at his tongue and lips, before setting him back down. This time, he takes the lead, practically trotting down the beach.

Jim swoons a little, trying to figure out what just happened and why he deserved that nice little treat, but then Khan's... way the hell over there. "H-hey!" The blond kicks himself into a run, trying to catch up with his lover. "CHEATER!"

Khan picks up a little more speed, ensuring he keeps a step or two ahead of his lover. "Not my fault you're slow, Captain," he calls in a teasing voice. "Pick up your feet, if you want to get your shoes back."

"FINE!" Jim yells at him, barreling down the beach while trying to catch up with Khan. Goddamn Augment and his goddamn super-speed! 

Khan allows James to get within two steps and then comes to a complete stop, just in front of him. 

Jim slams into his back with a loud curse, unable to stop in time. He hasn't got the reflexes of an Augment, unfortunately, and his organs don't like that sort of deceleration.

Khan turns on a neat foot and catches James before he does himself any serious harm. He kisses him softly and then takes his hand, leading him down the beach at a more sedate pace. 

"Good God, man," Jim says, sounding quite a bit like Bones for the moment. "You can't just stop in front of me like that." He rubs at his nose, a little bit sore, but toddles along with Khan, anyway. 

Khan pauses and looks at him with some little concern, before laying a gentle kiss to his bruised nose. "I am sorry, my James, if I harmed you." 

The blond smiles brightly in response. "It's all good now. You kissed it better." 

"And if I am not mistaken, and I seldom am, your shoes are just ahead," Khan says, releasing his lover to let him fetch them.

Jim bounces a little and heads off to find them, hunting them like he's prowling for rabbits. Eventually, he spots them behind a rock and crouches down, stalking up to them before pouncing on them. "AH HAH."

"Indeed," Khan says with a smile and shake of his head, still trailing his lover by a few steps. "Are they safe to wear? No lurking sand crabs?"

"Nope. No sand crabs. They didn't even get pooped on," Jim says triumphantly as he hops around on one foot while trying to brush the sand off the other.

Khan watches with his normal mixture of affection and amusement, allowing his lover to bounce all over the sand like a strange kangaroo. "You are most peculiar," he says with complete satisfaction.

"You could be my pillar of support?" Jim hints helpfully, still trying to get his sock on without it touching sand. 

Khan moves over and lifts James completely off the ground, so he can complete his task without trouble. "Will this suffice?" he asks dryly.

"Whoa. Okay, yeah. That works." Jim tugs on both socks and then wiggles his toes in the air. "Shoe time." 

"Shall I drop you into them?" Khan asks, but scoops the first one up and hands it to James.

"No, I don't wanna get dropped." Jim lifts his head to nibble Khan's jaw and then he takes his shoe. "Thanks, baby." He slips into that one and wiggles his fingers at the other.

Khan offers the other shoe with similar amusement, answering the silly gesture. He keeps a firm hold of James' waist and then gnaws lightly on his ear. 

The blond laughs and tugs his other shoe on while he tries not to let Khan distract him overly much with his nibbles. "Mission: Shoe Stalking is a success!" he proclaims. 

Khan plops James back on his feet and says, "And now, we may safely leave this place, as your feet are now protected." 

"Yeah. And my shoes aren't eating my toes, so that's another bonus." Jim gives Khan one more kiss on the cheek before he bolts away and up the hill. "LAST ONE TO THE CAR IS A ROTTEN EGG!"

Khan watches James sprint away and waits until he disappears from view. And then he races after him, easily scaling the hill and shortening the distance between them. "Run, run, as fast as you can!" he calls.

"FFFFFFF--" Jim barely manages not to waste his breath swearing. He focuses on just running as fast as he possibly can, and while he might be relatively quick on his feet for a human, he knows he's going to have to do even better than that to beat an Augment. 

Khan laughs softly at the swearing and sweating, before slowing down a step to press right on his heels. He reaches out toward James, playfully grabbing at him. "You'll never escape."

"I will so!" Jim pushes himself to run even harder, breath coming out in hard pants. He can see the car, but the trouble is getting to it before Khan does. 

Khan laughs and brushes his fingers over the back of James' shirt, teasing. "Will you? Not if you can't run any faster."

"Fuck you," Jim warbles out as he runs, words coming between breaths of air. He doesn't think it's physically possible for him to run any faster, so instead, he does what Khan did: he stops in his tracks, right in front of the Augment. Why not, right? 

Reacting instantly and instinctively, Khan dodges hard to the right, scoops James up with one arm, and keeps running. He gently eases up at the end and sets James down in front of him. "Imagine that, you got there first," he says, not even breathing hard. 

Well. That didn't go as planned. Jim flails indignantly right up until he gets put down, and then he gives Khan a suspicious look. "Wonder how that happened?"

"You were faster...with help," Khan says with a gentle smile. He makes his stern face as appealing as possible, wanting James to soften.

"Not sure that counts, but I'll take a win where I can get it." The blond smiles a little and then touches the hood of the car. "You're still a rotten egg." 

"Then you are a man who loves a rotten egg," Khan says and tugs him into a kiss, manhandling him easily, but also gently.

Jim laughs, amused by the idea. "Like I'm bothered by that at all? I can handle your eggy stink." 

Khan wrinkles his nose in clear disgust at the very idea and heads into their transport, taking James with him. "I'm flying this time."

"You sure?" Jim asks, although he's already heading around to the passenger side of the car. He doesn't mind if Khan wants to drive. 

"You nearly crashed into a tall building," Khan deadpans, "so yes, I am sure."

"What? When was that!?" Jim blinks at him, totally confused. 

"When you piloted a pirate vessel through the skies of Qu'noS and nearly through a tall building. Two of them." Khan looks completely mischievous. "I was there, you know."

"How many times do I have to tell people? It fit," Jim scoffs, hopping into the car and buckling himself in. 

Khan scoffs back in open mockery of him and then pilots their small shuttle into the air. As they returned to the small spaceport they had gotten the shuttle from, he says one last time (because it needs to be said), "Thank you, James."

Jim looks over at him and smiles softly. "You're welcome. I know you'd do the same for me if our positions were reversed."

"They never will be," Khan says with a look of icy determination. "I will not permit it."

The blond reaches over, brushing his fingers against his lover's arm. "Thank you. That means a lot."

"They are your family," Khan says with finality. That meant nobody would hurt them while he lived. James would not have to deal with the same loss.

"And I hope, at some point, they'll be your friends, too." Jim means that. He wants Khan to get along with them and build new friendships. It would be good for everyone and Jim longs to see Khan enjoying himself out there in space.

Khan hangs his head a second, knowing he will be content if they just don't want him dead. "We shall see," he says evenly.

"Yeah. It's a project for the long run," Jim admits. 

"Well, I have five years," Khan says, trying to sound positive. 

"We have five years," Jim corrects, nudging him lightly. "You're not gonna be alone."

"Well, I am rather hoping that you're someone I don't have to win over," Khan says lightly.

"I really wouldn't mind if you wanted to take me on some dates," the blond replies affectionately, and he finds he actually means it. 

Khan looks at him, surprised and pleased with the idea, and asks, "You would like to be seen in public with me?"

"I went with you to a candy store and through an airport full of thousands of people and to a flower shop... Why would I mind being seen in public with you?" Jim asks. 

"On your ship," Khan clarifies. "Even given your crew knowing, having us engage in...courtship might rather upset some of them. One thing to know and another to see."

"Like I said, we'll take it slow. One step at a time. And it's not like we're gonna be making out in the hallways, or anything." Jim looks fairly pleased by that thought, though. If there weren't rules against public displays of affection, who knows what they'd do in the halls? 

"Even so, my James, perhaps our first 'dates' should be in private," Khan says. "Until your crew as a whole is at least used to me."

"I kinda figured they would be. On shore leave, you know? Or in our quarters." Jim can't stop the little shiver of excitement. He's really looking forward to that. 

Khan notices the shiver and reaches out with one hand to caress the back of James' head. "Our quarters," he repeats, the idea deeply gratifying. 

"Yeah. I mean, on paper you'll have your own, but..." Jim really doesn't think Khan needs to bother spending any time in it. 

"Shall I clandestinely sneak into the Captain's bedroom to seduce and ravish him?" Khan purrs.

Another anticipatory shiver runs down Jim's spine. "I think the captain would like that very much..." Oh yes. Very much, indeed.

"Not all things can be dates," Khan says, voice thick with promise. He steers toward the port, coming in for a landing. "We can't cheat and transport back, can we?" he asks. "I would like to be in bed with you all the sooner."

Jim thinks on that for a bit and brushes his fingers against his communicator in his pocket. "It might be doable. Though, the Enterprise is synced to San Francisco time right now and it's the middle of the night there. Do you feel like dealing with an angry Scotsman?" 

"I am willing to make it up to Mr. Scott," Khan says, thinking of the engineer with something like fondness. "I will show him how to make the engines much more efficient." 

"Okay, but it's on your head if I get murdered," Jim jokes (mostly). "Once we've got our fees squared away, I'll comm him. Can't just borrow a shuttle and run," he quips as he steps out of the vehicle after Khan's set them down. 

"Not unless I want to spend the rest of my life in prison," Khan agrees and follows him. "Do you want me to pay for this, my James? I have a small sum saved up." 

Jim shakes his head, already pulling out his wallet. "I said I was going to cover this trip, right? Don't worry about it." He heads up to the kiosk, a squat little building next to the parking bay and has a short chat with the clerk before paying their bill. It takes all of three minutes before Jim's on his way back and pulling out his communicator. "You ready?"

Khan meets him partway and nods once. "I am. More than ready to leave this place behind me." He leans in to him and adds sotto voce, "And to be in your bed." 

"Just hold onto that thought," Jim urges, holding his finger up as he flips open his communicator with his other hand so he can hail up to the Enterprise. He knows Scotty's been staying on the ship 24/7 for the past month to make sure she's ready for her five-year mission. Jim absolutely admires the man's dedication to his job, but he also thinks that maybe Scotty doesn't have anything better to be doing anyway. Not that Jim doesn't usually fall into that category, as well. He gets put on hold while the communications officer on duty patches him through to the Chief Engineer, and Jim knows by the slurred swearing that he's woken the Scotsman up. 

Still, several apologies and promises of the finest Scotch later and Jim and Khan are getting transported from London all the way to just outside Jim's apartment building in San Francisco. 

"Bless ginger Scotsmen with big transporters," Jim announces with a grin. "I'll call the rental company about their car in the morning. I think they've got a kiosk at the shuttleport, anyway." 

"It's a small matter, compared to being able to go home together now," Khan says and touches James' side tenderly. "I wish to shower and then have you take me to bed, my James. Would you like something to eat?" 

"There's leftovers. I'll have them later." Jim reaches over to take Khan's hand and lead him through the front doors and into the lift. Funny how things seem to take so much longer when one's in a hurry.

Khan waits for the lift doors to close and leans in to kiss his forehead tenderly. He slides his hands under James shirt and rubs them over his sides just over his hips. "My James."

Jim purrs and enjoys the attention while it lasts, inching a little closer and closing his eyes at the warm touch. Mercifully, the lift reaches the 16th floor and Jim all but drags Khan down the hall to his door, running his keycard over the sensor to unlock it before tugging the brunet inside.


	31. Rebirth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Get your bottom!Khan here.

Khan smiles a little as he willing follows the tugging, resisting not at all. He does not stop when he gets inside, but instead moves faster to take the lead. He wants out of his mourning clothes, which he intends to dispose of immediately, a shower with James to wash away the last of his grief and then some serious time entwined with his lover, a celebration of life and the rebirth of himself.

Jim has just enough time to kick off his shoes and put his wallet away before his lover is guiding him towards the shower. He has absolutely no complaints about that, so he simply works on tugging his clothes off on the way. Though, he admits maybe it would be better to wait until he's not moving to take off his pants. 

Khan's clothes end up tossed in a forlorn pile near the disposal unit, though his boots are ensconced by the door (the only things not to go, though he doubts his intentions to wear them again). He lifts James off the floor for the second it takes for him to kick off his pants and not end up with a concussion from falling over them. That would ruin the evening.

"That works," Jim murmurs, automatically clinging to Khan as they make their way into the shower stall. Jim fumbles to find the controls. Soon enough, though, there's warm water spraying over them, and Jim finds his lover's lips with his own. 

Khan kisses back sweetly, lips light and tender against his lover's. He leans into James a little, subtly indicating that he is giving James the lead tonight. He will follow where James wants to go, trusting not only his skills, but also his emotional sense. 

Jim slides his hands down Khan's hips, fingers careful not to tickle. He just wants to caress soft skin while he licks at the Augment's teeth with languid exploration. He knows it's not a night for hurried sex and primal lust. 

Khan hums softly at the sweetness of the touches and sucks with the same contentment at James' tongue. He sets his hands on James' back, one midl-evel and the other just over the curve of his ass. He rubs the skin under his palms, lazy and soothing. He just wants to be close, to touch and feel.

The blond figures that the least he can do is clean his lover, so he reaches over for the soap, which also unfortunately means having to break that kiss. He makes up for it by moving back in to bite lightly at Khan's shoulder, sucking tenderly at the smooth skin while he lathers the soap in his hands and then spreads it across Khan's chest. 

Khan steps back to allow James access for soaping him, without letting go of his lover. He Khan steps back to allow James access for soaping him, without letting go of his lover. He grumbles playfully at being gnawed on and lightly sucks at James' earlobe in retaliation. Loving retaliation. 

Jim hums in approval and spends most of his time just feeling over the strong planes of his lover's chest, making sure he's thoroughly washed. His hands dip a little lower, washing Khan's pelvis, but somehow, Jim manages to resist palming him. He just wants to clean and care for. For now. 

Khan stands docilely under James' attentions, shifting this way and that to allow him to clean his skin completely. He turns to present his back for the able hands, though he glances at his lover to make sure that he is amenable to the move.

Jim answers that by leaning in to bite lightly at the nape of Khan's neck, much like Khan does to him. He won't leave a mark, but he does lick at the skin and nibble affectionately. All the while, he's adding more soap to his hands and rubbing at Khan's lower back in broad circles. 

Khan sighs and lifts his head to allow the rasp of teeth against his nape. He reaches one hand back to stroke at James' hip, fingertips tender over the soft skin. "That's lovely, my James."

"You like that, baby?" Jim asks quietly, biting a little more at the spot, but still careful not to mark. His hands wander up, sliding along Khan's spine to his shoulder blades and then fanning out, spreading vanilla-scented soap along his broad frame. 

"Yes," Khan purrs and inhales deeply, the scent washing away the smell of beach and sorrow. He turns his head to kiss at James' cheeks and nose. "I like everything you're doing."

"Good," Jim purrs right back, continuing to massage and knead while he works the soap into his lover's skin before it gets rinsed away by the water. Then he moves his fingers up, massaging either side of Khan's neck, rubbing along his trapezius until his thumbs bump against the back of Khan's jaw. 

Khan's head drops back against the tender hands, and he groans, deep and low in his throat. He trembles a little, not used to standing and accepting touches without participating more. But it feels so good. His fingers tighten a little around James' hip, before stroking some more, all he could do from his position.

Jim likes Khan's shy behavior and feeling like he's actually able to take care of the stronger, faster, more durable Augment. He caresses the skin, soothing any tension he finds with gentle fingers and kisses. "You're beautiful."

"Beautiful," Khan echoes very softly, having never thought of himself with quite that adjective. Augments were made to be attractive, yet another weapon in their arsenal, but Khan always felt he was a bit too...menacing to be truly good-looking. "I am humbled that you think so."

"You'll always be beautiful to me," Jim whispers, leaning in until he can suck in Khan's earlobe and gently tug it with his teeth. 

Khan moans at the way the bite to his sensitive skin sends a tingle all the way down to his groin. He allows himself full latitude to be demonstrative, to show everything he feels to his lover.

The blond moves his hands around front, holding Khan's waist and then trailing down further, rubbing across his abdomen and then at the join of thigh and pelvis. His lips skim across the shell of Khan's ear and mouth at the back of Khan's jaw, light and loving, wanting Khan to feel adored. 

Khan shivers at the way the combination of touches makes him feel, something almost fragile in James' arms. Part of him hates the idea, but the rest of him almost melts at the notion of James being so gentle with him. "James," he whispers, unsure of himself.

"Yeah, baby?" Jim continues to stroke down from Khan's hips to his thighs, just petting him while he mouths wet kisses all over his lover's shoulders with tongue and teeth. 

"This is nice," Khan says, almost shaky. "I have been a leader with servants, even slaves...but none who cared. None whose touch feels like yours." He leans even more into his lover, muscles easing beneath his touches, especially the kisses. 

That makes Jim so happy to hear. He flushes a little, smiling against his lover's skin. "I love you. So very much." He lets his fingers brush against Khan's cock, testing to see if his lover wants to be touched there or not. 

"And I you," Khan says softly and shifts into the hand on his groin. "Whatever you want. Anything."

Jim takes a moment to soap his hand up again and then he cups it loosely around his lover's shaft, slowly stroking it to life. "I just want to make you happy. Tell me what you need, baby." 

Khan thrusts into the gentle hand and says, "I want you, my James. I need you. I would also like to clean you, as well." He pauses for a few beats and adds,"Please," low in his throat. 

"Okay." Jim kisses his shoulder and lets go of him after a few more strokes. "How about you wash me up and then we go to bed?" 

"You don't want me to do more than just wash you?" Khan asks, sighing when James stops his lovely stroking. He turns to face him and reaches out to caress his cheeks tenderly.

"That's why we'll be heading to bed after. We can do all sorts of things there." Jim rubs his cheek against Khan's palm and smiles. 

Khan leans in to press his mouth tenderly to James' and then steps back, reaching for the soap. He eases himself to his knees and starts with James' feet, lathering up his ankles and then his knees and thighs. As he reaches his inner groin, he leans in and kisses his cock sweetly. 

Jim's never been worshipped in the shower like this before. He didn't even know it could feel good to have his ankles washed, but then Khan's distracting from everything with that kiss. It makes Jim shiver a little and he looks down at his lover with a fond smile. "You're gonna give me ideas."

"Horrors," Khan says playfully, but gently. 'I can give you more than ideas, if you like." He rubs his cheek over the entire length once and looks up at him for guidance.

Jim threads his fingers into Khan's hair and considers the possibilities. "How about I wash your hair while you get me nice and hard?" 

Khan pushes into the gentle hands and says, "I would be willing to let you use my mouth, if you wish. But if washing is what you prefer...I would like that."

"You can use your mouth," Jim agrees, already reaching for the shampoo, "but I'm going to give you a scalp massage while you're at it. How's that?"

"Delightful," Khan says and places his hands on James' hips, before sucking him right into his mouth. He skims his teeth over the whole length and then mouths the tip, tongue flicking into the slit. 

With how good that mouth feels, Jim's having a hard time doing anything more than moaning and simply keeping himself upright. He always gets hard so quickly for Khan and this time is no exception, and it's not until he nearly drops the shampoo that he even realizes it's still in his hand. He squirts a dollop onto his palm and gathers enough brain power to smear it into Khan's hair, followed by kneading, prodding fingers. 

Khan hums at the fingers in his hair and slides all the way down his cock. He allows the erection all the way down his throat and swallows a few times, not gagging at all. He scrapes his teeth over the whole length and then off the end.

Holy fuck. Jim moans, head tipping back, and it's only the fact that he's got hold of Khan that keeps him upright. That mouth on him feels so amazingly good that it's making Jim's toes curl and making it difficult for him to even find enough brain cells to remember how to shampoo someone's hair. "Shit, Noonien. That's fantastic." 

Khan makes a low noise of agreement and returns to pleasuring his lover with all his considerable skills. He takes him all the way again and then just spends some time sucking (with augmented pull) at the length. He knows James can go multiple times in a night and plans to give him the opportunity. 

It's almost tortuously good how well Khan knows every inch of his cock and how to suck it best. It gets to the point where Jim has to give up on giving Khan a thorough scalp massage because with the way his lover is deepthroating him, he can't do anything except hold onto the shower wall and try not to fuck his mouth too hard. That, and not moaning loudly enough to startle the neighbours would be a plus. 

Khan glances up at James and cups his balls with a firm hand. He plays with them teasingly, enjoying how full and generous they were in his palm. And then he swallows hard around James' length, almost asking him to let go.

Jim can't hold out anymore. Khan draws that orgasm out of him like a masterful musician and Jim crashes over, coming down his lover's throat with a desperate, quivering cry. "Noonien!" 

Grateful for the evidence of James' pleasure, Khan swallows all of the release down. He uses his skills to draw out the orgasm as long as possible for his lover, milking every last drop and not losing one. And releasing him only when James' movements indicate an edge of over-stimulation. 

Jim slumps against the shower tiles and closes his eyes, just taking a minute to catch his breath and bask in the afterglow of a good orgasm in a hot shower. He cracks his eyes open again after a minute and look at his lover with a small smile. "Your hair is still soapy..." 

"And you neglected my massage," Khan teases and rises to his feet, hands lifting to take care of his hair. 

"No... No, I can do that," Jim says, reaching up to brush Khan's hands away so he can resume working the shampoo into his lover's hair. 

Khan leans into the warmth of James' hands and hummed low in his throat, contentment leaking into his muscles. "That's very nice, my James."

"Not as good as a blowjob, but I try." The blond works his fingers right into Khan's scalp, makng sure every inch gets kneaded until there's so much shampoo lather that it's starting to foam over and drip onto the floor. 

Khan pulls away when some soap tries to get up his nose and ducks his head under the spray. He washes out the soap with busy hands and then emerges from the water again. "I will accept what you can give me."

"You didn't like your soapy clown wig, huh?" Jim muses and then leans in to kiss his freshly-cleaned lover. "It looked good."

"You imply I am well-suited for life as a clown then," Khan deadpans and then kisses him again, mouth lingering. "I shall not comment on your absurdity again."

"No, I was just saying a white afro was flattering," Jim replies with a grin, clearly teasing, and he punctuates it with a gentle nip to his lover's lips. 

"I do believe you have been in the shower long enough, but I did not finish your washing," Khan says and moves them both so James is now under the spray. He takes the soap and does a quick, but thorough, scrub of James' torso and arms and back, finishing with his ass. 

Jim is definitely content to let Khan wash him. It's warm and comfortable and even if it's utilitarian, he still likes having his lover's hands on him. "Let's go snuggle in the bed?" 

Khan does not voice that he could like to do more than snuggle, but nods once in acceptance. Even if snuggling is all they do, Khan will be content. He needs James right now, close and alive and his. 

Oh, Jim has plans for more than just snuggling, but he needs some time still for his cock to recover. He turns the water off and steps out of the shower to get some towels for them. 

Khan stretches as they leave the shower and says, "I shall miss water showers on the Enterprise. Sonics are efficient, but not the same." He waits on James to see how he wants to handle drying, curious and still leaving everything in his lover's hands.

Jim can't help but grin a little. "Captain gets a water shower option. Didn't you know?" He flops a towel onto Khan's head and rubs it gently against his lover's hair, and then he dries the rest of him, too, slowly working down Khan's body until he reaches his ankles. That towel gets tossed into the hamper and then Jim grabs one for himself, definitely less careful with drying his own hair. 

"May I?" Khan asks, reaching out to take over the towel at James' permission. He feels warm and tingly all over, the rapt attention and affection of his lover soothing and pleasing. Such devotion was a rare thing, and Khan hoarded and treasured it like any miser.

"Sure." Jim willingly hands the towel over and steps closer to Khan to make it easier for him.

Khan tenderly works on James' body now, echoing every touch he was given. He fluffs James' hair into a cute mess, too, just to even the score a little. But when his lover's fine body is finally dry and warm and pink almost everywhere, he wants to kiss every inch and then kiss and lick it all again, just because he can. "I want my mouth everywhere on you," he murmurs.

Jim doesn't mind the hair mess. He's had worse, so he discards the towel and then takes Khan's hands, moving backwards step by step to guide his lover to the bed without taking his gaze off him. "You'll have plenty of opportunity for that." 

"Opportunities I do not plan to pass up," Khan responds, following with eagerness, but no rush. "I do so love you, my James, including your body." He glances over at the bed and adds, "Reverse course?"

"Love you, too, baby," Jim responds with a kind smile as he lets his knees bump into the bed and he falls backwards onto it, tugging Khan down with him. "Can't kiss me all over if you're on the bottom, right?" 

Khan catches himself easily before he lands hard on James and then kisses him. "You are willing to indulge me then?" 

"Aren't I usually?" Jim asks, feigning hurt.

Khan refrains from biting sharply at James' skin and just gives him a quick glare. He softens instantly, though, and spreads kisses over James' collarbone and up his neck. "I should not indulge you so much."

"What? I'm indulging you, so you're gonna indulge me less? You might wanna explain the logic behind that one," Jim whines despite the kisses. He doesn't want Khan to indulge him less!

"Yes, that's right," Khan says with a loving kiss to James' pulsepoint. "You are definitely in danger of not having me wrapped around your little finger any longer."

Jim pouts and deliberately makes his lip quiver, looking a little sad. "But I like it when you're all devoted to me. It makes me feel loved and wanted." 

Khan looks down into his face and then sucks the soft lower lip, before darting little kisses over those same lips. He finally pulls away to study James' eyes. And though James plays, he remains serious and says, "I love you, my James. And want you." He nuzzles and then presses his forehead to his lover's, hands running over James' sides. "Let me explore you everywhere and show you how much I want you."

The blond looks up at him for a moment before he softens and strokes his foot along Khan's ankle. "I'm all yours, Noonien. Whatever you want to do with me, I'm yours." 

Khan swallows once and murmurs, "I still want you to be inside me tonight. I need that." He pauses with his broad hands spanning James' chest, thumbs gentle on his nipples, swirling over them. "But before that, I will worship you, if you allow."

"I want to be inside you, trust me," Jim replies. He really doesn't want to pass up that opportunity. It's so rare that Khan opens himself up like that for him. He hums quietly at the fingers on those sensitive nubs and lifts his hand to press it to Khan's chest, just feeling over the strength underneath pale skin. "Go ahead, baby."

"James," Khan breathes and then begins with a quick, but sensual, kiss to his lips. And then his mouth wanders the intricacies of James' face, almost butterfly soft with each touch. His hands continue to map and caress James' chest, with special care to those pretty nipples. He wants them peaked and aching before his mouth is anywhere near them.

Jim arches up a little at the touches, but reminds himself not to push things to go faster, so he lets out a slow breath. He focuses on Khan's touches, the warmth of his hands and the softness of his skin, the way his lover's closeness makes his heartbeat pick up. "I love you," he whispers, trying not to break whatever spell this is. 

Khan hums a soft thank you and shows his love with kisses to James' throat and shoulders. And then because James does seem to enjoy it so, he tenderly bites the skin of his nape, worrying at his mark. 

Jim definitely does enjoy that. It sends little thrills of excitement all along his body and makes him mewl quietly. He runs his hand down Khan's back, stroking along his spine as he lifts his head up to quietly beg for more of the same. 

Khan bathes the area with kisses and the softest flicks of tongue, before finally latching hold, hard, with his teeth over the center of the mark. He does not tighten for long, but sucks to refresh the spot, answering the plea. The last thing on his mind is to deny James.

The blond gasps and writhes, absolutely ecstatic that Khan has deepened the bruise on his neck. He rewards him by tugging him up for a kiss that's both slow and deep, a passionate sort of thank-you. 

Khan lingers over the kiss, sucking at his tongue with the same power that he did to his cock. He presses his own erection rather lightly against James' thighs and thrusts his hips in the same rhythm as his tongue moves. But he does not do more than that, content to merely work himself up a little more.

Jim sneaks a hand between them to make a tunnel for the Augment to thrust into. He wants to make Khan feel as good as Khan's making him feel and he tries to let him know this through his wanton moans that get lost in their kiss. 

Their mouths part as Khan makes a soft grunt at the feel of sure fingers around his length. "Do you want me to come this way?" he asks, just rocking in and out of the knowing hand. James' skills as a lover are on full display and enflame Khan's desire, as well as his deep pride that this man is his.

"That's up to you, baby," Jim purrs even as he brushes his fingers against his lover's balls. "I'm happy just to get us both hard and aching before I have you." 

Khan is not really keen on the language, but the idea works very well for him. "Yes. I do not wish to release just yet, my James. Let me explore more...or do you wish to move faster?" He knows James prefers a quicker pace, and this night is for pleasing him.

Jim does want to go faster, but he's trying to teach himself patience here, and that won't go very well if he gives in at the slightest opportunity. He gives Khan's cock one more squeeze before he lets it go and rubs at his lover's thighs, instead. "No. Let's do this right." 

Khan chuckles lightly and nuzzles at his cheeks. "There is no wrong when it is between us, my James. But I would enjoy exploring you further." He smiles at his lover and looks into those amazingly blue eyes, which are mostly black right now.

"I know. I just want you to be able to take your time for once. I'm trying not to push." Jim cups Khan's cheek and strokes it gently with his thumb, hoping that this will ease the last of Khan's sadness. 

"I know it is not easy for you. Your blood runs hot in your veins, always so ready to go," Khan praises and sucks on his thumb a few times, before moving down his body again. He goes to the well muscled chest now, working down his strong, smooth skin to those nipples he was fondling before. He enjoys the succulent nubs so very much, and they appear neglected now, forgotten in their conversation. He kisses each one an apology and then starts in avidly sucking the right.

Jim squirms, eyes falling shut to keep himself from watching Khan and getting too excited. "It's not my fault my boyfriend is ridiculously sexy and just looking at him makes me all hot and bothered," he protests quietly, biting back a whimper when his nipple gets assaulted. Khan's tongue knows just how to tease and taunt to make that nub feel like it's hard enough to cut glass. 

"Boyfriend is such an inadequate term for what we are to each other," Khan murmurs into the warmth of James' skin. "You are my lover, and even that term falls far short of the reality." He changes to the other nipple, but his fingers keep the first peaked and aching.

Those words are comforting to Jim, even if he wasn't looking for comfort. He likes the thought of them being something that can't really be defined in a single word, mainly because he doesn't particularly like being labeled. "It's okay. We don't need a term," the blond replies, voice a little shaky. Khan is making it difficult for him to stay composed.

"We could make one of our own," Khan says and presses a kiss over his breastbone. "Though I am content merely to call you my James. And fortunate." He eases down, tongue exploring the muscles of James' abdomen. 

"Haven't got the brainpower to make up words right now," Jim complains, tangling his fingers in his lover's hair and tugging, trying to remind him of his mission. "Making new words is hard."

"Pyāra," Khan murmurs into James' skin. "Anurukti." He finds the soft tenderness of his right inner thigh, teeth and tongue busy. "Asakti."

Jim lets out a quiet noise of pleasure, breath coming in short bursts as his lover leaves new marks on him. For Jim, that's incredibly erotic, and it makes his cock twitch, though his brain keeps trying to catch up with those foreign words. "I-- Fuck. I don't know what those mean."

"My love," Khan says with a smile and nuzzles at the pretty length of James' cock. "In various ways in Hindi." He bites lightly at his knee and then lifts himself up again, moving to his other leg. 

"Isn't that cheating?" Jim's voice is wobbly. His body is wracked with fine tremors from all the attention he's receiving and he very, very much wants more, although he's desperately trying to be patient. It's a special sort of torture. "They all sound nice, though..."

"Do you not care for my native tongue?" Khan asks, almost sounding sad. He loves the way James' body betrays his desire for Khan's attention and tries to make him shiver and shake even more. 

"I didn't say that. I said they sound nice. I think you should pick whatever one has the best meaning." Honestly, Jim would just be happy for the nickname, whatever it is. He likes the idea of having a special name like that, something only Khan would know the true meaning of. But he can't spare time for thoughts like that any longer. Khan's lips and tongue are giving him goosebumps and he doesn't know how much longer his self-control will last. "P-please..."

"Would you like to be inside me now?" Khan asks and eases himself all the way up to kiss the soft lips and suck on the playful, knowing tongue. "My pyāra." He wraps an arm around James and then rolls on his own back, pulling James on top.

Fuck, yes," Jim whimpers, so glad to finally get what he needs. He scrambles around blindly for the lube and then pops it open, though he's momentarily distracted by the sight of Khan below him. Holy hell, that's amazing. 

 

Right, he's on a mission. He squirts some lube onto his fingers before he carefully rubs them against Khan's entrance, massaging the tight ring. "If I go too fast, or if anything hurts, just let me know, okay?"

"It's difficult to hurt me," Khan says. "Indeed, you will have to work hard to loosen your way." He spreads one leg out wide and lifts the other to wrap easily on James' hip. "I hope you chose the slick with some kind of care and didn't just grab the first one that came to hand," he teases, knowing how far gone James is feeling. "There are many fancy ones..."

Khan, why must you make Jim's brain work? He can't remember what the bottle says, even if he was just looking at it two seconds ago, so he holds it up for inspection. "Something about sensitizing," Jim murmurs while he works one finger inside his tantalizingly tight lover. 

Khan makes a noise of protest and says, "As an augment, my skin is already highly sensitized." He raises his hips to allow James' fingers easier penetration and pushes into the first finger, trying to drive it deeper inside. "That is just cruel, my James." 

"Why cruel?" Jim wriggles his finger around and fights against Khan's muscles to try to stretch him out enough for a second. "It just means it'll be even better, right? Maybe it means I can keep up with you." 

"Perhaps not cruel," Khan amends and pushes back into the fingers, trying to urge James to push a bit harder against his strong muscles. 

"Maybe if you're all super-sensitive, I'll be able to make you come more easily," Jim replies, scissoring his fingers to stretch his lover. There's plenty of resistance still and he's having a hard time, but he finally manages to force his fingers apart and twist them a little.

Khan growls in the back of his throat at the slight shock from his muscles finally giving a little. "You want to do that?"

Jim winces when Khan growls like that, knowing he's hurt him. He can't take it any easier, though, or the muscles won't give at all, so he distracts him by searching for the Augment's prostate and petting it gently. "Why wouldn't I want to make you come?"

Khan just snorts and then groans as James' clever fingers begin to add pleasure to the stretch and twinges of pain. "I promise that will not be a problem for you, my James."

"Good. That's the way it should be." Jim shifts down just enough to bite at Khan's nipple, knowing that they're sensitive, and he rolls his tongue against it in the same rhythm as he's rubbing his fingers against his gland. 

Khan swears under his breath at the additional distraction of pleasure and winds a hand in James' hair to encourage him not to stop. He arches his back to try and almost spear himself on James' fingers, wanting the stretching over with, or at least well enough along to be more fun that work.

Jim carefully slides a third finger into him, even though Khan's ass seems to protest it. He's careful with him, wiggling it in bit by bit while his tongue devilishly teases his lover's nipple as a reward. Those swears Khan makes are just the icing on the cake for Jim. He likes that he can drive his lover to cursing. 

"I can feel you smirking inside," Khan grumbles between a series of loud moans, as his muscles give for James' stretching, but only so slowly. He knows James worries about hurting him, but really, the lubricant is what sets his teeth on edge. "Suck harder."

Jim just makes an innocent noise as if he has absolutely no idea what smirk Khan is on about and then moves to the Augment's other nipple and bites at it playfully, pinching it between his teeth with a quiet growl. 

Khan growls right back at him and then just shudders from head to toe because fuck, his nipples are so damn sensitive. He likes the way James looks and acts, all wicked and playful and happy.

Jim soothes the bite with his tongue, swirling around the nub and then latching his mouth all the way around it and finally sucking as requested. He hums out a low groan, enjoying the taste of his lover and hoping that Khan will be loose enough soon. 

Khan drops his head back and groans, "Just get inside me, James. I want- please. Enough of the playing around. I'm ready." He tugs in sharply with the leg still around James' hip, trying to encourage him.

The blond lets go of Khan's nipple with a wet noise and looks at his lover for a moment. "Okay, baby. Okay." He slides his fingers out of Khan so he can sit up and relocate the lube. He pops it open, squirting more onto his fingers so he can slick up his cock before gripping it and lining it up with Khan's entrance. Carefully, slowly, he pushes the head inside, hissing quietly at how tight the Augment still is. "Fuck." 

Khan echoes that sentiment silently and tries to loosen up on James' cock, feeling how he's almost wedged inside. "Just need to keep pushing." 

"Your ass is going to crush my cock," Jim complains, but he still eases his hips forward, sinking further and further inside. 

Khan cannot help but laugh a little at the words and says, "I could, if I wanted. It is dangerous to bed an augment, Captain." He deliberately bears down, just a little.

"So, so not something I need to hear while I'm pushing into you, thanks. Please don't make cockjam." Jim reaches up to thumb over Khan's nipples, rubbing those little nubs vigorously to make up for the excruciatingly slow pace of his hips. 

Khan snorts at the term and concentrates on loosening as much as possible, before he shifts his body, forcing himself down on James' cock. His passage opens almost suddenly, so they are flush together. Eyes slamming closed at the last push, Khan takes a few deep breaths and says, "Now, I would like you to go slow."

Jim groans, breathing deep and deliberate, trying to keep himself calm. He's torn between not moving at all and wanting to fuck his lover senseless. "You feel so good," he murmurs and comes up to kiss the Augment, sucking at his lower lip while he starts rocking his hips in slow, careful thrusts. 

"You don't deserve me," Khan counters, breathing in deeply as James begins to move in and out of his body. He reaches up to deliberately run his hands over his lover's back, urging him to keep the current pace. "But I want you anyway."

"If I don't deserve you, who does?" Jim asks quietly, fixing his gaze on Khan as he pushes back into him once more. It's hard to maintain that slow pace, hips wanting to snap forward and take all the pleasure at once, but he keeps steady.

"You deserve better," Khan answers softly, "but I refuse to let you go now, my James." He finds the pace soothing, undemanding in a way that lets him relax into being penetrated and claimed this way. 

Jim's touched by that, a little amazed by how Khan always manages to make him feel so special and wanted. "I'm not going anywhere, so you don't have to let me go." He leans down to kiss at his lover' Adam's apple tenderly, licking a wet stripe along it afterwards.

Khan's head falls back to allow for the tender touches to his neck, shivering at the vulnerability he allows James to see. "In this one thing then, I am lucky," he says and then moans low in his chest when James finds the right angle to press into his prostate.

"That's the spot?" Jim asks, question rhetorical as he thrusts into the same spot again, wanting to hear Khan make more delicious noises. If he can make this good for him, then maybe this won't be such a rare occurrence. 

Khan's hold on James tightens a bit more in response to the constant pleasure, and he tries to lose himself completely to the sensations. His lover gives him so much, even when he's the one taking. And there is a tiny bit of relief in not being in charge for the moment. "Yes, James," he praises, voice low and like a gut shot.

Jim alters his pace, slowing things to a mere crawl whenever his cock brushes against Khan's prostate. He makes each stroke against it last as long as possible before he pulls back again and repeats the process. Khan's so beautiful when he's losing himself. 

Khan appreciates James' willingness now to go slow and allow them both to savor the moments. Still, he is not unaware, even while his body thrums with pleasure, that this is often difficult for his lover. He tugs James down for a kiss, before asking, "Do you need more?"

The blond sucks at his lover's lower lip, biting teasingly before releasing it. "No. Just this is good." He's achingly hard, yes, but knows he can make it. This isn't just about getting release, he knows. "Besides, I want you to come first."

"James," Khan murmurs and traces his lover's face with gentle fingers. "Are you sure you can hold out that long?" And there was a spark of amusement in his eyes and voice, something new in this situation. 

Jim hesitates, looking slightly sheepish. "No, but I'm gonna try anyway." And to underline his point, he grinds his hips against Khan's pelvis, driving his cock against Khan's gland. 

Khan mixes a moan and a growl at the aggressive attempt to drive his pleasure high so fast. "James," he says, a note of plea in his voice, "please don't. Not that way." He puts his hands on James' hips and slows him down, gentling the movements. 

Jim whines, but stills, not liking how difficult this 'going slow' thing is being. He's still trying to figure out exactly what Khan wants and it's not coming easily. "Then tell me what to do."

Khan smiles and eases him into a kiss again, before saying, "You were doing fine. I promise." He pushes up into the next movement of James' hips. "Please, James, keep going, just do not force anything." 

"Okay." Very vanilla then, Jim decides. He can keep going that, so he does, and he'll try to keep the even pace for as long as he can. 

Khan bites at James neck softly in response to his lover's attempts to answer his request, knowing it was not an easy thing for him. He lightly takes one of James' hands and guides it down his body to his cock. "Please," he repeats, the word somehow easy to say to his lover. 

Finally. This is something Jim can do. He eagerly wraps his fingers around Khan's shaft and begins stroking him slowly, just like the rest of his movements. "Anything for you, baby."

Khan huffs that same soft laugh and says in a pleasure choked voice, "I shall never be used to being someone's baby." He arches elegantly into that firm hand and groans for more.

Jim makes a tight tunnel for him to push up into, encouraging his lover to move those beautiful, lean hips with the rhythm of their bodies. "Better get used to it 'cause that's what I'm gonna call you," he replies with a secretive smile. 

Khan loses words for a moment or two, concentration centered on his loins and the hand bringing him intense pleasure. But he wrestles himself from the edge and says, "I would expect no less of you, James. You defy convention."

"Convention is boring." Jim's having a hard time, too. His balls are aching. He wants to come, but also wants to last for Khan. It's a difficult situation.

Khan chokes on a pleasured laugh and gasps, "You are hardly boring." He squeezes around James' erection and says, "You must be close. Please, I want you to come inside me."

"You sure? I can hold on a little longer, if you want." The blond leans down to nuzzle at him, kissing at his pulse point, but also to muffle his groan. Khan's ass feels so amazingly tight again that it nearly undoes him. 

Khan strokes down the length of James' back, over the curve of ass that moves and gives such pleasure. "I want you...as I have all this day."

Jim can't help the sigh of relief that escapes before he picks up the speed a little, pushing faster and deeper, but no less gentle. It doesn't take long before he's absolutely trembling, breath coming hard and unsteady, and then he plunges into Khan one last time and stills as he releases inside him with a whimpered moan. "Noonien."

"James," Khan echoes, his own release spilling between them. And in that moment, he knows he belongs with James...and to him. He will honor his captain, his lover, his family and follow him wherever he decides to lead. 

Jim's lost in a world that's just the two of them sharing the same air. He swears he can hear Khan's heart beating over the din of his own in his ears and it's a good feeling. He likes being close to him like this, especially after a powerful orgasm, when they're both tired and boneless and spent. "I love you." 

Khan purrs at the words and echoes them gratefully, "And I you, my James." He does not urge his lover off and out of him, but gives himself this extra time to become used to the sensation of being filled, to allowing himself to enjoy it. He presses a kiss to James' ear and adds, "Thank you."

"I enjoyed it, too, baby," Jim murmurs, not really having any intention of moving anywhere. He's totally boneless. He doesn't think he could move even if he wanted to, his limbs are trembling so much. 

"You are all right?" Khan asks, smoothing his hands down James' arms. He's not used to his lover being quite this worked up after their love making. "James?"

To be fair, Jim's also never held off on an orgasm for that long, either, so the poor blond is a little worn out. "Yeah, I'm good. Really good. Just tired," he replies, muffled against Khan's neck where he's buried his face. 

Khan presses a kiss to James' cheek and murmurs, "Tomorrow night, we will christen your quarters aboard the Enterprise."


	32. Chapter 32

"Yeah, about that," Jim says quietly, too lazy to speak at normal volume. "We gotta get the rest of our stuff packed and we gotta be out of here by 2200 so we can get beamed up." 

"I have nothing to speak of to pack," Khan reminds him with a soft ruffle of his hair. "And whatever is left of yours can be swiftly handled between the two of us. Unless you are hiding rather a lot of possessions somewhere."

"Jamie and Tiberius. We gotta go get them before we leave. We can't just forget them at the vet's," the blond replies, nipping his lover's jaw in reprimand. 

"They are not massively large creatures...though their combined possessions are rather greater than mine," Khan admits. "I hope they enjoy life in space."

"Spock had a cat for a bit. It came on board with an ambassador and just stuck to him like glue the whole time we were escorting him." Jim grins a little at the memory. "Bones started theorizing about how Vulcans evolved from cats. I'm sure they'll be able to find friends to play with." 

"Are you suggesting Jamie and Tiberius may desert us for your Vulcan?" Khan asks with a frown. "I am not sure I wish to take that risk with them. I may have to confine them to quarters at all times." His hand runs lightly through James' hair, mussing it further. 

"No, of course not." Jim laughs quietly and lifts his head just enough to press a delicate kiss to Khan's temple. "Just that they'll have friends and won't be lonely, even if you can't play with them all day." 

"They will have each other and us. I do not believe we can allow them to wander the Enterprise, so they shall stay in your quarters, as they will have more space to play there," Khan says.

"No, but they can have playdates. Some of the other crew members could babysit them on occasion, maybe." Jim thinks that kind of interaction would be good for the kittens. 

"I would have to review them all personally," Khan says imperiously and only half-joking. The furballs helped him get through the rest of prison, and he will not see any harm befall them.

"It's not like I'm saying you should leave them with someone who eats cats." Jim knows that tone and what it means, so he bites at the Augment's earlobe to distract him. "Maybe start with Chekov and see how that goes." 

"He seems innocent enough," Khan says. "The kittens will run rampage all over him." He nods consideringly. "He may be allowed."  
Jim Kirk: Jim laughs at that image, knowing Khan's probably right. Chekov would let the cute kittens stomp all over him and not lift a finger to do anything about it. "He'll be the safest option, followed closely by Spock." 

"Your Vulcan is not proper material," Khan dismisses lazily. "And your engineer is a disaster."

"There's nothing wrong with Spock and Scotty's too busy fondling the nacelles to worry about cats," Jim counters. 

"His assistant might be an amusing kittensitter," Khan says and then bites James' ear in belated retaliation, sucking hard.

"Keenser? He might ea--" Jim cuts himself off with a groan and he punches Khan's arm playfully. "You cheater." 

"He might eat them?" Khan growls. "I will never look at him the same way again." 

"It was a joke," Jim informs him, raising an eyebrow. "Keenser barely eats anything. It'd take him years to make it through a whole cat." 

"That was not a persuasive argument," Khan says, "and now, I have a the horrible image of Keenser eating defenseless kittens over the course of years in my mind. And you are to blame."

Jim just laughs again, scooting towards the edge of the bed so he can get up. "I'm gotta pee. Have fun with your mental images." 

"Oversharing is not caring," Khan calls after him and then uncoils himself from their warm bedclothes. He stretches himself out, glad for the quick healing of an augment and then follows after James, hoping to catch him washing his hands. He better be washing his hands...

Please, Jim's not a complete pig. He does wash his hands after. Besides, they're covered in lube and come and all sorts of other things, too. "Hey." 

Khan leans in and presses a warm kiss to James' nape, before reaching around him to wash his own hands. "Shall we rest a little before heading for your Gray Lady or must we pack now?"

"I'd like to rest, but if we're gonna have time to get the kids, we'd better pack up. We can rest after we launch the ship. That'll take all of five minutes." Jim leans back against him, tipping his head back until he can kiss Khan's jaw. "I know the timing's not great." 

Khan wraps his arms around James and holds him tight. "I have everything I need, besides the kittens, right here."

The blond smiles and flushes just a little, happy to be so important. "I know there's not a lot. It's just our clothes, my PADD, and my epi-pen, but I want to make sure we've got enough time to get the kittens in case there's paperwork to do, or whatever. I don't know. I've never had a pet." 

Khan chuckles and sucks at his mark on James' neck for a moment, before saying, "This is all new for me, as well, my James. And I would not wish to chance that we do not leave enough time to retrieve them."

Jim hums contentedly at the attention and closes his eyes to enjoy it for a bit. "Then you should have a shower while I pack our things. Can't go around with you dribbling everywhere," he says with a small smirk. 

Khan growls and bites down harder on the mark, mauling it for a second. "You are no gentleman," he chides, but with true amusement. "And your front is hardly clean."

Jim winces a little, but then he grins. "Alright, alright. Maybe we both need to have a shower. A quick one. No funny business." 

Khan skims his hand over James' front and traces the length of his cock, before saying dismissively, "You couldn't handle any funny business right now anyway." He turns to handle the shower.

The blond bristles a little, but then recognizes the taunt for exactly what it is and huffs. "You mean you couldn't handle it." Jim follows him into the shower and slaps his ass. "Sore?"

Khan glances over his shoulder and smiles at James, eyes soft. "I am not," he says, "though there were some twinges to begin with. You are well built, my James, and my experience is little."

Jim can't help but preen a little at that. "Well, it's probably better that you're not sore. Can't have you walking around with a tell-tale limp, right?" he asks and then reaches over to turn the water on, cringing when he sets it too cold at first. 

Khan rolls his eyes and says, "I would not show my pain anyway," before climbing into the shower. He resets the water over James and sighs at the warmth.

"Mm, better." Jim gives Khan's ass one more slap, and then a squeeze, before he focuses on cleaning and reaches for the soap. 

Khan finally smacks at James' ass in retaliation, landing a nice, satisfying blow across the cheeks. "Yes, that is better."

The blond wiggles his hips a little twists enough to look at his rear, rubbing it tenderly. "Hey, my ass isn't as durable as yours." 

"Brat," Khan scolds, "you would not suffer the consequences if you did not push your liberties with my person." His hand, warm and tender now, gently smooths over the abused spot, however.

Jim looks a little smug at him and poses a question: "If I didn't push my liberties, would we even be here?" 

Khan considers this and finally says, "I am not sure liberties is the way I would have put our first trysts. You were horny and willing to bed someone you didn't even like...I am not sure what that says for either of us, but I think it is best avoided."

"Wouldn't have had sex with you if I hated you," Jim points out because he feels that's an important distinction to make. 

Khan laughs softly and takes up the soap, carefully applying it to James' body. "For that I will attempt to be grateful."

Jim likes being tended to like that so he keeps still and lets Khan clean him. "I don't think it says bad stuff about us, either. It just means we were willing to take a chance."

Khan smooths his hands over James' ribs and kisses the still soap-free skin of his shoulders. "And here we are. With two kids and a ship to call home."

"At least there's no white picket fence," Jim quips, pushing Khan's hair back and noting just how dark it looks when it's wet. 

"I would not mind a house on Earth itself one day," Khan says quietly. "If we survive our adventures in space, our lifetimes will be long indeed."

Jim knows Khan's got a higher likelihood of surviving than he does, but that's the way it should be. "Just not in Iowa. Anywhere but Iowa." 

"I willingly make that promise," Khan says with a low chuckle. "And add that I would prefer somewhere warm. And perhaps remote...at least for when we could get away."

"For winter vacations, when it's too cold in other places," Jim agrees, stroking his thumb along his lover's temple. "I bet there's lots of islands like that."

"Can you afford to buy me an island?" Khan asks innocently, pressing into that thumb.

"No. Not even close," Jim admits. "They're probably a couple million credits, right?" 

Khan laughs softly and says, "I will content myself with visiting. Come, let us make ready. The time grows nigh."

"Sometimes, you sound like a vampire," Jim quips before stealing the soap from Khan so he can take to washing his lover's rear, carefully working on cleaning him out. 

"You just speak like a commoner," Khan dismisses and eases back to give James access for washing.

"I am a commoner." Jim snorts, a little amused, and he makes quick work of washing Khan out. Then it's time to turn off the water and step out of the shower, snagging a towel for each of them. "They've probably missed you."

"I hope we are speaking of kittens and not vampires now," Khan says, taking the towel from James.

"Mmhmm. Vampire kittens." Jim dries himself off and then heads into the bedroom to get dressed, finding his gold tunic and his Starfleet-issued pants. 

"James," Khan murmurs, following him out, still naked. He catches him just as he picks up his pants and latches on to his throat with a little growl. He sucks a mark up on the pale skin, before saying in a perfect accent, "I want to drink your blood."

The moan that gets in response in unexpectedly loud and it even startles Jim, who looks completely debauched despite the brevity of the encounter. "Holy hell. That's fucking hot." 

"Oh, I like that," Khan purrs and licks over the mark. "We shall definitely have to play with that sometime."

"You'd make a sexy vampire. Really sexy." Jim has to force himself not to imagine that because they have kittens to pick up and things to pack, so he tasks himself once more with getting dressed. "But let's behave for right now." 

Khan hums the tune of 'Let's Misbehave,' even as he dresses and packs the few things he has. He begins to assist wit James' packing, since the captain has more and is not the best organized.

"I bet you're a good singer, too," Jim muses as he stuffs his things into his duffel bag. No, he's not organized, but he doesn't particularly care about folding, either, so things get packed away quickly. 

"Perhaps for you alone one day," Khan says with a glance at his lover. He begins a final comb through the apartment for any last items, picking up a few strays for James to pack, before circling back to him. "I believe we are ready."

"Yep, yep." Jim glances around, hands on his hips as he does a mental check. As far as he can tell, they've got everything, and anything left behind at this point isn't particularly important. "Okay, you take this down to the car and -- ....We don't have a car. We left it at the airport. Brilliant, us. Taxi, it is. New plan: you get us a taxi, I'll sign us out at the front desk." 

"I could not wait that long," Khan says and kisses his nape, before heading to go call for a shuttlecab, which would take but a moment. "I shall meet you in front."

"See you shortly." Jim smiles at him, does one last check to make sure there's nothing insanely out-of-place, and then he heads down to the reception. He signs himself out so Starfleet can clean and reuse the unit, and then he goes out to see if Khan's had any success with getting a cab. 

Khan meets him a moment later and says, "The cab is promised within a few minutes." He looks around them at the city. "I shall not be sad to leave this place with you, but I find at last I have pleasant memories of it."

Jim smiles at him and reaches out to brush his fingers against Khan's shoulder. "That's good. Then you'll look forward to coming back and visiting sometime. Getting Noonie III, for example." Jim definitely made sure the worm got packed. 

"With you only," Khan says and smiles for James, a smile that vanishes as their cab pulls up. "For now, I am pleased for the trip."

Jim pulls out his PADD to get the address of the vet clinic, which he gives to the driver, and off they go. It's boring to sit in the back and watch the scenery, so Jim reaches over and rubs his fingers against Khan's thigh absently. 

Khan twines their fingers and asks, "Where do we catch the shuttle to your Gray Lady, Captain?" He wants, aches to be aboard now, with the stars around them and his other life far behind.

"At the shipyard. They've got an express shuttle. It's probably twenty minutes from the vet," Jim replies. 

"More like 14," the driver cuts in. "Pretty obvious that you're Starfleet there, Captain."

"Not just any Starfleet either," Khan whispers softly. "My Starfleet." He rubs a thumb over their joined fingers. 

Jim looks over at Khan and smiles, glad to see he's finally changed his mind about it. He'd been wondering how long Khan would continue calling it Jim's Starfleet. "No denying that," Jim says to the driver. It's just as likely the man recognized his face as it is his shirt. 

They pull up a few moments later at the vet, and Khan asks, "Are you waiting here or coming in with me to retrieve Tiberius and Jamie?"

Jim's already opening his door, so he just shoots Khan an amused look before stepping out. The driver knows to wait for them so Jim leads the way into the vet clinic.

Khan refrains from an impolite gesture and follows after his lover. He cannot lie to himself that he feels excited to see the kittens again, as much a part of his family as James, in a very different way. "You are also eager to see them," he accuses James lightly.

"Of course I am. I only got to see them every once in a while," Jim replies while he waits for the receptionist to get him all the forms he needs to sign. "Okay, how about I take care of this and you go get the kittens all packed up to go?"

Khan nods and then goes with the assistant to the back to pick up his kittens. They mewl and fall all over each other trying to get to him, and he scoops them up in his arms, petting and reassuring each one (and himself) in turn that all is well. He carefully puts them in their carrier and takes them out to James. "We are very much ready."

By then, Jim's signed all the forms and paid the fees and has bought some cans of their recommended food (and some treats). He smiles up at Khan and the kittens, just admiring the way they make his lover light up. "Good. Let's go, then." Jim waves at the receptionist and then he holds the door open for Khan.

Khan steps out and says, "You will get to see them much more often now. And perhaps they will ease the way for some of the crew? I would imagine some of the younger members may like kittens."

"Weren't you already making threats against Chekov when I said he'd like them?" Jim asks with a laugh as he scoots past Khan so he can open the taxi door for him, too. 

"Possibly," Khan says with a shrug. "But as you and I are not to live together, I must seek out other company."

"We can live next door, though," Jim says as he climbs into the taxi after them. Finally, he gets to gently take Jamie and cuddle her in his lap, stroking at her soft fur. Yep, he's missed these cats.

Khan watches for a moment, before taking Tiberius and showing him the same attention. "Then I am well satisfied. And how close will your Vulcan be?"

"He'll be on the other side of me, and Bones will be on the other side of you." Jim's not sure why that matters. The walls are sound insulated. 

"We shall all be very close together," Khan muses and then shakes his head. "That will make things that much more exciting."

The blond laughs and reaches over to gently nudge Khan's shoulder. "Don't cause any mischief."

Khan's gentle fingers reduce Tiberius to a puddle of furry purring. "To what do you refer?" he asks haughtily.

"Right. Nothing. Absolutely nothing." Jim smiles down at Jamie and falls into silence for the last few minutes of their trip, staring out the window at the approaching shuttleport. 

"There we are, gentlemen," the driver pipes up when he pulls up to the front gate. 

Jim reaches up to hand the man his credit chip to pay, and then he tucks it back into his wallet, collects his cat, and climbs out of the cab. 

Khan puts Tiberius back in the carrier and says, "James, put Jamie away, lest she accidentally escape you. I don't fancy having to chase her down." He shakes his head fondly at his lover.

Jim pouts a little and looks between Jamie and the carrier, but he gently puts her in there anyway. "She doesn't like confined spaces. And besides, you could totally catch her."

"That would be a most ignominious beginning to my time on the Enterprise," Khan says. "Chasing down a terrified, fleeing furball."

"It's good bonding," Jim replies, feigning aloofness. He gathers up the last of their things from the cab and the trunk, thanks the driver, and then shuts the door. "Well. Shall we?"

Khan takes his small bit of belongings and the kittens' carrier. "Indeed. I am excited, Captain. I wish to see your ship as a member of the crew."

"Good. Then let's go. They're already waiting for us." Jim looks over at the guards, who are already opening the gate for them, and then he looks back at Khan, smiling away. He's about to start a new life with this man, a new adventure. Five years is a long time, but with Khan at his side, they'll just blaze by. 

Khan walks by the side of the man who has given him a new chance at life, a life such as he has never known before. A place aboard a silver ship that will carry him through the stars, beyond where anyone has ever gone before. Away from his past. Away from his mistakes and his losses. Away from the judgements and responsibilities that have weighed on his shoulders since birth. 

Khan lifts his head to the sky, to the future. There will be no looking back.

**Author's Note:**

> WAITING  
> by: John Burroughs (1837-1921)
> 
> SERENE, I fold my hands and wait,  
> Nor care for wind, nor tide, nor sea;  
> I rave no more 'gainst time or fate,  
> For, lo! my own shall come to me.
> 
> I stay my haste, I make delays,  
> For what avails this eager pace?  
> I stand amid the eternal ways,  
> And what is mine shall know my face.
> 
> Asleep, awake, by night or day,  
> The friends I seek are seeking me;  
> No wind can drive my bark astray,  
> Nor change the tide of destiny.
> 
> What matter if I stand alone?  
> I wait with joy the coming years;  
> My heart shall reap where it hath sown,  
> And garner up its fruit of tears.
> 
> The waters know their own and draw  
> The brook that springs in yonder height;  
> So flows the good with equal law  
> Unto the soul of pure delight.
> 
> The stars come nightly to the sky;  
> The tidal wave unto the sea;  
> Nor time, nor space, nor deep, nor high,  
> Can keep my own away from me.


End file.
